“Excuse the mess. I’m doing some redecorating.”
“I see that. How come?”
“Because I needed to.” Cooper pulled the fridge open like he wanted to assault the thing and stopped his hand before reaching for what Chad assumed was a beer. Instead he took a breath, closed the door, and leaned his shoulder against it.
“You can take the spare room. Not much in there but a mattress and a dresser, but it will work. Sheets are in the top drawer.” He stuffed his hands into his back pockets. “You know where the bathroom is. We’ll have to share, but don’t go using my towels. There are some old blue ones in the cabinet.”
Chad smirked. For a guy, Cooper was particular about the oddest things. It used to drive Katie crazy to the point where she’d mess with his stuff just to tick him off.
His smile suddenly faded, and heat raced through every limb.
He had a lot to say to Katie. About leaving. About the drugs. About breaking Laila’s heart. She’d avoided him for five years, and he wasn’t about to let her get off without a confrontation. But that was an issue he’d deal with later.
“How’s the factory?” Chad continued through the dining room, his eyes immediately drawn to the tall liquor cabinet in the corner. He refused to let them linger and quickened his steps to the hallway.
“Good. Steady. I’m a crew leader now, and Hank says there’s already been some talk about management.”
“Hank, huh? How is Katie’s dad?”
“Okay, I guess. Maureen’s been pretty sick, but they finally found some medication that’s working.” Cooper shook his head. “Hank’s a great man. Not sure I would’ve made it through the past few years without him.”
“And Katie?” He shouldn’t have asked, but it just slipped out.
“You sure you’re ready for that conversation?”
Chad ran a finger along Cooper’s old dining table, his heart beating a bit faster. Katie leaving had been another horrific turning point when his life had gone from bad to far worse than he’d ever expected. The years between her disappearance and Laila changing the locks held some of the darkest moments in his life. Katie was supposed to be his best friend, yet she’d abandoned him when he needed her the most.
“No. I guess I’m not.”
“Yeah. Me either.” Cooper moved from the kitchen into the living room. “Feel free to grab the shower first. I’ve got some things I need to take care of.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
The spare bedroom wasn’t big, but it was nicer than his room at Mark’s. At least there was a double mattress, and the dresser had a fancy mirror attached to it. Of course, looking at himself in the mirror right now wasn’t his favorite pastime. Atlanta had been lonely, but it’d also been safe. Mark kept the house clear of temptations. His roommates made sure to keep him accountable with meetings, and he could convince himself that even though she was three hundred miles away, Laila still loved him.
My girl is perched on a towel at the beach in the tiniest bikini I’ve ever seen. I want to cover her up because every guy who passes has a rubber neck, and, well, I’m old-fashioned, I guess, ’cause I don’t like them looking.
I toss her my T-shirt. “You should put this on before you get a sunburn.” I’m full of it, and she knows it, but because she always puts me first, Laila slides the shirt over her head.
“Better?”
“Almost.” I roll from my towel to hers, cover her up more with the weight of my body. My fingertips slide down her face, her skin beneath them like the finest, rarest silk. And that’s what she is: rare. She gives every part of herself without hesitation or expectation, and for some blessed reason, she’s mine.
“I love you.” It’s the first time I’ve told her. I know we’re only sixteen, and people think we don’t know what it means to be in love, but I do; I lived in a house that didn’t have any of it.
Love is special, and it’s not something you take for granted.
“I love you too.” She says it so easily that it makes me want to toss my man card and do a dance right there on the sand.
“Promise me something?” I ask.
“Anything.”
“When I say I love you, will you always say it back?” I slide my hand down her arm, lace my fingers with hers. “I know I’m a screw up, and I’m sure I won’t always deserve to hear it, but will you say it anyway?” I hate my insecurity. I hate that I need her so much, but I do, and there’s no point in denying it.
She kisses my neck so softly; it feels like an angel’s whisper. “I promise.”
Chad continued to stare at himself in the mirror, no longer able to deny the truth that had followed him all the way down that dusty road.
For the first time in eleven years, she hadn’t said I love you back.
Unable to stop the emotion this time, he dropped to the bed, put his head in his hands, and wept.
The shower seemed to wash away his depression, and for the first time since stepping off the bus, Chad didn’t feel a pressing weight on his shoulders.
Cooper had been busy. The liquor cabinet was empty, and the case of Miller Chad had seen on the counter was now gone as well. He wished he could tell his friend not to worry about it, that having alcohol around was no biggie, but it would be a lie. And the smarter part of himself, the one that had fought the battle for nine straight months, felt a new surge of respect for the guy he had assumed would only be around for a season. Seven years later, Cooper had certainly shown he was the type to stick.
Chad made his way to the couch, flipped on the TV, and watched the news until Cooper emerged, towel drying his hair in shorts and a T-shirt. The guy had bulked up quite a bit since Chad saw him last, which seemed unnecessary since Cooper’s size had already intimidated everyone. Well, not everyone, which had been a big part of the problem for Cooper and Katie.
He tossed the towel on the dining chair. “That room work okay for you?”
