Blackness Within (The Blackness Series Book 5)

by Norma Jeanne Karlsson

  “You’re at my side always, Natasha. I don’t need to direct that. And I certainly don’t need to leave a meeting to come chase you down,” he admonishes me.

  “I’m sorry,” I mutter before removing myself from his arms only to envelope myself in my own.

  Good thing I didn’t run. I wouldn’t have made it two blocks before Roman came out. My brain is foolish and my body has this game down pat. I don’t know why I keep pushing. Sully. My brain wants his hands…his touch…No! Fuck no! I’m not going there. He’s gone and I’m here.

  Roman walks away from me again and this time I dutifully follow in his wake, careful not to slip. As we enter the low-ceilinged entryway, I see only one table with men sitting at it. Men that look almost as scary as Roman…almost. The gun brigade is massive, lining every wall of the small restaurant. What the hell is going on? I’m the only woman in here and that knowledge does nothing to ease my nerves.

  As we arrive at the head of the rectangle six-person table covered with a red and white checked tablecloth, I shrug off my trench coat. Before my fingers are through the arms, a young man in a waiter uniform is helping me and then carefully folding it over his forearm.

  “Thank you,” I say kindly.

  He doesn’t respond other than to look beyond me at Roman, then scurries away. I turn back to the table to find there’s an empty chair being held out for me by Roman. I settle myself in quickly, keeping my eyes on the wine glass in front of me.

  There’s a man to my left and Roman takes the head of the table to my right. Across the table are two other men. I don’t look at them. I don’t speak. I’m barely breathing. I feel like bait in a barrel of piranhas.

  “Gentlemen, this is my friend, Natasha Reynolds. I thought it was important for you to meet her,” Roman says.

  His friend? That classification boils my blood instantly. I’m not his damn friend. I’m his…I don’t know what. But I’m surely not his friend!

  I slowly lift my gaze and lock it with Roman’s. He’s going to do something to me. I can see it in the twitch of his jaw and the squint of his midnight eyes as he regards me impassively.

  “Natasha, I’d like you to educate the men at this table. They need to understand what lies ahead if they continue to make mistakes,” Roman states plainly.

  “Of course, Roman,” I reply quietly.

  This is really bad.

  “Convince them,” he dictates and my pulse skyrockets as bile rises to the back of my throat.

  I’m now a whore. I knew when he kissed me like that this morning it was to show me my place. Now I’m in the situation I feared awaited me. Three men Roman wants me to perform sexually with. I can’t do this. He’ll have to kill me. There’s no way I’m doing what he just asked and that will amount to a death sentence. Sweet Roman is long gone and the evil dragon is all that remains.

  “Natasha,” Roman growls.

  I’ve been staring through him since he made his demand and I’m not planning on moving. Even my traitorous body is stock-still. Then I look into his eyes and I see it. This is yet another fucking test. Will I offer strangers my body because he’s insinuated that’s what he wants? Damn him!

  I slide my chair back before sinking to my knees and crawling beneath the table. The floor is hard and cold beneath me. Damn him! I settle between Roman’s thick thighs and run my hands up his legs, stopping at his belt buckle. I unlatch it before unbuttoning and unzipping his pants.

  I take a deep breath and then I thread my hand into his boxer briefs to find him completely limp. Great…even more effort to pass my test. This is just my work now. That’s how I have to look at it. I’m debased and humiliated. I’m not even certain I’m alive anymore at this point. Is this a life?

  I’m not happy. I’m not fulfilled. I’m not proud. I’m not content. I’m not loved. I’m not taken care of. I’m nothing. I’m a shell. I’m losing more than my power. I’m losing Natasha.

  Just as I’m about to pull Roman’s flaccid dick from his pants, his dragon fingers clamp firmly around my wrist. Before I can register what’s happening, I’m being hauled from beneath the table and deposited in Roman’s open-fly lap.

  Instinctively, my arms wrap around his shoulders and I bury my head in the dragon’s face on Roman’s neck. He doesn’t hold me close. Actually, he doesn’t hold me at all. His massive forearms rest on the chair’s arms. He’s cold and unresponsive. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now, so I wait.

