Billion Dollar Man

by Ali Parker

  “Thank you, honey,” my mom said when we were in the kitchen, groceries on all the countertops.

  “Let me help you put it away,” I said and started unpacking everything into the pantry.

  “You don’t have to,” my mom said.

  I nodded, but I still carried on. I had to do something with my hands or I was going to go mad.

  “Did you have a good afternoon?” my mom asked.

  “It was nothing special,” I said.

  “You look a bit down in the mouth. Are you alright?”

  “I’ll be okay,” I said, packing away bottles of soda. “I’m just under a bit of pressure right now.”

  “Maybe you should phone Jerrod, see if he wants to go out tonight,” my mom suggested. “It will help you take your mind off things.”

  God that would be the worst idea, ever.

  “I don’t think so. I’m sure Jerrod is working tonight.”

  My mom nodded. “If you need something, let me know. Paul and I aren’t young and spritely like your friends, but we can go out if you like. Maybe to dinner or something.”

  I smiled at my mom. “That would be nice.”

  My mom smiled, surprised that I had taken her up on her offer.

  “I’ll see what Paul says,” my mom said and left the kitchen. I sighed and carried on putting the groceries away. Spending time with my mom and Paul was as good as anything at this point. I had to get my mind off what had happened this afternoon, somehow.

  I flashed on Jerrod again. He had looked so distant and switched off. I can’t even look at you. Was this the end?

  A pang shot through my chest when I thought it. I didn’t want to lose Jerrod as a friend. He had been there for me through everything. I had never known a life without him and to imagine that he wouldn’t be there hurt like a bitch. Jerrod was like my brother, and I wanted him in my life. Our friendship had stood the test of time. I felt guilty that something as simple as a woman would get between us. It had never been a problem before.

  But Mila was Jerrod’s sister. And she wasn’t just any woman. Maybe, if it had been someone else, I wouldn’t have struggled with the idea to give her up for the sake of my friendship with Jerrod. But I couldn’t give Mila up without thinking about it twice. I had never felt like this before, and I wanted to explore it. I wanted to know where this could go.

  I just hadn’t considered what it would mean if it went somewhere that my friendship with Jerrod couldn’t follow.

  But would I be able to have Jerrod and Mila? Or would I have to choose? Jerrod was my best friend. But Mila had become equally important to me in a very short time, and I couldn’t deny what I felt for her.

  How was I supposed to choose?

  Chapter 37

  Mila

  On Thursday, I finally had a day off again. Even though my days off were still as often as they used to be, it felt a lot longer between them with all the double shifts I was working. At least, the ward was calming down. Most of the accident patients could be moved to regular recovery rooms and beds were emptying in the ICU. It was always good news when we had less work because it meant that people were getting better.

  Or passing away, but that wasn’t the case, here.

  My phone rang. It was Danielle. I smiled and answered.

  “Are you off today?” Danielle asked.

  “Yes. I really need this break.”

  “I hear you,” Danielle said. “It’s dull without you, though,” she said.

  I told her I would be back tomorrow, and we ended the call. Danielle and I had been getting closer over the past week. She was a sweet girl, eager to learn, and her compassion was staggering. But she was young, and she struggled under the pressure sometimes. She was a little squeamish when it came to blood and puss, which was never a good idea in a hospital, but she wasn’t afraid to work hard. She would get used to what it was like dealing with patients. I wanted her to. I wanted her to succeed because it had always been her dream and I knew what that felt like.

  On Tuesday, Jessica Wright had finally woken up. I had been in the room with her mother and father, trying to explain to them that she was still safe, that she could still wake up, and that nothing was wrong.

  “What the hell do you know about what’s going on in her head or if anything is left of her mind at all?” Mrs. Wright had shouted.

  Mr. Wright had tried to calm his wife down but to no avail. It had been a particularly bad day for her.

  “Ma’am, we are doing everything we can for your daughter,” I’d said calmly, even though I had felt a combination between rage and tears coming on. Mrs. Wright had been screaming and shouting at me for so long because Jessica was still in her coma.

  “Don’t you say that!” Mrs. Wright had shouted.

  “Mom, what are you shouting about, now?” Jessica had asked from the bed, her tone as irritated as any teenager was with a whining mother.

  We had all spun around, and Jessica had sat up in the bed, bright and fresh as if she had just woken up from a nap. At least, as bright and fresh as she could have looked with a broken nose. The bruises under eyes had turned an ugly yellow, and she still wore the brace on her nose.

  I had checked her vitals while Mr. and Mrs. Wright had fussed about their daughter, not even angry that her first words to them in weeks had been spoken with attitude. It was a perfect example of priorities. Sometimes, unruly teenagers weren’t so bad if coma and death were the alternatives.

  After I had run through a few tests with Jessica to ensure she was alright, I had left Mr. and Mrs. Wright alone with their daughter, promising that Dr. Nash would do his rounds soon.

  I was relieved that Jessica had finally woken up. I had started to worry for her parents’ sake. I had been scared that something had gone wrong after all, that she wasn’t just taking her time. I was glad that everything I had said to Mr. and Mrs. Wright had been accurate, in the end.

