I climbed in the shower, closed my eyes, and tipped my head back into the heated stream. I imagined the water jets were Reaper massaging my scalp. I slid my hands up my torso to cup my breasts, squeezing them gently and pinching my nipples. In my mind, it was Reaper whose hands touched me. As I ran my hands back down my body, one glided over my smooth mound, my finger finding a slick wetness that had nothing to do with the water from the shower. A soft gasp and moan escaped my lips as I pictured Reaper looking up at me as he buried his face between my legs and worked his magic. When I came, it was with his name on my lips.
Drying myself with a plush towel, I felt my core pulse as I dried between my legs. I braced my hands on the edge of the counter, hanging my head as I tried to calm my breathing. My wet hair dripping cold water on my arms became chilly in the AC, and I broke out in goose bumps, shivering. What was I going to do if he didn’t want me after all? Let’s face it, I was fricking obsessed with him. I was pathetic.
My phone started to ring. The caller ID read Unknown Caller. As I walked out of the bathroom, trying to decide if I should answer it, I heard my doorknob rattle again. I answered the call, keeping an eye on my door.
“Hello?” Silence. Are you for real? “Hello? Who is this? If this is a wrong number, please make note of the number you called so you don’t keep calling me.” No response. This was starting to piss me off. Stupid kids? Surely not Michael. He would just knock on my door and holler at me if he wanted to bother me again.
The call cut off, and I didn’t see or hear anything more from my door. I stood wrapped in my towel with my hair dripping on the hardwood flooring for several minutes before I shook it all off and went into the bedroom to put on clean pajama pants and a T-shirt. My phone rang again, and I looked to make sure it wasn’t unknown. It was 8:30 p.m. Reaper.
“Hey, you,” I said with a slight quaver in my voice. I didn’t need to let shit shake me up. I was probably letting my overactive imagination make more out of stuff than there really was. Pasting a smile on my face, I tried to keep my tone light. “How was today? I love the fence! Nice job!”
“Thanks, baby. It was a real pain in the ass with a bunch of hungover bikers, but it went better than I expected. So you like it? I didn’t want to just put up some crappy chain-link. The pillars were put in a few days ago by some guys moonlighting on their masonry jobs, so I can’t take credit for those, but I felt like we did a good job on the rest. I have a key fob for you for the gate when you get here.” He sounded so pleased with himself. I knew they had busted their asses. There was no way I was mentioning the stupid phone calls and getting him worked up and worried for nothing.
“Well, it looks great. I’m so pleased you did that to keep Remi safe. You’re doing pretty good at this father thing, huh?”
“I’m trying.” He laughed. “I know she’s probably getting a little spoiled with me, and I apologize in advance. I still cannot get over how fucking happy that little girl makes me. She smiles and pops those dimples on me, and I can’t tell her no.”
“Ahhhh, now you know how I feel with the two of you!” I laughed too.
“Oh really? Yeah, totally filing that information away for later.”
“Whatever! Like you didn’t know that already.” Every time we spoke he made me laugh so much. I just loved talking to him. It seemed as if he was always able to make me feel better when I was lonely or upset, even when he didn’t know I was. It may sound cliché or too soon, but I felt like I was falling for him deeper and deeper every time I talked to him. Unfortunately, the fear of getting my heart broken still crept into my mind.
“Hey, your little girl wants to talk to her momma.” I heard rustling again and then my precious little girl’s voice.
“Momma! Kisses Momma!” It wasn’t lost on me that Remi had picked up the more southern term of “momma” for me. Total evidence of hearing her daddy’s influence. It warmed my heart.
“Hey, baby! Yes, Momma is here and thank you for the kisses. Only six more sleeps and Momma should be home. I miss you, beautiful!” A conversation with a two-and-a-half-year-old isn’t exactly stimulating conversation, but I loved every second of it. The words she knew interspersed with jumbled babble were the sweetest sounds I had ever heard. She finished all she felt was important to tell me and left with a kiss on the mouthpiece of the phone before running off to play before Daddy put her to bed.
