This Obsession of Mine (Raine Series #5)

by Amanda Bennett

  “I could ask you the same thing.” She chimed.

  Man how I had missed that sweet little accent of hers. “I like your hair.” Really, that’s all I had? “I mean, you look…amazing.”

  “Thanks, love. You don’t look so bad yourself. Although you are a bit sweaty. Good game.”

  “You watched?” I tossed my gear into the back of my truck, and began fiddling with my keys as I stood in front of the only woman I ever wanted in my arms again, but knowin’ that I couldn’t.

  “Of course. Once I heard your name announced, I had a little passing out incident, but they got me squared away.”

  I took a step towards her, “Oh my god, are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” She held her hands up and I knew to stay back. “I miss you, Jo.” Her voice came out just above a whisper, but I still heard every word.

  “I’m sorry, Diem, about everything. I wish I could go back and change it all, but I can’t.”

  “Does she live out here with you?”

  I could tell she didn’t really want to know the answer, but she deserved to know the truth. “No. She knows I’m out here, but she’s also givin’ me space to do my own thing, surprisingly.” We both laughed, and it finally felt like old times with her again. “Look, I would love to take you to get a cup of coffee or somethin’, if you have time.”

  “I actually have to be going now. I’m out in San Francisco, and it takes a bit to get back.”

  “You got in? That’s awesome, Diem. I’m so happy for you. I know how much goin’ to the university there meant to you. Well, I’ll let ya get goin’ then. It was really nice to see you again.” I stood back and waited for her to move so I could get in my truck, but she hadn’t budged an inch.

  “I’m free tomorrow though.”

  “Excuse me?” I was suddenly confused.

  “For coffee. If the offer is still good to take me?”

  My head snapped up in shock, “Yeah…yes, of course I do. How about we meet at Bay Brew in downtown San Fran, say around eleven?”

  “I look forward to it, Jo. See you tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow then.”

  We both smiled at each other and I’m pretty sure anyone in the vicinity could feel the electricity between us. It was like no time at all had passed. She felt like home, and the minute she walked back into my life, I knew that there was no way I was lettin’ her go. If that meant that we only got to be friends who got to meet up for coffee once in a blue moon, well then I would take it. Because at this point, I didn’t just want her in my life, I needed her in my life.

  Chapter 16

  Diem

  I wasn’t going to stay, I really wasn’t, but that look in his eyes got me every time. It was a look I hadn’t seen in a bit, but something deep inside of me came alive whenever I saw it. I don’t know how I stayed away from him for so long. It wasn’t my choice to do so, and I wish I could’ve told him why I had to leave, but why would he believe me? She was his wife, well legally she was his wife, and a crazy one at that, but I wasn’t trying to get in between the two of them regardless of their crazy situation.

  So here I was, getting ready to grab coffee with a guy that may not even feel for me the way he did before. A man that I couldn’t imagine not having in my life for a second longer. At this point I was willing to take whatever I could get with Joey. I was just hoping that one day, he would pick me. Sure Alex and I had grown a bit closer since our drunken night, but I couldn’t see a future with him, or anyone for that matter.

  I glanced in the mirror one last time before gathering my things and heading towards the door. “Troy, I’ll see ya in a bit.” I ran out the door and straight to my car as fast as I could before she could start in on her inquisition. There were things I needed to feel out before I answered any of her inane questions.

  I pulled up to the coffee shop about a good twenty minutes before eleven. I knew once I got here I was going to need a minute to collect myself, and make sure I was ready for all of this. I was staring at myself in the mirror giving myself an internal pep talk, when I saw him. He was walking towards the coffee shop with his hands in his pockets, making his muscles bulge right out of his sweatshirt. I could feel my face begin to flush as he turned and looked in my direction. I knew it was too late to pretend I didn’t see him, so I closed my eyes, took in a long deep breath, and opened the car door.

  It was the beginning of October, and I couldn’t believe how cold it already was. I wrapped my scarf around my neck a second time, and hugged my overcoat tight against my body. My hair whipped across my face as the wind picked up, and I walked a bit faster just to get into the warm indoors. I was only a few feet away from Joey when my boot hit a rock beneath me. I felt myself tumbling forward but there was no way I could catch myself in time because my arms were busy keeping me warm. Just as my face neared the ground, Joey’s strong capable arms reached out and swooped me right up into them. I was afraid to open my eyes once Joey was cradling me in his arms, so effortlessly I might add. But when I finally did, I got caught up in those mesmerizing blue eyes.

  “Are you okay?” his voice was shaking with concern.

  “Yeah…yes. Having a slight case of déjà vu, but other than that, I’m fine.”

  “Oh good. I was so afraid I wasn’t goin’ to get to you in time. You look like you’re hurt, are you?”

  “No.” I laughed, “But you can put me down now.”

  “Oh, sorry.” He smiled.