  “As you can see, Natasha is willing to do anything that’s requested of her. She’s mine. I can and will do anything with her as I please. Your wives, your daughters, your sisters or any other women you care for will be Natasha if you defy me again. I will take your families and pick them apart bit by bit. I’ll eliminate all of the men and then dismantle the women. I’ll crush them and then mold them into whores like Natasha here,” Roman explains.

  I wince and tremble as he speaks. I can’t stop the reaction. I’m terrified, pissed, hurt and confused. I’m so tired of being confused. This is what I should be to Roman…a whore. The sweet he shows me is to manage me. At the end of the day, I’m a tool in a garden shed the size of France for him to wield when necessary.

  I’m nothing.

  Natasha

  After Roman humiliated me and apparently made his point to the men at the table, I was dismissed. I hurried from the table to be met by the same young man that had taken my coat earlier. He slid it back on my arms and then turned a sad pained face at me before yet again scurrying away.

  The driver of a black sedan is waiting for me as I exit. He pulls the backdoor open just long enough to settle me in before climbing behind the wheel to drive me back to my prison. I can’t do this. No way. I have to get away from Roman. I’d rather take my own life than give it to him. I really have been in a deep state of denial. I’m worse than my mother at this point. Somewhere in my twisted brain I truly believed Roman wanted me and would only hurt me if I disobeyed him. Yes…that’s sick. I know that, but I found comfort in it.

  Igor drops into the passenger seat and we’re off. This is it. I’m doing this. Goodbye world. Goodbye baby Junior that I only knew a few days and still miss every second. Goodbye mom. You did your best and I love you for that. Goodbye Blake. I did this for you. Be the man I know you can be. Goodbye Sully. I’m sorry I didn’t stay in your arms and fight for the good I feel on my lips with every breath I inhale.

  Goodbye.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper.

  Igor turns to look at me as I lunge at the driver, yanking at his face and the wheel. Igor yells and grabs at me, but I’ve caught the driver off guard and the wheel is in my control. I pull as hard to the left as I can; fighting the two men off me with my free arm and both legs. When the car careens through the barricade, I welcome the free fall before we plunge into the icy racing water of the Missouri River.

  My head cracks against the window and my vision gets hazy, the blackness within me engulfing the last of the light. As the world goes dim and the frigid water pulls the car beneath the surface, I see his face. He’s pleading with me to wake up and take his hand.

  I smile and shake my head no before saying, “Goodbye, Sully.”

  O’Sullivan

  “Come on, fatty. Keep up,” I chide as my feet crunch along the asphalt.

  “Fuck you, Sully,” Kid grumbles and then sprints past me. Insults are the best way to motivate her…always have been.

  “Let’s get her,” I encourage Zeus as we speed up.

  We’re out here running for him. He needs it to get his strength back and he’s getting it back quickly. I see the determination in his face as he powers his legs and lengthens his strides.

  This dog has become our house mascot. Zeus represents the fight we’re waging to get Natasha back. A slow ass fight that’s driving me insane, but a fight nonetheless.

  Butch is in. Or as in as he’s going to be after four weeks. And now all we can do is wait and hold our breath. Eventually, Butch will find us a hol
e to work with and when he does, I’m all over it.

  I never should have goaded Kid. She’s putting more and more distance between us.

  “Slow up, Flash!” I yell.

  She flips me the bird and kicks it up another gear. Pain in the dick, that’s what she is!

  I dig deep and race after her, Zeus barking with excitement for the chase.

  “Come on, Kid,” I gasp, almost catching up with her.

  She looks back and rolls her eyes before striding away again screaming out, “Stop bein’ a pussy and grow a dick!”

  With that, I stop and dissolve into chuckles. Panting and heaving while I grab my knees, I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket.

  “Blake,” I breathe out, trying to calm down.

  “Natasha’s in the ER at Saint Luke’s. Car crash. River,” he explains without detail.

  I can hear Finn in the background growling and barking, much like Zeus, as car doors slam.

  “On our way,” I assure him before hanging up.

