Blackness Within (The Blackness Series Book 5)

by Norma Jeanne Karlsson

  I tried endlessly to get her to go out with me the last time we were here, only to be met with kind smiles that conveyed she’d go out with me about a decade after hell froze over. It turned me on. I’ve never had to work for a woman. So I’ll be honest and say the challenge became more of the game rather than actually wanting her. I’m a dick and I own that knowingly. I gave up the fight pretty quickly. She wasn’t interested and plenty of others were. Natasha stuck with me though. That’s new.

  “She’s doin’ great,” I announce with pride.

  “The waiting room is eager to see if that’s true,” Natasha says with a knowing smile.

  The Kavanaghs, Callaghans and O’Sullivans have placed Kid at the center of our extended families. Add in Kieran’s family along with Nick Cooper and his family, and I’m sure the waiting area is standing room only.

  “I’m gonna check you now,” Natasha says moving to shove her hand inside Kid. I’m not a fan of this maneuver. None of the guys are, so like pussies, we all close our eyes. A few tense moments later and Natasha announces, “You’re fully dilated and fully effaced. Do you feel ready to push?”

  “Yes,” Kid breathes out as another contraction bears down on her.

  “I’ll get Doctor Wentz and we’ll welcome these boys into the world.”

  “I don’t think I can do this,” Kav whines.

  “Because this is so fuckin’ hard for you,” Kid grinds out.

  “Seein’ you in pain and doin’ nothin’ but holdin’ your iron grip is torture.”

  “Kavy, where I go, you go,” Kid states emphatically. This is our family motto and the moment Kid utters the words, Kav puts his vagina away and mans up.

  A large group of doctors and nurses descend upon the room and shit gets real. I swallow down bile and force myself not to faint as I pull Kid’s leg back while Cal does the same thing. Our gazes stay firmly planted on Kid’s face. She may be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, but she’s my sister and I have no desire to see babies being smashed out of her.

  The twins enter the world within a minute of each other and I don’t cry. This is my story and I’ll lie if I want to. I collapse in a heap as Kellerman, Kav and Cal follow the babies like hawks while the nurses do whatever it is they do to newborn babies.

  “I did it, Sully,” Kid says interlacing her fingers with mine.

  “You’re my hero,” I beam at her.

  Kid sends a stunning smile my way as her eyes flutter shut.

  “You ready for a turn?” Kav asks, cradling a blue bundle in his massive python arms.

  “Hell yes!”

  Kav passes me the tiny baby and I melt like a little bitch. He’s got goo and blood on him and he’s still perfect. He peers up at me with an inquisitive look on his baby face.

  “Dude, you have been born into the coolest fuckin’ family. Your mom…you hit the jackpot. And your uncles, the three of us who have to be your favorite uncles, will teach you how to piss her off like no other.”

  These are the same words I spoke when Johnny was born ten months ago. Now Kid and Kellerman have Irish triplets and the words feel even more glorious flowing from my lips.

  “That’s not a very nice thing to say when she just gave birth like a champ,” Natasha scolds me from across the bed. Her eyes are like Midwestern stormy afternoons just before a tornado begins to form. It’s intoxicating.

  “I can be a good boy when I feel like it,” I purr, offering her a lazy grin.

  This is the moment where most women melt into puddles of hormones at my feet. The blank, unimpressed gaze meeting me is defeating. I’m not going to get Natasha into my grasp. Bummer.

  “Shannon,” Natasha wakes my best friend softly.

  “Sorry,” Kid apologizes quickly, her eyes scanning the room for the babies and relaxing when she locates them.

  “That large family of yours is ready to descend upon you,” Natasha finishes with a genuine smile parting her naturally crimson lips. What I could do with that mouth.

  The baby in my arms lets out a sharp squeal pulling my perverted mind out of the gutter. Kid reaches out and I happily pass him off. I don’t have what he wants…boobs.

  “I’ve got you, Mikey,” Kid coos as she expertly latches the baby on.

