Until Jax

by Aurora Rose Reynolds

  “Ahhh. Well, chocolate chip pancakes are my favorite too. Do you mind if I stay and have one?”

  “Mama, can—” Hope pauses then looks at Ashlyn again.

  “Hope, this is my sister, Ashlyn. Ashlyn, you already know Princess Hope,” Jax introduces them.

  “I do.” Ashlyn curtsies, making Hope giggle and me smile.

  “Here, Ash.” He hands her a cup of coffee, which she takes and nudges his shoulder with hers, muttering, “Thanks.”

  Watching the two of them, I know that if things had been different, if my brother had lived, this is what our lives would have been like. We were always close, and after my dad passed away, we came to depend on each other even more.

  “Mama, can Ashlyn stay?” Hope asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

  “Of course.” I smile at her, dipping the ladle in the mix and pouring it on the griddle.

  “The key to the perfect chocolate chip pancake is the sprinkling of the chips,” Jax tells Hope, picking her up off the counter, holding her on his hip. “Do you think you can help sprinkle them?”

  “Yes.” She nods vigorously, sticking her hand into the bag. She dumps a handful of them on one pancake before he can show her what to do, making him chuckle.

  “Like this, sweetheart,” he says quietly, making a smiley face on one, and then a heart on another. Watching, she leans her head on his shoulder, and my heart flutters inside my chest so hard it feels like a bird beating against my ribcage.

  “My mom was saying you’re a hairstylist.”

  Pulling my eyes from Hope and Jax, I look at Ashlyn, who is leaning with her elbows on the countertop, her coffee cup between her hands.

  “Yeah, for a few years.” I nod, picking up my cup and taking a drink of coffee, wondering how Jax knew exactly how I liked it without even asking me.

  “You have great hair.” She smiles, and I self-consciously run my hand down my tangled strands.

  “I’m sure it looks crazy right now. I didn’t take the time last night to find my blow dryer after I washed it,” I mumble, and she shakes her head.

  “It looks sexy, wild,” she assures me, which catches me off guard. Most of my life, I have been surrounded by women who are quick to cut you down or give a backhanded compliment. But there was no malice in her eyes when Ashlyn spoke. I’m getting the feeling the Mayson’s are all just very good people, and I really need good people in my life right now.

  “Thank you,” I say for what feels like the billionth time in the last seventy-two hours.

  “Just speaking the truth, girl.” She grins then looks at Hope, who is laughing at something Jax said. “She’s really adorable, and seems to have already wrapped big, bad Jax Mayson around her tiny little finger,” she whispers, winking at me.

  Looking at Jax talking softly to Hope, I wonder how often he does this kind of thing. For all I know, he could have women with kids over all the time, I think, while something I don’t like settles in the pit of my stomach.

  “Who’s ready for pancakes?” Jax asks.

  “I am!” Hope yells loudly, making him chuckle.

  “What happened to my little mouse?” I ask her, and she wiggles her nose at me over his shoulder.

  “Inside voice, Angel,” I remind her softly.

  “Okay, Mama.” She sighs.

  “Do you have a table?” I ask Jax, looking around and trying to remember if I saw one last night when he showed us around the house.

  “No. Shit,” he mutters, setting Hope back on the counter.

  “You said a naudy word,” she tells him.

  “I meant crud,” he says, trying to look mollified but failing.

  Her head tilts to the side, studying him, then she looks at me. “Mama, is crud a bad word?”

  “No, Angel.” I shake my head at her, pressing my lips together to keep from laughing when she starts mumbling “crud” under her breathe over and over again, making Jax grimace. One thing I learned early on is never tell a three-year-old not to say something, because suddenly that becomes their favorite word.

  “I don’t have a dining table.”

  “It’s okay; we can eat here,” I assure him, watching as Ashlyn goes to one of the cabinets and pulls down plates.

  “I’ll pick up some stools for the island today while I’m out with my dad,” he says then looks around, his eyes going to the stuff on the floor. “And I’ll get this stuff cleaned up too.”

  “Jax,” I say softly, waiting for his eyes to come to me. “It’s really okay. Please, don’t do anything. You’ve already done too much.”