  Before I had left the hospital yesterday, I found out that Jessica would be moved to a regular recovery room now that she was awake and everything seemed to be fine. I was happy for the Wrights. They had made it through the terrible ordeal without losing Jessica along the way.

  Despite all the things that had gone so well this week, there had been a lot of questions. I hadn’t heard from Jerrod at all. He’d left my apartment in a mood that scared me. When Jerrod looked like he’d given up on someone, he usually had. And I didn’t want to be someone he’d given up on. He was my brother, and losing him would be worse than any of the loss I had seen during my work as a nurse.

  I called Ben.

  “Have you heard anything from Jerrod?” I asked after we’d checked in with each other about how we were doing. Ben was always available now that he was back from New York. He hadn’t started a job again with the fire station. I had found that strange at first if he was back to build a life here. Because that was what I thought he was doing. But Ben had more than enough money to do nothing all day, so there wasn’t a reason for him to start working immediately. I liked that I could phone him whenever I wanted, and he would be there for me.

  “I haven’t,” Ben said.

  “Yeah, neither have I.” My heart sank. I’d hoped Ben and Jerrod would have spoken by now so that we could know where we stood with him.

  “How about we go grab some coffee?” Ben asked. “Then we can talk about this.”

  I didn’t know what else there was to say about it, but I agreed because seeing Ben was what I needed right then.

  We met at a coffee shop an hour later. Ben pulled me against him and kissed me. It was strange to do it in public like this, but now that Jerrod knew, there wasn’t any point in hiding what we were doing. I liked that Ben showed what he felt for me in front of everyone else.

  I was still smiling when we sat down. We ordered coffee.

  “So, what are we going to do about this? Is he not talking to you at all?” I asked, my happiness about seeing Ben slowly fading back into the worry I’d been harboring.

&nbs
p; “It’s not quite like that,” Ben said.

  I frowned. “Then what is it like?”

  “Jerrod asked me to meet him. He confronted me about us sleeping together, about your age, and he suggested that I’m just using you.”

  My mouth dropped in surprise. “That’s ridiculous. I can’t believe he still sees me as a kid.”

  “I guess I can’t blame him. If you were my sister, I would have wanted to protect you from the world, too.”

  I shook my head. “He can protect me without stopping me from living my life. So, was he pissed off?”

  “Yeah, he was. He has this ‘I-don’t-care’ attitude that scares me.”

  I sighed. “He had the same with me. What if he’s done with us?”

  “I don’t know,” Ben said, and he looked as depressed about it as I felt. Jerrod had been like a brother to him, too. I knew that it was as much of a loss to Ben as it was to me. I thought about something and frowned.

  “When was this?” I asked. “When did he talk to you?”

  “On Monday.”

  “That was three days ago. Why didn’t you tell me about this?” I had called Ben the moment Jerrod had left my apartment. Why was he keeping it from me?

  “I didn’t know how to tell you. It wasn’t a good conversation at all, and after how upset you were about your conversation with him, I didn’t know how to talk to you about it. I should have, but I’ve been sitting on this, feeling like shit about what we did to him.”

  I nodded. Our coffee arrived, and we waited for the waitress to leave again before we continued talking.

  “Thank you for telling me,” I said. I was upset that Jerrod wasn’t talking to either of us, but I wasn’t upset with Ben for keeping it from me. I understood why he had done it.

  “What are we going to do?” I asked again.

  Ben shook his head. “I don’t know. I wish it were simpler, that I could just be with you without worrying about losing him.”

  I reached across the table and put my hand on Ben’s. He took my hand in his and squeezed lightly.

  “We’ll figure it out,” I said.

  Ben nodded and let go of my hand. He ripped the corner off a sugar packet and poured it into his coffee. Stirring, Ben felt like he was miles away from me.

  “What’s on your mind?” I asked.

  “Nothing,” Ben said. “I’m just trying to figure out how this all fits together.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  Ben looked around the coffee shop. “I don’t know how well I fit into this life,” he said without making eye contact with me.

  “What do you mean, this life? Do you mean here in Portland?”

  Ben nodded and finally looked at me.

  “I don’t get it,” I said. “You grew up here. Aside from the seven years in New York, this is the life you fit in from the start.”

  Ben pulled up his shoulders. “I know, but so much has happened since then. My dad passed away and left me his legacy. I tried to get out of it, but it’s happened again, this time with Uncle Dean. Maybe I should stop trying to run away from it and take it for what it is.”

  I narrowed my eyes at Ben. “What are you trying to say?”

  “I wonder if I should go back to New York and take over the company for good, make my life, there.”

  “Are you being serious?” I asked. I couldn’t believe he was doing this to me.

  “Yeah,” Ben said. “I am.” He rested his blue eyes on me, and they were serious, resolute. My chest suddenly ached.

  “What about me?” I asked.

  Ben didn’t answer me. That was an answer in itself, wasn’t it? Ben knew that I would never come to New York. I had a life here, a career. I wasn’t going to pack everything up and leave. Ben didn’t even know what he wanted half the time, that he was back in Portland only proved that.

