by Lee, Tara
I slide it down and kiss her shoulder blade as I slip the material down. She dips her head forward, allowing me more access to her skin.
"So beautiful, baby," I murmur against her skin as the fabric slithers to the floor.
Her dress pools at her feet. I lift her up. She wraps her legs around me, and I guide us to the bed. She unbuttons my shirt. My tongue breaks through her lips, claiming her.
Her hands are frantic with my clothes, tearing them off. I tug the little wisps of silk and lace still on her body, bearing her completely to me.
I'm eager too, baby.
I line myself up and push inside her tight wet pussy, making us both groan.
"Fucking hell," I hiss
Each thrust grinds against her. Her hands grip my forearms as she throws her head back. I move my mouth, biting her neck just enough to make her gasp. I kiss every inch of her neck as I slam into her. She meets each thrust until we’re panting and out of breath.
Sweat drips down my back. My balls tighten, and Charli's pussy clenches as she screams out, her climax taking control of her body. I let go and roar my own release, burying my head in the crease of her neck, muffling the sound.
I'm panting hard, trying to gain some oxygen. I roll myself off Charli and kiss her cheek as we lie side by side, catching our breaths.
"Wow," she pants and laughs.
I chuckle because she's right, wow, covers it just fine.
"Damn baby, I think you broke my dick," I say, teasing her.
She shifts to her side, facing me and smirks.
"I think I can fix him."
"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure. I think he's permanently broken. That was… something else. I didn’t expect sex to be different now that we’re married. But it is. It’s a thousand times better because you’re all mine, and I’m all yours. Forever."
She rests her head on my shoulder, and I rub my nose against her then kiss her temple.
We drift in and out of sleep. I make sure I take Charli a few more times before the night is over.
20
Charli
I RUSH TO THE toilet and empty the contents of my stomach. Again.
It’s time. I need to know for sure. Digging in the bathroom cabinet, I find one of my leftover tests and promptly piss on it.
Eli and I have been back from our honeymoon a little over a week. I’ve been feeling nauseous off and on since before we got home. At first, I thought it was the food—maybe I ate too much rich food, or something was bad. But it hasn’t gone away.
Three minutes are up. With shaky fingers, I pick up the test.
Two pink lines.
I’m pregnant.
I sink to the floor and bury my face in my hands, letting the tears flow.
I know the crying fest isn’t going to solve anything. It is what it is. But I can’t help myself.
Eli is going to be ecstatic. He’s been wanting to try for another baby. It’s me who’s been the holdup. Am I ready?
What happens if I lose this baby too?
I’m not sure I can handle losing another baby. It’s too soon. I thought it would take a few months before we’d get pregnant.
Eli is at work, so I have some time to think this through. Is it too soon?
I hate that I have these thoughts. And at the same time, I am gutted that I’m not excited.
All day, I go back and forth to the bathroom just to confirm what I know. I look at the test from this morning. And I take another test. Still positive.
"Drat," I mutter out loud
How am I going to tell Eli and watch his excitement while not being excited myself?
I haven’t done anything all day because I’m worried about how I’m going to tell Eli. He’ll be hurt that I’m not excited. I don’t want to hurt him again.
"Baby?" Eli's voice booms through the house. I’m huddled on our bed crying.
"Hey, what’s wrong?" he says, rushing towards me and wrapping me in his arms. I sob even harder, my body shaking.
"Baby, talk to me," Eli begs
"I'm- I'm…" I hiccup.
Eli pulls me back from his chest, rubbing my back, comforting me.
"I-I'm pre- pregnant."
He smiles, and it makes my tears fall even harder because I knew he’d love that we’re expecting again.
"Why are you crying, baby? This is great news."
"I'm not ready."
Eli folds me in his arms again, and we sit on the bed for what seems like an eternity before he speaks, "Are you scared?"
I nod, because that's the harsh reality. I am so scared. I can’t let myself be excited because I don't want to get my hopes up only to have them crushed again.
He lets out a sigh, and he slips down in front of me.
"I'm scared too, baby. But I think we've been given a second chance. And if you’re willing, then I am too. So, I'll be here for you every step of the way, in any way you need me. I know you’re thinking the worst is going to happen again, but we need to stay positive."
I nod because he's right. He always is.
He wipes my face with his thumbs, brushing my tears away.
"I'm right here, baby. You can talk to me about anything. Okay? Your fears, anything.”
I nod.
"I think we should get you in to see a doctor and check you out. That might help relieve your fears a little."
* * *
I’m perched on the exam table swinging my legs, waiting for the doctor to come back with my test results. They took blood and urine. Eli holds my hand, but we don’t talk. We just wait.
After what feels like an eternity, a light knock sounds on the door.
“Congratulations. You’re pregnant.” The doctor has a wide smile. “Let’s do a quick scan to see how far along you are.”
Eli helps me lie back and get in position. Within a few moments, a soft whooshing sound fills the room, and a blurry image appears on the screen of the ultrasound machine.
