The Mutual Look

by Dingwell, Joyce

  `You were boss at Fetherfell,' she pointed out.

  `Still an underling post. I want my own place, Jane, and that's why ...' He did not finish. Instead he got busy on her injuries, and his touch was professional, gentle yet firm and very thorough. He let out blisters, applied tape, bathed, dabbed, dried, pressed, soothed.

  `You're a good doctor, Rodden,' she observed.

  But a rotten vet?'

  `You're not.'

  `No,' he said ruefully, I'm not.' He looked at Jane. `How come you're here?'

  She had been about to ask him that for herself, but she answered briefly, telling him how she and Gretel had explored a new track, and how she had seen the humpy through the trees and dismounted to look closer.

  `A man came out, but he wasn't you.'

  `You're having delusions,' Rodden said lightly. The bush does that.'

  `Then it was?' She supposed that could be, the humpy had been some distance away.

  `It was I, Jane dear, only don't give me away.'

  `Give you away?' she echoed.

  `To the big boss. I'd sooner remain incognito when it comes to my retreat.'

  `This is your retreat?'

  `Why not?'

  Why not, Jane thought, everyone should have somewhere secret to go, only ... and she frowned a little ... a retreat did not seem like Rodden.

  `I'll get you up to the top now, Janey, if you feel you can make it. I'd brew some tea, only by leaving at once you could catch up on your mount.' He said it rather hurriedly, and Jane had the idea he wanted her out as much as she wanted it.

  `Yes, I can make it,' she nodded.

  She did ... with Rodden's help. He knew a short-cut to the top, steep but accessible. And there, actually only cropping a few yards away, Gretel waited. She would not have

  waited after sundown, Jane knew, but the fact that she had waited at all sent Jane running forward to kiss the mare instead of scolding her, as she had intended, for running off.

  'If you go at once you should escape any notice,' Rodden advised. 'When I came past there was general stud activity in the northern field, and that's the furthest away so the longest return to the house.' He paused. 'Don't forget, Jane.'

  'The retreat?'

  'Yes.'

  'What do you do there, Rodden?'

  could say paint, compose, write poetry,' he parried. 'You!' she said disbelievingly.

  'Credit me with it, or not, at least keep it to yourself. I have patched you up, remember.'

  'Yes, and thank you for that.'

  'Thank you for everything, Jane.' He said it sincerely, or at least, Jane knew, with as much sincerity as he was capable of.

  'Friends?' he asked as he helped her mount.

  'Yes, Rodden.'

  'And silence?' He nodded back to the valley.

  'Yes, Rodden,' she promised hurriedly. She was anxious to get home before the others.

  She did it, but barely. She bathed, did some more patch-ing to herself, then saw to it at dinner, and afterwards, that she did not move around any more than was necessary, in case her injuries showed.

  William Bower fortunately did not appear for the meal. She saw him only briefly afterwards, and in the more muted light of the hall.

  'Good evening, Miss Sidney, you're looking pale. Was it the strain of the auction, do you think?'

  Of course she was pale, she had put on a thicker make-up than she had ever worn before. She wondered if he saw that, if he saw the scratch that the powder was concealing.

  —Or so she had hoped.

  `I trust it passes over, whatever it is.' His tone was carefully casual. 'Because tomorrow it's on again.'

  `An auction?'

  No, your collection of your second batch. You'll leave early as before. Take a few days.'

  She was quiet. She was thinking of the numerous cuts and bruises as well as the facial scratch she had suffered, she might camouflage them from this man by night, but by day

  `I won't be going this time. Tim will accompany you.' He added : 'And Maureen.'

  `For convention's sake,' she said flippantly ... also with relief, relief that she would not have Bower's sharp eyes on her tomorrow.

  `Oh, I have no fears about that,' he reminded her, and she knew he was baiting her with that family unit episode. `Five a.m., overnight bag, you know the drill,' he tossed. `Also, can I advise less of what you have plastered on your face? It's a long trip and it can play the devil with a woman's make-up. And after all' ... a pause ... 'a scratch is still a scratch. Who did it, and why, Miss Sidney?'

