My Unexpected Hope

by Tammy L. Gray

  “Actually, I haven’t been pining. Not for a while now. I’ve been dating someone and it’s . . .” She hadn’t told Katie about Ben or her plans to move, but now seemed as good a time as any. “Well, it’s serious, I guess. Serious enough that I’m moving to be closer to him.”

  The admission sucked the air from the room, and for a second, the hurt on Katie’s face matched Chad’s. Laila pressed her palms to the counter. She wasn’t trying to hurt anyone, though that seemed to be all she was capable of doing lately. Ben, Chad, Joe. Now Katie.

  “Chad mentioned another guy, but I thought he was exaggerating.”

  “His name is Ben. He’s thirty, has a steady job, and doesn’t drink.” Laila stood to full height and resumed her glass wiping. Talking about Ben made her feel better. More centered. It reminded her that stability was possible. “I met him four months ago at that church I’ve been attending in Burchwood. We ended up at the same table during one of the fundraising events and hit it off.”

  “I have no idea what to say to that.” The shell-shocked look on Katie’s face said plenty.

  “You don’t have to say anything. But you of all people should understand where I’m coming from. Ben is just like Asher. He’s kind and generous. He’s stable and successful. But more than anything, he makes me believe I might be happy again one day.”

  But empathy was not the emotion on Katie’s face. Instead, she seemed angry, almost insulted by the words. “I didn’t settle for Asher.” Katie’s voice rose with indignation. “Nor was he in my life as a way to forget my feelings for someone else. Asher is my first love, my best friend.”

  Laila flinched at the sharp tone. “I didn’t say he wasn’t.”

  “You implied it. You compared him to Ben. And that’s what you’re saying, right? That Ben is a nice, easy consolation prize. A way to forget all your feelings for Chad.”

  She slid furious eyes to Katie, her throat so tight it hurt. “I’m not settling for Ben.”

  Katie met her with equal disdain. “Aren’t you? Do you even realize what you said, Laila? I might be happy one day. Might. You’ve been with the guy four months. You should know if you’re happy.” Katie took a breath and seemed to calm whatever temper had been simmering. “I know you. I know Chad. I’ve seen your life together. The good, the bad, the really bad. Unfortunately, I’ve been a part of that really bad equation more times than I like to remember.” Remorse leaked from Katie’s words as if they hurt her as much as they were ripping at Laila’s chest. “But one thing has never been in question. And that is that you and Chad love each other. A soul mates kind of love. The kind that happens once in a lifetime.”

  Laila couldn’t look at her. It was as if she’d opened her heart and poured it right out on Joe’s countertop.

  “Are you truly ready to let him go? I know you think it’s easy because you have a guy in the wings and you’re moving. But have you thought about the other end, Laila? Are you ready for Chad to fall in love with someone else?”

  That last statement went too far, its purpose solely to manipulate. Katie was doing what Katie did best—interfering. No matter how many times Laila had run to her old friend, how many times Katie had held her while she cried, the truth was right there in front of her.

  Katie would always choose Chad. They were the same.

  With a coolness she didn’t know she had inside, Laila met Katie’s eyes, and for once Katie was the one who pulled back from the stare down. “Chad can do whatever he wants. I don’t care anymore. And in the meantime, you and the rest of this idiotic town can continue to placate and justify all his actions.”

  “You know that’s not what I meant.”

  Laila crossed her arms. “I’m moving in a few weeks, and I’m starting over. You’re not the only one allowed a second chance.”

  “There is no perfect life, Laila. And if you expect Ben to bring you that, he’s going to disappoint you, just like Chad did.”

  An empty space unlocked inside her. “You should go. I still have a lot to do.”

  Katie opened her mouth to say more, but Laila didn’t stop to hear it. She rushed to the swinging kitchen door and disappeared before the tears told the real story. That Katie’s words hadn’t just wounded.

  They’d exposed Laila’s greatest fear.

