Until Jax

by Aurora Rose Reynolds

  “Hey, sweetheart.” He smiles, kissing Hope’s cheek before setting her to the ground and taking her hand.

  “Uhh…” I breathe as my heartbeat accelerates and he gets closer to me.

  “Mama, Ax is here,” Hope points out happily, and I open my mouth then close it again, because nothing comes out.

  “Hey, baby.” Jax bends his head toward me, touching his mouth to mine. Once again, I notice the way his lips feel—the way they are so warm, the way the top feels softer than the bottom, the way even his lips taste like cinnamon and mint, and the way I want to lean in and get closer.

  “Uhh…” I stutter, opening my eyes and looking up at him.

  “We’re gonna see fwamingos,” Hope tells Jax, tugging on his hand, not mentioning he kissed me, like it’s completely normal for him to do it.

  “Sounds good, sweetheart.” Jax smiles, and Hope grins back then gets into the stroller, pulling the sun visor over her head, which in turn leaves me alone with him.

  I swear my kid is too damn smart for her own good.

  “Let’s go see the flamingos, baby,” Jax says, pulling me out of my stupor by wrapping arm around my waist and then shoving his hand down the back pocket of my jeans.

  “Jax,” I hiss under my breath, twisting my hips to try to dislodge him.

  “No,” he snarls under his breath near my ear. “You left me. I can’t even tell you how badly I want to bend you over something and spank the shit out of you right now.” He sounds almost pained as he growls the words at me, causing my heartbeat to thump in my ears.

  “You were kissing another woman,” I whisper-yell, feeling that pain in my chest once more, and he stops the stroller, turns me, putting my back to him, and wraps his arms around my body.

  “You know I fucking wasn’t, Ellie, so do not even try to pull that bullshit card with me,” he growls into my hair. I’m sure that to passersby, we look like a couple embracing. His body tight to the back of mine, one arm around my waist, the other hand up and wrapped under my jaw, holding my head to the side. I couldn’t move, even if I wanted to, and I can honestly say I don’t want to. I know he’s right. I knew when I pulled out of the driveway, but I’m so scared. So damn scared, I think as I close my eyes.

  “Feel this?” he asks against my ear, pressing his erection into my back. “This only happens for you. No one else, baby, and that’s the fucking truth. You have unknowingly ruined me for all other women.”

  Shaking my head, I whisper, “Jax,” while dropping my head until my chin rests on his arm.

  “I was going to tell her to leave when I opened the door, but she ambushed me like a fucking spider monkey, catching me off guard. I swear I would never fucking do that,” he whispers against my neck as his hand moves to spread against my abdomen, holding me even closer to him.

  “I hated it,” I tell him honestly.

  “I’m sorry,” he breathes against my skin, causing the fine hairs on my body to stand on end and my body to lean back into his as my head tips to the side, wanting to feel that sensation again. “We’ll talk about it, but first, we gotta take Hope to see the flamingos,” he says, kissing that spot he just whispered against before turning me again and placing his hand back into my jeans pocket, anchoring me against his side as we walk.

  “What just happened?” I ask him quietly as we take a trail up a dirt path through a bunch of trees that give the path shade.

  “We just had our first fight.”

  I feel my face scrunch up as I turn to face him, and he smiles, kissing my nose. “Okay, but how did you know I was here?”

  “Your car has a tracker.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal while my heart gets warm. My stupid heart thinks it’s hot that he’s a stalker.

  “It has a tracker?” I repeat, and he must recognize my tone, because he slows down and turns toward me again.

  “It has a tracker, Ellie.” He nods then adds, “You and Hope are in that car. You both are coming to mean something to me, so if you want to be pissed about it, you’re going to just have to get over it. It’s gonna stay, and there isn’t anything you can say that will make me take it out,” he says causally, like we’re talking about the things he needs to pick up from the grocery store.

  “You’re crazy,” I whisper, taking a deep gulp of air. “You’re seriously cuckoo. Like, white coat, padded room crazy,” I ramble, looking at him.