“Hmmm. It looks like you’re nine to ten weeks,” the doctor says as he moves the wand around to capture different angles.
“Are you sure?” shock fills my voice. I was already pregnant when Eli and I actually talked about trying again. What were the odds?
“Yes. And baby looks good. No problems that I can see. How are you feeling?”
“Terrified,” I admit softly.
“That’s understandable. It’s very normal after a loss for parents to be apprehensive during their next pregnancy. And just to be on the safe side, we’re going to monitor you more frequently so that if any complications arise, not that we expect them to, but if they do, we’ll stand a better chance of catching them before they get out of hand. How does that sound?”
“Really good,” I answer, a little relieved.
By the time we leave an hour later, the doctor has lessened my fears and stress. I feel better as we drive home.
"So, how are you feeling?" Eli asks as he grabs my hand and entwines his fingers with mine. He takes his eyes off the road for a second and looks at me.
"Okay, I guess. Still a little nervous. And I know it probably won't go away until I hold our baby in my arms."
Eli kisses my palm, letting me know he’s here for me.
I’m thankful I’m the only one falling apart, because if he was too, I think we'd be doomed.
Once we pull into our driveway, Eli ushers me upstairs and runs me a bath. He commands that I relax and take it easy while he makes me some hot chocolate.
I sink into the warm water and sigh in contentment. The bath relaxes me a lot. By the time I get out, I’m a little more at ease.
Later that night, Eli cuddles with me on the couch while we watch a movie. Every now and then he kisses my head. And he never takes his hand off my stomach. A small smile forms as I take in the fact that he really isn’t going anywhere. He is in this with me one hundred percent. And even with all my fears and how crazy I’m sure I will become, he assures me he’ll be here for it all.
21
&nb
sp; Charli
SEVEN WEEKS LATER…
Today we find out the sex of our baby. Surprisingly the last few weeks have flown by. I’m still terrified.
I’m lying on the table, waiting for the doctor. Eli sits anxiously next to me, smiling at me, his hand never leaving mine. He squeezes it ever so often to remind me to relax. I’m sure I’m crushing his hand.
Finally, the door opens, and the doctor makes his way in.
"Alrighty, let's find out what we're having, shall we?"
We both nod because even though these last several weeks have been some of the scariest of my life, I’m excited to find out our baby’s sex.
He squirts the blue gel on my stomach and moves the wand around, finding my baby. My heart soars once I see our baby moving around, and when he adjusts the volume, the sound I love to hear fills the room, making my tears fall.
Thump, thump, thump.
"Nice and strong. And baby’s cooperating. She's a fighter."
"She?" Eli and I both say at the same time
The doctor smiles and says, "Yep. Congratulations, you're having a little girl. "
I cry even more because our little girl is strong, and she’s going to arrive happy and healthy. She’s coming, and we have to be ready.
22
Eli
THE MOMENT CHARLI TOLD me she was pregnant I couldn't wipe the grin off my face. And that's how the last couple of months have been. I know Charli is scared out of her mind that something will go wrong. But I can feel it in my heart, we are going to hold our little girl. She's a fighter just like her mother.
Charli is the strongest person I know. She’s been through so much in a short period of time, but she still stays strong and still has a smile on her face.
I know she’s sick of me treating her like glass, but I want her to rest and keep her feet up. But Charli has other plans. Between trying to decorate the baby's room and nesting, as she calls it, she leaves little time for relaxing.
She’s spent hours going through photos on Pinterest for decorating ideas for the nursery. I don’t get the appeal of the site, but what do I know? I’m a guy.
"You about done, baby?" I ask Charli. She looks up and smiles at me. Damn, she’s breathtaking.
"Just about. I really want to get this room perfect for our little girl."
I chuckle because she truly is adorable.
"Sweetheart, she isn't going to know what’s going on for a little while. So, you have time. Now get your butt over here, so I can give you a massage, rub your feet, and pamper you."
She shifts her laptop to the side and saunters over to me. As she wraps her arms around me, I couldn't possibly feel more loved.
Her lips gently touch mine, and it’s all I can do not to rip her clothes off and take her here in the kitchen. But I have to behave. I want her to relax. And while an orgasm or two would relax her, I can’t think with my dick. Even though he would be very happy to help her out.
Resting my hands on her hips, I make her sit down while I scoot behind her. With gentle fingers, I rub every inch of her shoulders and back. Once I’m satisfied, I move so I can get to her feet. She’s always complaining about how sore they are.
"That feels so good, " she moans with her eyes closed.
I kiss her ankles and toes, making her giggle.
"You know how amazing you are, right, baby?"
She peeks at me. The smile she gives me is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
She sits up. Her hand caresses my cheek.
"I love you," She kisses my chin.
"I love you more."
Our kiss turns into more. Before I can stop her, she straddles my lap and grinds against my very hard cock.
"Fuck, baby. This wasn't the plan," I hiss through my teeth as she bites down on my bottom lip.
She smirks against my lips then wiggles again, making my cock twitch in my pants.
