Blackness Within (The Blackness Series Book 5)

by Norma Jeanne Karlsson

  O’Sullivan

  “What the fuck did you do?” the entire group screams at me when Natasha closes the front door.

  “Fucked up,” I answer honestly.

  “Fix it! Now!” Kid yells at me, stomping her feet as she does.

  I race to the front door to try to catch Natasha. I didn’t need my family to tell me to do it. I just couldn’t make my feet move before. When I hit our front porch, I find the driveway empty. She moved faster than I did.

  “Shit,” Kav mutters behind me.

  “Yeah,” I agree, stalking back inside. “Finn!” I bellow before turning toward the home office.

  “You’re a stupid motherfucker, you know that?” he snarls at me.

  “Fuck off, Finn,” I growl back. “She said she was goin’ to a motel near her first apartment. Get me that address.”

  “I’m not sure you goin’ after her is a great idea. I’ll go. You take a backseat now,” he instructs, flopping into the desk chair.

  “Don’t tell me what to do,” I argue, taking the seat across from him.

  “Well, you’re not doin’ a bang up job tellin’ yourself what to do. Someone smart should run your brain for a little while,” he snarks back, not looking away from the monitor of the computer.

  “I just wanted her to see I’m not good for her. I didn’t mean to run her off,” I huff.

  “I’ll take a turn then. She’s fuckin’ hot as hell, smart, independent and all alone. I’d hit that in an instant and never let go.”

  “You touch her and I’ll end you,” I threaten in a menacing tone, balling fists on my thighs.

  “So you don’t want her and no one else can have her? Fuck you, O’Sullivan. I always thought you ran through pussy like Kav, havin’ a good time. I didn’t know it was because you’re a bitch that can’t man up when it’s time.”

  I leap to my feet and round the desk in a few strides. Finn’s on his feet ready for a fight when I get to him.

  “You put your hands on me and we’re goin’ at it hard,” he warns me.

  “Don’t touch Natasha!” I roar in his face.

  “If he can’t, I am,” Kav growls from the doorway.

  “Fuck off, Kav!” I scream at him.

  “I’m gonna fuck Natasha. That sounds better,” he taunts.

  “I’ll beat the shit outta both of you. Quit fuckin’ with me.”

  “Pull your head outta your ass,” Finn instructs before sitting down again.

  I know what they’re doing and it’s working. They want me to see what I had right in front of me and I just ran it off like a little bitch, afraid. It’s unfortunate that I’m an idiot. She was putty in my hands and I let it slip through. No, that’s too easy. I shoved her away because I didn’t know how to hold on.

  “I’m not findin’ any addresses for her or Blake,” Finn grumbles at the screen.

  “What did you do to her?” Kav questions, sitting in the chair I was in before confronting Finn.

  I slink around the desk and take the chair next to him.

  “Kissed her,” I groan.

  “You must be the shittiest kisser in the world to cause that reaction,” Kav teases.

  “I may have also told her I make the same moves on at least three women a week.”

  “I thought I was the asshole of the group. Stay here a second, I’ll go get my crown for you.”

  I flip him the bird.

  “You accomplished your goal. Why’re you switching your story now?” Finn asks in an accusatory tone.

  “I wanted her to see me for what I am. I didn’t think she’d run off. You know I don’t do serious.”

  “Just because you haven’t, doesn’t mean you can’t, pussy,” Kav goads me.

  I grunt but don’t respond.

  “She’s the marrying type,” Finn points out.

  There are two types of women in our opinion: the kind you fuck and the kind you marry. Natasha is definitely the marrying type, hence the reason I tried to scare her away from me. I didn’t scare her though. I proved her theories about men to be true and pissed her off. On a side note, she’s fucking hot when she’s angry.

  “You call dibs now, or I am,” Finn says plainly, finally meeting my gaze.

  His bright blue eyes are determined. Out of all of us he’s the only one that’s had serious long-term relationships over the years. When any of us want a woman for ourselves we call dibs. It’s our man code. Once dibs are called the rest of us back off. If I don’t call dibs, Finn or Kav will. I don’t want them anywhere near her. If I call dibs and don’t act, it negates the code. No backburners allowed. Shit.

