Rules of Engagement

by Lily White

  Assuming I could still run to Trevor, I convinced myself that regardless of what happened, I wouldn’t be forced to leave to city to return home to a father who would smile to know I’d failed.

  After parking, I strutted my stuff to the office, ascended the stairs and walked through the door with exactly thirty seconds to spare. As usual, the tablet sat in the middle of the reception desk. Typing out my message, I watched the seconds tick down and hit the send button exactly at eight.

  I’m here.

  A minute passed, then a second minute. A third, and then, Damn. I have nothing to criticize you about.

  Smiling to myself, I flicked a glance up at his hidden cameras, wherever they were. I’ve learned how to play the game, Donovan. May I please get to work now?

  Satisfied with my not-so-hidden reference to the Dark Realities game we’d been playing, I smiled again. I was getting as good as him at running this stupid maze.

  It took three seconds for his response. We need to talk.

  Yes. Yes, we did need to talk and I also needed to come up with a plan to convince him to handwrite a note for me so that I could compare the writing to my stalker’s when I returned home. You’re right. We do. Will you—

  Before I could finish typing, the door opened, a beautiful man with bruised eyes walking through. Donovan leaned against the wood, his gaze shadowed and his hair messy, as if he’d been running his hands through it all night. He looked like he hadn’t slept all night, like he’d been up watching another person sleep.

  “You look like hell,” I teased, even if the words were sadly true.

  Rather than reacting, Donovan inclined his head toward the back office. By the weak set of his shoulders and the heaviness of his eyelids, I could tell he’d gotten little rest the night before.

  Without saying another word, I stepped past him through the door, not looking at him again until I was seated in front of his desk and he settled in the chair behind it.

  When he didn’t sign immediately, I prodded the conversation along. “What would you like to talk about?”

  Us. You. Your job here.

  “Am I fired?”

  His lips pulled into a line, the skin wrinkling between his tired eyes. No, he answered, shaking his head as he turned to stare out his window.

  I hated the silence, was scraped raw by the apprehension of his lengthy pause. This is the moment when most people drop the hammer, when the word ‘but’ is uttered and followed by some equally heartbreaking decision.

  “But?”

  Turning to me, he locked his eyes to mine. But I think you should go work in the main building. I have a small marketing department, and there is an opening for you.

  He wanted to send me away. To a building he never visits, and to a place where I would be out of sight. I didn’t understand how this fit in with the game, with the chase, with everything he’d done up to this point. Why trap me only to send me to a place where I would be free? And then it hit me: Jackson. He hated the idea of Donovan and me. He hated having to constantly babysit his friend in order to prevent the destruction of Stone Industries. And in that hatred, he was doing everything humanly possible to keep Donovan trapped in his cage, to prevent him from moving beyond the tragedy that had changed his life.

  Perhaps now that I’d figured out the game, now that I’d called Donovan out in my messages from last night, Donovan had determined that I was no longer a useful player, and had succumbed to Jackson’s demands that I be sent away.

  “This is because of Jackson, isn’t it? What did he say to you? Why are you listening to him when all he wants to do is keep you chained?”

  The resentment in my voice echoed off the walls with a strength I was just now learning I had. Confrontation had never been easy for me, but in the past few weeks, I was becoming less fearful of it. Searching Donovan’s face, I found surprise and confusion, regret and utter exhaustion. But he didn’t respond immediately, his face pulling into the blank mask he used so well to close his thoughts off from the world and lock himself behind walls that prevented anybody from reaching him.

  I wouldn’t let that happen. Not now. Now when I knew he was reaching out to me in other ways, even if they were less than honorable.

  Brows pulling together, Donovan leaned back in his chair and studied me right back. But still, he didn’t answer, and his silence was beginning to piss me off. “Tell me!”

  Flinching in response to my demand, he answered, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Jackson has nothing to do with this. It was always the plan to let you take over the marketing department. I only gave you this job to see how dedicated you are. Filing is beneath you. You have too much education, too much experience to be a simple clerk.