  Michael Patrick Kellerman goes to town like a pro as Robert Stephen Kellerman tunes up in his father’s guarded embrace. The boys are named after the men that have helped raise my sister. Michael is Kav’s father’s name and the name of the uncle that raised her, though he went by Mick when he was still alive. Robert is Callaghan’s father and Stephen is mine.

  So now we have Mikey and Robbie to carry on our family legacy that’s built on unconventional, unconditional love.

  Our large loud family descends upon the room a few minutes later and I begrudgingly relinquish my place at Kid’s side. I spot Natasha leaving the room and decide it’s time to take another shot at getting her to go out with me.

  “Natasha,” I call out once I’m in the corridor.

  She spins around with a furrowed brow and crinkled nose. She took such amazing care of Kid today that I want to try to be a little nicer to her than I was last time I saw her. I was in a weird place that day and not quite on my game. I’m better today.

  “Thanks for everything you did for my sister,” I say sincerely.

  “It’s my job. Shannon did all the hard work.”

  I take a few steps closer to her and look down into her kind face.

  “Go out with me to celebrate me becoming an uncle again,” I say through a broad smile.

  She smiles at me with that same smile she gave me last time. The when hell freezes over smile.

  “No. Go spend some time with your family and enjoy your nephews. Nice seeing you again,” she says with no indication it was actually nice to see me now or ever.

  She strides away and I watch her ass all the way, until I can’t see it anymore.

  “Dude your game with her is shit,” Kav scoffs from the doorway.

  “At least I’ve got game.”

  “Bitch please. You wouldn’t know game if you were standing in the middle of the field at the Super Bowl.”

  I laugh at my friend before responding, “You’re right. I don’t have game for football players like you do. I’d be knee deep in pussy while you played grab ass with a bunch of dudes.”

  “That chick’s gettin’ to you,” he points out as we lean against the back wall of the room while the twins are passed around.

  “I always did like a challenge.”

  Kav studies me for a moment without saying anything. Either his slow ass brain is coming up with some funny shit to say or my best friend is getting serious on me.

  “Pussy you have to work for, is just that…work. Get that easy shit before your balls get saggy and you need a crane to lift those things.”

  “Why would I need a crane when I’ve got you?” I snark.

  He flips me the bird and we both chuckle before moving into the mass of people and making our way back to Kid’s side. Right where we belong in life.

  Natasha

  May

  Eight months ago

  I’m exhausted. This has been a week full of hard deliveries. I’m hunched over the desk at the nurses’ station when a familiar voice gets my attention.

  I pop my head up to find Sully and Shannon walking down the corridor, each holding flowers. I put my head back down as they get closer, hoping they’ll just move past without noticing me. I’d love to see how Shannon’s doing, but I have no interest in talking to her brother. He’s trouble and then some. I don’t need trouble. I’ve worked my ass off to make sure I don’t have his kind of trouble in my life.

  “Natasha?” Shannon’s raspy voice calls out from above me.

  I look up to see her beautiful, smiling face beaming at me. I smile back before greeting her, “Shannon. How are you?”

  I climb to my sore feet and walk around the desk. Her tall frame engulfs me in a tight hug before setting me back.
r />   “Really good. The twins just turned one and started walking. It’s crazy how fast the time flies.”

  “It really does. Are you here to visit someone?” I ask the stupid question.

  “My assistant had a baby girl this morning,” Sully’s sexy deep voice cuts in.

  I look over at him for the first time and ignore the warm sexy smile he’s directing at me. Ebony hair, dark chocolate eyes, plump lips, a square jaw with dark stubble covering it, he’s hot and he knows it. His body is to die for and I’m sure he slays a few women a week with it. Trouble. The first time I saw him he didn’t have a shirt on, and I felt my knees go weak. With his muscular arms, broad shoulders and eight-pack complete with man V, Brian O’Sullivan is a man to steer clear of.

  “Do you know what room she’s in?” I remain professional and turn my gaze back to Shannon.

  “Yeah. I just wanted to stop and say hi to you. I know I said this last time, but if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to call me. I feel like I owe you after everything you’ve done for me.”