"Fuck," I groan.
I help her pull my cock out. Then I slide her panties to the side. Thank God, she’s wearing a skirt. With a single thrust, I fill her. The tightness makes my cock spasm. She’s so much tighter now. Her pussy feels like a vice, squeezing me.
She rides my cock at her speed. I grip her waist, helping her keep the pace up.
Her head rests on my shoulder as we both pant. I hiss in her ear as she bites down on my shoulder.
As my pleasure rises, I yank her head back, taking her lips between my teeth. I bite down hard on her bottom lip, making her whimper.
She bounces up and down on my cock, riding me faster. I continue to nibble her lips, shoulder, and neck, making her moan.
"Eli, oh God," She whimpers.
My fingers flex against her hip, gripping her hard. I keep my other hand behind her neck, keeping it exposed to me. My teeth clamp down hard, sucking, licking, and tasting her as she explodes around me, screaming my name for anyone to hear.
I follow behind her, grunting and hissing as I fill her soaked pussy with my seed.
We slow down, catching our breaths.
With her head leaning on my shoulder, she starts to giggle.
I tug her head back, kissing her lips and nose.
"What’s so funny, baby?"
"Nothing. I just can't believe how amazing that was. "
I chuckle and brush the hair from her face.
"With you, everything is amazing."
And it is. Everything with Charli is beyond what I ever deserved. Those moments when I thought we'd never have this and those moments when I thought we’d lost this forever, truly helped me see that Charli is my soulmate. Nothing in this world matters more to me than her. She’ll always be my first love, my happiness.
I wasted time when we were younger, but not anymore. I want Charli to have the life she’s always deserved.
The life only I can give her because she’s my wife, my best friend, my soulmate, and my one true love.
* * *
Today we’re going to our therapy session. Dr. Green doesn’t know we’re pregnant yet. But today we’re going to tell her. Charli’s only just starting to show in a way that can’t be easily hidden with baggy clothes.
Once she calls us in, she doesn’t waste any time getting straight into things.
"So…" she says with a grin. "How are you both doing?
“We’re good,” I say, grinning like a fool.
“Are you still making an effort to do something special for each other every day?”
“We are,” Charli chimes in. She smiles at me as I take her hand in mine and kiss her palm.
“I’m so happy about that. I can’t tell you two how pleased I am at your progress over the months since you started coming to me. At your first appointment, you were barely holding hands anymore.”
“We are getting back to the old Eli and Charli. Thank you for helping us with that,” I tell her.
“You are very welcome.”
"I'm pregnant," Charli blurts out, smiling.
"Oh, that's wonderful news," Dr. Green gushes. "Was it a surprise?"
We both laugh.
"Sure was," I say, glancing over at Charli, who can't keep the smile off her face.
"Well, I couldn't be happier for you both. You truly deserve this. I know it's probably really scary for you, especially after what happened. But I can honestly say it seems fate has taken the reins and given you guys a second chance. You’re getting your rainbow baby."
“Rainbow baby?” I ask.
“The loss of a child is a storm, a tragedy. A baby born after the storm of loss is called a rainbow baby. Because you can’t have the beauty of a rainbow without the darkness of the storm.”
Charli and I both nod, knowing just what she means. Even if Charli wasn't so happy about it to start with, and she was scared out of her mind, she's excited now about becoming a mother again.
The rest of our session is spent mostly talking about our upcoming arrival, how best to prepare for it, how to handle our fears, and what our plans for the future are.
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* * *
Once we’re home, Charli takes a nap and I read up on all things baby. I want to be as prepared as I possibly can be. If there’s even the slightest change in Charli, I want to know about it and what to expect.
Deep down, I know she's panicking. She may seem as cool as a cucumber, but I know she's thinking the worst is going to happen.
I just hope time passes quickly, so we can get our little bundle of joy here safely. Then make two into three, and maybe down the road add a few more pitter patters of feet.
23
Charli
TWENTY WEEKS LATER…
Today’s the day. We get to meet our little girl today. Though I’m having a planned C-section at thirty-six weeks because of what happened with Harley, Eli is still running around in a panic, making sure I have everything I need.
By the time they get me prepped, the nerves are settling in. I’m scared. The last time I had this surgery, it ended tragically. I try to hold it together though and be tough.
A masked doctor breezes into the surgical suite, with a suited-up Eli right behind her. “Hello, Charli. My name is Dr. Terri, and I’ll be delivering your little girl. Are you ready?” she asks, glancing from me to Eli.
We both nod. Eli’s sweating and breathing heavy like he’s in labor. I’d laugh at him if I wasn’t terrified out of my mind.
“Can you feel this?”
I shake my head no. “How about this?” Again, I shake my head no.
“That’s good. Means the meds are working, and it’s time to meet your baby girl. You’re going to feel some pressure, like you’re being unzipped. But you shouldn’t feel any pain. Okay?”
I nod. Eli sits next to my head and grips my hand. I’m trying not to throw up.