  `A bush, and because I ran into it,' she said in angry frustration. This man simply missed nothing at all!

  `Well, it's you who's suffering,' he dismissed carelessly. `Have fun.' Without another word, he went away.

  She knew she had been let off lightly, if he had really wanted to know he would have persisted, and she might have had to tell him.

  She went upstairs, tired after the day's happenings, inexplicably discouraged even though she had escaped quite well, all things considered.

  Then she was realizing with a leap of her heart that she was collecting Dandy tomorrow. Dotsy and Devil May Care, too, but Dandy. Dandy.

  Jane was smiling as she fell asleep.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Tim picked up the three D's quicker than William Bower had collected the first contingent. He spent less time on meals than the stud master had on Jane's first Sydney trip ... Jane recalled lunch and the long discussion on the value of Dandy, the condition of Dotsy ... which meant he could get the horses out of quarantine earlier, then have them ready for their journey home.

  On the second day of the collection they followed the highway instead of the longer mountain road, and by dusk were back at Plateau. It had been a pleasant if uneventful journey. Several times Maureen had put out awkward feelers of friendship. If Tim had not been there, Jane would have said, 'Darling, it's all over, it was all the silliest thing, anyhow, but it's passed and now it is the past.'

  As they crossed the little bridge they saw the twins racing each other over the creek. Kate was not with them, but with swimming efficiency like that they did not need her.

  `Hop-picking festival next week,' Tim remarked. 'Ever been to one, Jane?'

  `No.'

  `It's something not to be missed, not here, anyway. Every nationality in the world, every tongue, every dance, every drink, every dish. It's a great show. John will want you to go'

  doubt it. I haven't seen him since Kate took over.' Jane emphasized Kate slyly.

  `He'd be out of luck if he wanted to take Kate,' Tim laughed.

  `Be quiet,' said Maureen sternly. She said evasively to Jane : `We all go, it's tremendous fun.'

  `It sounds it,' Jane nodded, wondering why Tim had been

  silenced.

  But Jane could not wonder about anything very much, she was too happy because of Dandy. Although the other pair had clearly recognized her, it had been Dandy who had greeted her. The tears had been streaming down Jane's cheeks as she had put her hands on each side of the satiny head and pressed her lips on the big brow.

  She had had no time to consider Dotsy, whether what William Bower had said of her was right, or otherwise. However, she asked Tim on the way home, and he said he couldn't be sure, either.

  `A vet?' she queried.

  `That's right, Jane.'

  `But you've been giving pregnancy tests to the mares who have been in for service.'

  `Yes. We always do, for at that stage the tests are simple. But Dotsy, if she is, would be well on by now, and, strange though it seems, not so easy. For on the other hand she merely could be well on with plain avoirdupois ... as Gretel was. You have to take your time over an opinion at this stage.'

  Jane questioned Dotsy herself that evening. Dotsy was a nutty brown, very glossy, and certainly showing a slight rotundity. But it needn't be pregnancy, as Tim had said, it might just be a tub, the same as with Gretel, that Dotsy had grown through idleness and overeating.

>   `Are you or aren't you, Dotsy?' Jane asked.

  Dotsy whickered.

  `Who was it?'

  Dotsy, Jane could have sworn, winked.

  `You're a shameless girl! I'll have to write to Rusty.'

  `It's high time you did.' That was Jane's first indication that she had been talking aloud and that William Bower was standing at the door of Dotsy's box listening. 'I thought it had been written long ago, and that this was the answer.' He held up a letter with an American stamp.

  Jane put down her working tools and came across to

  claim it. About to slip it in her pocket for reading afterwards, she remembered that this man was Rusty's nephew, so opened it instead.

  There was nothing that couldn't be shared. Rusty loved the part of America in which he found himself, he believed he would be happy there until it was time for him, too, to be put down.

  He asked about the boys and girls, and, on second thoughts it appeared, his nephew.

  'Nice of him,' broke in William drily.