  I wave my hand dismissively saying, “It’s my job, Shannon. You don’t owe me. I’m glad your boys are doin’ well. Maybe I’ll see you when you’re leaving.”

  She beams a mega-watt smile and moves down the corridor. Sully offers me a Cheshire grin as he approaches me. Here we go.

  “You busy tonight?” he asks with a sex-filled voice.

  “Yes,” I lie.

  I’m not busy. I broke up with my boyfriend last night, making this week of hell that much shittier. I just couldn’t keep having the same fight over and over with him. We’ve been off and on for years now and it’s time to just be done. So, I ended it.

  “Busy tomorrow?” He leans in closer.

  “I’ll check my schedule and get back to you.”

  “You don’t have my number.”

  “I know,” I deadpan with a smile that says you don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell.

  He grins at me and takes a step closer until he’s in all of my personal space, forcing me to look up at him.

  “I’ll be good,” he whispers. “Unless you want me to be bad.”

  “I think you should go visit your assistant and let me get back to work. Have a good evening.”

  I move away from him and retake my seat, charting where I left off and not sparing him a glance as he hesitates and then walks away.

  When I finish all of my work, complete my change-of-shift report and gather my things, I’m a pile of exhausted mush as I make my way to my car. I unlock the doors, throw my bag in the backseat and move to the driver’s side door when I hear, “Natasha!” in the distance.

  I look over my shoulder to see Sully striding toward me. This guy can’t take a hint. I may have to mace him. I steel my spine and prepare myself to tell him to fuck off as he arrives at my car.

  “I’d like to take you out to dinner. I’ll be on my best behavior. I promise,” he says, dramatically crossing his heart.

  “Thank you for the offer, but no. Have a good night.”

  With that, I attempt to fold into my car and wince as a muscle in my back spasms. Sully rushes to my side and steadies me on my feet with one large hand on my hip the other gripping my hand firmly.

  “You okay?” he asks genuinely concerned as that cocky, annoying guy slips from his features.

  “It’s been a long week. I just tweaked my back earlier. I’m fine now. Thank you,” I say kindly, removing my hand from his. Ignoring anything that’s bubbling in my stomach.

  “You shouldn’t be alone if you’re hurt. Let me follow you home. Make sure you don’t need any help getting in.”

  “That’s sweet, but I’m fine. Really. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

  I drop into my seat and cover up the pain it causes and wait for him to release my door. Sully regards me for a long time before nodding once and saying, “Take care, Natasha.” He shuts my door softly and disappears amongst the cars. I drive home and remind myself that I don’t need trouble. My life has always had trouble in it that I couldn’t control. I can control this kind and I’ll be damned if I give into a guy like Brian O’Sullivan.

  O’Sullivan

  I pull my sister into my arms and then spin her away with ease as we move around the dance floor together. Yes, my mother made me and my brothers take dance lessons until we graduated high school. Pushing Kid around a room is one of my favorite things to do with her and I do it as often as I can. Today is different though.

  She’s covered in elegant ivory silk, caressing every inch of her long lean body. It’s simple and breathtaking, just like Kid. I’m sure the dress is more than what I’m making of it, but I’m focused on the glow coming off my sister. I’ve never seen her shine this bright. Her green eyes are shimmering brighter than any emerald ever has. Her auburn hair is swept up in a mass of curls that bounce and move happily as she sways. And the smile stretched across her stunning face is blinding, filled with love and overwhelming joy.

  I pull her in close and rock her body.

  “I’m married,” she whispers gleefully.

  “You’re married,” I mutter into her forehead before kissing her porcelain skin.

  “I never wanted this.”

  “I know.”

  “I’m so fuckin’ happy I have it.”

  “I know.”

  She tips her head up and looks deeply into my eyes before asking, “Are you happy?”

