Here to Stay

by Sara Farizan

  “That’s the kind of tenacity I want to see.” Coach pointed at us. Apparently, we were a shining example for our teammates as we lay on the court like cats fighting over a ball of yarn. “Do it again.”

  Neither of us let go of the ball.

  “It’s a tie, you dopes. Get up. Try again,” Coach said.

  “Let go, man,” Drew muttered as he gave the ball a jerk.

  “You let go first,” I said, tugging back.

  “You!”

  “Why me?”

  Marcus and the other guys started to laugh at us. Coach blew his whistle.

  “Are you two serious?” Marcus said, trying to catch his breath, before busting into another fit of laughter. “Acting like kindergartners! At least kindergartners are cute.”

  Drew and I looked at each other and cracked up. We both let go of the ball and watched it roll down the court. Drew got up first and offered me his hand. I took it. Then we ran the drill again. He beat me to the ball but lost to Todd right after me. I watched him do his push-ups at the back of the line. He did fifteen.

  ***

  After practice, I killed time on the court shooting hoops to give Will and his pals time to change and leave before I showered. It was quiet, the lights were still on, but no one else was on the court or using the running track up above.

  “Hey,” I heard. I turned my head to find Drew, dressed in his varsity jacket and jeans, his sports bag slung over his shoulder.

  “Hey.” I stopped dribbling and held the ball in my hands.

  “Did Coach hold you back or something?”

  “No. I’m just shooting around,” I said. He could rest easy. There was no secret plot for me to take over his position.

  “Oh.” I expected him to leave after that, but I guess he couldn’t help himself. “I didn’t have anything to do with the, uh . . . the locker thing.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  “No, really, I’m not . . . I don’t want any problems with you. I’ve got enough to deal with.” He wanted to make sure his ass was covered.

  “Do you know who did it? Any of it?” I asked.

  He didn’t say anything. He had some idea, I knew he did, but he wasn’t going to tell me.

  “Whatever. Forget I asked.”

  “I honestly don’t know who sent that email.” I heard his sneakers squeak onto the court. “But I do know that I hate that Coach and Headmaster Clarkson think I might have done it. I’ve been in their offices more this past week than my whole time here. Did you say you thought it was me?”

  “Trust me, your name never left my mouth. But they’re not stupid. Everyone knows you’re not my biggest fan.” I turned away from him and bounced the ball before I took a shot. I laid a big fat brick against the rim. It bounced up high. I followed it, dribbling back to where I had last shot.

  “Why don’t you quit?” he asked. I turned around to look at him. There wasn’t a hint of malice in his voice or on his face. He was genuinely curious. “I mean, why not wait for all this stuff to die down? Coach will have you be a starter next season when all the seniors leave.”

  I could have quit. It would have been easy enough. They needed me. I would have loved to see Coach Johnson beg me to stay on the team.

  “I shouldn’t have to quit something I love. Would you quit?”

  Drew blinked at me. “I don’t have the option. Granger uses me to win basketball games, and I use Granger to get to college. That’s the deal.”

  I didn’t exactly feel heartbroken for the guy. Whatever he felt about the game, he still acted like an ass, but it hadn’t occurred to me that being on the team was a job for him.

  “I’m not quitting,” I said. I was stating a fact for him, and for myself. He put his bag down and raised his hands for the ball. I sent him a hard chest pass. He squared up, dribbled twice, and made his shot. The splash echoed throughout the gym. He held his follow-through arm in the air for me to make sure I got a good look at it, to let me know he was the best one on the court.

  “Fine. Don’t quit. But I wasn’t involved with any of that stuff that happened to you. Did I want to punch your face for interfering with my girl and me? Yeah. But my beef with you is on the court and that’s it. Got it?”

  “Not very sportsmanlike, Reggie. Not at all.”

  “That’s true, but there’s nothing like a little competition to rev up a player’s game.”

