No Closure, No Forgiveness

by Pawan Verma

  NO CLOSURE

  NO FORGIVENESS

  Pawan Verma

  Contents

  Copyright & Disclaimer

  Dedication

  Prologue : No Justice, No Forgiveness

  Chapter One : Paradise Lost

  Chapter Two : “Because You Love Him Too Much”

  Chapter Three : Help

  Chapter Four : “Till Death Do Us Part”

  Chapter Five : Vigilante

  Chapter Six : “Everything We’ve Been Through”

  Chapter Seven : Caught Red-Handed

  Chapter Eight : Special Agent Jessica Galloway

  Chapter Nine : Paradise Regained

  Chapter Ten : Cat And Mouse

  Chapter Eleven : The Chase

  Requesting for a Review

  Pawan Verma – Author Profile

  Connect with Pawan Verma

  Copyright & Disclaimer

  Copyright

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced, duplicated, transmitted by any means or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the Author or Publisher except for the use of brief quotations or excerpts in articles or reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this book would be illegal and punishable by law.

  Disclaimer

  This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, events and incidents, appearing in the book, are the product of the author’s imagination and have been used purely in a fictional manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, incidents or things would be purely coincidental.

  Dedication

  This book is dedicated to my family members who have always been a source of support and inspiration to me.

  To my wife, Neelima, who has been nurturing our family with love & affection, dignity & sacrifice and has been a source of inspiration to me in countless ways

  To my daughter Shweta & son Harsh who have always been a sounding board to me for what the next generation thinks & likes and who keep infusing me with passion and strength to carry on with my work

  To my son-in-law Subhayu, who instills me with the faith that all is well with the next generation and also the hope that the future is bright

  To my daughter-in-law Shruti, who has brought about all-round happiness in all our lives

  Prologue : No Justice, No Forgiveness

  There’s no such thing as closure, there’s no such thing as forgiveness, Patrick Brenner thought as he watched the lady detective from his hiding spot outside her home. Nothing could bring back his nine-year-old son, especially since one of Baltimore City’s finest had helped his son’s killer escape justice in one of the most egregious miscarriages of justice the city had ever seen. Since then, not a day had passed when he hadn’t thought of pleasant memories of Little David’s cheerful giggle, followed by torturous images of him being forever taken from the world in which his son had been raised.

  And now revenge was on his mind as Patrick sat alone in his car, a broken, distraught father who had worked so hard to build a better life for David. He rested his binoculars on the passenger’s seat, stretched his short stubby legs, and rubbed his flaky head. Years of poor dieting and lack of exercise were finally taking its toll. Not that he cared. In fact, he didn’t have anyone to care for. His universe had collapsed. The small little world that he had built around himself had caved in. Nothing mattered anymore.

  Detective Jessica Galloway was on her way to speak with Irene before she checked in to work that day. Irene. Her name once slipped off his tongue with a subtle sweetness. Now it filled his mind with disgust. She was the gorgeous redhead he’d vowed to spend the rest of his life with. Yeah, so he had a few issues and took them out on her from time to time. But did that mean she had the right to take his son on a joyride when she knew she was drunk out of her mind?

  No. Of course not.

  Upstairs on the second floor of Jessica’s Canadian Victorian-style home, the lady detective flinched as she slipped into her shoes. Patrick froze, but decided against ducking down into his seat for he knew this woman was smart, alert, and a sudden movement would draw her attention. Patrick couldn’t afford the attention. That chilly December evening was far too early to give himself away.

  Irene, Detective Galloway, and her annoyingly aloof boyfriend who was now in federal witness protection would pay soon enough. They would learn what it was like to have the one thing, the one person you loved more than anything, taken from them.

  Patrick waited until Jessica dressed and grabbed her police-issued handgun from a nearby nightstand before he started the ignition of his Toyota Camry and peeled away from the street. In the upscale side of Baltimore City, he was more than confident that she’d heard him pull away from the curb in the low-crime area.

  Good, he thought. Let her wonder a bit.

  Patrick took a left at the next intersection and began pulling out of Fell’s Point. He switched on the radio and rolled down the window to let the frigid air shock him into oblivion. An old Jimmy Hendrix song blared through the speakers. Hey Joe, I said where you goin' with that gun in your hand? He and Irene had fallen in love listening to that song. The bitter irony was aggravating. The anger returned. The time for tears was over. The time to get even had come.

  As he drove, the rest of the world floated by without paying him any attention. He was an alien among the humans. An ominous sense of despair that threatened to ruin the city’s holiday spirit. As he pulled the Camry to a halt at the next intersection, Patrick looked down at the last picture he still had of he and his son. Resistance was pointless. The tears flowed freely. And he let them.

