by Ali Parker
After spending a little time with Ted, catching up on how everyone was doing and sharing the bits of my life I was willing to talk about, I headed back home. I was sad to leave the station, to leave behind a career that would have made me infinitely happy.
When I arrived home, my mom was watching television.
“I’m home,” I said. My mom didn’t even look up. She was glued to the screen, her face twisted with worry.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, walking to her so I could see the screen, too.
The news was on and the topic was my company. Someone had found out about the kidnapping, and it had leaked out onto the news. My mom pressed her hands to her mouth.
“They’re talking about your father like he was a criminal,” she said, looking like she was going to cry. “Can they not let him rest in peace?”
I sat down next to her and hugged her to me. The truth was that they were right about my dad and everything he’d done. How the hell had they found out everything that had been going on? Aside from the mafia, who wouldn’t leak, and the police who weren’t allowed to, no one else knew about what had happened.
Except for David and his people.
I was suddenly furious, but I couldn’t react in front of my mom. So, I rubbed her arm and hugged her and told her that I would take care of it.
“It’s just rumors. You know how the media is.”
I would eventually tell her the truth, but for now, I had to do damage control. Again.
When I walked to my room, I called David.
“Tell me what I want to hear,” I said coldly.
“It wasn’t me,” David said.
“Are you sure? It's easy to make a quick buck when you can leak a story like that.”
“I make more money working for you than I ever will leaking private information to the press. But it could be one of my guys – I’m not going to lie to you. I’ll figure it out and take care of it.”
“Whatever you do, it’s not going to change that it’s all over the news, now.”
“I’m sorry, Ben. I’ll do what I can.”
I hung up. There was nothing I could do about this, and I had nothing left to say to David. I had trusted him with everything and look at what happened. It didn’t matter what happened now, it was already too late. It was all over the news. As if things weren’t bad enough already.
If the company went under because of this, I needed to figure out how I was going to pay the mafia the money they were owed. I had to do something before it was too late.
I just had no idea what.
Chapter 56
Mila
On Monday, I planned to go back to work. I had the afternoon shift so I had my morning free. I was with Skylar because I didn’t want to be alone. Last night had been the first night alone in my apartment. It hadn’t been nearly as bad as I’d thought it would be, but I hadn’t been taken from my apartment when I had been kidnapped.
I had been taken from the hospital. Which was where I was going, next.
When I had come back home, I had convinced myself that I was over it all, that I would be able to deal with it without any help from a therapist for the trauma. Maybe I had been hasty in my decision to be a big girl. The truth was I was scared.
“It’s going to be okay,” Skylar said. “I’ll drop you off and pick you up again after your shift tomorrow morning.”
“I’m finishing very early.”
“I don’t mind. I know you need this, and I’d rather have you safe.”
Skylar was being a good friend through all of this. We were in my living room, drinking coffee and eating grilled cheese sandwiches so that I didn’t have to buy so much food in the cafeteria.
“Have you spoken to him yet?” Skylar asked.
I knew she was talking about Ben. And I knew she was talking about being pregnant.
I shook my head. “I haven’t spoken to him since we came back to Portland. I don’t even know what to say to him to make small talk, never mind how to break news like this to him.”
Ben and I had had a wonderful time in New York. A time that had been very surreal and unrealistic to assume would carry on. Ben was going back there, after all. He wasn’t here to stay, which meant that whatever had happened between us when we’d been alone in his penthouse hadn’t been serious. Even though it had felt serious.
But that was just my leftover feelings for him. After we had broken up, it was hard to let go of everything I had felt for him. I didn’t want to think about what he did or didn’t feel for me. And I definitely didn’t want to make it seem like I was desperate to have him in my life now that I was pregnant.
“You have to tell him at some point,” Skylar said. “He deserves to know.”
“He’s leaving, soon.”
“So? He’s still the dad. No matter where he is in the world, that’s not going to change.”
I sighed. “I need more time, Sky. I can’t just throw it out there. I can’t handle the stress.” I had been through so much recently, having to deal with the panic of how he would react seemed like a mountain far too steep to climb right now. I was still trying to recover from a breakup, followed by mind-blowing sex and a rescue mission that made Ben seem like my hero. I had to recover from being kidnapped, from losing my brother and from integrating into my schedule again as if none of this had happened.
“I heard that he’s not going back to NY right away,” Skylar said.
I nodded. “I heard that too.” My mom had told me that Mary, Ben’s mom, had told her he was staying for at least another week. I didn’t know why he was doing this – he had reassured me he was only coming back to check in with his mom. To stay another week was pointless. Unless he was here to make me feel unsure because that was what was happening. This town wasn’t big enough for the two of us.
“The longer you take to tell him, the worse it’s going to be,” Skylar said.