  CHAPTER 20

  Chad sat with Katie in the corner of Weston’s Café’s outdoor patio, painfully aware that everyone was staring at him. The spot was intended to be less conspicuous, but Chad hadn’t realized that the foot traffic through downtown had picked up so much. Weston’s used to be the only business on this block. Now there were four other shops with painted windows and colorful signs announcing sales and specials.

  Through the slats in the wooden arbor, the afternoon sun shined down as if to spotlight the duo for the entire town to see. They’d only managed to take two bites of their food before at least ten different people came up to offer him a hug or express their joy in seeing him back in town. Chad tried not to cringe if they squeezed too tight and fought to return their cheeriness.

  The bruising had subsided a little, although the ache on his right side still caused his breath to catch if he twisted too fast. After Cooper had reamed him for an hour about meeting with Slim alone, he’d wrapped Chad’s swollen torso. According to his friend, the bones were likely not broken. But even still, it’d be weeks before he’d be able to move freely without wincing.

  “You know what this means,” Chad said after another passing acquaintance stopped and chatted for five minutes longer than he wanted.

  “That you now understand the immense burden your best friend has to endure under Fairfield’s bright, shining limelight?” Katie grinned, and he threw a balled napkin in her direction. She’d been watching with amusement for the last thirty minutes, enjoying his misery.

  “No. And don’t act like you’ve always hated it either.” They’d both been the type to bask in attention, but now all the niceties and fake smiles just felt daunting. “What I’d planned to say is that I better go see Barney. He’s going to be ticked I didn’t come to him first.”

  “Nah, your uncle loves you. In fact, when you go, you should ask him about a job. Between my dad, Cooper, and Barney, you’re practically a legacy hire.” She bit into her sandwich, able to discuss her ex with so little emotion that Chad felt a slight sting for his friend.

  He picked at his own food. “I have a record, though.”

  “One arrest for possession five years ago, and you got probation. They can work around it.”

  “Maybe.” Chad pushed the plate away. He hadn’t had much of an appetite since he’d hauled all his belongings out of Laila’s house.

  He’d expected her to call. At least once.

  He knew she missed him. He’d seen it in her eyes, the same wistful longing he felt every miserable day without her. And yet, despite having his number, and knowing where he was staying, Laila hadn’t made one move to indicate she cared for him at all.

  “I don’t know what else to do to make her forgive me.” Elbows on the table, Chad lowered his head to his hands.

  “Well, we made it almost forty minutes before the conversation turned to Laila. I guess that’s an improvement.”

  He glanced at her through his fingers, annoyed at her flippancy. “This isn’t a joke.”

  “I know that.” Her voice tightened, now on the defensive.

  “Then give me some advice. I’ve tried begging. I’ve tried explaining and showing her how much I’ve changed. I’ve tried discussing the good times, apologizing for the bad times. I’ve tried putting myself in her way so she’s forced to deal with me. Now, I’m backing off, but maybe that’s wrong.” Cooper certainly thought so, but Chad was out of options. “I don’t know what’s left to do.”

  Katie began to open her mouth, then paused. “You know what? It’s not my business. I’ve been in the middle since we were kids, and I need to stay out of it this time.”

  “Seriously? This is when you decide to beco
me Switzerland?” He dropped his hands. Katie was like the meddlesome little sister who always had an opinion, even when he didn’t want one. And now, when he needed her interference and influence, she was bailing on him?

  Katie shrugged. “Maybe I just understand the dynamics of a healthy relationship now. There has to be trust. You can’t force that.”

  “I think I liked you better before.” He scowled and quickly moved his leg when she tried to kick his shin. “I’m only sorta serious. This new you isn’t totally terrible.” Katie was the same fiery, sarcastic ball of energy he remembered, but without all the pressing darkness. She seemed content, happy, and he found himself feeling twinges of jealousy.

  Katie polished off the last of her meal and sucked on her straw, her gaze bouncing from the gaggle of people by the door and then back to him. The patio was clearing out, with most of the lunch crowd heading back to work. “Speaking of the new me, when are you finally going to talk to my husband?”