  He slowly lowered me to the ground cautiously. I wasn’t sure if he thought I would break if he let go of me completely, but he still hadn’t removed his hand from the small of my back. He guided me down the small pathway that led to the coffee shop, and even opened the door. As he pulled the door back a gust of warm air hit me in the face, instantly warming me, and the strong aroma of coffee had me feeling like I was home. We ordered our coffee, and took a seat in a booth in the far corner. I wasn’t sure if it was planned this way or not, but it was nice and quiet, so I wasn’t about to whinge about it.

  “So…”

  I could tell he was a bit nervous, so I took it upon myself to start the conversation. “How are you?” Okay, so maybe I was a bit nervous too.

  “I’m good. I’m actually really good. How are you?”

  “Good.” We both tried to look anywhere else but at each other, and it was just getting awkward now. “So…”

  Joey let out a loud sigh, “Is this weird for you too?”

  I sighed in relief, “Yes. I was hoping it wasn’t just me. Why is it so weird between us?” We both let out a more comfortable laugh, and then we fell right back into our comfortable banter. “So why are you in California?”

  “Honestly, I just had to get away from home. So much has been goin’ on, and I know this is goin’ to sound lame, but I figured the closer I was to San Francisco, the more likely I would be to get picked up by the Niners.”

  “That doesn’t sound lame at all, Jo. That sounds passionate.” I smiled. “How is your brother doing? Glenn, right?”

  “Yeah, you remembered. He’s doin’ great. Him and the guys are leavin’ on tour overseas next week actually. I’m just glad that Cami lives so close to Kayla so they can keep each other company.”

  “That sounds exciting. Where is their first stop?”

  Joey smirked, and I knew there was somethin’ he really wanted to tell me. “They’re actually stoppin’ in London first. About a month ago, I actually thought about throwin’ in the towel on the whole football thing, and leavin’ with them to find you.”

  “Why would you do that? I mean giving up your dream?”

  “Because my dream is nothin’ if I don’t have you to share it with.” He reached for my hand across the table, but I had to force myself to pull mine back.

  “Jo.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know we can’t be together. Although I still don’t understand why.”

  “Jo, you’re,” I leaned in close so no one else could hear me, “you’re marri
ed, and trust me when I say, there is no way that twit is letting you go any time soon.”

  “Wait.” He leaned in, “What does that mean?”

  “Nothing Jo. Just forget it.”

  “No, no nothing Jo, I want to talk about it. What happened the day you left, Diem? Because the girl I had spent the night with before, didn’t seem like a girl ready or willin’ to just up and leave me. I thought we were goin’ to be together? Or was that just a lie?”

  “No, of course it wasn’t. I did want to be with you Jo, more than anything. Unfortunately, your wife made it very clear that if I didn’t leave, she would make sure your future was spent elsewhere. I’m sorry. I wish I was a stronger person, but I know when to walk away from a fight I will never win.”

  Joey hung his head in his hands, pushing his hair back roughly, and that’s when I knew he was angry. It was his only tell. “I can’t believe Tanya would do this to me. Actually wait, I take that back, of course she would do this to me. I’m sorry, Diem, for everything. But I wish you would’ve just told me then.”

  I slid my hand across the table, pulling his into mine and he instantly began to calm down. “I was gutted to have to leave you, Jo. I went home, and I was a complete mess. My father was starting to worry when I didn’t come out of my flat for almost two weeks. It crushed me to have to leave you, but look at what all you’ve accomplished since then. You’re a star quarterback, and you get to do what you love to do every week. I’m very proud of you, Jo. I always knew you could do it.”

  “That means a lot to me, Diem. God, I can’t believe it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other. I’ve missed this.” He pointed between the two of us, and I instantly pulled my hand back and sipped on my latte. “Did I say somethin’ wrong?”

  “No Joey, it’s not you.”

  “Are you seein’ someone else? God, I’m such an idiot. I didn’t even ask. Of course you’re with someone. Girls like you don’t stay on the market this long. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cau-“

  “JOEY! Stop, I’m not with anybody else. I just don’t think we should jump back into what we were before. Nothing has changed in your life, and everything has changed in mine. Can’t we just start over?”

  “Absolutely, I would love nothin’ more.” He reached out for my hand again, but I didn’t give it to him this time.

  “As friends.” I gave him a half-hearted smile as I spoke, knowing that he wasn’t going to be too happy with my idea.

  “Friends? I don’t even know how to do that, but if that’s the only way I can have you in my life, then yes, I would love to be your friend.”

  Time flew by as we sat in that back booth just catching up. He told me all about how Glenn offered to help him, and how Kayla and him finally found a way to be friends, and how as much as he tried, he thought about me every day. I just sat there, listening to his voice and watching his lips move. My how I had missed him. His laugh, his jokes, the way he would twiddle his thumbs when he was thinking, everything. There wasn’t a single thing about him that I didn’t absolutely adore, and I knew in that very instant that this whole “being friends” thing was definitely a bad idea on my part. There was no way I could just be friends with the only man that I could imagine myself with for the rest of my life. This was definitely going to be a difficult friendship to say the least.