  “Sure. I got it.” I didn’t go after the ball. He backed away and picked up his bag, turning toward the door. “But I heard she’s not your girl anymore.”

  “Oooooh! Anyone got Icy Hot for that burn?”

  “Stings so good, Kevin!”

  I expected him to get angry and try to fight me again. Instead, his shoulders slumped and his neck sagged. “Working on that.” The poor sap really thought Erin Wheeler was going to take him back. “Will and the guys left already,” he said as he walked out of the gym.

  I scooped up the ball and dribbled to the spot Drew had made his perfect shot from. I missed. I kept shooting until I made it.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  I headed to the library for a moment alone with Stephanie to clear the air before the mascot meeting started.

  Posters that had the Gunners logo crossed out with a giant red X seemed to be popping up everywhere. Flyers were taped up in the cafeteria. Larger posters were placed next to the black-and-white photos of previous headmasters that hung in the schoolhouse hallways. Ms. McCrea had put one up in her classroom.

  I had mixed feelings about it. Part of me couldn’t stand the mascot anymore. It kept reminding me of the stupid email. We could have a giant octopus named Ollie, for all I cared. Maybe then I’d start to feel a little better. But I also didn’t like that pro-Gunner students were wearing their here to stay shirts more often.

  I entered the way-too-hot library and loosened my tie. Ms. Spooner was whispering to a kid at the front desk about a book he was checking out. The couches up front were occupied by students reading their paperbacks of Hemingway and Faulkner with highlighters in hand.

  Elle was sitting by herself at one of the tables toward the back when she saw me. I waved to her and walked over.

  “Hey,” she said. “Do you know if the meeting is still happening? Stephanie and Noah haven’t shown up yet.”

  “Oh. That’s weird. They’re usually so punctual.”

  “And inseparable. Or at least, it feels like Noah wants them to be.” Elle closed her notebook and put it in her backpack.

  “You noticed that too?” I dropped my voice to a whisper. “It’s kind of creepy.”

  “I would hate having someone be a constant shadow like that. But that’s her business, I guess.”

  “May I keep you company before you guys get going?” I shifted my weight from foot to foot.

  “You’re not staying for the meeting?” she asked, gesturing for me to sit in the chair across from her.

  I sat down. “Uh, no. I hadn’t planned on it.”

  “Oh.” She sounded disappointed.

  “I have a lot going on with school and the team.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. I couldn’t tell her I had only volunteered to get signatures because I wanted an excuse to hang around her.

  “Okay,” she said. She didn’t push me to explain.

  “To be honest, I kind of wish I hadn’t gotten involved,” I said. “Sorry. I’m not as brave as you and Stephanie are.”

  “Maybe not,” Elle said gently. “But I think you’re as brave as you need to be right now.”

  I swallowed. That warm, gooey marshmallow feeling in my chest was back again.

  “Are you okay?”

  “What?”

  “Well, you’re sweating a lot, and you got pink all of a sudden,” she said. She reached up to check my pulse under my neck with her fingers. Her worried
expression slowly turned into a grin.

  I laughed so hard. Maybe I still wasn’t great at talking to Elle, but I had come a long way since that sophomore dance.

  “Are you going to Erin’s party?” I asked. She removed her fingers from my throat.

  “I’m still on the fence. There are some people who will be there whom I’m not sure I want to spend time with anymore. Why?”

  “I was thinking of making an appearance. It was either that or crash a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese’s. I hear they have top-notch sheet cake, a show, the works.”

  She played along. “I do recall they had pretty good pizza at Chuck E. Cheese’s. Though I haven’t frequented that establishment in quite some time.”

  “Same. I haven’t been since last Saturday,” I joked.

  “Do they still have those animatronic robot characters? They were kind of freaky.”

  “You’re right. They were terrifying. I promise never to bring the place up again.” I crossed my heart. “I’m sure Erin and Jessica will be disappointed if you’re not at the party.”