“I’m glad you’ve been able to have her with you overnight this weekend. I hope she hasn’t been too wild for you.” I worried she would get naughty and have him questioning his sanity at sticking around. It was different for a parent there from birth who was already used to the occasional temper tantrum or naughtiness. I didn’t know what it would be like for him stepping in at this stage in the game, and I was worried about him getting overwhelmed.
“Oh, we’ve had our moments, but I dealt with privates in the Army that were less manageable than her.” He chuckled. “I can handle my little princess, but like I said, I make no guarantees on how spoiled she might be by the time you come home. Are you sure you’re doing okay? I know you’re missing her, and I’m sorry for that, but I hope having her here has helped you with your packing at least.”
“Oh, it has. I cannot imagine what it would be like trying to pack with her running around unpacking as fast as I pack and trying to get in her naps and meals. Yes, it has definitely helped. I just really do miss her. Like I said, I’ve never really been away from her.” My heart ached talking about how much I missed my girl. I truly was glad he was able to spend this time with her though.
We talked about my parents, my ideas for the bar, and how many days were left before I would be home. We hung up with a hesitancy that implied we didn’t want to let each other go again. It really had my mind wandering in regards to what direction we were heading. He called me “baby,” but he was from Tennessee, and I knew they called a lot of people darling, sweetheart, and baby.
A week from today and I would be home—less if my brothers and I could manage to get everything loaded up and out of here quickly. I didn’t tell Reaper, though, in case it didn’t work out. Lordy, I couldn’t wait to see him again.
THE LAST FEW DAYS had gone by in a bit of a blur. We were swamped at the garage, and last night I didn’t even get to pick Remi up because I worked late. It broke my heart, but I did stop by her grandparents’ to see her and tuck her in. That got me really hoping I would be able to convince Stephanie to move in with me. I loved putting Remi to bed every night, and if she and her momma were in their own place, or even at her parents’, I would feel like I was intruding on her personal space if I stopped by every night.
I was also fucking bummed as shit that I wouldn’t be able to call Stephanie tonight because she was going out for her going-away party. I thought about asking her to call me when she got home, but that seemed pushy. I had the excuse of talking to her every night because of Remi, but Remi would long have been asleep by the time they all ended up calling it a night. I didn’t want her to feel like I was keeping fucking tabs on her, but she was the mother of my child and I wanted her safe. That’s all it fucking was. Right? I mean, I cared about her, but I could deal if she didn’t want a relationship with me. Fuck, I lived twenty-eight years without a serious relationship, I could fucking deal if she didn’t want one. It was no big deal. Shit, why did I feel like I was making shitty excuses?
I hopped on my bike and headed over to see my princess, late out of work again. Stephanie’s mom had invited me to have dinner with them all when I called and said I was gonna be a little late. Between all the jobs we had going at the shop and preparing for the run this weekend, we were running ragged. I needed to return to the clubhouse for a brief meeting tonight as it was. We were scheduled to leave in a few short days.
I pulled up in the driveway and climbed off the bike. Damn, there must be rain coming. My leg was stiff and sore today.
When I rang the doorbell, I heard little feet pattering toward the door, and I couldn’t help bu
t smile. The doorknob rattled as she tried to open the door. Then another set of footsteps approached and someone opened it for her. She stood there holding her grandpa’s hand, squealing, “Daddy! Daddy here!”
Stephanie’s dad shook my hand as I came in the door, telling me dinner would be ready in a few minutes, and I bent over to scoop my little girl up. The contrast between her ivory skin and the ink on my arms was dramatic. We walked back to the kitchen, and I sat at the table with her after her grandma denied needing help with anything.
“So how is the house coming along, Colton?” Her mom looked over at me from the oven where she was pulling a roast out. I couldn’t get Stephanie’s parents to call me Reaper, and I quit correcting them. “We drove by and saw the fence and gate. That’s amazing! I bet Stephanie is going to love that.” Yep, more hints…
“Yes, ma’am, she does. I sent her a picture of it.” Her knowing smirk was not lost on me as she tried to turn away without me seeing it. I also heard her harrumph at my use of ma’am, but hey, if they weren’t going to call me Reaper, two could play at that game. I had told them, despite my somewhat nefarious ways, my momma did raise me to have manners and respect.