  “Dibs,” I state forcefully.

  “You fuck it up and I’m goin’ in for the kill,” Kav says through a lazy stretch. I roll my eyes and punch him in his massive bicep. He rumbles with laughter before asking Finn, “Find her yet?”

  “No,” he mutters, running his hand through his hair for the fiftieth time. “She wasn’t kidding about knowin’ how to hide. Why was she so easy to find now?”

  “She felt safe,” I answer in a guilty shrug.

  “Well, if I can’t find her, neither can the Bratva. I’ll keep diggin’, but we’re probably gonna have to wait for her to contact me.”

  “You think she will?” Kav asks me.

  “I hope so.”

  They both nod in understanding. We may never hear from her again and it will be all my fault. I pushed her away from me directly into a lion’s den. I’m a selfish son of a bitch. What have I done?

  Natasha

  Paper-thin walls are my reality. I’ve heard every sex act I can imagine and things I’m not sure I want to over the last four days. Yesterday involved a man barking like a dog while two women purred like cats. Zeus was not amused.

  The plus side is no one knows where I am. I haven’t contacted Finn. I’m going to, but I’m still working on my plan. I need to have solid moves in place for everything to work. I’m also hoping Blake will come for me. He’s almost a week into detox at this point. When he’s sober, he’ll find me within hours.

  This room is as disgusting as it should be. Moving around to places like this through my childhood taught me some tricks to avoid catching communicable diseases. I bought plastic sheets to put over the mattress after I “borrowed” the vacuum from the maid. I went over every surface in here twice, including the mattress. I bleached everything bleachable and a few things that aren’t. Once I was satisfied with my scouring, I settled in and haven’t left. I bought a tiny fridge, a microwave and enough food for a week before we got here. I can’t risk being seen in the streets.

  Coming to this neighborhood ensures no one will look for me here, but this is the place that the people looking for me frequent. I’m hiding in plain sight. A calculated move on my part. I’ve been letting Zeus out the back door to relieved himself and he does it quickly, sensing our need to be invisible.

  The motel backs up to an abandoned lot, littered with the trash from the garbage that spends time here. I haven’t seen another soul since I checked in. I don’t plan to. The guy that was working the desk when I got here barely glanced at me while I lied to him about my name and paid him a week’s advance. He didn’t remember what I looked like two seconds after I left his presence and the plume of his pot smoke cloud.

  I’ve taught Junior how to roll over while we’ve been here. I felt so elated when he did it the first time on his own, giggling at his own accomplishment. Every shitty thing happening right now faded to the background and I felt a glimmer of happiness. It was short lived because our newest neighbors began an intense spanking session, but I’ve ridden that high until now.

  Two swift knocks on the rickety door ruin everything.

  Zeus is immediately at alert. I’ve been gifted a deep sleeping baby. I’m not sure how Junior sleeps through Zeus’s thunderous barks, but he does.

  I tiptoe to the peephole and peer through. I don’t know the man on the other side of the door, but I can tell he’s bad. There a two tattoos on h
is face and another creeping down his neck. I can’t see much else. I don’t need to. Exit plan in place, I move.

  I grab my already packed and consolidated single duffle bag. Send the text already typed and waiting before smashing the phone beneath my heel. I secure Junior to my chest in the carrier and then slink out the back door.

  The abandoned lot is difficult to traverse in the dark, but Zeus leads the way well. I just need to get to the next block where my car is parked. I’m not stupid enough to leave my car in the parking lot where I’m hiding.

  “Stop running, Miss Reynolds,” a deep, rough voice halts me.

  Zeus begins growling and preparing for a fight, yanking against his leash to get at the man threatening me.

  “Turn around,” he instructs.

  I slowly comply.

  “This can go two ways. You come with me, we clear some things up and all this goes away or you fight me, your dog, your brother and that baby die. It’s your choice.”