  “I think Jessica will be thrilled to have Erin all to herself,” Elle said.

  “I thought you were all tight?” I wasn’t sure how cliques worked. I had never been a part of one.

  “Erin and I are. Jessica and Erin are. Jessica and me, not so much,” she answered. “Erin and Jessica were best friends at their old private school. When they got here freshman year, Erin and I clicked, but Jessica and I never really did. We like each other well enough, but we rarely hang out together without Erin. I think Jessica feels out of the loop since Erin’s been kind of secretive lately . . .” I didn’t think Elle knew who was providing Erin’s tutoring sessions. She hesitated before saying more.

  “Well, it’s their loss if you don’t go. And mine.”

  “What a cornball.”

  “I think it’s sweet, Reggie.”

  “He has more corn than the Iowa State Fair.”

  “I’ll think about it,” Elle said. “Though you may need to sell me more on this Chuck E. Cheese’s trip.”

  “I’ll try my best,” I said with a smile. “So—”

  Noah barged between us, rushing from the back of the library toward the door.

  “Noah, where’s the fire?” I called as he blew past. He stopped for a moment and looked at us like he was the kid from The Sixth Sense seeing dead people for the first time.

  “Hey, are we still meeting?” Elle asked.

  He stared straight through her with glassy eyes. He didn’t speak.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  He turned to me. His eyes bugged out of his face, and when he opened his mouth to speak, he gnashed his teeth. “Did you know?” His lips contorted. He looked like a guard dog snarling at a trespasser.

  “Know what?” I asked. I stood up, placing myself between Elle and him. When he realized I didn’t know what he was talking about, he left the building in a huff, pushing the double glass doors of the library open. Ms. Spooner called after him, upset that he’d made so much noise in her domain.

  “What on earth is wrong with him?” Elle whispered.

  “I’m not sure.”

  “I better get to practice.” Elle put on her coat. “I’ll text you if I end up at Erin’s.”

  “Really?”

  She pulled out her phone and gave it to me so I could enter my number. I think my hand trembled. I felt like a college kid who’d just been told he was about to be drafted to the NBA. I gave her phone back.

  “See you later, Bijan,” she said as she pocketed it. I watched her walk outside, zipping up her coat to brace herself against the bitter cold. Watching her go, I knew I wanted to be her favorite person someday.

  The sound of giggling nearby snapped me out of my Elle haze. Erin exited one of the study rooms. Stephanie followed close behind.

  “Hey, Stephanie,” I said. They both whipped around to face me.

  Stephanie looked anxious, but Erin kept grinning. “Hi, Bijan.”

  “What’s up?” Stephanie asked.

  “I wanted to talk to you before your meeting. We left things kind of . . . um . . . I wanted to squash the weird.”

  Stephanie’s eyes grew large and she put her hand to her forehead.

  “The meeting! I’m late! I completely lost track of time,” she said. Stephanie Bergner lost track of time? Didn’t she have a spreadsheet for every occasion?

  “I don’t think the meeting’s happening anymore,” I told her. Stephanie blinked and waited for an explanation. “I was talking to Elle while she was waiting for you, but she had to go to practice. Then Noah ran by us from the back of the library, all freaked out, and he stormed out of the building.”

  Stephanie blanched, but Erin mostly maintained her composure, aside from her eyes darting side to side.

  “I didn’t notice him,” Stephanie whispered.

  “I didn’t either,” Erin said with a twinge of concern in her voice. “Did he say anything?”

  “He asked me did I know, but he didn’t elaborate. He looked like he was about to have a fit.”

  Stephanie started fiddling with the cuff of her shirt, picking at the button as though she was trying to tear it off.

  Erin placed a hand over Stephanie’s and looked into her eyes. “It’s going to be fine,” she promised.

  Stephanie nodded, but Erin didn’t take her hand away until Stephanie stopped fidgeting. “I’ll wait for you in the parking lot. Okay?”