“She has her going-away party tonight, right? So will you talk to her after she gets home? I’m so happy to have her home soon.” Another fishing episode. I laughed to myself.
“No, ma’am. Remi will be in bed by then, and I only call her to let Remi talk to her before she goes to bed. I’m trying not to push her too much.” She looked a little disappointed. Yeah, Ma, I’m disappointed too. I had gotten addicted to hearing her voice and sometimes seeing her face with Facetime. Thank fucking God for technology.
Dinner was filled with pleasant conversation. Stephanie’s dad talked about the things he had planned for the farm over the next few days, and her mom spoke of the plans for the Oasis Stephanie had told her about. I had to admit, they were great ideas, and I could see she was going to make the Oasis into a great pub where people would love to hang out, eat and drink.
I headed back to the clubhouse after putting Remi to bed, arriving just as everyone was filing into the chapel. That was close. Hacker caught me as we were walking in and whispered he needed to talk to me as soon as we got done. I didn’t hear much of the meeting due to wondering what Hacker had to discuss with me. From the expression on his face, it didn’t look like it was good news. As soon as Snow called an end to church, we headed out—some to grab drinks at the bar, some to shoot pool, others to play darts, and still some left to go home to their old ladies and families. Me? I found Hacker.
“What’s up, bro?”
“Man, come to my room.” He headed quickly to his room and shut the door after I entered, then turned to pull up some files on his computer. “I tried to call you earlier, but you didn’t answer, and I figured you were with your kid, man. I heard from the contact finally. That sealed juvenile file? It was for stalking, assaulting, and raping a girl he had dated after she broke up with him. Because they were both minors and his parents paid a big profile lawyer, he did a stint in juvie and everything remained sealed. But there’s more.”
I didn’t like the sound of all this, and I was getting more and more pissed.
“He didn’t just leave the Quad Cities because he had a better opportunity. He had been threatening and tried to assault a girl he had been seeing after she broke up with him. She refused to press charges, parents hired the big lawyer again, and he agreed to leave the area and have no contact with the girl again.” He looked worried and pissed.
“Motherfucker! Do we know where he is now? Stephanie swears she hasn’t seen or heard from him, but his prior MO says he isn’t done with her. Fuck. I need to talk to Snow. I need to go to her. Thanks, bro. I appreciate all of this. You have no idea.” I headed to the door.
“Hey, Reaper. Can I ask what your intentions are with Stephanie? Not just for my own peace of mind, but for the interest of you and the club. I’m going to ask you straight up what your intentions with her. You gonna make her your old lady, or what? She deserves good things. I don’t wanna see you dick her around.” His expression showed the depth of his concern.
“Trust me, bro, if I have my way, I’m claiming her. But I need her to be on board with it. And she’s my baby girl’s mother. I’m hoping Snow will take that into consideration when I talk to him, and let me head out earlier than planned.” I left the room, making a beeline for Snow’s office, praying like hell his ass was still here.
The light was on as I approached the office, but it was evident Snow was preparing to lock up. He looked up in surprise when I asked if I could have a word, and motioned me to sit. I told him what was going on and his brow furrowed in concern, but he didn’t say a word until I was done.
“Reaper, I understand your position, but I really need you on this one. I was planning on sending you and Hollywood ahead to find a good location to set up just so you can be our ‘eyes in the sky’ if needed. We talked about this tonight at the meeting. Was your head not in the game, son? I don’t have anyone else with your particular skill set. I can’t spare you. The best I can do is cut you loose as soon as the handoff takes place. I’m sorry, but I have to look out for the safety of the club.” He leaned forward in his chair with his fingertips steepled as he raised his brows.
“Look, Hollywood is damn near as good a shot as I am. He could cover this easy.” I couldn’t leave his office without at least trying again.