  “Wasn’t crazy before you, so if I get diagnosed as mentally unstable, that’s all you, baby.” He grins and I cover my face.

  “I’m going to tell your mom about this,” I tell him, knowing his mom is probably the only person on this earth that he’s scared of. Hopefully she can help me fix her son, or get him medicated, I think as we begin to walk again.

  “Baby, she’s had a tracker in every car she’s owned since she and my dad got together.”

  “So this is obviously genetic. Your dad is crazy too,” I tell him then feel myself slow down when I see Jax grinning. “What?” I question, tilting my head and studying him.

  “Nothing. You’re just really fucking cute when you ramble.”

  “I don’t ramble. Sometimes I have a lot to say about stuff, but I don’t ramble,” I gripe, knowing damn well I ramble. I have done it since I can remember. I tend to over share or say too much, when I should just shut up.

  “Fine, you don’t ramble.” He smiles again then leans to the side of the stroller, looking in on Hope. “She’s out.”

  “She had an early morning,” I say as we start walking again. “How mad at me is Ashlyn?” I ask after a long moment of silence.

  “She’s worried,” he says quietly, pulling me a little closer to his side. “She knows how I feel about you. She also knows that women can be bitches, so she’s worried you’re gonna freak and leave all of us behind if something like this happens again.”

  I want to tell him I won’t leave, that I’m brave and strong, but I know that’s a lie, so I keep my mouth closed and my side pressed tight to his as we move along the shaded path.

  “I know we just met, Ellie, but I need you to know that, while we’re figuring us out, I’m all in.”

  “I have a daughter, Jax,” I remind him quietly.

  “So? What does Hope have to do with this?”

  “I have a kid. Dating me is not as simple as dating a girl who has no responsibilities. I have a human that counts on me for everything, a mini person who lives, breathes, eats, and needs loads of attention,” I tell him, and he stops walking and turns me to face him.

  “I know this, Ellie.” He smiles, leaning in and kissing my forehead before whispering there, “I know this, and I’m still here with you right now. If I wanted to be with someone else, I could be, but I’m not. I want this. I want you and Hope.”

  “You scare me,” I admit, leaning my forehead into his chest.

  “You scare me too, baby,” he says, taking my hand and placing it over his heart. “Do you feel that?” he asks as his heart beats against the palm of my hand.

  “Yes.”

  “Twice, you’ve taken it. The first time I saw you looking so afraid, like the world was against you when you walked out of those woods alone, I gave it to you. Today, when you pulled away from the house, you took it. It knows it belongs to you, so it willingly went with you when you left. It’s yours, Ellie, if you want it.”

  “You’re really good at this kind of thing, aren’t you?” I ask him, lifting my eyes to meet his.

  “Never done anything like this before,” he confesses, making my breath catch and my body melt deeper into his.

  “There’s so much…” I pause and lean my forehead against his chest again while locking my jaw. I don’t know why I haven’t told him about Hope’s dad. Well, I guess I do. When people find out she’s not my biological daughter, they have a tendency to act like she shouldn’t call me her mom, that I shouldn’t consider her my daughter. They don’t understand that she’s mine. No, I didn’t give birth to her, but I have taken care of her since she was just a f
ew weeks old. I was the one who endured sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and bottle feedings. I was there the first time she rolled over, her first step. I will be there for every first she has. She’s the one person in this world who loves me, really loves me, unconditionally. She was my brother’s Hope for a brighter future, and now she’s mine.

  “You know the thing about time?” Jax asks softly, wrapping his hand around my jaw until my eyes meet his.

  “What?” I whisper, seeing the look of longing and optimism in his gaze that has my heart beating a little harder.

  “There’s always more of it. It’s one thing that will always be available, one resource that will never diminish. We have time, Ellie. I just need a chance.”

  Could I do that? Give him a chance and risk being hurt again by someone I care about? I don’t know if I can, but my stomach hurts when I think about not trying, when I think about not seeing if, for once in my life, I can have what other people have, a future with someone, someone in my corner and at my side when I need them, someone to lean on when the road gets bumpy. I know Hope adores him, and he’s someone I trust with her.

