“Mom isn’t going to like it.”
“She might surprise you. Adam is a catch.”
“Adam is Dad’s nephew.”
“How about your grandparents?”
“Mom’s parents will be happy, they’re already proud that I graduated from college. I’m the first on that side. Now I’m marrying a college graduate. They’ll throw a family potluck.”
“Sounds nice,” I said.
“They’re not hillbillies,” she said. “They’re blue collar. They still love Dad.”
“Your Dad wasn’t talking about your grandparents.”
“I know. He’s always been friendly with them. He’s right about Mom.”
I had never given much thought to Celeste’s family. There’s nothing like family mergers and different social and cultural approaches to future grandchildren to wake that sleeping giant of reality.
“How is it to have the two sides of your family so different?”
“It’s okay. They’re very sweet. They’re blue collar, but they’re not rednecks, except when they talk about politics. They love me like I’m extra special. I’m not close to any of my cousins; I don’t have anything in common with them. I’m sort of an outsider. They embarrass Mom so I never spent much time with them. She always tried to keep Glen and them separate. They don’t like him, even though he’s always been nice to them. They still talk about Dad like he’s above them somehow.”
“That must be hard for your mother.”
“She brought it on herself, she cheated on him. She didn’t want to go back there after they broke up. She works hard not to be from there. She’s so careful about how she dresses, has to have new furniture. She tries too hard, then doesn’t fit in either place.”
“How about Grandma and Grandpa Moon?”
“They know. Grandma walked in on us in the guest house.”
“Wow. How’d that go?”
“It was dark. She said, ‘Excuse me,’ and left. We haven’t stayed there since. You were Dad’s butterscotch.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“You were. I knew it and I was only seventeen. He’d never been happy like that before. It was the first time I’d ever heard him laugh out of control.”
“Don’t worry CC, everything will be fine. Jackie was surprised we didn’t know.”
“Are you going to the dinner? I’d like you to be there.”
“I don’t have a sitter, but I’ll stop by the house.”
We hugged good night and she went to Adam’s room. I was spent, but I’d changed my mind. I decided that I didn’t care about Celeste or Jon; I was going to be there for Chana. Not that I knew that when she walked in the door.
∞
The next morning I took the kids to the beach after breakfast. We sat on a bench overlooking the Children’s Pool, watched the barking seals and clapped for each wave that crashed against the seawall. Adam and Chana appeared hand-in-hand.
“How are things day one of the big reveal?” I asked.
“Fine,” said Adam. “We just talked to Jon.”
“It helped that he’d already talked to you,” said Chana. “He’s still worried that Mom will be a problem. You want us to take the kids for a while today?”
“Was that his suggestion?”
“He wants you to call him,” said Chana. “We thought we could take the kids, give you some time alone.”
“That’s sweet, but I don’t need time alone.”
“You going to see friends while you’re here?”
“No. I’m heading to L.A. the day after the wedding. See Karin and Amy. Maybe I’ll get a henna tattoo.”
“You could get Mike in a heart. That would drive Dad crazy.”
“I was thinking more of a lotus flower. You going to call your mom?”
“After the wedding. I don’t want her driving down here and disrupting the wedding,” said Chana. “Dad promised not to tell her. Luckily she’d called him about managing the Big Island restaurant before he talked to you so he couldn’t blab. I don’t know why she’s so worried about being broke; it’s a community property state. Grandpa Tom says he’ll help her invest her money.”
“Oh. Yeah,” I said. “I’m going to take the kids for a walk before lunch.”
“We’ll go with you,” said Chana.
I didn’t want company and I didn’t plan to take a walk. I planned to sit and stare off into space. Celeste wanted to come back and manage one of the restaurants? I asked them to take Meggie for ice cream. Adam carried her on his shoulders up the hill to the village. They were practicing being parents. I sat with Chance in one of the green huts on the cliff and watched waves crash. Jon called.
“How you doing?” he asked.
“Fine. Meggie’s with the kids.”
“They sound good together.”
“They’ll figure it out,” I said.
“How are you doing?”
“I said I’m fine. I’m going to have lunch with Marty when I’m in L.A. See about getting work. I don’t want to drop all those threads.”
“We decided to wait a few years,” he said.
“I don’t want to lose my career, not in this economy. You’re changing light bulbs to save money. Lots of people take their kids on location. They’re both young enough that I don’t have to worry about school.”
“What are you talking about? You’re not taking the kids on location. They live here.”
“They live with me. It would be better. You don’t want to raise kids alone again. It would free you up. You’ll be island hopping. I’ll be in one place. Maybe I can get something in Europe and they can learn a foreign language while they’re young. So how you feeling about Chana and Adam?”
“I told you I’m okay with it.”
“You said they sound good together. You didn’t say you were okay with it. How’d Celeste take the hillbillies?”
“I haven’t talked to her about it.”
“That’s right, you didn’t know when you talked to her about going to work for you.”
He was quiet.
“Chana told me,” I said. “I better get going, I’m meeting them in town. Chana looks beautiful in the dress. Meggie thinks she’s a princess. She looks just like Celeste.”
“Are you running away?” he asked.
