MATCH CITY

by Megan Kreuger

  The realization that he doesn’t feel as strongly as I do, may be the lowest, darkest thought I’ve ever had. It’s devastating.

  “Are you okay?” December asks, softly. Her question makes things worse and I feel my face scrunch up. “I— “It’s alright, Freya. You don’t have to explain anything to me. Do you want to go for a walk?”

  Dabbing under my eyes and cheeks with the outside of my wrist, I manage to nod. We walk slowly through the corridors, not really talking yet, just matching each other’s steps, December gives me silent reassurance in her mannerisms and expressions before I can gather my thoughts together.

  “You have a lot going on don’t you?” she finally says. I allow some of the truth to spill out. “I have been making a lot of mistakes lately. And Ursa comes with a lot of information, too fast. My brother missing is ruining me. My Father…he’s just…I don’t know—my Father, and trying to go through the scanner, I mean, with Castor…I guess I’ve just needed to talk about things, but I ignore it until it gets to be too much. And then I embarrass myself,” I laugh through the tears.

  December looks overwhelmed with information. “And they put you in broadcasting? Just like Apollo said they would?” she asks, her forehead crinkles in concern. “Yeah, he’s been right about so many things. I’ve been such a fool,” I say. “I need to be smarter. There’s so much on my plate, and I haven’t been able to talk about it with anyone. It’s destroying me.”

  We walk in silence for a moment. December’s face reveals she doesn’t have an answer.

  “If anything ever happens to me…you know—like what happened to Maryn. I think about him all of the time, and I miss him. I understand some things now, and If anything ever happens…” December is wide-eyed. “…just let my dad know I love him and it’s for the best.”

  “Freya, I don’t know what you are talking about and you are really starting to scare me,” she says, the confusion on her face is turning to terror. “I guess I was just under the impression that you and Apollo were going to end up together.” It takes everything I have to not burst into hysterical sobbing. I stay quiet.

  She understands and changes her composure. Appearing thoughtful, she asks, “Do you know where Maryn is?”

  “No.”

  She is silent again. “You know I always thought I would pair with him,” she squeaks.

  I’m shocked. “What?!” raising my eyebrows, I smile big. I can’t help it. “You never said anything about that before,” I say. “Well you know, he is three years older and is so funny and gorgeous. Everyone knows your family is unnaturally beautiful. I never said anything because we were always around him. It’s embarrassing,” she blurts out, clearly still mortified.

  “We are supposed to be best friends,” I joke, but immediately regret the comment since I’m keeping so many secrets myself. We always have to put the Creators before everyone, even our own friends and family. The truly sad and undeniable aspect is that our friends and family would understand if they found out they’d been lied to. If we are serving Saros, all is well with our fabrications. Our secret allegiance to the City is allowed to be stronger than blood.

  We hear Castor’s voice behind us. “Excuse me, Freya, would you be willing to take a walk with me?” I glance at December, and her face tells me I’d better go. “Sure,” I say confidently. He holds out his hand to me. Reluctantly, I place my palm against his, his fingers fold and clasp around mine. “We aren’t engaged,” I say. He blinks and slightly rolls his eyes in annoyance.

  “You look beautiful, Freya,” he says, ignoring my previous statement. Regardless of his obliviousness, I release his hand. “Thank you. And you don’t look so bad.” The blatant lie rolls of my tongue effortlessly. He looks amazing, per the norm. He smirks; the corner of his mouth curls and his blue eyes glimmer with desire. I have to look away.

  “So I need to say a few things,” he begins. “First, I apologize for what happened to Apollo, but I want you to know that I wasn’t directly responsible for any of that. I didn’t intend for anything to happen to him, but I made the mistake of believing you had feelings for him, and it was my fault…I opened my mouth about some concerns I was having… those beliefs led to the force of action taken against him. I’m truly sorry.”

  Silence. I have no words. I’m almost trembling. “You…” Before I can speak he says, “Look, after it happened, Roman told me that you only care about him as a trainer and friend. Roman really cares about Apollo, but I know he wouldn’t lie to me. I feel terrible,” he says.