  “I want to try, but we have to take this slow. I haven’t…” I pause, taking a breath. “It’s been a long time since I’ve dated, and we live together.” I pause again, looking away, and say, “Until I can get a place for me and Hope…” His fingers tighten on my jaw, where he’s still holding me, causing my head to turn back toward him. “I don’t want it to get awkward,” I finish on a whisper then swallow from the look of raw determination in his eyes.

  “Just tell me you’re in this with me.”

  I can’t believe I’m doing this, that I’m taking this kind of risk, but I really don’t want to fight this pull I feel anymore. “I’m in,” I get out right before his lips crashes down on mine, pulling the air from my lungs as his tongue thrusts into my mouth, tangling with mine. My hands grip his shirt tightly, feeling the material between my fingers as his hands move, one sliding across my body right above my ass. The other drifts into my hair, where he wraps it in a fist so he can deepen the kiss before slowly pulling back, nipping my bottom lip one last time, leaving me panting for breath. When I open my eyes, his are on me, and there is no denying the happiness I see in their hazel depths.

  I just hope he doesn’t regret this. I’ve never dated—okay, I did in high school, but it was two different boys, and all we ever did was kiss, so I don’t even think that really counts. Right after high school, I started cosmetology school and worked full time, so there was never an opportunity for me to date during that time. Then I was granted custody of Hope, so I was left with even less opportunity, and I didn’t want to bring random guys around my daughter.

  Now, I’m a twenty-four-year-old virgin, with a kid and no dating experience. What the hell do I know about dating a guy like him?

  “Now, let’s go see the flamingos,” he says, pulling me from my thoughts by putting me in front of him, my back to his chest, and placing his hands on the outsides of mine, which have automatically grasped the bar of the stroller in front of me. As we begin to walk again, I wrap my hands tighter around the bar so I don’t fall on my face as Jax walks behind me, occasionally nuzzling my neck, sending sensations through my body that cause my core to throb. Reaching the area where the flamingos are, I bend and check to see if Hope is still sleeping, which she is.

  “Let’s just come back here when she wakes up,” I tell Jax over my shoulder.

  Nodding, we move down the pathway, following a sign to the gorillas. When we reach the bottom of a small hill, there’s a rock formation that looks like a large cave. Going inside, there are three large glass panels, where you can watch the gorillas that are out lazing in the warm fall sun. On the other side, there are benches lining the walls, so you can sit in the cool air.

  Moving the stroller to a bench, I sit next to Jax when he pulls me down to his side, and then I adjust Hope’s stroller in front of us, so we can keep an eye on her. Leaning my head on Jax’s shoulder, I watch the families coming and going until one of the large gorillas comes to the glass across from us, looking directly at me.

  “I think you’ve got a new admirer, baby,” Jax grunts against my ear, making me smile. Getting up from the bench, I walk toward the glass, keeping my eyes on the large creature in front of me and the way he backs away then stands up on his legs and pounds his chest.

  “I can see why he’s fascinated by you. You’re very beautiful.” Jumping at the voice next to me, I turn my head, coming face-to-face with a very handsome man about ten years older than me, with caramel-colored skin, dark hair, and startling green eyes, holding a young boy in his arms.

  “I…thanks,” I mutter, taking another step away from him as I notice something in the way he’s looking at me is off.

  “Baby, c’mere.” Turning to look at Jax, I see his eyes are on the man next to me. “Babe,” he repeats, holding out his hand. Ducking my head, I walk to him and place my hand in his. As soon as I’m in his grasp, his hand goes around my waist and he moves me to the other side of his body, the side farther away from the man and his son, then leads me outside while pushing the stroller with one hand.

  “Are you okay?” I ask, feeling the muscles of his body draw tight.

  “I’m good,” he says, giving my waist a squeeze as we move back up the hill we just came down. “I didn’t like the way that guy was watching you before he approached you.”

  “I didn’t see him,” I admit.