I nodded. “I know. But it’s pretty bad already. I know I’ll be further along if I tell him further down the line, but pregnant is pregnant. It’s not like I can be in a worse state than I already am.”
Skylar shook her head. “You’re making it sound like it’s the end of the world.”
“Isn’t it?”
Skylar looked at me like I was being melodramatic. And maybe I was. But it was all too much to handle. I wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep until this was all over. Except, it wasn’t going to go away by itself.
“Let me handle the first shift back at work before I think about handling anything else,” I said. “I’m still nervous about going.”
“As soon as you’re inside, it’s going to be okay,” Skylar said.
I nodded. It was true, I would feel safe once I was inside. But I wasn’t sure that it would all be okay. I didn’t want everyone to fuss over me, and I didn’t want a lot of questions, either. I wanted to carry on as if nothing had happened, as if nothing had changed.
Unfortunately, none of that was going to happen. No matter how much I wanted it, nothing was going to go back to how it was before all of this happened. To how it was before Ben had walked back into my life.
“After I deal with this week, I’ll talk to him,” I said. “Maybe on Friday.”
“There can’t be a maybe, Mila,” Skylar said. “You need to take care of this.”
I groaned. Skylar was just trying to be nice, I knew that. She was trying to help. But I felt like she was pushing me to do something I didn’t want to do, and she wasn’t respecting my wishes or how I was feeling about everything that had happened. How would she have felt if it had all happened to her? I was getting upset because she told me that she felt for me, but she had no idea what I felt like.
“Just let it go, okay?” I said.
“I can let it go, but that is not going to make it all go away, either. If you just ignore the problem, it’s still going to be there.”
I was starting to get pissed off. I felt like the four walls of the room were closing in on me. My skin was h
ot as if on fire. I had never gotten angry this quickly, but I was about at the end of my line, here.
“I asked you to let it go, Sky,” I snapped. “Stop pushing me, okay? It’s not your life, it’s mine. And no matter what you think, I can still make my own decisions. I’ve just been to hell and back, and you’re not making this shit any easier.”
Skylar’s eyes widened as I spoke and by the time I finished my little speech, she was angry, too.
“You were the one that said you didn’t know what to do. You asked me for my advice so don’t have a shit fit when I give it to you. But you’re right, it’s not my life. I’ve just been involved in your shit for years because it’s what friends do. So, you can push me away all you like, but I didn’t do any of this to you.”
“Stop it,” I shouted at Skylar.
“No. I’m not going to stop. I didn’t break your heart, and I didn’t kidnap you, and I didn’t knock you up. So if you want to shout at someone because your life is so fucking unfair, shout at Ben. He’s the common denominator in all of this, isn’t he?”
She was right. I hated that she was right because all of this was because of Ben somehow. He was the problem. And we weren’t together. And despite everything, no matter how much I told myself that it was fine, he didn’t even want to be with me after all of this.
“I just want a break,” I said. I wasn’t as angry as I had been. But Skylar was still on that level.
“Yeah? Well, you’re not going to get that from me. You don’t get to cry on my shoulder and then expect me not to try and help you. If you want a pity party, you’re on your own. Find your own fucking ride to work.”
Skylar walked toward the front door.
“Sky, don’t leave,” I said.
Skylar spun around. “You can’t have it both ways. I’m not going to stay just so that I can deal with your shit. It’s one or the other. I wish you would be as forgiving to me as you are to Ben.”
She left my apartment, slamming the door behind her. I was left in the empty apartment, the silence wrapping around me like a blanket, threatening to suffocate me.
Skylar was right, of course. I hated admitting it, but she was right. Ben hurt me over and over again and I always ran back to him. But I was a bitch to the friend that had always been there for me and tried to give me advice when I was in a mess that I didn’t see a way out of.
I lay back on the couch and closed my eyes. This was one big mess.
I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes again, it was much later. I jolted upright and looked at the time. At least I wasn’t late for work yet. I ran to the bedroom and got dressed, ran a brush through my hair and made sure the cut on my face wasn’t too prominent. It was only pink skin, now. The wound had healed enough that I knew I could put on makeup without causing a scar. I patched up my face so that there would be fewer questions. I didn’t want everyone to talk to me about what had happened.
What I really wanted was for everyone to forget that I had been missing at all, that they would have some kind of memory loss and wouldn’t know I had been gone.
Before my shift, I caught a cab to my parents’ place. My dad had gone to pick up my car for me, and it was there. I was relieved he had handled it for me.
When I knocked on the door, Jerrod opened. I was surprised to see him. I hadn’t seen him since I had come back. I had been convinced that despite what had happened to me, he hadn’t wanted to see me at all.
“Hey, sis,” he said in a gentle voice.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. My voice cracked on the last word, and I started crying even though I hadn’t meant to.
“I’m here because I’m an ass, and I realized it a little late.” He wrapped his arms around me. I shuddered against him. I had thought I would never see my brother again.