  He sobbed quietly until the driver behind him beeped his horn, yelling a few choice words that would normally have inspired Patrick to exit the vehicle and start swinging at anything that moved. Instead, he continued to the Interstate, towards the meeting place. By the time Irene realized what was happening, she would be gone forever…

  Chapter One : Paradise Lost

  The sky was dark. The stars shined bright. And Detective Jessica Galloway struggled once again to deal with the guilt. She didn’t want to speak with Irene. Not tonight, not after she’d just earned her badge back following a two-week suspension for dereliction of duty. That was the term the brass used when they’d learned she’d fallen in love with one of the witnesses who testified on Irene Brenner’s behalf, arguing that she suffered from Battered Women’s Syndrome and shouldn’t be held accountable for wrecking her vehicle and killing nine-year-old David. And Andrew Hoffman—the man she loved—had been legally compelled to test in a federal drug case just days after Irene was acquitted.

  Now he was gone, tucked away in whatever safety net the federal government had spent millions of dollars building for him. But her duty to protect trumped the desire to wallow in self-pity. Now here she was on this cold, dreary night, kind of wishing she could exchange her detective shield for laminated teaching credentials.

  Jessica pulled into the vacant parking lot and waited for Irene to arrive. Her unmarked vehicle smelled of fresh women’s perfume. Not too much, but not too little. Sometimes she still missed the nights where she was allowed to be gorgeous. The nights where she could dress up in her favorite heels and skirt and go out with a few of the girls. Those days had ended long ago.

  It was sad to think she had so few friends, and even less family. Her mother and father had handed her over to her grandparents. And both of her grandparents had passed away as well, leaving her with painful, but fond memories of how the couple had raised her.

  The substitute parenting played a role in why she was sitting in a parked police cruiser, huddled down in a dark car, when she was supposed to be at
tending a mandatory strategy meeting at the precinct.

  Jessica waited. A homeless man walked slowly down the sidewalk. A laughing family of four exited a pizzeria adjacent to the empty lot. Five minutes passed. Ten. Fifteen. She began to grow impatient.

  The police radio garbled out a report of a domestic disturbance, producing a nauseating wave of agonizing memories from her earlier days working for Baltimore PD’s recently formed Domestic Abuse Prevention Task Force. After suffering from flashbacks that haunted her days and nightmares that kept her waking up repeatedly, she’d chosen to leave the task force and apply for a transfer to Homicide.

  And of course there were the memories of college days, where everything had gone perfectly until she’d met the wrong guy. It only took a few days before the beauty and optimism that had always radiated from her transformed into a constant feeling of hopelessness and rage.

  Knuckles rapped softly on the car window. Instinctively, Jessica reached for her sidearm but realized it was Irene. She appeared a little more frantic than usual. Jessica rolled down the window and stared at the pint-sized redhead who was in fear for her life.

  Reassurances couldn’t help this woman as she was forever confident that her ex-husband would try to kill her for accidentally taking their son’s life. Even after half the squad had assured her he was no longer a threat and had reluctantly moved on with his life.

  “Hey girl, how you doin’?” the detective asked the distraught young woman. “You still making it to those meetings?”

  Irene’s head bobbed up and down, her dull, untreated red bangs showing signs that she hadn’t shampooed in at least a week.

  “You sure?” Jessica pressed. “You know if you miss those addictions meetings you’ll end up in jail.”

  “I know, I know,” Irene whispered, her eyes frantically darting, searching the darkness for the stalker she assumed was lurking in the shadows. “Detective Galloway, I need your help.”

  “Honey, I can’t help you anymore. My commanding officer told me to stay away from— “

  “I know, I know,” Irene repeated. “But I know he wants me dead. I ruined his life. I knew him for years, remember? He ain’t just gonna get over it.”

  Same routine, different night. Jessica attempting to reassure the traumatized woman by reminding her she needed to take back control over her life. And Irene reminding her that Patrick Brenner wasn’t a man who allowed a woman to have any control in the first place. That meant the battle and road to recovery had only just begun.

  “Can you just…assign a patrol guy to watch over my apartment?” Irene continued. “Please, Detective Galloway? Just one night and I promise I won’t bother you again.”

  Jessica sighed and checked her reflection in the rearview mirror to see if her nose was still running from the twenty minutes she’d spent crying over Andrew’s departure earlier that evening.

  “Irene, if you’re concerned about your safety you need to file a report. And you have that restraining order. He can’t come near you, remember?”

  “It’s not enough,” Irene whined.

  Jessica sighed again. After all, she knew how the girl felt. She’d been there, years ago when she was studying Elementary Education at the University of Maryland and had made the silly mistake of falling for the wrong future pro basketball player. Months of abuse followed. She’d suffered physically, mentally and psychologically. All in silence. Ultimately, it had been her grandmother who had discovered the bruising. The wise woman’s response was unexpected, painful, and as far as Jessica was concerned, the most important lesson she’d ever learned.

  Jessica had learned from that day forward how to stand up for herself. Weeks later, the wanna-be future Hall-of-Famer’s career was over. Now he was serving hard time for domestic abuse charges, in addition to the drugs and weapons police had found.

  And Jessica was now a cop. Everything that happens in your life, happens for a reason. It’s your responsibility to learn from it all. Grandmother’s twist on an old familiar adage.