  “Okay,” Stephanie said. Erin took a deep breath and turned to me.

  “Hope to see you both at the party,” Erin said. She left us alone to roam the stacks.

  “I shouldn’t have been late.” She was saying it to herself, blaming herself, as she took a seat next to me.

  “I’m sure you can reschedule,” I said, touching her shoulder. I watched her eyes flit back and forth.

  “I think Noah may have seen something he shouldn’t have,” Stephanie said, more to herself than to me.

  “I’d offer to beat him up for you, but that didn’t work out so well last time.” It was supposed to be a joke, but comedy is all about timing, and mine was way off.

  “I didn’t ask you to intervene!” Stephanie snapped. “That argument was between Drew and me.”

  “No, but you asked me to be involved with that petition, and look how that turned out. Then you gave an interview about me to the school paper without letting me know?”

  “I thought they were going to make up, Reggie.”

  “We’re going to need to tune in to Secaucus, New Jersey, for the instant replay.”

  Stephanie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was probably something she’d learned in her conflict resolution seminar.

  “I am sorry about what happened to you,” she began. “I meant what I said to the Gazette.” I believed her. Stephanie Bergner was a lot of things, wore a lot of hats, but she wasn’t one to lie. “But I did not create that image of you. Nor did I force you to help me. I asked, and you agreed.”

  She was right. When she called me to get signatures for the petition, I could have said no. Still, couldn’t she just let it go? Her petition was doing way more harm than good.

  “You think changing the mascot is going to make this place Candy Land? You think if we pick a badger or a leopard instead of a colonial soldier, the school is going to be a more tolerant place with fewer bullies?”

  “Well, not if we pick a badger. That’s not very compelling.”

  I didn’t want to, but I chuckled.

  “So something more compelling than a badger will create a more enlightened student body. Got it.” I still wasn’t buying it. “Why do you have to bring it up now, though? I mean, junior year is almost over. We’ll be out of here soon. Who cares what the school mascot is?”

  Stephanie placed her h
ands flat on the table and looked at them for a moment. I didn’t rush her.

  “I have not had the easiest time at this school,” she said. “I know what people say about me and post about me online. But I can take it. I don’t like it, but I’m resilient enough to not let in get in my way. The Gunners logo, in my opinion, is a symbol of compliance. When the school supports the mascot instead of the students who are made uncomfortable by it, it means that the school feels those students should put up or shut up. The message is ‘If you don’t like it, go to somewhere else.’ I don’t want another present or future Granger student to feel they have to comply with the status quo when they don’t feel comfortable doing so.”

  She felt more strongly about this than I’d given her credit for. Stephanie put so much energy behind so many causes that it felt almost impossible to believe she cared about all of them. But maybe she really did.

  “I am sorry that I snapped at you the other day. I know the email isn’t your fault,” I said.

  “But you wish you hadn’t helped me out at the party or with Drew?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “But I do think we both could use all the friends we can get.”

  She nodded. My phone buzzed and I fished it out of my pocket. It was a text from a number I didn’t recognize.

  In case you want to talk. But not about Chuck E. Cheese robots. Maybe I’ll see you at Erin’s.

  “Good news?”

  “What?” I asked, looking up from my phone.

  “You’re smiling,” Stephanie said.

  “I think I’m going to go to Erin’s party after all,” I said, feeling a little cocky.

  “Oh.” Stephanie wriggled in her seat. “I haven’t decided whether I’ll attend.”

  “We were invited. By your tutee, the most popular girl in our grade, no less.” I was playing with fire.

  “Oh, is she?” Stephanie said, her voice oozing sarcasm. “I hadn’t noticed.”

  “She might be upset if we don’t go.”

  “She might be. There may, however, be some people who will be upset if we do go.” She was right. My cyberfriend might be there. A lot of the people who were mascot traditionalists and called Stephanie “Busted Bergner” would probably be there too.