  The anger overwhelms me, but I realize he’s apologizing and has a conscience. I’m also grateful to Roman, for getting the situation resolved. I swallow hard. Besides, it’s not like any of it matters anymore. Apollo made up his mind to give up on me, if he really ever cared to begin with.

  “Look you don’t need to say anymore,” I say, his words already feel like knives. “He was my trainer and I do care about him like you said. You made a mistake, but it’s over. We can move on. We don’t need to talk about it anymore.”

  A genuine look of relief settles over him. I don’t think he meant for any harm to come to Apollo. He’s just agonizingly stupid and trusting, of me—of the Creators, just like everyone in this City.

  He stares for a minute into my eyes, maybe to see if I’m telling the truth. I return his gaze with certainty. He’s satisfied. “Alright, I don’t want you to make assumptions about me. I’m really not a bad guy. I promise.” “I don’t and I know,” I appease him.

  “Well good. That’s why I talked with the Council, and they made Apollo your trainer again.”

  “Wait, what did you say?” No, no, no, no, I internally panic. I’m trying my best not to hyperventilate. “Look, I don’t think that’s a good idea with everything that’s happened,” I plead. “No, no…I think it’s great. I want you to really believe me when I say, I made a mistake and I did everything in my power to make it right.”

  The room is spinning. “Plus, he’s the best trainer we have, and my father told me that he is crucial to the development and expansion they have planned for your abilities. You are very important, Freya. I overhear my father discussing you regularly. But I think it is very important for us to pair…soon.” He lets out a breath, relaxing his massive shoulders.

  “Say something,” he says softly after a moment. “I mean, I still need a little bit of time,” I mumble.

  “For what? They aren’t going to let us pair with anyone else. I’m going to be on the Council and there are very few women even considered, with the accreditation and abilities, to be our wives. You’re it. There’s no one better for me. I knew this since my first gathering,” he persuades.

  “Next year is my limit. They will wonder why we are waiting. Even if we end up hating each other, you know they won’t let us be with anyone else. Our children are going to be too valuable; they’ll have some incredible traits,” he adds.

  I ponder this for a minute; his words really do start to bring a small, peaceful reassurance to my heart. Maybe I was getting carried away with my feelings, feelings that stemmed from being a little girl in love with a famous Ignis impetus player. This might just be the reality I was dealt in life.

  We walk back into the crowded hall. Lots of people are staring at Castor and me, admiration in their eyes. Maybe it’s inevitable. Apollo remains in the same section of the room as before, women crawling all over him; his grins sending them into fits of giggles followed by their cheeks burning rubicund. I can’t stand the way I’m feeling.

  There’s a hint of hatred boiling in the pit of my stomach, maybe derived from the impending pairing with Castor, but now the feelings are solely stemming from thoughts of Apollo. I want it to stop. This pain is agonizing.

  I need to shift my focus. Besides, Apollo was right. Here I am filled with misery when my life could be much worse. I could be living in the Pagos lacking food, and being enslaved by a society I don’t even understand.

  The pagos need education, but what would I
want the people to know? I’m not sure I can trust the education I’ve been given. Already it’s proven to be indoctrination since preschool. All sorts of ideas start circulating inside my head. I need silence. These thoughts are beginning to get crazy. Ruining our society to free an enslaved people could cost me everything. But what do I have to lose anymore?

  I turn back to Castor. “Alright,” I say. “Alright?— Alright what?” he quickly questions, a spark of curiosity gleaming from his cobalt eyes.

  “We’re engaged,” I say.

  He stands still for a moment dumbfounded, then smiles and leans in to kiss my cheek. I let him. I know I have to. I place my palm softly inside his strong, secure hand, our fingers interlock, and I walk with my head held high, right through the auditorium, under the chandelier and passed Apollo and the hoard of women.