  “I’ve talked to your husband. We went to school together for twelve years.”

  “That’s not the same, and you know it. I want to you be a part of my new life, and Asher is at the center of it. You two could be friends if you’d give him a chance.” She was surprisingly loud, and a brief flash of hurt showed in her silvery eyes. Chad wasn’t trying to be difficult, but he also wouldn’t pretend that he was going to cast aside his past relationships the same way she had.

  “Okay, fine. You want the down-and-dirty truth?” he asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “Being friendly to Asher feels like a betrayal to Cooper.”

  “But that’s ridic—”

  He put up his hand, stopping her. “You may have moved on, and Lord knows that Cooper is trying to. But men are wired different. At least the two of us are. We’re territorial, yes, but we’re also loyal—sometimes to a fault. If Cooper chummed it up with Ben”—he said the name like a disease—“I’d be ticked.”

  “It’s not fair.” She crossed her arms, her diamond ring reflecting the sunlight. “You guys didn’t even like Cooper at first.”

  “What can I say? The man grows on you.”

  “Yeah, like a fungus,” she grumbled.

  Their familiar bantering settled the storm in his stomach, and he was finally able to continue with his half-eaten sandwich. He had been right when he’d told Cooper that his friendship with Katie would eventually win out over their past offenses. And if Katie could fall back into her old patterns with him, he just had to be patient and wait for Laila to do the same.

  “Ah crap.” Katie stiffened, eyeing the patio entrance.

  “What?” He twisted to find the source of her surprise, but his answer came when the empty chair at their table scraped against the ground.

  Slim spun the wooden seat around and sat with his arms perched on the back. “Well, looky here. My two favorite people, together again.” He grabbed a piece of bread from their basket and pinched off the corner, glancing between the two of them while chewing away at the mound in his mouth. “I feel a little hurt I wasn’t invited to the party.”

  Slim wore dress pants and a button-down shirt with each cuff rolled once. The edge of his tattoo peeked out from under his sleeve, but to the untrained eye, Fairfield’s most dangerous resident looked almost respectable. But that was what he excelled at. Blending in. Remaining unnoticed, untouched. Only those who darkened his doorstep or purchased his goodies understood the extent of his corruption.

  Chad knew he should say something, but what? The man held the power to destroy all of Chad’s progress, and had done just that many times before.

  Katie, of course, appeared completely unfazed by their new lunch guest. “Oh, Slim, we both know you never wait on invitations.” Her sarcasm practically rattled the glass as she added a packet of sweetener to her iced tea. An overt act of disrespect from a girl with no fear, and once again, Chad felt that ache of jealousy. “So what’s with the drop-in visit?”

  Slim swung all his attention to her. “Do I need an excuse to see my two best clients?”

  “Former clients,” she drew out, a masquerade of politeness dotting her voice.

  “And yet, it feels like just yesterday that you were banging on my front door.”

  “Well, who says stupidity doesn’t dissipate with age? I guess I’ve outgrown you.”

  “I guess you have.” Slim’s composed, imposing tone sent a new emotion down Chad’s spine. Not just fear for his stubborn best friend, but rage. His wounds weren’t even healed yet, and here she was poking a snake.

  Slowly standing, Slim pulled on the cuffs of his sleeves. “Katie, it’s been a pleasure, as always.” He turned dark, irritated eyes to Chad. “How is your side feeling? Still tender?”

  Chad absently pressed a hand against his throbbing rib. “It’s fine.”

  “If you need to take the edge off, just let me know.” Slim winked, and the atmosphere stilled until he strutted away, back out the way he came in.

  The minute he was gone, Chad leaned across the table, hands fisted. “What is wrong with you?” he hissed, so angry she became a blur in front of him. “You baited him on purpose.”