  Laughter bubbled out of me, most of it brought on by the insanity that comes with lack of sleep. “I’m an Administrative Assistant. Your assistant. Not just some clerk that files papers.”

  Donovan’s expression softened. I don’t need a full time assistant, Mia. I never have. I can hire someone part time now that you’ve cleaned up the mess in this office. Don’t you want this? I thought you’d be happy.

  “No, I’m not happy. Because I don’t think this has always been the plan. I think this has everything to do with what happened between us yesterday. And I also think you’re doing this to run away from your feelings for me.”

  Standing from my seat, I planted my hands on Donovan’s desk, leaning over so that I was dangerously close to being directly in his face. His brow arched in that arrogant way of his, but I ignored it. He wouldn’t close himself off from me. Wouldn’t run me through whatever bullshit maze he’d created and then toss me aside like I meant nothing. I knew this was Jackson’s idea, knew that the man who claimed to be Donovan’s friend was doing everything in his power to handicap Donovan and prevent him from moving forward.

  “Tell me you feel nothing for me. If you can tell me that with sincerity behind those blue eyes of yours, then maybe I’ll believe you.”

  He wouldn’t be able to say it while staring me in the face, not with what I knew, not with what he knew I knew. Why expend the energy on all the games he’d played if letting me go had been the planned end result? It made no sense. Not that Donovan Stone ever made sense. But still, I couldn’t see a man as focused as him wasting time on a useless endeavor. There had to be an end game I wasn’t seeing, a result he was aiming for that was far out of my grasp.

  What I feel for you has nothing to do with the decision I’m making.

  Another bark of laughter burst from my lips. “Really? Because you’ve been doing everything you can to be close to me. Your games are tiring, Mr. Stone, and you know as well as me that it’s time to end them.”

  Brows pulling together, Donovan did an excellent job of appearing as if he had no clue what I was talking about. But he also did an awesome job hiding the fact that he was the man behind Dark Realities, which meant nothing he said or did could be believed. I was going on instinct at this point, tossing logic out the window because my heart was involved. I wanted this man. Wanted him more than I’d ever wanted another person. And for that reason, I could foolishly forgive him for the games he’d played, but I’d be damned to just let him gather his toys and slink away from the playground.

  In a way, this man’s ridiculous games helped tear me away from my timid shell, and now it was my turn to tear down the walls he’d constructed around himself after watching his fiancé die.

  What games are you talking about? I’m not playing any games.

  “Really?” My eyebrows shot so far up my head, they’d most likely disappeared beneath my hair line. “You were the one to lay down rules, Donovan. And you have been the one who’s been making my life a living hell just so you could be close to me while hiding who you are. If you don’t think of those as games, then-“

  He shot out of his chair. Taking a position that mirrored mine, he was practically nose to nose with me as he leaned over his desk, anger rolling behind his blue eyes that made me w
ant to close that small amount of distance to kiss it away entirely. It irritated me to no end that in this ten minute meeting, he’d already knocked me off course. Where I’d wanted to sneakily prove that he was the man behind Dark Realities, he’d skillfully turned this meeting into a stand off, two broken people learning what it meant to finally come out and admit they were ready to be fixed.

  I’d laid my cards on the table. Now, it was his turn.

  Swallowing down the desire I had to kiss him, I challenged him instead. “Tell me you don’t feel this, Donovan. Tell me you really want to see me go. Because if that’s what you want, then I’ll leave. Entirely. I won’t work in your marketing department. I won’t stay in the city where you can continue watching me. I won’t play your games anymore just because you can’t get over your own bullshit to be a normal human being. And I certainly won’t prance around and make demands just so you can sit back and pat yourself on the back for helping me become a stronger person. I won’t give you that.”