  From the corner of my eye, I can see Apollo finally look at me. I’m forcing him to acknowledge everything, to show him what reality truly looks like. From my peripheral view I can see his blue eyes drop to Castor’s hand clasping mine and stay there. There’s no doubt in anyone’s mind now, even Apollo knows.

  I’m engaged to Castor Quinn.

  14

  I exit the train at 113. There is nothing inside me that is prepared to train under the direction of Apollo today. Survival mode seems to be taking over and the continued sweeping of my emotions is inevitable. Ugh, under the rug they go.

  Ursa and Pax officers are quietly going about their business in the main lobby when I squeeze into a secluded dead-end hallway to check the watch bill.

  The old billets are restored. All of the watches I was scheduled to stand with Apollo are right there, same as they always were. The heavy breathing begins; I feel trapped. How can we face each other now?

  When I finally get my training clothes on and into the gym, my nerves are causing me to sweat and feel nauseous. I can’t find Apollo anywhere. I decide a warm-up on the treadmill seems like a good idea and after 15 minutes of running, a shadow cautiously approaches me. My heavy heart starts beating faster, even cardio can’t get my heart pumping like Apollo. I pull out an earbud and glance over, not knowing how I’m going to handle myself when he confronts me.

  But it’s just sweaty Roman, looking like he’s already finished an intense session.

  “I’m your trainer for today,” he says. “Yeah— Why? Where’s Apollo?” I ask impatiently. “He put in a leave chit for today. He’s sick or something. I don’t know.”

  He’s avoiding me, but it’s probably for the best. I don’t understand anything anymore. He told me he loved me. I dreamed so many times that we would be allowed to pair, that we could be happy. He was the one hope I had to live a happy life in this City, to ignore the sadness, exhaustion, and terror outside these walls. That is all gone now. He wouldn’t even look at me, won’t even train me.

  We start on box jumps and make our way to the timed obstacle course. I beat my time, breaking the previous standing record…again. I’m thinking faster, moving faster, even while taking the daily dose of medication. We finish the day by knocking out as many pull-ups as we can.

  I glance in a brightly-lit mirror before I head to the showers. My skin glows from sweat, bronzed and clear, my eyes are alive, sparkling bluer than ever, and my hair hangs long, blond and beautiful. For the first time, in a long time, I really see myself.

  I see what the genetic enhancements have given me, sculpting my family over time: the tiny waist, broad shoulders, and strong hips. Maybe I should be grateful and stop overwhelming myself with what I can’t have. I’m healthy. I’m safe. This should be enough. I’ve never been one to drown in self-pity.

  Trying to let go, my focus remains transfixed on the pagos. I feel responsible and I’m starting to believe I could really help them be free.

  I’m about two seconds away from climbing into a heavenly shower, the steam clouding the room, when my tracker vibrates violently.

  Saevas breach.

  Again? Dressing as quickly as I’m physically capable, I confirm that I received the message; my response time will be three minutes. Ignoring the ache in my muscles, I sprint to my locker and dress in my uniform hastily. My boots are tied in seconds and I reach for the automatic pistols I keep in my locker. Scanning my bracelet, I shove them in my holster. I sprint but barely beat Roman to the roof; we take the connecting passage way to 151. The hover-craft are already fired up and ready to go. I grab the duffel bag with my logo and initials and place it under my jump seat. Roman starts strapping in beside me, and Nash hands me my antidote for today, pill form.

  I toss it in my mouth and swallow it down with the water in my bag. “I’m doing the brief today,” Nash shouts over the noise. “Saevas are infiltrating fields and greenhouses near 13 and 19. They are some of the furthest pagos from the city and are near a forest area that we’ve suspected to be where the Saevas are spawning from. You all need to take extra precautions in these areas.”

  His eyes drop and fixate on me. “Freya, you are lead again. Saros’s orders,” he says. I hold two fingers up, tilt my head and gesture a slightly arrogant salute to acknowledge him. He returns a similar expression of conceit and smiles.

  “Here we go,” he says inspiringly.