  “So, you’re going to risk losing all of this for the sake of going back to New York to do a job you told me you hated?”

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “Explain to me why it’s not that simple. Why can’t you just decide what you want to do and stick to it?”

  Ben shook his head. He didn’t answer me. He didn’t say anything at all. I couldn’t believe he was doing this to me. Just when I thought everything was going to be okay, when I thought Ben was here for me, he was ripping it all away again from me.

  “You told me you were going to stay,” I said.

  “Did I?”

  I wanted to fight with him, but his question made me think about what exactly he had said. He had promised me here and now. He hadn’t promised me any kind of future.

  “I can’t believe this,” I said, running my hands through my hair, pressing them against my cheek. I felt hot as if I had a fever.

  “I’m just trying to figure out what I need to do,” Ben said apologetically.

  “Of course,” I said. I felt something inside me switch off, and I knew I had the same capacity to not care that Jerrod had. Well, wasn’t that a happy coincidence. “Well, you let me know when you’re leaving so that this time, I have a chance to say goodbye, at least.”

  I picked up my bag and walked away from Ben, leaving him with my half-cup of coffee and the bill. He had more than enough money to get the bill, I was sure. And he could always go back to New York and make some more money with his shiny company.

  That was what was important to him, after all. Not me, not what we had between us. Not the future he led me to believe in. Apparently, none of that mattered.

  Another pain shot through my chest. Maybe, this was what a broken heart felt like.

  Chapter 38

  Ben

  Did I feel like shit for what I did to Mila? Yes, I did. When I had said to her that I was trying to figure out if I belonged in this life, I meant it. Not because I had wanted her to think that she wasn’t important to me, but that was how it had come across.

  I had had so much on my mind when I had met her for coffee. And I guess that was my fault. I should have pushed it away. But I had been having a bad day. My father and Uncle Dean had died, and it turned out it might have been for a reason, and not just an accident. I had no idea where I was going with the company that had been left to me. Twice. I had no idea who I was supposed to be. Was I going to be the man my dad and Uncle Dean wanted me to be? Or the man that turned them down, even after everything that had happened?

  And what about Jerrod? If I stayed with Mila, I was sure I would lose him. But if I said goodbye to Mila to keep Jerrod in my life, I felt like I would lose a piece of myself. So, maybe going back to New York was the best way to handle things. In a way, I would still lose Mila and Jerrod, but it would be different. At least, I hoped it would. And I would do what my dad and Uncle Dean wanted me to do by leaving me the company in their will.

  My phone rang, and when I answered, it was David Thomas, my PI.

  “I’ve been keeping an eye on the guys your father fired. The men with the ties to the Mafia specifically. I had a feeling that if anyone was after your dad, it would be them.”

  “Did you find anything out?” I asked.

  “Yeah, quite a bit. Your dad owed them a lot of money. The man he fired is Donny Pirelli’s right-hand man, Victor Brantley.”

  I shivered. Everyone knew Donny Pirelli. The man was a notorious gangster with an operation in New York that you had to be crazy to get involved in. He shot first and asked questions, never.

  “That’s bad news,” I said. “At least it’s not Pirelli himself.”

  “It’s almost the same thing. Pirelli and Brantley are joined at the hip when it comes to their business operations.”

  I shook my head. What the hell had my dad been up to?

  “Do you think he was involved with the Mafia?” I asked. If my dad had been involved with the Mafia, he would have had a life I had known nothing about. But that wouldn’t have been so hard. He had lived on the other side of the country from me, and I had barely seen him.

  “I don’t kn
ow. It seems more like a business deal gone wrong than ties with them.”

  Even though there was no proof, it was better than thinking my dad had been a criminal of sorts.

  “There’s a history of threats,” David said.

  “How do you know? Where did you find out about this?”

  “I had a skim through the company records. I assumed that was alright, considering.”

  “Yeah,” I said, not bothering to feel invaded because David had gone into things that were meant to be confidential. I trusted him to do what needed to be done to find out what was going on. If it turned out he leaked something, I could always sue him and have his PI business closed.

  “It all started the year before your father died,” David said. “Even though he was being threatened, he didn’t seem to think it was important to give them the money he owed. He fired the guy and refused to make good on the money.”

  I didn’t understand why my dad would have done that. Surely, if he owed money, the right thing would have been to pay it. I wished I could go back and ask him what he was thinking, what was going on. But he was dead, and there were certain things I had to accept I would never find out.

  “What did they threaten him with?” I asked.

  “Oh, several things. Finding him and making his life hell. Ruining his business. Increasing the amount. Things like that. When none of those worked, they threatened that they would come after everyone he cared about if he wouldn’t pay.”

  I closed my eyes. “They killed him.”

  “He called their bluff because they hadn’t done the other things. At least, they hadn’t succeeded if they’d tried. Except, they hadn’t been bluffing.”

  I was suddenly furious. Furious and sick to my stomach. To think I’d been working in the same city for seven years as the people who had killed my father and hadn’t know it, made me want to throw up.

  “They killed Uncle Dean, too?”

  “Everyone he ever cared about.”