  I can see the shadow of Kid about to disappear over the slight rise in the road as I bellow, “Natasha’s in the ER!”

  Kid halts on a dime, pivots and furiously flies at me. I turn without waiting for her and begin my own flight toward our house. We’re a mile away. I can make it in five minutes flat. Kid can make it in less and she’s going to prove it.

  Our feet crunch and scrape as Zeus pads heavily. Kid only took about thirty seconds to catch me and now we’re pacing each other easily. We burst through the front door to be met with Kellerman and Cooper.

  I don’t stop to talk. I drop Zeus’s leash and head straight for the garage. I can get Natasha out of a hospital. No way Roman Vojtech has a major hospital on his payroll. Not even his reach is that far.

  I slide in the driver’s seat of my Mercedes and turn over the engine as Kid pops her head in the garage. I roll down the passenger window to see if she’s coming along.

  “Nicky thinks I should stay. If you can’t get her, we don’t want Vojtech seein’ my face,” she yells over the roar of the engine.

  That’s not going to be an issue, but it’s a smart plan. I nod in agreement before throwing the car in reverse and launching out of our driveway.

  In the blink of an eye, I’m rumbling at a nurse to tell me where Natasha is. It’s nowhere near fast enough, but quickly, she leads me to a sliding glass door. When I enter the room, only Blake and Finn are in the room with Natasha.

  Their eyes flick to mine as I settle on her. She’s unconscious with wires and monitors covering her. She’s breathing on her own and other than her lack of alertness, she looks completely fine. I breathe a sigh of relief before sitting in the chair seemingly waiting for me at Natasha’s side. Finn and Blake are sitting next to each other across the bed from me.

  I gently reach out and cup her tiny hand in both of mine. I bring her fingers to my mouth and brush her knuckles with my lips before holding her skin to my face. I will not fuck up this time. I swear to everything, I won’t.

  “What happened?” I murmur into her palm.

  “Don’t know much yet,” Finn responds, his bright blue eyes twinkling at my tenderness with the woman before us. “The car she was in crashed off the New Paseo Bridge into the river. It sounds like one of the men with her pulled her from the car and swam her to shore. That’s about all we know.”

  “Is she okay?”

  “In a little shock from the cold. She took a good whack on the back of the head, but just a concussion according to the doctors.”

  I nod into Natasha’s soft skin and peer across the bed at Blake.

  It’s been six weeks since I met him and he already looks like a different person. He’s filling out. His skin is almost completely healed. His grey eyes are clear and alert all the time. He’s kind and funny. I like the dude and I’m heartbroken at his features right now. He’s gutted looking at his sister. If a doctor came in the room right now and said Natasha needed a kidney, Blake would grab a scalpel and dig his out for her.

  He loves his sister. I know that love and how much that love can ache when the person you feel it for is in pain.

  Natasha’s fingers curl around mine and I gasp. Blake mirrors my gasp before whispering, “Toshy.”

  Natasha groans in response and winces as she opens her eyes. They land on Blake first and the tears flow from both of them instantly. Blake wraps his arms around his sister’s shoulders gently as they sob together. She holds her brother as best she can with one hand and when she moves to let mine go, I clamp down on her. I shouldn’t, but I do. I don’t want to let her go.

  Her head tilts to the side and she locks her tear-filled eyes with mine. I squeeze her fingers and offer her a soft smile. She squeezes me back before closing her eyes and turning her attention back to her brother.

  Blake pulls himself together and retakes his seat. He brushes Natasha’s light blonde hair from her face while they stare at each other.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whimpers.

  “No, I’m sorry,” Blake cuts her off from continuing. “We can apologize later. You need rest and we need to get you outta here. Then we’ll figure the rest of our shit out.”

  “Am I okay? What happened?” she asks the room.

  “You’ll be fine,” I assure her and she turns those beautiful pale grey eyes to me.

  “Sully—”

  “You don’t need to say anything to me. I’m a dick. I fucked up royally and I’m here to make that shit right. We’ll get you whole and then I’ll grovel at your feet. Just rest now, Grey,” I instruct tenderly.