  Seconds felt like hours as we both stared at each other silently. And just when I thought he would tell me to leave, that he would close himself off and lock himself behind the same frustrating walls he’d always used to hide, a sigh rolled over his lips as he pushed away from his desk and gave up.

  I never meant for it to go this far. I never intended to fall for you. I don’t know what to do.

  He was scared. That much was obvious. But unlike the woman I’d been when he first interviewed me, I wasn’t scared any longer. Donovan might not have known what to do, but I did.

  Pushing away from the desk, I rounded the side of it, shoved his chair out of the way and stood toe to toe with my boss - the man I wanted, the man who had been my stalker all along. And rather than continuing the tiresome games he’d hidden behind since the moment we met, Donovan was going to come clean, once and for all.

  “I know you care for me. I know you want to break out of your shell and move on from what happened in your past.”

  The skin between his eyes wrinkled, his gaze darting to that damn picture before meeting mine again.

  “Yes,” I answered the silent question. “I know about that. And yes, I did break your stupid rules by digging into your past, but I consider that a minor invasion into your life in comparison to how you’ve invaded mine.”

  Stepping even closer, our breath collided, our lips so dangerously close that a fire could have erupted between us and it wouldn’t have been hotter than the combination of our body heat, the infusion of our souls as we stared at the reason both of our lives had been flipped upside down. My breath caught at the force of it, my brain deciphering and dedicating to memory every vulnerability that flashed across his expression.

  Donovan had seen me at my most vulnerable. The son of a bitch had stood over me as I slept. It was about time I saw him at his most vulnerable.

  “I want you,” I admitted on a whispered voice, my words colliding against his skin, my mouth inching closer to his. “And you want me. So instead of worrying about what you should or shouldn’t do, why don’t you just forget about all the stupid games and kiss me?”

  Heat flashed behind his eyes, edged by indecision. Prodding him had worked in the other game. I’d sent the message that had him sneaking into my bedroom once again. Perhaps, prodding him with the same challenge now would finally end this bullshit standoff, so that both of us could move forward.

  “I mean it, Donovan. I’m not scared.”

  With lungs struggling for breath, with a mind racing over everything that had brought us to this point, and with a heart that was a drum beneath my ribs, I issued my challenge.

  “Come and get me.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  Rule No. 8: It will always be complicated. Happiness is complicated.

  I had to hand it to Donovan: the man had an iron will. Rather than taking what was clearly being offered, he hesitated, his eyes searching mine as the gears ground together in his head. This decision would make or break us, it would be the defining moment of the odd, frustrating, romance we’d slowly built. He could walk away or he could kiss me. Those were his choices. Walking away would be the end to it all, whether he realized it or not. But kissing me…kissing me would put an end to all the game playing, it would free us both of our bonds, and it would the first step towards a life where we both could find something with meaning again.

  Kissing me would be the end of the mind games, for him and for me.

  Donovan stepped back, his body turning away as my heart beat harder, fissures splintering over the surface at the rejection I knew was coming. Another step would cause those fissures to crack. And the rejection would result in my heart shattering apart because I would understand that all the sleepless nights, all the forgiveness for his stupid games, all the bravery I’d had to conjure to make this move toward him, had been for nothing.

  Just when I thought he was truly turning away, he turned back, heat blazing behind his eyes, as he closed the distance between us.

  Donovan’s mouth crashed against mine with such hunger that it tore the air from my lungs, leaving me lightheaded and dizzy from the force of it. This wasn’t a hesitant kiss like what had occurred on the dance floor. This also wasn’t a regretful kiss like what had occurred in his office the day before. This was the type of kiss that vanquished all doubts I had left inside me that, to Donovan Stone, I was a woman worth taking a chance on. I was strong enough, and I was good enough, to pull him out the box he’d been trapped in for three long years and show him what it meant to live again.

  Would it be an easy life? I didn’t know. But what I did know was that if either of us wanted this to work, we needed to come clean with each other. We needed to reveal all our secrets and games and simply learn what it meant to be honest with one another.

