Stormy Relationship

by Margaret Mayo

  It was a pity, she felt, that the serenity out here was not reflected indoors. There was far too much tension between her and Jordan for her ever to be happy. It really had been a fatal mistake thinking that marriage to a man of his type would work. The fact that he was still single at the age of thirty-five should have told her something.

  She paused by a stone bench and sat down, gazing with troubled eyes at the limpid water, listening to the song of a blackbird. There were no other sounds except for the occasional faint low of a cow―and wasn’t that the drumming hoofs of a galloping horse? She shaded her eyes and in the distance saw a horse and rider come into sight, but it was not until they got much closer that she saw it was Jordan on a massive black stallion―and her foolish heart trembled in response.

  He did not see her until he reined the horse to a halt the other side of the moat, and by this time her pulses had joined in the clamour. Was there to be no end to her torment? wondered Hannah. Why couldn’t she treat him with the same indifference as he was handing out? He came over the bridge and trotted up to her, looking down from his great height.

  The horse was beautiful, smooth and glossy, powerful muscles rippling, feet prancing. Jordan handled him superbly. There was no doubt who was the master. Dressed in black also, he and the horse made an impressive team, and had it been any other day than a brilliant summer morning they could have looked sinister.

  Jordan’s eyes flicked casually over her. Even they looked totally black in this thin morning air. ‘This is a surprise. Do I take it you didn’t sleep well?’

  ‘What did you expect?’ she asked bitterly, standing up in an attempt to reduce some of the space between them. But it was more than a couple of yards, it was a whole world. There had been the faintest hope in her heart that he might have changed towards her, that he might have reverted to the loving man he had been two nights ago. It had been a futile thought. His eyes held the obsidian hardness of volcanic rock.

  ‘Your war wounds troubled you?’

  The hint of humour surprised her. ‘You can say that again!’

  He slid down off the horse. ‘Let me see.’

  As his hands touched her shoulders fresh tremors of awareness shot through her. She wanted to turn and press herself into him, to feel the exciting hardness of his body once again. It was an effort to submit to his inspection without turning a hair―and he seemed to take an awfully long time about it.

  ‘It looks as though the sheets have rubbed your grazes,’ he told her needlessly. ‘You’re very wise to wear something like this today. Better than a dressing, because the air will help heal them.’

  His fingers remained on the tops of her bare shoulders in a sensual caress, or was it all in her mind? Was it wishful thinking because that was what she wanted to feel? She moved away, casually so that he would not know it was because she could no longer stand him touching her. It was the first time she had ever seen him in jodhpurs. Both they and the fine cashmere sweater fitted him like a second skin, accentuating every powerful muscle.

  A brief flare of anger lit his eyes, and she knew he had not mistaken her movement for anything other than what it was. ‘I trust,’ he said coldly, ‘that you’ll be up to working today?’

  Her chin lifted. ‘But of course. It will take more than a little thing like this to stop me.’

  ‘Good,’ he growled, putting his foot in the stirrup and swinging himself back up on the magnificent horse. ‘I’ll see you later.’ He touched his hat in a mock salute and in moments horse and rider were once again mere figures in the distance.

  Hannah watched until he was out of sight before she headed back to the house. Judging by the mood he was in she had a difficult day in front of her-but she did not realise exactly how difficult until their first visitor arrived, in the form of Jordan’s mother.

  Halfway through the morning, unannounced, she swept imperiously into the estate office. She took in at a glance the tense atmosphere, and a faintly satisfied smile curved her thin lips. ‘I’ve come to see how things are going, Jordan,’ she announced. To all intents and purposes she was referring to the estate, but Hannah knew she meant nothing of the sort. And they had just given her the proof she needed that their marriage was not working out!

  ‘Things are going very well, Mother, thank you,’ replied Jordan, smiling easily. ‘We’ve sorted out the mess Henderson made and now it’s all systems go. Would you like a cup of coffee?’ When she nodded he said to Hannah, ‘Would you mind, darling, going and telling Mrs Savill?’

  Darling! So the facade was being played for his mother’s benefit? Hannah could not see why, because she would find out soon enough that they were living a sham―if indeed they lived together for very long. It seemed a pointless exercise, but if that was what Jordan wanted then she would go along with it. She gave him one of her most dazzling smiles as she got up.

  ‘Goodness me, what have you done to your back?’ asked Mrs Quest in shocked horror. ‘Jordan?’

  ‘It’s nothing to worry about, Mother. Hannah had an accident with a horse, that’s all.’

  Still she frowned, ‘It looks pretty horrific to me. Have you been to the doctor’s, Hannah?’

  It was the first time she had spoken directly to Hannah, and It took her by surprise. ‘I don’t think that’s necessary. Jordan’s looking after me very well, aren’t you, my sweet?’

  The briefest flicker of his eyes at her endearment. ‘Mmm, yes, I’m giving her every ounce of loving care that she deserves.’

  Which was nil, thought Hannah tightly, but she kept the smile pinned to her lips as she left the office.