  I glanced down at my phone to see what time it was and realized that we had been here for over three hours. As much as I loved being with Joey, I had a ton of homework to get done and a paper that was due on Thursday that I hadn’t even started. “Jo, I hate to leave, but I have so much homework to get done, and a paper that won’t write itself.” I reached into my purse to help pay for the extra coffee we ordered and the coffee cake, but Jo was already setting money down on the table and standing in front of me with his hand out.

  “What? Friends help friends out of booths too.” He smiled.

  “Thanks, Jo.”

  I tugged my overcoat tight around me and looped my scarf around my neck to brave the blistering cold before opening the door. As soon as we made it outside, Jo stopped, and turned my body to face his. My stomach started to do flips, and it felt like a million butterflies were fluttering around in it. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to grab onto the sides of my face, gently pulling mine closer to his, and then let his lips crash down onto mine. I could feel the heat coming off of is mouth as I imagined it, but then he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me, pulling me out of my daydream and back into this shit of a reality. Stupid idea, D. Stupid idea.

  “It was amazing to get to hang out with you, Diem. I’ve missed you. We should get together again soon.”

  His tone of voice was off, and he sounded quite robotic, but I brushed it off. “Okay, yeah sounds good. Have a good week, Jo.”

  “You too, D. Talk to you soon.”

  I stood there like daft fool with my hand up, waving goodbye to him as he sped away. What the hell was wrong with me? I guess I would just see how the next little bit went, and if there needed to be changes, I’m quite sure he would be willing to go along with those changes. Only now, I wasn’t sure I was ready for all of this. Joey meant too much to me to just be friends with, and there was absolutely no way I could ever see him go out with another girl. Maybe this whole friends thing was a really bad idea. Maybe I should’ve just walked away that night.

  Chapter 17

  Joey

  The next few weeks were pure, agonizing torture. Every time Diem and I hung out, I found myself falling more and more in love with her, and it didn’t help that I saw her after every home game. She was always there at the end of the tunnel, waiting for me to tell me how great I played. Sure I appreciated it, but all I wanted to do was run up to her and pick her up in my arms, twirl her around and take her home with me. It was literally driving me insane.

  Our “hang outs” became less frequent, and the sad part is, neither one of us even minded it. As much as I wanted to see her, it killed me, and I was pretty sure she felt the exact same way. After a while the phone calls stopped and went straight to texting, and the hanging out part became nonexistent. School and football took up most of my time these days, and as much as I hated to admit it, I was doing amazing in all my classes. I guess that’s what trying not to hang out with your ex, and not having sex will do to a guy. My parents were excited, and I guess at this point, that’s all that mattered.

  It was only a few days away from Christmas and as much as I didn’t want to go home, Tanya had made it abundantly clear that if I didn’t come home, she would come out here and make my life a living hell. Like she wasn’t already doing that. I was walking out to my truck when my phone started ringing in my pocket. It was my generic ringtone, so I wasn’t sure who it was or if I should even answer, but lucky for me…I did.

  “Is this Joey Green?” The voice on the other end was gruff, and it sounded like the guy had to be about fifty years old or more.

  “Uh, yeah. This is Joey.”

  “Hi Mr. Green. My name is Detective Sanders. I work for the Abernathy Police Department. I was wondering if it would be possible for you to come in and have a word with me?”

  Shit! Shit! Shit! “Um, I wish I could, Sir, but I actually don’t live in Texas.”

  “Oh I know that son. I spoke with your folks just a bit earlier, and they said you were coming into town for the holidays. I was hopin’ we could get together and chat while you’re in town. The sooner the better.”

  Of course they did. Son of a… “Of course, Sir. I’ll be in town tomorrow. I can swing by the station, if that’s alright?”

  “Absolutely. Look forward to talkin’ with ya. See ya tomorrow. Safe travels.”

  “Yeah. Thanks.” I hung up the phone as I got in my truck, and threw it across the cab. What the hell was goin’ on? Did Tanya open up her big mouth, and start blabbin’? Well, this was goin’ to be a fun Christmas, I could feel it.

  My flight got in super late that night, and all I wanted to do was head to my pa
rent’s house and get some sleep. Unfortunately, the universe had other plans for me. As I stepped out the airport doors I looked around tryin’ to find Glenn’s truck, but it was nowhere to be seen. I reached in my pocket to call him and see where his lazy ass was, but then I saw her, waitin’ on the curb next to her beat up car.

  “What are you doin’ here?” I growled.

  “Is that any way to greet your wife?” She reached out for a hug, but I pushed past her and threw my bag in the backseat before gettin’ in the car.

  “Do you even know what that word means?”