“I don’t want to hear that anymore, Jon. I am busy. But I can still work and salvage at least part of my life.”
“It didn’t seem like the time to bring it up.”
“Nope. Never is. Speaking of which, I talked to Chana about birth control. They’ve got it covered better than you ever did when you were out there screwing everyone with a heartbeat. And your mother knows, she walked in on them. So I’ve told you my news. Gotta run.”
“Hannah.”
“Jon, I have babies to take care of and days of pretending to be happy to get through.”
Screwing heartbeats was a cheap shot. I felt like I was going to break out in hives.
∞
I took my own car to the cocktail party. I draped a loosely woven scarf across my sleeping Chance. It shielded him from beady eyes. Judith opened the door and sized me up.
“You’re still doing the whole India thing, I see,” she said.
“I am,” I said. “It’s comfortable when I’m nursing.”
Chance was in a stretchy suit; his chubby feet, in blue leather shoes with red sailboats, hung down like paws from under my scarf. She the scarf so she could see his face.
“He looks like your grandfather,” she said.
Beautiful little Meggie was freshly bathed and dressed in a sunny Grandma dress with matching sandals. Mom came up and took her hand.
“Come on, Margaret, let’s show everyone your pretty new outfit.”
Meggie hopped off smiling. I dropped my diaper bag by the front door. Judith picked it up and put it away in the closet. She’d never forgiven me for accidentally leaving one of Meggie’s dirty diapers on her patio lounge. You’d think I’d left a dead
cat.
“How is Jon doing with the situation?” she asked.
“He doesn’t consider it a situation.”
“What do think?”
“I think it’s none of my business,” I said.
“I imagine her real mother isn’t happy about the hillbillies.”
“I wouldn’t know. Are they here?”
“Yes. I’m afraid Chana is showing up the bride. She must take after her mother with that olive skin.”
“She does,” I said. “Hair too.”
“It’s good she and Margaret are so far apart in age, they won’t compete.”
“Was that hard for you?” I asked. “Competing with Mom.”
She appraised me. I don’t think I blinked.
“I’m sure Margaret will catch up some other way,” she said.
I couldn’t slap her, so I was out of responses. Eric had been watching from across the room and came over to rescue me.
“Come outside, I want to ask you something,” he said.
We stepped to the edge of the patio. The La Jolla shoreline stretched out in front of us, past the pier at Scripps Institute and on to the cliffs over Black’s Beach. I imagined the hang gliders afloat on swells of air above an earth cooling in the setting sun.
My father had planned to take me. He thought gliding first would teach me the fundamentals of flight so if the engine failed, I’d know I still had air under my wings. He hadn’t lived long enough to teach me that lesson. I could use it today. I took a deep breath.
“She is such a bitch,” I said. “She actually put down a four year-old.”
“She jumped Anna when we walked through the door. Mom gave her the hillbillies,” said Eric. “Listen. Anna and I have an idea. We wanted to run it by you before we mention it to Adam.”
Eric and Anna thought Adam should buy Chana her own string of pearls. It was a family tradition. There were so many strings of pearls when we showed up at family functions, you’d think we had some crazy uncle downtown L.A. who bought wholesale.
“Can Adam afford them?” I asked.
“Are you kidding? He probably makes more money than I do.”
“Well, I think it’s an incredibly beautiful idea,” I said.
It didn’t sound like I thought it was an incredibly beautiful idea.
“Forget Asp,” he said.
“It’s not her. Celeste wants to come back and manage one of the restaurants.”
“Jon’s not going to do that.”
“He might. I heard it from Chana. He didn’t want to bring it up. He didn’t say he wasn’t going to do it. I’ve decided to go back to work. I don’t want to get left with kids and no job. It’s like a bad fucking family cliché. Third generation woman left stranded to start over with kids.”
“Jon is not going to strand you.”
“No. I might change the pattern and leave him.”
“You need to stop saying fuck. It could end up being Chance’s first word.”
“You’re one to talk,” I said.
Anna came out on the patio and closed the door behind her. Chana watched us through the living room window.
“What do you think?” asked Anna.
“I think it’s a sodding beautiful idea,” I said.
Chance sighed under his shroud. I hoped he’d say Mama first. If he followed in Meggie’s footsteps, he’d say Papa for a year and ignore me.
“Is that good or bad?” she asked.
“It’s good,” said Eric. “She’s upset because Celeste wants to move back to the islands and work for Jon.”
“He’d never do that,” she said. “She called us hillbillies.”
“Jon did,” I said. “Celeste hasn’t called us anything yet. Penny and Tom know. Penny walked in on them.”
Eric grinned, huge.
“It was dark,” I said. “Penny said, ‘Excuse me.’ They haven’t been back.”
“That’s so Penny,” said Anna. “What about Celeste?”
“We don’t know what Jon’s going to do,” said Eric. “Hannah’s going back to work.”
“I’m going on location in Italy,” I said. “The kids can learn Italian and eat antipasto.”
“We never got our kids to eat antipasto,” said Eric.
“Fine. They can live on pasta and gelato,” I said.
“Jon will fight you for custody,” said Anna. “He’ll make you stay in Hawaii.”