  Mrs Quest stayed for lunch. On the surface she was charming and polite, though she made sure Riva was mentioned in the conversation, and by the time she left Hannah’s face muscles felt stiff from forcing too many smiles, both for her benefit and Jordan’s.

  ‘I don’t know why we bothered,’ she said when they were alone. ‘Your mother knew there was something wrong. She sensed it the moment she walked into the office.’

  ‘My mother is not going to have the satisfaction of knowing that I’ve made a mistake,’ he growled murderously. ‘You’re stuck with me for the rest of your life, whether you like it or not,’

  ‘You’d stay with me for her sake?’ asked Hannah eyes incredulous.

  ‘Not particularly, but mine, yes,’ he snarled.

  She shook her head in total disbelief. ‘I suppose what you’re trying to say is that you’ll keep up a pretence of a happy marriage but you’ll have no compunction about going to bed with Riva?’ How she wished she could afford to leave him!

  He eyed her with brutal coldness. ‘If you drive me to it, then yes, I suppose it could happen,’ he agreed.

  Hannah was even more sure it could happen when Mrs Savill announced later that afternoon that a Miss Riva March was waiting to see Mr Quest.

  Letting her breath out on a sigh of anger and resentment, Hannah said coolly, ‘It’s a little early, but I’ll go and fetch Daniel. In that way you’ll be able to have a cosy tete-a.-tete without worrying about me.’

  ‘If that’s what you want,’ Jordan answered, his brown eyes fiercely narrowed. ‘I’m more than willing to fetch Daniel, you know that.’

  ‘And leave me here with Riva?’ she asked scornfully. ‘No, thanks. I’ll see you later. Don’t worry if I don’t come straight back. I might take Daniel for a walk.’

  She met Riva as she left the office. The blonde girl eyed her warily but defiantly, and immediately Hannah’s hackles rose. She smiled with all the confidence of a woman in love, which wasn’t difficult considering how she felt. ‘You won’t be able to tempt my husband away from the straight and narrow,’ she purred softly, marvelling how seductive she was able to make her voice sound. ‘He was just saying that marrying me was the best thing that ever happened to him. We’re so blissfully happy.’

  At that moment Jordan came to the door, and Hannah’s heart sank as she realised he had heard every word. But she continued to smile bravely
and let her love shine in her eyes. ‘Isn’t that true, darling,’ she said to him, touching his arm and reaching up to press a light kiss to his mouth.

  ‘Absolutely, my precious.’ His hand curved around the back of her neck, and the kiss became a force to be contended with, flaring inside Hannah like a firework on Bonfire Night. She actually felt sorry for Riva having to witness this display of unbridled passion, though she doubted whether the other girl would have felt any such emotion if the roles were reversed.

  Hannah gave her all, knowing it would be one of only a very few occasions when Jordan would kiss her, and determined to enjoy every second of it.

  ‘Run along now, my love,’ he muttered thickly, dragging his mouth away from hers as if with reluctance. ‘And hurry back―I’ll miss you.’

  If only she could believe him! Hannah left the house with a wildly beating heart but unhappiness in her mind.

  Daniel was surprised to see her instead of Jordan, but accepted the fact that his new father had a visitor, and was quite happy to go walking round the estate instead of heading straight home.

  When they did finally get back to the Hall Riva had gone and Jordan was waiting for them. He scooped Daniel up in his arms and whirled him around, the two of them laughing joyfully together. A pang of jealousy shot through Hannah. Life would have been perfect if Jordan loved her too.

  ‘How do you feel about getting changed and going riding again?’ Jordan asked Daniel as he put him down.

  Hannah glanced sharply both at her husband and son. She was not sure that it was such a good idea after his fright yesterday.

  But Daniel nodded eagerly. ‘Yes, please. I’ve told everyone at school about my pony.’ He seemed to have settled in remarkably well after his bad start.

  ‘I’ll come and watch you,’ she said.

  But Jordan had other ideas. ‘I’ve left some accounts for you to go through,’ he told her sharply. ‘There are several outstanding bills that need strong letters, and also cheques to be made out.’

  ‘But why should I work when you’ve finished?’ she wanted to know. ‘

  ‘You’ve just had over an hour off, Hannah.’

  ‘While you were talking to Riva,’ she accused.

  ‘Riva stayed no more than a few minutes,’ he told her, ‘and, for your peace of mind, I shan’t be seeing her again.’

  He watched closely for her reaction, but Hannah was growing adept at keeping a guard over her feelings and she merely shrugged, as if to say, I’ll believe that if it happens.

  While they were talking Daniel had rushed upstairs to get changed, and now he came down again and tugged eagerly at Jordan’s arm. ‘Let’s go!’ And casually, ‘Are you coming, Mummy?’

  When she shook her head he did not seem in the least disappointed. He really enjoyed the time he spent alone with Jordan, and if Hannah were to be totally honest, Jordan was handling her son much better than Roger ever had. It was an unkind thought, she knew, but it was true.