“Yeah. It’s fine.”
“I can make a pizza.” He opened the freezer, shifted things around. “I have some chicken too, but it has to thaw. Just tell me what you need, and I’ll—”
“Coop.”
He glanced over his shoulder, and Chad leaned forward, set his elbows on his knees.
“What I need is for you to stop being so ridiculously polite and sit down. I’m not a charity case, but you’re sure making me feel like one.”
Cooper shut the freezer door and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. It’s just . . . different. You being here, sober. I don’t think you’ve ever been here when we weren’t partying or . . . you know.”
“Yeah, I know.” He didn’t say her name again, but Katie was the connection between them. He’d used Cooper a lot after she left. A place to crash. A friend who wouldn’t tell his wife how bad his addiction was getting. His ride to rehab, twice. “I’ve never said thank you.”
“No need. I should have done more.” For a moment Cooper looked embarrassed, which was uncomfortable for both of them. “I know I was a jerk on the phone the other night, and I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. I am proud of you, and I know Laila is gonna be too.”
“Yeah. Not so much.” Chad leaned back on the couch and muted the TV. “I could barely get her to look at me.”
“She’ll come around.” Cooper pulled two Dr Peppers from the fridge and tossed one his way. “So, what’s the plan?”
To get her back. To keep his word this time. To clean up the mess he’d made two years ago.
“I need to lay low for a few days, and then I need a job.”
“I can help you on the job end. Just tell me when you’re ready.” He lowered himself into the recliner and popped open the can. “Joe know you’re back?”
“No, and I’d like to keep it that way. In fact, apart from you and Laila, I don’t want anyone knowing I’m in town.” He was still short the money he needed, and the person he owed didn’t play around. Not when it came to loyalty and definitely not when it came to cash.
>
“They won’t hear it from me, but won’t Laila say something?”
Chad had considered that, but her choice of meeting place implied she wasn’t any more ready for Chad to go public than he was. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Okay. Just remember this town has eyes and ears everywhere. Our little Firecracker didn’t make it one mile past the water tower before the gossip started.”
A wave of heat rolled through his stomach and up his neck. “Well, I’m sure they had a lot to say to her. I know I certainly have a list with Katie Stone written right at the top.”
“Powell,” Cooper corrected, his voice as tight as his expression.
“What?”
“Laila didn’t tell you?” Cooper rolled his shoulders. “She got married. Blew into town, acted like none of us ever existed, and convinced the preacher’s kid and half of Fairfield that she’s changed.”
Chad couldn’t speak. He stared at his friend, more shocked than if he’d just been told the sun turned purple. “Katie married Asher Powell?” The guy was gangly, with glasses. She used to kick his chair and blow spitballs at his back.
“Yep. Right after New Year’s.” He took a swig of his soda like it had something harder in it, and knowing Cooper, he probably wished it did. “It’s like she never abandoned us. Like she gets a free pass to come back and start all over. But whatever. She’s not my problem anymore.” Cooper’s voice was way too angry and hurt for a man who no longer cared.
Chad should have warned him. He knew Katie would break his heart. It was what she always did. But to get married? That didn’t make any sense. Katie was all about freedom with no boundaries or limits.
Cooper tossed him a side-glance. “Katie’s not the same. Whoever that person is, it’s not my Firecracker.”
Chad fell back into the cushions and pretended to watch the news anchor talk about politics. He and Katie shared the same darkness, the same ferocious need to escape. If she used, he did, and vice versa. They were connected by it, like DNA they both shared.
Katie had been his greatest ally, but also his worst enemy. She’d been a part of every bad decision he’d ever made, and the catalyst for every good one. Imagining life in Fairfield without her friendship, without her laughter and insanity being a part of the world he’d share with Laila, it felt wrong. Bleak. Empty.
All this time, he’d been preparing to come back and be with Laila, to yell at Katie for deserting him after destroying his world. But never once did he consider that life wouldn’t go back to how it had always been—the three of them, united against the world. Katie had been their anchor, their glue. And now . . .
She’d moved on, forgotten him, and now Laila wanted to follow.
How in the world was he supposed to stop that?
CHAPTER 12
Laila checked the clock for the fifth time. The numbers hadn’t changed. Her palms were sweaty and her mouth dry, despite the fountain drink she’d ordered several minutes ago. She’d picked the Sandwich Hut because it was one of those places most people in Fairfield avoided. The attached multipump gas station jacked up their prices, and interstate travelers constantly funneled in and out.
She’d considered changing locations at least three times last night, but the subsequent flurry of butterflies kept her grounded. Being alone with Chad was too dangerous. And while this loud, sticky restaurant wasn’t ideal, it was, at least, safe.
Each time the door swung open and closed, her heart raced faster. She shouldn’t be surprised that he was late. Chad was always late. She checked her phone again. Okay, so he wasn’t late. He still had five minutes.
Closing her eyes, she willed her system to settle. She could do this coolly, pragmatically. This wasn’t a reunion; it was a business meeting.
“You’re early.”