  I knew Apollo wouldn’t be here. He probably regrets faking sick to avoid me; he wouldn’t have done it had he known Saevas would cross our borders today.

  The sun is up, scorching hot, the brilliant yellow defying the blue sky. We put our eye protection and face shields on, everyone quiet, locked and loaded. My mind clears as I feel the familiar sensation of my response and thinking time slowly enhancing. It feels good.

  It takes approximately 15 minutes to reach the farthest pagos, and we see the mayhem unfolding, carnage and despair everywhere, the people fleeing for their lives. Hopelessness fills my chest, but then something else takes over, the familiar animal instinct, the need to defend, to protect, to fight for these people with everything I have.

  The hover-craft tilts for a few seconds before finally leveling out. The back hardly has time to open toward the chaos before my boots hit the moist soil with the familiar thud. Perfectly constructed rows of wheat span as far as the eye can see, the plants reaching for the sun with all their might, beginning to turn a striking golden-brown, protected by some sort of invisible structure. The smell of moist soil is overpowering.

  I bolt ahead of the rest of Ursa, like I’m expected to do, being driven by the need and determination to use everything inside me to protect these people.

  I’m excruciatingly frustrated that they have to wait for us, defenseless and dying, completely dependent on help for any chance to fight back, but I push the thought from my mind; I’ll think things through later.

  Once again, unafraid and without thought, I run full speed, through the field, the animal-like creatures turn in my direction, pausing the havoc and turmoil they’re inflicting. Some of them heavily covered in blood, it’s hard to ignore their lurid breathing and buttery eyes. They are the scariest beings I’ve ever seen.

  The fear harassing me hardens my resolve stronger against them, lifting my guns I fire swiftly, the rounds echo with indifference to the hearing protection secured tightly over my ears.

  The five Saevas near me drop dead within seconds, but I’m just beginning and still moving, weaving through the wheat, far from the vicinity of where we landed, I’m unable to hear their evil bodies slam against the soil.

  The vulgar groans and growls fall silent as I push forward, my footsteps pound insolently against the earth. Wielding the automatic pistols tightly, they move across my chest then back again, then across again, the rounds continue to unleash in furious resistance. I keep track mentally, the number of lifeless Saevas is reaching forty. The distorted human-like creatures growl and flock toward the forest, scampering like rats, afraid to die with their companions.

  Finally I pause long enough to really breathe since I exited the bird. Inhaling deep, I’m sure to check my surroundings. The dust and sm
oke burn my eyes, before drawing my attention to three Saevas disappearing into the darkness of the forest, vanishing into the shadows just outside the rows of wheat and bodies, camouflaged. I glance over my shoulder expecting to see my men, but no one is around. I must have moved quicker than I realized.

  There’s no way I can rest knowing those murderers got away. They could return and hurt more innocent people. A pursuit into the darkness is a good idea.

  After running for a few minutes, I drop to a low, squatting position. My eyes refocus on my surroundings, adjusting to the darkness. Lifting my eye protection, I hear movement to my left and fire without hesitation. The body of the first Saevas drops swiftly, almost silently.

  Sluggishly, I move forward, still crouching. I’m going to get you all. Something darts through the leaves above me, in the trees. Firing in the direction the commotion stemmed from, I hit nothing. I crouch again, lower, and make my way backward, inching toward a tree to cover my six.

  My body remains still, slinking back into the bushes, I wait. Where are you?

  The branches connected to the trunk behind me writhe in the blackness. And then I see it. It leaps high overhead, a perfect cloud of heinous frenzy above me; it begins to plummet back to earth, encasing me completely. Its massive arms remind me of the weary trunk against my back, solid and durable, covered with layers of decaying matter.

  What are you? I’m mesmerized by the threatening face. It’s horrifying. Amber hair cascades around the strong nape and head, a thick layer of something seemingly oxidizing is caked to its face, and the eyes almost glimmer in the darkness, revealing to be the recognizably hideous yellow I saw before, appearing more bloodshot the nearer it falls.