“I’m sorry,” I said, wiping my tears away, feeling like an idiot for crying.
“No, I’m sorry,” Jerrod said. “I shouldn’t have stopped talking to you like that.”
I nodded. When my tears were dry, my brother asked me how I was doing. I gave him an update. I told him I was fine. The concussion had healed, and he couldn’t see the cut until I pointed it out under the makeup.
“What’s still bothering you?” Jerrod asked after I had told him everything.
I shook my head. “I just need to move on, now.”
“But something is still wrong,” he said.
My brother knew me so well. I had thought I acted normal, but he could see right through me.
“I guess it was just the stress that we’re not okay,” I said.
Jerrod narrowed his eyes at me, but he nodded. I knew he didn’t believe me. I wanted to tell him so badly. I wanted to tell him I was pregnant so that at least one person in my family knew why I was freaking out so much, that I was everything but okay.
But if I told Jerrod, he would know who the father was. And I had just gotten him back. I couldn’t afford to lose him again.
Chapter 57
Ben
On Tuesday, the Investors wanted to talk. A handful of wealthy people were invested in my company, pumping in money when we needed it. Their returns were worth their while, and I had always had a good working relationship with them, despite how many times the company had changed hands.
Everything was up in the air, now. They weren’t as happy with me as they were before. Now that everything had come out on the news, they weren’t happy at all.
“How credible are these rumors about the mafia?” one of them asked.
“We’re losing money over this,” another said. “It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. It’s affected the company horribly.”
“Gentleman,” I said, stopping the conversation. “I know you’re worried. You have every right to be.”
“How are we to know what’s going on?” another one of them said before I could say anything else. “You just took off without an explanation.”
“Nothing like this ever happened while Lambert was involved. This looks bad for all of us.”
When he talked about Uncle Dean, my stomach dropped. They were right, nothing like this had happened while Uncle Dean was around, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t been there, hidden behind mountains of paperwork. Maybe Uncle Dean had known about this, after all. I would never know.
“I know where the story came from,” I tried again. “And I can assure you that the problem will be taken care of. There hasn’t been anything in the news before, our company has always had a good name. An isolated incident like this will blow over in due time.”
“Can you tell us that it will be isolated? How can you be so sure?”
Because I was going to do everything I could to make sure nothing like this happened ever again. I didn’t need more drama with Brantley, and I wasn’t going to trust David with anything anymore, either. As soon as this was taken care of, he would be lucky if I didn’t sue him for everything he had, purely because the information had been classified. I’d trusted him.
“How are we going to repair the damage?” one of the investors asked. “We can’t afford to lose more money. It’s imperative that we bounce back to where we were in the shortest time.
“I suggest we do a press conference denying what happened. We can point out that the confusion was because Victor Brantley worked for us.”
“Is that where this came from?”
“It is.”
Brantley’s employment was public record. We could make up a story about someone being upset about being let go or something – for a good reason, of course – and they were trying to make us look bad. I was sure we could figure something out. And like I had said to the investors, if nothing else went wrong, it would blow over eventually. We could even point that out at the press conference. The company had never been in the news for anything bad, and an isolated incident could happen to anyone.
I managed to appease the investors, but while I was doing it, I had no idea why. What was I even fighting for? The company h
ad turned out to be such an omen where I had thought my father had left me something special. It had turned out that he had given me a rotten apple that was shiny on the outside, but it was fucked up inside. I resented him for that, I realized.
And if Uncle Dean knew, he was as bad as my father in some ways. I wasn’t ready to believe that just yet, but it wasn’t impossible. Apparently, I had known very little about everyone in my life.
Saving the company that had caused so much trouble for me seemed like a waste of my time, but I knew that if I took care of business, it would keep Mila and everyone else here in Portland safe. And that was what I wanted. I had to take care of my people, and if this was the way to do it, so be it.
I had to go back to New York to make this all go away. I knew that. I was leaving, again. I was always leaving Portland. I hated it, but this time, Mila knew that I was going to go again. We hadn’t even talked since we had arrived, so I wasn’t going to be an asshole for the third time.
“I am coming back to New York next week,” I said. “I had to take care of personal business, but I can guarantee that we’ll take care of this and it will be as if this had never happened.”
The investors were still skeptical, but they seemed to calm down when I told them I was coming back. With me back in New York, everything was going to settle down. Then my family and friends here would be safe.
“Can you honestly tell us that this will work out in the end?” an investor asked.
“I’m willing to stake my company on it.”
It wasn’t exactly the guarantee they took it as. The truth was that I wasn’t nearly as upset at the prospect of losing my company the way I had been before. But they were happy, and they finally ended the call.
When I got off the phone, I was drained. The shit with this company was just never-ending. When it had been all about business, I hadn’t minded it so much, but it had bled over into my personal life, and I hated that.