  “Ellie—”

  He starts to say something, but is cut off when, “Honey!” is yelled through the house.

  “Fuck, I need to take everyone’s keys back,” he grumbles, making me laugh, causing a smile to twitch his lips.

  “You said a naudy word,” Hope pauses then adds, “again.”

  His chest expands on a deep breath and his face softens when he looks at her, muttering, “Sorry, sweetheart,” as his parents walk into the kitchen.

  “Ellie,” Lilly says in greeting, giving me a warm hug.

  “Hi.” I smile then turn slightly to receive a hug from his dad, Cash, whom I met in the hospital before Jax took me to get Hope.

  “How are you holding up, honey?” he asks gently while Lilly moves to Jax, kissing his cheek.

  “Good,” I say sincerely then pick Hope up off the counter. “I would like you guys to meet Hope. Hope, this is Jax and Ashlyn’s dad and mom, Cash and Lilly.”

  “Hi.” Hope smiles shyly, leaning her head on my shoulder.

  “It’s nice to finally meet you, Hope,” Lilly says with a soft look on her face while reaching out, running her hand down Hope’s cheek.

  “Hi, Hope.” Cash wraps his arm around his wife’s back, pulling her closer to his side.

  “Ax said naudy words,” she tells his parents, and I pull my bottom lip into my mouth as Ashlyn starts to laugh at my side and Jax groans, tilting his head back.

  “He did, did he?” Lilly frowns over her shoulder at her son.

  “Two times,” she says, holding up three fingers, the third one coming up because her little fingers are so chubby.

  “Are we supposed to tattle?” I ask her, and she frowns while shaking her head. “Good, now are you ready to eat?” I lift a brow and she nods, so I set her back on the counter, since there is no table, and cut up her pancake, placing it next to her.

  “Here, sweetheart,” Jax says, giving her a Solo cup with orange juice in it.

  I give him an appreciative look, and he shrugs then asks, “Are you going to eat something?”

  “I’m going on a diet, so I’ll have a banana or something,” I tell him absently, watching Hope eat.

  “Why are you going on a diet?” He frowns, checking me out and making me blush as his eyes get darker. “You look perfect.”

  “I realized how out of shape I was when…” I stop and look at Hope, not wanting her to hear what happened. “I just need to get into better shape,” I whisper.

  “I can teach you some self-defense stuff,” he says quietly.

  My eyes run over him and I feel my cheeks heat again. He’s not just in good shape; his body is perfect. I doubt he has an ounce of fat on him. Pulling my eyes from his abs, I look into his eyes.

  “I just want to be able to run without feeling like I’m having a stroke,” I say, watching his jaw clench.

  “You won’t need to run again,” he growls.

  “That may be true, but I need to know for myself that I can,” I tell him, reaching out and squeezing his bicep. His eyes drop to my hand and his body relaxes.

  “I’d still like to show you some stuff,” he presses.

  “All right,” I mutter then look around the kitchen, seeing everyone watching us. My eyes stop on Lilly, whose eyes are on my hand, which I didn’t realize is now against his chest, over his heart. Pulling it away quickly, I mumble an apology and step away from him, going to Hope’s side.


  “Are you finished, Angel?” I ask her, needing to get away from Jax.

  “Yes.” She smiles with chocolate around her mouth.

  “Let’s get you cleaned up.” I laugh, pulling a paper towel off the holder and wiping her face.

  “Can I have a baff?”

  “Tonight,” I tell her, picking her up off the counter and turning to face the room of people, who are still watching us. “We’re gonna go get ready.”

  “Sure, honey,” Lilly says getting a coffee mug while Cash nods, and Jax just stands with his arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his face.

  “It was nice meeting you, Ashlyn.” I smile as I pass her.

  “We’ll have coffee sometime soon.”

  “I’d like that.” I nod and head up to the second floor, where I get Hope ready first, in a pair of leggings, a sweater dress, and her ballet flats. Going to my room, I dig through the garbage bags of clothes until I find my trusty black jeans that always look perfect, a black t-shirt that scoops in the front just enough to give a hint of cleavage, my black ankle boots, and a chunky silver and turquoise necklace that makes the outfit look more dressy.