  “I loved you the moment I met you, Kid. A seventeen-year-old girl with the world by the balls. I found peace the day I found you. I’ve been happy every day since then. I’ve hurt when you hurt. Tortured when you were tortured. I was devastated when you were attacked the first day I met you. I was inspired to watch you fight your way out of the blackness that took you over. I laughed harder when you joked. I smiled broader when you smiled. I grew as you did. When you fell in love with Kellerman, I loved you even more. And when you were stolen from me, I perished. Then I died the day you were almost ripped from this world. When you came back, my life was bright again. But through all of that, I’ve always been happy because I’ve spent just a minute with you in my life. I’m happy Kid. I have you.”

  “I love you, Sully,” she whispers with tears pooling in her eyes that she won’t shed, capped emotion in her throat.

  “I love you.”

  I crush her with my arms and hold her close before I push her away and twirl her three times. When I tug her back to me, there’s once again joy radiating in her face and I cherish the sight. I move with her until our time together comes to an end. She has a husband to attend to. Shannon Kellerman, my sister, the bright spot that lightens the blackness within me.

  Kellerman sweeps his bride into his massive arms when she reaches him. He loves her with everything he has, just as he should. I didn’t lose a sister today. I gained a brother. A man I’m proud to call family.

  “I’ve got dibs on the brunette,” Kav says, nodding toward the girl he wants at the bar. “And the strawberry blonde.”

  “You should write this down so you don’t forget in a few whiskeys.”

  He pulls his phone out of his suit jacket pocket and types away.

  “Remind me to check my phone if I get too blitzed.”

  “I’ve got my own list to keep track of,” I inform him.

  “See you in the morning,” he replies through a cocky grin and then saunters away to capture his prey.

  I peruse the room full of people, zeroing in on a chestnut-haired beauty in a short blue dress and decide she’s the one for tonight. She’s not blonde so she’s a good option. There’s only one blonde I want and I haven’t been able to get her for over a year and a half. That’s a long time to wait for a piece of ass. Natasha has stuck to me like glue, and no matter how hard I try to wash her off or fuck her out of my system, she’s still there.

  I followed her home a few nights ago. I saw her at the hospital and something was off with her. She seemed sad, tired and in pain. I wanted to make all of that go away
and not just with my dick. That’s not normal for me. At all. I’m chalking it up to temporary insanity from lack of getting into her pants. I only care about the women in my family. It’s not a hard rule or something, but I don’t form relationships with women long enough to give a shit about them. I find that easier in life.

  So I’m going to take this woman in a blue dress up to my hotel room, fuck her brains out and hopefully I won’t find Natasha on my mind while I’m doing it. I need to forget her and move on. It’s never going to happen between us and if I don’t leave her alone, I’m going to end up with a restraining order. Luckily, I don’t spend a lot of time in the maternity unit so it’ll be easy to avoid her. It’s time to let the hypnotic blonde go. I’ll keep telling myself that until it finally happens.

  Natasha

  Present day

  Early January

  The end of three twelve hour shifts is the last time I want to hear from Darla Reynolds.

  “Hey, Mom,” I huff into the phone as I fold into my silver Camry. I bought it used five years ago and I baby the damn thing like everything else that I’ve worked for. And I’ve worked for every single thing I have in life.

  My mother tried to help, but she’s barely been able to make it throughout the years. She got pregnant in high school and promptly dropped out, leaving her with a newborn, single and no skills. She made ends meet working two jobs as long as I can remember. It was usually a combination of fast food work during the day and cleaning jobs at night. It was a hard way to grow up. Goodwill clothes, cold winters trying to save on heating bills, no air conditioning in the scorching Midwestern summers, sometimes days without food and weeks where I wouldn’t even see my mother. If it wasn’t for Blake, I’m not sure I’d be here today.

  I’m three years younger than Blake, but he’s been my protector since the day I was born. We may be half siblings—call us that and I promise both of us will go off—but he’s everything to me. Blake’s a kind soul at the base of who he is. He protected me when no one else was around to do it. I wish that Blake was still around now. Drugs have turned him into a muddled shadow of who he once was and now I have to look out for him. That’s why my mom is calling me at the end of my shift.