  “I know; you were watching the gorilla when he came in, but it wasn’t like he came in to see them. It was like he came in to watch you. I don’t even think he knew I was there until I called you over,” he says, sending a chill through me.

  “I heard you on the phone this morning. You said another girl was taken,” I confess quietly while leaning over to make sure Hope is still asleep.

  “Yes, another girl was taken. Her family contacted me. The police can’t do anything yet, because it hasn’t been more than seventy-two hours. She was hoping we could look into it.”

  “What are you doing here? You should be out looking for her.”

  “All of my guys are on it, and at the risk of sounding like an asshole, baby, you’re more important to me than any of that. I needed to come make sure you were okay,” he states.

  “Jax, I’m okay, but you have to help her. Do you know how scared I was when I was taken? I prayed over and over that someone would find me, that someone would be looking for me, but I knew I was praying in vain, ’cause the people who should have informed the police I went missing were the same people who set me up to be taken in the first place.”

  “I’m so fucking sorry, baby,” he says, letting out a ragged breath and holding me a little tighter.

  “You have to find her,” I repeat, feeling my throat close up with emotions.

  “We’re working on it, and so are Wes and the guys.”

  “Wes is helping?” I ask with a frown. I know Wes and a few of his friends own a repair shop, but I didn’t know he helps Jax out, and July never mentioned it.

  “Since July was taken, he’s been on a mission to find the guy who got away.”

  “Are you guys any closer? Do you know who he is?” I ask, hearing the hope in my voice.

  “We’re getting closer,” he says, but I notice he doesn’t fully answer my question, which makes me wonder what he’s trying to keep from me or if I’m in danger.

  “Nothing is going to happen to you, Ellie. No one is going to get close to you or Hope; you have my word.”

  “You can’t promise that, Jax,” I whisper as fear creeps over me.

  “I can promise you that,” he growls. “You and Hope are mine, and anyone who even thinks about harming either of you will wish they were never born.”

  “Jax, you’re not a cop,” I remind him.

  “I don’t answer to the law, Ellie, and that makes me their worst nightmare,” he snarls, wrapping his arms so tightly around me that I have a hard time tak
ing a breath. Huffing heavily, I do a face plant against his chest, praying he can keep both Hope and me safe.

  Chapter 5

  Jax

  Parking in front of my office, I growl when I see Mellissa is standing out front, holding two cups of coffee and her eyes on me.

  “Fuck.”

  I know she got my text. I knew she was going to ignore it and the fact I told her to call me when she had a few minutes, so we could talk. I also know her well enough to comprehend she would show up here so she could attempt to have it out with me face-to-face.

  I don’t want to deal with her shit today, not when I left Ellie and Hope at home eating pancakes that I made them for breakfast, both my girls still looking sleepy as I kissed them each goodbye, so I could come into the office and deal with a phone call I had to make this morning.

  Getting out of the cab of the truck, I slam the door and pull my office keys from my front pocket.

  “Hey, stranger.” Mellissa smiles as I get close, handing me a cup of coffee that I take then walk four steps to the garbage can on the corner of the street and dump it in.

  “That was rude.” She frowns, watching me as I step up to the building and open the door.

  “I told you to call me, Mellissa. I didn’t tell you to stop by and bring me coffee.” I know I’m being an asshole, but this chick only understands asshole. If I try to go about this playing the roll of the good guy, she will read that signal wrong and think I want back in there, which I don’t.

  “I figured we could talk over coffee,” she pouts.

  “We don’t need to have a sit-down, Mellissa. All I want is for you to understand that we fucked once five months ago. You’re not my girl. You haven’t been my girl since we were kids. I don’t want to be with you, and I’d appreciate it if you’d stop giving my mom messages to give to me. She’s too nice to tell you that she thinks you’re a snob, and will kick my ass if I even thought about getting back with you.”

  “Is this about that bitch with the kid?” she asks angrily, throwing her cup of coffee on the ground at my feet, causing the hot liquid to come up, soaking the bottom of my jeans.