  I can’t see his face or make out anything distinguishing. I don’t recognize his voice, though that doesn’t surprise me. He’s at least twenty feet from me and the only thing I know for certain is he’s pointing a handgun at me. I see another figure coming toward us and I know I’m dead either way. I don’t have two choices. He’s already decided my fate. My only hope is to change its trajectory.

  I take a calming breath and possibly my last before whispering, “Kill.”

  I drop the leash and sprint with everything I have in the opposite direction of Zeus. Shots ring out around me while I duck and weave. I push harder, supporting Junior’s head with my hand as I motor forward.

  A man’s screams are reverberating off the empty buildings surrounding us until I hear one more shot followed by Zeus yelping. He shot my dog. I stumble as tears instantly pour down my cheeks. Zeus.

  I reach my car and fumble with my keys as the crunch of gravel and glass gets closer. It’s more than one set of footfalls. They’re going to get me. I throw my door open and heave myself into the driver’s seat, willing my fingers to stop shaking enough to start the car.

  The back window shatters, spraying glass all over me. I’m sure I’m screaming, but I can’t quite be certain. I finally stab the key in the ignition as my door’s ripped open. I try desperately to hang onto the steering wheel as large gloved hands yank at me and the baby.

  If I can just start the car, I can get away. I try. I try so hard, but he’s stronger than I am. I feel my grip on the keys and wheel slipping. My jacket is ripping and I’ve pulled back a few nails trying to dig into the wheel. In a last ditch effort, I kick my leg out and connect with something, a bone maybe.

  The man hollers and cusses at me, but doesn’t stop wrenching me out of the car. I lean my elbow against the horn and blare it as long and loud as I can while I scream rape. I’m in the wrong neighborhood to be crying for help. There are no cars on the street and not a soul in sight.

  The passenger window bursts open followed by the door. Before I know what’s happening, a gun barrel is pressed to my head.

  “Stop,” the man whispers in a demonic voice.

  I stop.

  “Get out of the car.”

  I get out of the car.

  The man that was fighting me roughly pushes me around the trunk of my car where the man that shot Zeus meets me. The man that was yanking me out of the car is covered in bite wounds from Zeus. I wasn’t able to get my dog to inflict any pain on the man holding the gun on me. He’s bathed in light now that we’re out of the shadows of the dilapidated buildings that surround the abandoned lot. I get a good look at him. He’s well built, a little over six feet tall, covered in tattoos. His eyes look black and lifeless in the overcast afternoon and I’m sure they’re darker in the light. His head is buzzed short and as dark as his eyes. He looks like something from a horror story. My horror story.

  “I appreciate a woman with some fight in her. We’ll test that further a little later. For now, no more fighting. Do what I say or I’ll put away my gun and start using a knife. Do you understand me?” he asks calmly, leaning into my face.

  I nod once, shaking from head to toe.

  A police cruiser crests the hill five hundred yards from us and I widen my eyes at the sight. No way can they shoot me in front of cops. I try to run toward the car, only to be stopped after a few feet. I put up enough of a struggle that the car stops on the street and rolls down the window.

  “Problem here?” the cop asks blankly.

  “Yes—” I scream only to have a hand smashed across my lips causing my teeth to dig into them. I taste the coppery flavor of blood and feel impending doom.

  “Just cleaning up a mess,” devil man says glibly.

  “Move it along, Vojtech,” the cop replies in a snort and then they drive away.

  They drive away!

  I can barely draw the breath necessary to sob with the pain radiating through me. Junior is still screaming…his cries haven’t stopped. Mine won’t either.

  I wail while they load me in a van. I weep as they drive for an unknown amount of time. I bawl as Junior finally falls asleep from the exhaustion of his own hysteria. I blubber as I’m led into a basement with a bag over my head. I screech like a banshee as I’m handcuffed to a wall and the baby’s removed from my chest. I cry until I have nothing left. I have nothing left.

  O’Sullivan

  They’ve found me. Harry’s Motel. Monroe Ave. 2 tats face dragon neck

  I keep reading the text. I’ve been reading it for over two hours. I’m sitting in an emergency vet’s office reading a goddamn text message over and over.