  “Tell you what,” Jessica said as Irene’s teeth began chattering from the cold. Let me drop you by your house before I head in. I’m not supposed to be on tonight. Just a mandatory meeting.”

  Unless someone gets killed. Yeah, then she’d be working. Homicide Division was a tough beat to work, especially in this city.

  Irene smiled weakly and walked around to the side of the car. Jessica truly felt for her. After all, she knew how it felt to become so frightened and alienated that anyone you met seemed like a threat. Even as a police officer on the task force with a few personal experiences of her own to share, it had taken considerable time for Irene to warm up to her. And now she couldn’t find a way to separate herself from the past and move on.

  Jessica glanced over at Irene who sat quietly in the passenger’s seat. From experience, she knew Irene would speak little. The distraught woman and mother of a dead son sought comfort and safety, not necessarily conversation. So Jessica turned on the radio and switched through the channels. A newscaster discussed a huge bank robbery downtown. She switched to a local hip hop station.

  Jessica looked out the driver’s side window at the traffic rushing through the city streets. Life never slowed down for those who suffered. The world kept spinning and people kept moving. Even after everything had gone horribly wrong, she still wished she could be with Andrew. A man secluded in federal witness protection. A man she’d fallen in love with. A man who made her want to pack up and run away to a distant island where they could cuddle half-naked on the beach. Just the two of them. No danger, no misery, just romance, happiness, and a lot of great sex.

  Jessica could smell the stench of stale cigarette smoke on Irene’s brown fur coat. The terrified woman’s lips were chapped, her skin dryer than a sandcastle. Together, physically, the two women couldn’t be more different. But emotionally, mentally, Jessica knew they were the same. There was no other reason the distressed housewife would still rely on her companionship three months after the trial had ended.

  The two sat quietly for a few moments, trying to take in any serenity they could before both of their lives returned to “normal”. The stars shined brightly that night. In another day or so, the temperatures would become unbearably cold, but for that night, Jessica enjoyed the fresh, frigid air and bustling excitement of the approaching holiday season.

  Irene was lost in fear. Jessica was lost in love. Sitting quietly in the car, she fantasized briefly about Andrew’s tall, handsome frame. His dark, sexy skin. The man had such a smooth way of speaking, moving, touching, kissing, existing. The times they’d been together, illegally and unethically making love during the course of the one month, highly publicized trial.

  The late night daydream was so vivid that Jessica almost forgot about starting the ignition and taking Irene home as she had requested.

  At least not until the sound of a gunshot penetrated the air. Jessica looked over and saw Irene’s eyes wide with shock. Her breathing quickened and soon became erratic. Tears appeared in her eyelids and the detective’s heart sank as she realized what was happening. Irene had been hit and whoever the shooter was, he didn’t seem to want to stop firing at the vehicle.

  Gunshots panged off the front and sides of the police cruiser. Jessica counted seven rounds fired in rapid succession. Clearly, this was a carefully plotted attack by a shooter who knew what he was doing.

  From that point, everything that was happening seemed to unfold in a confused blur.

  Detective Galloway reached for her radio to call in the shooting.“Ten-thirteen, ten-thirteen!” she screamed, the code for an officer requesting emergency assistance. “Shots fired, civilian hit!”

  Jessica jumped out of the vehicle and crouched behind the door, her eyes searching the darkness for the shooter. But even without a shred of proof, Jessica knew who the assailant was. She just couldn’t see him.

  Screams split the calm air. Pedestrians ran in the opposite direction from where the source of the gunfire
which had finally just stopped. Sirens wailed in the distance. Jessica ran to the other side of the car and dropped to her knees. She wasted a few minutes with resuscitation methods before giving in and realizing that it was too late to save Irene.

  Irene Brenner had been killed. And as far as Jessica could tell, her ex-husband was a primary suspect. The tears Jessica had cried earlier returned, more so than earlier. She tried hard to contain them because she didn’t want other people to see her temporary vulnerability.

  Why couldn’t God give her Andrew?

  Chapter Two : “Because You Love Him Too Much”

  Are we allowed to do this?

  No, probably not. But hey, it’s more fun that way, right?

  I just don’t want to get you into trouble. You know, you could lose your badge and all.

  What would you do if you got me into trouble?

  I’d save you of course.

  What makes you think you’re not saving me now?

  Am I?

  Yeah, baby.

  Is it weird that I love you?

  I hope not.

  So why can’t you kiss me?

  ‘Cause you’re the man. There’s this thing called initiative.

  Yeah, Jessie I know what initiative is.

  Lemme hear you spell it then.

  Jessica jolted awake. The phone was ringing. She wished she had turned the freaking thing off. But the constant, but ridiculous hope that Andrew would someday return still remained. Even now, as she lay in bed that bleak, foggy morning she felt her lips touch his before he could spell the word that had cast a spell upon both of them.

  Will this ever end? Jessica wondered as she reached across the bed and yanked the phone from the receiver. She knew who was calling. And she wasn’t looking forward to it.