Laila didn’t turn around. She’d never forget that faint drawl, not slow so much as rich, like a fine aged scotch. Whether he was telling a joke or yelling at the TV or whispering in her ear. That voice had haunted her for years.
“I always am,” she choked out.
He walked around the table and slid into the chair across from her. Of course, he’d used the side door, the one that gave her no warning, no preparation for how ridiculously good he looked in his snug gray T-shirt.
His demeanor was different today. Smoother, cockier, more like the guy whose charisma repeatedly captivated the town. When her eyes finally lifted to meet his, something like a smirk appeared on his face. Her cheeks burned.
“Nice bun.” His lips twitched. “You do that just for me?”
Laila ran her hands up the sides of her hair, tucking in any stray pieces she encountered. “Honestly, I wasn’t thinking of you at all.” Not totally true. He hated her hair tied back, and she enjoyed his poorly hidden annoyance a little too much.
“Sure you weren’t.” Chad leaned back in his chair, not the least bit fazed by her words. “So, how have you been?”
“Good. And you?” There, she could be just as calm, even if her hands were trembling against her plastic cup.
“Did you start taking classes at the community college like you wanted to?”
She hadn’t done anything she’d wanted to. “No, but I’m already working on next year.” Well, she’d picked up the application, but that was as far as it had gone.
“And Joe? He’s been good to you?”
“Yes, of course he has,” she said, feigning a coolness she no longer felt. “What’s with the small talk?”
“I’m just catching up. But if you want to get deeper, I can do that too.” He crossed his arms. They were more defined than ever, the sleeves tugging against his biceps. “Tell me about this guy you’re seeing.”
“I’m not having that conversation with you.”
“Then what conversation would you like to have?” He swallowed, and she watched his Adam’s apple move up and down, remembering all the kisses she had put there.
Stop thinking about kissing him.
“Why is this on me?” she asked. “I came because you asked me to give you an hour.”
“And I still have fifty-five minutes.” His eyes were devious as he stared at her. “You want something to eat?”
“No. This food sucks.” Almost as much as this conversation. What was he doing, anyway? He was too calm. Too . . . in control. She’d come prepared for his lies. Prepared for all the same types of manipulation tactics he’d pulled on her when she’d finally gathered enough willpower to leave him.
“Okay, a refill maybe?” Again, with that stupid grin.
“I’m fine, Chad. Let’s just . . . move this along, okay?”
He eyed her a little too closely, like an artist trying to sketch from memory. She bit her lip, looked off toward the frazzled cashier with a line wrapped around the corner.
His fingers grazed hers, warm and soft, and those pesky butterflies returned, the ones she hadn’t felt in years. The ones that only seemed to respond to him.
“I’ve thought of you every day.” He said it so softly that she felt her heart break all over again. The coolness he’d come in with was now replaced with a vulnerability she’d only seen in their most intimate moments.
Despite the ache in her chest, she allowed herself to look at him. Really look at him. His face was tan, his cheeks full and strong. He needed a haircut. Dark wisps fell over his forehead and almost into his eyes. Her fingers wanted to reach out and brush the strands away. Her heart wanted to know how he’d gotten to this point when the last time she’d seen him, he was bloody and bruised.
But instead, she slid her hand into her lap and reminded herself that this was the same man who’d broken his promises time and time again. “You said you wanted to explain. I’m listening.”
Chad cleared his throat, and the world seemed to come alive around them. People scooted by their table; kids begged parents for all types of junk food.
“I’m not really sure where to start.” He exhaled and settled back in his chair. “This environment isn’t e
xactly what I pictured.”
“Would you rather we do this in town? Let a thousand people weigh in on what we should say and do?”
“No. I’d rather do this alone.”
“That isn’t an option.” She glanced at her phone. “You’re at fifty minutes.”
He stretched his neck to each side, something he’d always done to calm himself. His frustration was evident and almost as simmering as hers. “So Katie’s home, I heard.”
For a second she wished he’d stuck with the small talk. They’d been linked, the three of them. Too much, she now realized.
He leaned in, leveled those piercing green eyes at her. “Is she why you’re so determined to move on? Why you didn’t wait for me?” Hurt and betrayal lined every word.
“There’s a lot we need to discuss about Katie and what happened the night she left, but Ben has nothing to do with any of it.”
“So you just forgave her. Just like that?”
“It took some time. Especially when I learned the truth.” A wave of resentment washed over her. Katie had given Chad the drugs that he overdosed on. “You should have told me.”
“The two people you loved the most basically destroyed each other in one night. Can you understand why I didn’t want to relive that?”
“I had a right to know that Katie was involved. But as usual, you kept secrets from me.”
His gaze locked with hers. “If I’d told you, would it have made a difference?”
“I don’t know.” Her shoulders fell because he was right. That night had ruined all of them, and no matter how many scenarios she’d imagined, the end always looked the same.
He took a breath, one that seemed to get both of their emotions under control. “Cooper told me you were in her wedding.”
“I was.”
“And yet, you wouldn’t even let me past the front door yesterday.” His bitterness came again, coating every word.
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