  'Most of all, you, Jane.' Jane read that aloud before she could check herself. 'Are you contented? Are you happy? Have you exchanged any mutual look?' Jane stopped, annoyed with herself, annoyed with old Rusty.

  'Go on,' said William.

  'That's all,' she said.

  'Well, have you?'

  'Have I what? No' ... impatiently ... 'don't bother to answer. It's all too silly. Anyway, it's no business of yours.'

  'Agreed. But what is my business as your employer ... oh, yes, I'm that as well as co-director ... is that scratch, Miss Sidney. It's rather a deepish one. If you indicate the bush that did it I'll have it cut back.'

  'It's nothing,' she said evasively.

  'It would have been something had it not been attended to, I would say. Who did attend to it?'

  did.'

  'You did later, I think but I also think it was attended to fairly promptly, and by someone who knew their job.'

  'Like a doctor,' she said flippantly.

  'Like a—vet.' He waited. 'So you met Gair,' he said when Jane did not comment.

  did not.' Well, actually there hadn't been a meeting.

  happen to know Gair's particular manner of bandag-ing ... good lord, I should, I've seen it often enough. That ankle, for instance' ... his glance went down ... 'has been

  bound in a different way from how a layman would bind it.'

  `I bound it myself this morning,' she insisted. `Borrowing Gair's method?'

  Jane was silent. She had borrowed it.

  `All right, then,' Bower shrugged, 'it's not important, you're not stepping on anyone's corns, Maureen isn't interested any more. You have an All Clear.'

  `I don't want it.'

  `Why not? Dead sea fruit?'

  Jane was silent, furiously so.

  `He's a clever fellow,' said Bower.

  `Yet you're getting rid of him?'

  `Let me finish, please. But not my kind of clever fellow. He'll do much more and in a shorter time in a different sort of place from Bowers.'

  `He told me you'd sacked him.'

  `When you met him?' he said deliberately.

  `When we encountered,' she corrected coolly.

  `Where was that?'

  `Oh—somewhere along a track.'

  `You surely know where,' William Bower said angrily. `Good lord, if you didn't know you could have got lost. Getting lost in our bush is very easy, but not easy on the searchers. It's sometimes proved fatal for both sides.'

  `I'm here, aren't I?' Jane wondered how his reaction would have been had she confessed that she had been lost.

  `So you can't indicate the spot?'

  She could have told him the place where she had emerged, but she had promised Rodden to keep his retreat a secret, and she would not go back on that.

  `Nor the track Gretel and I took,' she replied.

  `What was Gair doing in the bush?'

  `What I was, probably—exploring.'

  Not Rodden.' He looked at her sharply. 'Did you see anyone else?'

  `No.' For a moment she forgot that first figure that Rod-

  den had laughed over when she had told him, had said was his, of course. 'Why should I?' she asked.

  No reason at all,' he agreed, but he seemed somehow uncertain.

  He began talking about the new contingent. Devil May Care was going to start training at once. William Bower said he had been studying his records and believed they could expect a lot from him. Dotsy they must leave for Tim's verdict, or for when Miss Sidney got a reply from the letter she still had not written to Rusty.

  `How about Dandy?' Jane asked.

  can't see much of a sire in him, nor can I see a racer.' `Does there have to be?'

  `A stud isn't run for fun, Miss Sidney.'

  know that now,' Jane said coldly.

  `Keep the fellow for your own mount, I think we can run to that.'

  `You're very magnanimous, Mr. Bower.'

  He looked as though he was searching for a retort, but, unbelievable in William Bower, evidently he found none. `Write that letter,' he directed, and went away.

  `Dear Rusty,' Jane recited to her pretty brown girl, 'is Dotsy, or isn't she, for she won't say, and if so, when, and from whom?'

  She wrote just that, that night.

  Dandy and Jane had fine rides together. The pony was more venturesome than Gretel, and would have explored anywhere that Jane asked, but that last experience had given Jane an extra sense of caution, and, apart from a few woodsy rides along the upper valleys, the pair kept to the top, sometimes towing Wendy's Pride behind them, for the filly was out of her box now and testing her slender legs on the soft grass flats.