  “Let’s go brush our teeth and hair.” I hold out my hand to Hope, who is sitting on the bed, playing with her favorite doll.

  Walking across the hallway, I notice Jax’s door is closed, but I can hear him talking loudly to someone on the other side. Closing the bathroom door, I give Hope her toothbrush while I fix her hair into a French braid. Once she’s done, I brush my teeth while looking myself over, seeing sleep has done wonders. The bags under my eyes are gone, and Ashlyn was right; my hair actually looks good with crazy waves. Taking my hair serum, I squeeze some into my palm, using it just on the ends to tame them a bit. All I use on my face is some mascara and a little blush.

  “Can I have makeup?” Hope asks, watching me.

  “How about lip-gloss?”

  She nods, pulling one of the pink ones from my makeup bag and putting it on herself, so I bend to her level and let her put some on me as well. “What do you think?”

  “You look pwetty.” She smiles, patting my cheek.

  “So do you.” I tell her giving her a kiss.

  When I open the bathroom door, Jax is standing in the hall leaning against the wall with his phone in his hand, frowning at something on the screen. When his head lifts and our eyes meet, I look down at Hope.

  “Why don’t you go grab a couple of your dolls to take with us, Angel?” I say, and then watch as she heads to her room before looking at Jax again and asking, “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, baby, I just wanted to see if you need any money before I take off.”

  “What?” I ask, feeling something strange creep over me, making my insides turn with unease.

  “I know your purse is gone, and it’ll take a few days to get a new card from the bank. I don’t know if you need to get anything from the store for you or Hope.”

  “Oh,” I breathe out. “I didn’t even think about that. I need to see about getting a new ID. I have the debit card from my savings account that has about four thousand dollars in it, which can hold us over until I get everything else worked out,” I mutter absently. I can’t believe I forgot my purse is gone. I didn’t have much in it, maybe forty dollars, my cellphone, and my wallet with my bank card. I don’t even have a credit card in my name.

  “Are you sure you don’t want some cash just in case?”

  “I’m sure,” I say, shaking my head, when Hope comes out of her room with her doll and doll stroller. “Millie wants to go for a walk, Mama.”

  “Well, you’re gonna have to wait until we get back here later to take her for a walk.”

  “But she really wants to go,” she pouts.

  “Hope,” I say her name in my ‘mom voice’, tilting my head to the side and waiting for her to take the stroller back into the room before shaking my head and meeting Jax’s gaze again.

  “Are you gonna be okay with my mom?” he asks, reaching out and touching my hand so briefly I wonder if it even happened.

  “Of course, your mom seems really nice.”

  “If you need me, just call.”

  “I’m sure we’ll be okay, and that won’t be necessary,” I assure him.

  “I know, but call anyways.”

  “You know I don’t have a phone, right?” I ask softly.

  “Sh—” His eyes move to Hope, who walks out to stand next to me, and then his eyes sweep up to meet mine again. “I mean, I’ll get you one today.”

  “I can get my own phone.”

  “You’re gonna be busy. I don’t mind getting one,” he says gently.

  Pulling in a deep breath, I let it out slowly. I’m not used to anyone looking out for me, but maybe it’s time I learn to accept help from other people.

  “Okay, but I’ll give you the money back for it when I get home. Can you make sure it’s not more than fifty? I need to stick to a budget.”

  “Sure,” he agrees immediately, making me feel like that was way too easy. I don’t know Jax very well, but I’m getting the feeling he’s the kind of guy who’s used to getting his way, even if it’s by plowing you over.

  “Also, here,” he says, handing me some kind of bar in a shiny wrapper.

  “What’s this?” I frown, flipping it over and reading what’s in it.

  “You need to eat.”

  “This has almost a thousand calories in it,” I tell him, holding it back towards him. If I’m going to get in better shape, I’ll need to lose a little bit of weight. In order to do that, I will need to keep under around thirteen hundred calories a day. Eating that bar would leave me just a few messily calories for the rest of the day.