  I was too late. All that’s left of Natasha is a barely alive Zeus, her torched car and shattered glass. She’s gone. I did this. I pushed her away and now she’s so far away I’m not certain I’ll ever get her back.

  I never quit searching over the last four days. I haven’t gone to work. I haven’t taken any client calls. I’ve done nothing but search online, in the streets, anywhere I could think of, I went. I didn’t do enough.

  Blake checked himself out of detox this morning. I knew shit was bad when we got word of that. Then Finn and I got this fucking text. I broke every driving law known to man to get to her. Too late. I was too fucking late.

  “I got a hold of Cooper. They’re comin’ home and sending in some resources for us,” Finn’s voice causes me to stop staring at the phone.

  We should have called Cooper sooner. The DCA is our best bet at this point. They don’t have to deal with red tape, budget or political restrictions.

  The door into the waiting room swings open and a man in scrubs enters the room.

  “Zeus pulled through. It’s a waiting game now,” he informs me.

  I nod and climb to my feet. I can’t do anything else here and I need to do something. I need to hit something…someone. I’m drowning. I’ve been here before and I don’t have the stomach for it again.

  Kid was kidnapped from our home over three years ago and it was unadulterated torment searching for her. We found her. My cousin Kieran found her. I need him again.

  “Yeah?” Kieran’s rough whiskey and tar voice crackles through the phone as I make my way out of the vet’s office.

  “Kieran.” My voice breaks a little as I say it.

  “Brian, what’s wrong?” His tone is menacing instantly.

  “I need your help. A woman…she’s missing. It’s my fuckin’ fault,” I stutter and struggle to get the words out.

  Kieran Delaney is the head of an organized crime family. That’s right; I’m a cop’s kid and criminal’s cousin. Kieran runs illegal fights and offers protection in Chicago. The fights I grew up having were always under the watchful eye of my older cousin.

  “Tell me,” he orders gruffly and I do.

  “Roman Vojtech,” Kieran snarls as I finish. “That motherfucker’s moved his reach almost all the way up to Chicago. Let me make some calls. I’ll be on a plane in an hour or less. Good job keepin’ the cops outta this shit. Vo
jtech’s pockets are full, cousin.”

  “Thanks, Kieran,” I mutter as Finn pulls into our driveway.

  “Chin up, Brian. I’ll be there soon.”

  With that, he hangs up.

  I plod into the house to be enveloped in Kid’s arms. She squeezes me so hard I can’t breathe.

  “We’ll find her, Sully,” she assures, releasing me. “Keep your head on straight. We can do this.”

  I try to take solace in her confidence, but I find it difficult. I’m consumed with guilt and rage. I need an outlet. I can’t sit here and do nothing but wait for our connected friends and family to show up.

  I can’t call my father or my brothers. They’re all well outside their jurisdiction here. My brothers would be on a plane with Kieran in an instant, but it could jeopardize their careers. I won’t do that to them. I’ve fucked up enough lives for one week.

  Finn drags me by the arm all the way into the office and throws me in a chair.

  “Snap out of it!” he demands.

  “I don’t know what to do,” I grumble back.

  “We’ll start lookin’ at everything I can get my hands on. We’ll find her.”

  I nod and start going through everything Finn pulls up on the computer: arrest records, complaints, known associations, meth houses, every single thing.

  I’ll find her and then I’ll beat Roman Vojtech to death with my fists. If he hurts her…I don’t know what I’ll do. But I know I won’t be an attorney anymore when I’m done and I don’t give a shit. The blackness within me will fuel me. I can do this. I will do this.

  Four hours later the doorbell rings and I stalk to the door, a mask of determination firmly in place.

  Kid meets me there with a gun shoved in the back of her jeans. I feel sorry for anyone that fucks with her right now. She’s a surgeon with that thing.

  I pull the door open to find Kieran standing there in all his cocky swagger-filled glory holding Blake by the neck.

  “Look what I found loitering by the gate,” Kieran spouts, shoving Blake across the threshold.

  Kid instantly shoves the barrel of her gun in his forehead, catching him completely off guard.