  On one of Jane's rides, William Bower joined her. He rode a very large bay, Major, and beside Major, Dandy looked small and insignificant. Jane knew she must look the same.

  `You like this, don't you?' They had come to the breathless end of an exhilarating gallop. Jane, not towing Wendy's Pride today, had given Dandy his head. The pair had come first in the unofficial race. Perhaps, and probably, William had held Major back, but it was a nice feeling to win.

  `I love it,' said Jane.

  `I wish the twins were more enthusiastic. I've provided them with suitable mounts, but the interest just isn't there, only down the valley. It's discouraging to say the least, the Bowers always have had racing in their blood.'

  `But they're not,' Jane reminded him tactfully. 'You must look to your own for that.'

  `I have thought of it,' he said coolly.

  The practicality of it irked Jane. She could not have said why she was so irritated; after all, it was no concern of hers whether this man married, or not, had a family, or not.

  `You're disapproving,' he said, taking out his pipe, 'yet a union on that basis would possibly, even probably, make a much better union than the usual maudlin reasons.' He said the maudlin deliberately, she knew, to bait her.

  `I've read,' he went on, 'that in spite of what people think, arranged marriages are much more successful than the eyes-meeting variety. Each partner knows what to expect, and doesn't ask for more than that. Do you agree?'

  `I think,' said Jane, 'you have the right idea. For yourself.'

  `Anyone else I should think of?' he asked.

  `I also think,' she continued, 'that a grand tour of some of the studs might bring forth good material.'

  `There's fair material here. I'm not the little boy who sees golden windows across the valley, I feel the talent is just as promising at home.'

  `I thought stablehands were out?'

  `A man can change.'

  `Why not line up the candidates and see who wins the race?' Jane said, not far from open anger.

  'It wouldn't be fair, unless I adopted a handicap.' 'Mr. Bower, this is all in bad taste.'

  agree,' he said rather surprisingly, 'but you did carry it on, didn't you? I meant what I said about being regretful that the kids are not horse-minded. However, even if they were, it wouldn't matter, for they
'll be leaving soon. I've had a letter from the parents. They've met up after their respective overseas assignments, and will be flying home within the fortnight.'

  The children will love that.'

  'Yes, they will. Although lately I've thought ...' But William Bower left it at that.

  The next day invitations came up from the valley for the hop-picking celebrations, and immediately rosters were drawn up for attendance, since everyone wanted to go, and, on a stud, someone must always be on duty.

  The girls consulted each other as to clothes. Because they were the fair sex, and the fair sex would be very much in demand at the celebrations, they were not rostered. Kate said that they must take an extra dress for the dance at night. Slacks, shorts or shifts would be all right for the day's entertainment, but long swinging skirts were called for after seven.

  Jane, who had only her pink cotton bought from Ahmed ... and that negligee ... sent down to Sydney at once for some gay floral material. The girls did the same, and, their day's work finished, they met up in a bedroom for mutual sewing and advice. Maureen, as Jane had thought, was entirely out of her resentment by now, though still obviously a little embarrassed over herself and what she had said to Jane. One day they would shake hands and laugh over it all, Jane knew. Until then they both smiled a little shyly and a little uncertainly at each other, and the rift closed another inch.

  Jane's dress featured large sunflowers, and, because she was slim and needed more bulk, she was advised by Maureen and Kate to gather the waist instead of adopting a

  more slenderizing line. She was also persuaded to send for

  tangerine sandals and to wear a matching band in her hair.

  `I'll look like an orange festival, not a hop variety,' she complained mildly.

  `So long as you look festive,' they advised. They had chosen pink and blue respectively; Maureen would wear splashy roses, Kate spiky cornflowers.

  Jane spoke to William regarding the children.

  `They've enough clothes surely already. It seems to me I'm settling an account every week.'

  `Not after-six clothes.'

  `After six that pair will be in bed.'