  “It’s good for you.”

  “Thank you, but I’ll just grab a banana on the way out,” I say, holding the bar closer to him until he takes it back.

  “Ellie, you need to eat,” he insists.

  “I will.”

  “You need to eat something more than a banana. Your body needs protein to run more efficiently.”

  “You’re annoying,” I mumble, snatching the bar from him, ripping it open, and taking a large bite, which I chew twice before shoving the rest back at him and running to the bathroom, spitting it out in the toilet. It tastes like chalk and peanut butter—not a good combo, if you ask me. How anyone would willingly eat that, I don’t even know.

  When I step back out into the hall after rinsing my mouth out and brushing my teeth again, both Hope and Jax are laughing hysterically.

  “Do you eat that crap?” I ask Jax, and he grins, his body still shaking with laughter.

  “Yeah, before workouts.” He chuckles.

  “Why in the world would you waste perfectly good calories on that garbage?” I ask, and he places his hand on his stomach and laughs harder while Hope giggles.

  Rolling my eyes at them, I ask Hope, “Are you ready to go?”

  “Yep.” She smiles, taking my hand and tugging me toward the stairs. When we reach the first floor, Cash and Lilly are waiting at the bottom, both smiling strangely at us.

  “Is everything okay?” I ask, grabbing Hope’s coat and then mine.

  “Perfect.” Lilly smiles then turns to kiss her husband when he tells her that he and Jax are gonna head out.

  “We’ll do dinner here tonight, babe,” Jax says, and I turn to look at him.

  “Uh…sure,” I agree, even though I don’t know how I feel about dinner with Jax. This situation is already feeling way more intimate than I’m ready for.

  “Also, here’s your key, and you remember the code, right?”

  “I do,” I say, placing the key in the front pocket of my jeans.

  “Have a good day, baby.” He smiles, making my stomach do something strange.

  “Later,” I murmur, watching him tap the end of Hope’s nose, making her beam before walking out the door.

  “Ready, honey?” Lilly asks, standing in the open doorway.

  “Ready.” I smile, taking Hop
e’s hand in mine and following her outside. “Wait, I need to get Hope’s car seat.”

  “Jax already took care of it.”

  “Oh,” I mutter, and she smirks, opening the backdoor to her car. Picking Hope up, I get her buckled in and hand her doll over before getting into the passenger seat.

  “How far is the salon from the house?” I ask Lilly.

  “About a five minute drive.”

  That’s good; I could walk to work. I still need to work out a babysitter for Hope, but I’m hoping I can find a child care program she can go into while I work, since that’s what she did before and she loved it.

  When we pull up in front of the salon, I take in the area around it. It’s in a shopping plaza, which would mean a lot of walk-ins, and since I needed to build a new clientele, that would be perfect. In Kentucky, I owned my chair at the salon I worked in. I enjoyed it, because I made my own hours and only worked when I had someone coming in. Here, I will be starting from the bottom until I have enough of a base that I could maybe open my own place or rent a chair from someone.

  “I’m really nervous,” I blurt as Lilly turns off her car.

  “You’re gonna be great. Frankie is really sweet. You’re gonna love him, and the girls who work with him are all really nice too.”

  “I know you’re probably right, but I’ve never really done this. The salon I worked at is the same one I interned at while I was in school. I don’t even remember what it’s like to interview.”

  “You’ve already got the job, honey. You’re just going to meet him. I’ll be out here with Hope if you need me.”

  “You’re not going in with me?” I ask, feeling like I want her to hold my hand, which is strange, since I have never had anyone around to hold my hand before.

  “I can if you want. I just figured you would want to go in alone.” Lilly shrugs.

  “No, you’re right. I should go in by myself,” I mumble, looking at the shop.

  “He knows you’re coming. I sent him a text when we left the house. It’ll be okay, honey. Take a breath.”

  Pulling in a breath, I let it out slowly then put my hand on the door handle. “Wish me luck.”

  “Good luck, Mama,” Hope says from the backseat.

  “Thanks, Angel,” I whisper as Lilly encourages, “Go get ’em.”