“Reaper, you said there haven’t been any issues. I’m not gonna send you down there on suppositions. We need you. As soon as we’re done, you can be with your girl and take your time coming back. Okay?”
I was fucking pissed. I clenched my jaw to hold my fucking words in. For the first time ever, I was pissed at my club for coming between me and something important to me. My loyalty was to the club, and I wasn’t going to go against my Prez, but I was fucking livid.
Not trusting myself to speak, I nodded and stood, walking out of his office. I needed to get in touch with Stephanie. Of course her phone went to voice mail. Fuck. Fuck! Fuck! I stormed through the clubhouse, earning raised brows and questioning looks from everyone still hanging around. Hacker and Hollywood rushed out of the door after me just as I turned and punched the side of the building, leaving a dent in the metal and blood on the wall. I could barely feel my hand, but I didn’t giving a flying fuck. I wiggled my fingers and clenched my fist. It hurt, but I didn’t think anything was fucking broken.
“What the fuck, bro? What happened?” Hollywood placed his hand on my shoulder, and I shook him off in frustration. I still didn’t trust myself to speak. As Hacker explained what he knew, I tried to call Stephanie again. No fucking answer. Come on, Stephanie! Pick up your goddamn phone!
I told them what Snow told me, and they said they figured that would be his response after what he had discussed in church. I kicked myself for not fucking paying attention tonight. Sonofabitch!
Helplessness was not a feeling I dealt well with, and it pissed me off. Not having control of a situation drove me fucking insane. It made me feel like I was coming unraveled. I needed to cool off so I strode to my bike, and Hollywood followed suit. He was my best friend, and he always had my back. I expected nothing less of him. What the fuck ever. He was welcome to tag along.
I pulled out of the lot like the fucking hounds of hell were hot on my ass. Hollywood was right on my tail. As I rode down the dark night highway with my headlights illuminating the road ahead, I ran through everything in my head. I told myself that she hadn’t heard anything from him so far and that was a good thing. I prayed to a God I didn’t know if I really believed in that she would get out of there before he made a move. It was all I could do.
WE HEADED DOWN TO a chic little wine bar after we left work and polished off several high-dollar bottles, toasting to my future before we walked down to a small bar to finish the celebration. By the end of the night, we all had to pour ourselves into cabs to get home. I was so glad when the bosses told me I
could skip my short day tomorrow, because I knew I would be suffering in the morning. God, my brothers were going to be rubbing this in my face. Ugh! It’s okay, I had fun. So poo on them. Digging through my purse to find my phone and text my brothers so they would know I’d be off tomorrow was a chore with as tipsy as I was. After discovering the elusive phone, I saw two missed calls from Reaper, but shit it was late as hell, and oh my Lord, I was beyond tipsy, I was fucking drunk as hell. Ummmm yeahhhhh, probably not a wise idea to call him back now. I made a mental note to call him, and text my brothers in the morning and tucked my phone snug in my bra. I giggled to myself at the thought that my bigger boobs after having Remi came in handy for something.
Reggie and I shared a cab since we were only a couple blocks apart. I was sure the cab driver was laughing at our drunken exclamations and singing. We were quite a pair, and a singer, I was not.
Reggie hugged me and waved, like the drunken sot he was, as the cab we shared dropped me off in front of my building. I stumbled in and, honestly, had no idea how I got to my door. Jesus, I was getting too old for this crap. I giggled again as I fumbled with my keys and tried to put my key in one of the two keyholes. Since when did I have two keyholes? Did that bastard maintenance man change my door lock too soon? I giggled. After about the fifth stab at it, I finally got it to slide in properly. This caused another fit of giggles that I tried to silence. I kept waiting for one of my neighbors to come out and yell at me for being so loud.
The door swung open, and I lurched drunkenly forward into the entryway. As I tried to swing the door shut, it kept getting stuck and it wouldn’t shut. What the hell? Stupid door.
Colton's Salvation: A Demented Sons MC Novel Page 20