  I would I have told him that if his tongue hadn’t taken control of my mouth, if his hands hadn’t taken possession of my hips so that he could lift me to settle me on the side of his desk. Settle is a bad word, more like so he could toss me up there before spreading my legs apart with his hips and colliding against me. Electricity shot across my skin to feel him, my hands burrowing into his hair as he released my hips to trap my knees and spread them even farther.

  Nestled up against me, he ran his fingertips up my thighs, the force of them dragging along the muscle and setting fire to every nerve that traveled directly to my core. It wasn’t just the absence of fear with his touch, it was that instead of wanting to recoil, I wanted to press into it more. He didn’t send ants crawling along my skin, he sent sparks that caught in the combustible desire inside my body and caused it to explode.

  My skirt puddled at my hips, I cried out in complaint when his mouth pulled away, but when he lowered his head to kiss down my neck, I let my head fall back, practically begging him to keep going. Pulling my dress open, Donovan slid the strap over my shoulder and down my arm, his lips locking on a nipple over my thin bra. I groaned at the feel of it, at the warmth of his breath against the damp lace.

  I should have kept my mouth shut, should have zipped my stupid lips and kept from teasing him. But this was new to me, I hadn’t yet learned that sometimes it’s better to shut up until after sex, than to run your mouth before even seeing the finish line.

  “Isn’t this better than pretending to be my stalker? We could have been doing this for the past few weeks rather than playing your ridiculous game.”

  Donovan’s mouth stopped. His hands stopped. His body flinched before he slowly lifted his head. Pulling his hands from my body, he signed, What are you talking about?

  Breathless, I laughed. “Never mind. Ignore me. Just go back to what you were doing.”

  Reaching out, I grabbed his hands to direct them back to those wonderful place he was discovering, but he twisted his wrists to lock his fingers over mine. Opening my eyes fully, I saw the sharp lines etched across his forehead, the way his eyes were narrowed in concern. It snapped me to attention, dragged me away from the haze of sex and sent a ch
ill down my spine. “The Dark Realities game. I’m tired of playing it. And once we’re done here, I plan on yelling at you for it.”

  Dropping my hands, his movements were clipped and urgent as he signed, I’m not playing a game with you, Mia. What are you taking about?

  Closing my eyes, I felt disappointment settle in my chest like a ton of bricks. He still wouldn’t fess up, still refused to take responsibility for scaring the hell out of me, violating my personal space and generally driving me crazy for the past month. “You know what. Just -“

  My words cut off as I pulled my clothes into place. If he couldn’t admit what he’d been doing for weeks now that he’d been caught, then he wasn’t a man I could ever trust. Signing up for Dark Realities has been a mistake, but so had taking this job in the first place. Lowering myself from the desk, I brushed past Donovan to leave the room, intentionally keeping my eyes away from him so I wouldn’t see him sign his excuses and lies.

  With my back to him, I said, “I’m sorry, Donovan. I want to be with you, but I can’t deal with all the lies.” Taking a steadying breath, I ended things, despite how badly I wanted to run back to him and never let go. “I don’t want the marketing job. I just want you to leave me alone.”

  Behind me a hand slammed down on the desk to get my attention, but I just waved it off and continued walking. Donovan slammed his hand against the desk again, but I ignored him.

  He must have run out from around the desk, because I felt his hand grip my arm.

  Instead of cowering beneath being grabbed, however, I simply ripped my arm away and kept walking. If anything, gaining that new ability had been worth the frustration of the time I spent with Donovan Stone.

  “Mia…stop.”

  It wasn’t anything more than a gritty whisper, the pained sound of a voice that hadn’t been used it three years, but despite how soft that sound had been, it still crashed into me with enough force to stop me in my tracks. Eyes rounded into saucers, I spun in place to look at a man whose face was tight with concern.