  “Grey?” she asks with a furrowed brow and crinkled nose.

  “Your eyes,” I explain the nickname.

  Those soft grey tornadic eyes have haunted and motivated me. It’s a fitting nickname. She must like it too, based on the sweet warm smile she’s gifting me. I pull her hand back to my mouth, kiss her palm gently and remind myself there’s an audience.

  “Do you remember what happened?” Finn breaks our moment.

  I don’t complain because I want the answer to that question too.

  “It’s foggy. I remember bits and pieces. I feel like it’s my fault,” she mumbles sadly.

  “Tosh,” Blake whispers.

  “I chose to stay with Roman. I did it to save you. He was gonna kill you, Blake. I had to save you and I thought I could do it. I’m so confused,” she finishes shakily.

  “He hurt you?” Blake grinds out.

  Fuck, I don’t want to know the answer to this question. But I have to.

  “No, Roman didn’t hurt me. He just mindfucked me into craziness,” she lies.

  Natasha’s a shitty liar. I don’t push her though and neither do the guys. It’s not the time.

  “Is Roman here?” she whispers.

  “No,” Finn answers in a snap. She doesn’t need even a moment of concern and my boy knows that. Relief spreads across her face.

  “I remember your face,” she says softly.

  “Who’s face?” Blake asks for the room.

  “Yours,” she responds, turning her head toward me. “It’s the last thing I remember. You were begging me to take your hand.”

  “I’ve got you now,” I assure her confidently.

  My heart’s fluttering in my chest and my breathing is picking up pace. I don’t know what to do with that so I do the only thing I can think of.

  I climb to my feet and press my lips to hers. A gentle sweet kiss is what I intend, but Natasha works her lips against mine and fists my sweaty hoodie and I act. I lick across the seam of her succulent mouth and groan as her tongue darts into my mouth. I lap, massage, caress and drink from her. I slip my arms beneath her back, pulling her hospital gown covered body to mine as much as I can without hurting her.

  She arches into me and then lets go of my hoodie to engulf my neck with her arms. I tangle our tongues so much so that I’m shocked I’m able to release her mouth when a throat clears. I’m annoyed at the interruption until I realize Blake and Finn are
only a few feet from us and probably not appreciating the show.

  “You saved my life,” she says against my mouth.

  “You saved your life, Grey,” I respond, begrudgingly pulling away from her.

  “No, Sully, it was you. When Roman kissed me the first time, I imagined I was kissing you and he bought it. He thought I wanted him and that’s kept me alive all this time. It was you. You saved me,” she insists.

  I’ve stopped moving away from her. She imagined she was kissing me. Even after what I did to her that day in the backyard, she drew from me what she needed to stay alive.

  “Grey,” I say softly before devouring her mouth again.

  It’s shorter this time because Blake chimes in, “Quit makin’ out with my sister in front of me. I’m gettin’ nauseous.”

  Natasha snickers against my mouth as I smile and respect his request. I kiss her forehead and retake my seat, interlacing fingers with her as I do. With a grin on her lips, Natasha closes her eyes and falls into an easy sleep.

  “She’s here,” Blake says quietly.

  “She’s here,” I agree.

  We stare at each other and let the comfort of that information wash over us.

  “I’m gonna go talk to the cops that were here earlier,” Finn informs us, climbing to his feet. “Good job callin’ dibs. Don’t you dare fuck it up this time.”

  “I won’t,” I assert strongly.

  He beams a smile at me and nods.

  Once Finn leaves the room, Blake and I sit in silence watching Natasha sleep. I could watch her sleep for the rest of my life. I’m not freaked out by this realization. I’ve known it for some time. Not the sleeping part, but the rest of my life part. I won’t fuck up this time. I’ll keep her safe and at my side as long as she’ll have me. And I’ll do my damnedest to make sure it’s a lifetime.

  Natasha

  I wake up groaning in pain as a familiar voice filters into my ear, “I’ve got you.”

  My wince dies as I let the dream hang on as long as it wants.

  “That’s quite a smile, Grey,” Sully purrs.