  “Wrong with me?” she shot back. “You sat there trembling like a lost kitten. Why not just hand him your sobriety chip and say, ‘Have at it’?” Chad flinched, but she wasn’t finished. “And what was with the ‘tender’ comment?”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Yes, it does!”

  “No, Katie, it doesn’t, because he took the money and my debt is paid. That was, until you shoved our sobriety in his face.” Chad ran frustrated hands down his cheeks, filled with an overwhelming need to hit something. “I have to get out of here.”

  “Chad.” He didn’t want to hear it. Once again, Katie’s stubbornness and arrogance was going to suck him back into the nightmare. “You have to stand up to him. It’s the only way he’ll ever leave you alone. Can’t you understand that?”

  “I understand that, as usual, I’m going to get hammered over your smart mouth.” He tossed a few dollars onto the table and shoved his chair in. “See you around.”

  He made it only two strides when he heard her say, “It’s not space Laila wants.”

  Pausing, he turned back. Her hard-armored shell was gone, replaced by the softness he still wasn’t quite used to seeing. An empty table stood between them, and Chad pressed his palm to its wood, partially to keep him sane. Katie had sent his emotions into a free fall with only a few choice words. “How do you know?”

  “Because she told me the same thing she told you. That I needed to give her time to forgive me. But time and space are her defense mechanism. What she really wanted from me was to see the difference. She wanted me to prove myself trustworthy again.”

  “I’ve been clean for almost ten months. What else can I do?”

  Katie fingered her wedding band like it gave her the answer. “Be the husband you were never capable of being. Allow her to be your partner.” She met his eyes, and once again she became his leader, his guidepost. “Tell her the truth. All of it.”

  Slowly, his anger surrendered. The man he used to be would never have told Laila about Slim. He’d conceal his wrongdoings or run away from the guilt. Katie was right. Trying to make Laila remember the boy she’d married wasn’t going to win her back. She had to see a new person. A man she could fall in love with all over again.

  CHAPTER 21

  When Laila pulled up to her house Saturday evening, the yard looked as if a small tornado had passed through it. Long tree limbs lay across the grass. Old boards were stacked in a pile by the porch next to two black trash bags.

  Laila parked the car and searched for any signs of life. “Uh, hello?” she called after slamming the car door.

  “Back here,” came a voice from the side of the house. She followed it around and practically stumbled when Chad appeared, shirtless with an ax in his hand. The dead bush he’d been hacking at lay on its side, a piece of root stubbornly fixed to the
ground.

  It had only been six days since she’d last engaged with him, but somehow the sight of him sober and strong made her world feel lighter.

  “W-what are you doing?” she stammered, taking in the dark tan ripple of muscle across his abdomen. When in the world had he grown those?

  “What I should have done years ago.” He tossed the ax to the ground and stretched his hands over his head. On the far side of his torso was a wide strip of white medical tape, the skin around it slightly yellowed as if the injury had happened a while ago. He caught her looking and quickly dropped his arms.

  She wanted to ask what happened, but the question felt too personal. “You don’t have to do all this,” she said instead.

  “I know, but you’re moving soon, and our jerk of a landlord is going to gouge you if he thinks you’re vulnerable. You’ve been a steady stream of income for years. But if Mr. Novak realizes I’m back taking care of things, he’ll behave.

  She knew he was right, so even though she wanted to refuse his help and shield her eyes from his bare skin, she simply focused on the wood siding and said, “Okay. Thanks.”

  “I can get this all bagged up in about an hour. Mind if I stay and finish?”

  “No, of course. Take as much time as you like. And thank you.” Feeling a sudden spark of nerves, Laila backed away. “Well, I’m going to”—she pointed over her shoulder—“head back inside. I’ve been running around all day, and I need to get these shoes off.”

  Chad wiped his forehead with the back of his arm. “What kind of running?”

  “Oh, this and that. I spent the day in Burchwood.” She didn’t need to say what she’d been doing or whom with. They both knew. “Anyway, I’ll bring out some lemonade if you’re thirsty.”