  By the time she had finished the accounts they were back, Daniel chattering ceaselessly about Captain, at the same time complaining how hungry he was. ‘Your bath first, I think,’ she said. ‘Mrs Savill won’t be very pleased if you sit at the table smelling of horses.’

  ‘Can Dad come with me?’ he asked eagerly.

  Before she could say anything Jordan shook his head. ‘It’s your mother’s turn. She’ll be upset if I do everything for you.’

  ‘Will you, Mummy?’ asked Daniel curiously.

  Hannah nodded, Jordan’s understanding bringing a lump to her throat. He was proving to be a perfect father, why couldn’t he be a perfect husband? Why couldn’t he love her as she loved him? With every hour they spent together her love grew deeper, and yet it was so futile―this was what hurt most.

  Later, when Daniel was in bed and they were eating their dinner, Hannah having changed into a soft lawn dress that did not rub her wounds, Jordan told her that he had found out what had caused Captain to bolt.

  ‘It was nothing more than a bin liner, a black plastic dustbin liner. It had caught in the lower branches of a tree and was flapping in the wind,’ he explained. ‘I didn’t know this, but apparently some youths frightened him by putting a plastic bag over his head when he was a few months old.’

  ‘Causing him to be frightened of plastic bags ever since,’ said Hannah, understanding now in her eyes. ‘How was Danny on him today?’

  ‘Pretty cocksure,’ grinned Jordan. ‘He’s a born rider, believe me.’ He sounded as proud as if Daniel were his own son. ‘He did a lot of riding when you lived on the farm, did he?’

  ‘Not really,’ she said. ‘Roger took him occasionally, but he was always so busy, he worked long hours and came home dreadfully tired and never had time for Dan—’ She broke off, realising how disloyal that sounded.

  Jordan’s well-marked brows rose. This was the first hint she had given him that Roger was anything but perfect. ‘How about you? Did he neglect you the same as it appears he did Daniel?’ His tone was suddenly sharp, intentness in his eyes as he waited for her answer.

  ‘I was happy with Roger,’ she defended at length, unwilling to tell him that there were too many nights when he had fallen into bed and dropped straight off to sleep. And it was true, she had been happy―very happy. It was only since she’d met Jordan that she had discovered a whole new world of emotions. But what she’d never had she had never missed, so it would have been wrong of her to say that she hadn’t been happy.

  ‘How happy?’ he wanted to know, his tone curt.

  ‘How can you measure happiness?’ she countered.

  ‘There are varying degrees, believe me,’ he answered coldly. ‘Total happiness is when a couple are compatible in every single way. Do you get my meaning?’

  Hannah’s throat and cheeks flushed.

  ‘For instance, what sort of a lover was he?’ Jordan pursued.

  ‘I don’t think that’s any of your business,’ she gasped.

  ‘Was he as good as me?’

  ‘There’s no comparison,’ she retorted, knowing he would interpret it wrongly.

  His eyes narrowed until all she could see was glittering jet. ‘Was that why you called out for him the other night? I didn’t satisfy you, was that it?’

  Hannah stilled and frowned. ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘As if you don’t know!’ he spat. ‘Do you deny that you were thinking about him? That he mentally replaced me in your arms? Was it him all along you were thinking of when you made love to me? What the hell do you think I felt like when you lay in my arms afterwards and called out his name?’

  ‘Oh, Jordan!’ exclaimed Hannah at once. ‘I was dreaming, that’s all. I dreamt about Roger and I told him about you. He was so happy for me. He didn’t like to think of me being alone, he said. If I mentioned his name I wasn’t aware of it.’ And because she felt that this was a moment for total honesty she added quietly, ‘Roger has never made love to me as you did. It was the most wonderful night of my life.’ Her cheeks coloured pink as she made the confession.

  ‘I wish I could believe that, Hannah.’ His eyes continued to stab her with icicles of frozen dislike.

  She shook her head furiously. ‘Believe what you like, but it’s true. I’ve had enough of this conversation, I’m going out for some fresh air.’ It had been hard enough making the confession, but for Jordan to disbelieve her! It was more than she could bear.

  An iron hand gripped her wrist as she rushed past his chair. ‘If it was such a wonderful experience, Hannah, why have you been rejecting me ever since? Why have you moved away every time I get near you? Why do I get the impression that I’m repulsive to you?’

  Hannah was blinded by a haze of helplessness. Did she tell him the truth or lie through her teeth? Her whole body began to shake, and he thrust her away from him in despair. ‘If you’re really so put off by me, Hannah, then you’re free to go.’

  ‘I don’t want to go,’ she whispered painfully.

  ‘You me
an you want to stay, even though you don’t love me nor ever will?’ he asked derisively.

  She swallowed hard and in a voice that was choked with emotion and almost too quiet for him to hear, she said, ‘I do love you, Jordan―that’s the trouble.’

  The quick frown that knitted his brows told her that he had had no difficulty in hearing her words. ‘You―love me? You honestly love me, is that what you’re saying?’

  She nodded.