“Then I won’t divorce him. I’ll just work far far away. I can get great childcare on location. They’ll be with their mother. He has to go to the other islands all the time. He works nights in a bar. It’s very unstable. Children should be with their mother.”
“Well, we should draw up a financial agreement. Protect your earnings so you don’t end up supporting Celeste,” she said. “He’ll need to sign something allowing you to take the kids across borders.”
“This is what happens when your sister-in-law practices family law,” said Eric.
Chana tapped on the window and gave us a questioning look. Anna went inside.
“Why couldn’t I just find someone when I was sixteen and get married?” I asked.
“Because you didn’t,” said Eric. “Let’s eat.”
“Asp said the kids aren’t welcome.”
“Screw Asp. It’s not her dinner.”
“Chance can hear, Eric,” I said. “Ted looks good. Susan is good for him.”
“Yeah. I know.”
His nostrils flared and his eyes looked pinched.
“Are you crying?” I asked.
“No. I’m pissed at Bettina for not being here for her daughter.”
“How’s Grace?” I asked.
“She’s fine. She’s a lesbian. We really like Jody.”
“Whoa. Too much information. Is that how you answer everyone?”
“No. I’m just getting used to the idea. I was practicing. Unlike Adam, she didn’t have any problem telling us.”
“Well, we’ll never hear her complain about Viagra.”
“I hope to be deaf before any of them complain about Medicare sex.”
“You going to use it?”
“Anna says no. I might sneak it.”
“Be careful. If Arthur is any indication, it’s like crack.”
He was about to say something, probably claim it was worth the addiction, when their daughter, Grace, came out on the patio and gave me a hug. I lifted my scarf so she could see Chance’s squished sleeping face.
“Luck,” she said. “Chance is French for luck. Everyone is getting ready to leave, Dad.”
Asp handed me the diaper bag as we stepped inside. Eric took it and guided me out the door and down the street with everyone else.
Meggie held Mom’s hand and hopped. Poor Mom. She teetered sideways on some pretty damn high heels. They weren’t the kind of shoes you wear when you’re trying to discourage your Viagra-charged husband. Arthur offered Mom his arm to steady her.
Eric leaned into my ear, “He doesn’t want coochie out of commission with a broken hip.”
I started laughing. Chana and Adam glanced back smiling with their easy connection. Our bride and groom led the parade like the royalty for a weekend that they were. His parents seemed at ease ushering a $2,000 dinner bill down the street.
I trudged on with a baby hitting the ten-pound mark strapped to my sweaty chest. Asp, in her expensive flats, and Uncle Jim brought up the rear. I stood up straighter. I knew she was sniping from behind.
Dinner was festive with toasts all around. Charlie’s parents made a point of spending time with each person. Their graciousness coiled Asp’s smile extra tight.
It was an Italian restaurant. Eric offered the antipasto plate to Meggie who took one lick of a pepper and put it back with her tongue sticking out. He smiled at me.
“Don’t put food back on the serving plate, Meggie,” I said. “You want some skettie and a meatball?”
I smiled at Eric.
“She’s four,” I said. “Wait until we get ther
e.”
Chana was watching us. She’d been watching since I first met Jon. Children of broken homes learn an extra dose of vigilance spared the Adams of the world.
∞
We got home and turned in. Jon had left a message saying he missed us. Missed me. I had enjoyed a few hours of distraction, but the background sound of wind chimes and surf, and his voice, crashed down on my heart. I invited Meggie to sleep with me. She curled up with her back against my stomach and sucked her thumb to soothe the undercurrent of tension. I felt sad for her. I stroked her hair until she started to breathe deeply into her nighttime world. Chance snuffled before finally giving up to sleep.
∞
Mom and Arthur stopped at the house the next day to give me a hand getting everyone ready. Eric took a picture of the three of us and sent it to Jon.
“That’s a little manipulative,” I said.
“I like Jon,” he said. “This is going to be hard for him.”
“We’re hillbillies.”
“So, now he has a picture of hillbillies.”
∞
The church was beautiful. Samantha had done a good job with the production design. The usher put us on the outside of the family aisle in case I needed to drag out a disruption. The parents and grandparents were ushered in, and the processional music started. Meggie eyed the flower girl. I thought there might be trouble, but she hopped up and down in the pew when Chana came in with Adam. I thought she would faint when Chana gave her a fluttery wave.
We all stood for the Wedding March. Samantha was radiant on Ted’s arm. She looked more like Ted than Bettina. He had put on a little weight living in the calm of a good marriage.
I could see Jon walking Chana down the aisle in a year. Celeste would be in the front row with Eric and Anna. Meggie would be the flower girl. Chance and I would be relegated to the back with Asp smiling wickedly. I hugged Chance so hard he squeaked. Better to be in Rome.
Meggie watched the ceremony, rapt. I think as much by seeing her sister, as the frothy cupcake bride. Eric was sneaking pictures with his phone and texting. He leaned down the row and shot a picture of me with the kids. I didn’t blame him. No matter what happened between Jon and me, Jon and Eric would be related for life.
Mary Ellen Courtney - Hannah Spring 02 - Spring Moon Page 6