Envy: An Eagle Elite Novella

by Rachel Van Dyken

  I was surprised there were even knives allowed at the table after last month where the bosses got into a pissing match over tattoos.

  “Renee.” Nixon calling me out during dinner rarely happened. I didn’t speak unless spoken to. “Your mother called.”

  “She did?” I exhaled in relief. “So I can go home soon?”

  The table fell silent.

  “Actually…” He cleared his throat. “She’s decided to stay a bit longer in Vegas.”

  “How much longer?” My skin erupted in goose bumps. Something wasn’t adding up. “Like a week?”

  “Few months.” He shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. “Besides, you’re safer here.”

  I almost snorted. From who? What?

  “Safer.” I tasted the word and decided I hated it. “Safer from…?”

  “People,” Nixon answered in a bland tone. “People with guns who like to point them at other people.”

  “You just described every single person at this table!” I didn’t mean to raise my voice. He must have been surprised because his eyebrows shot up.

  He let out a sigh. “Trust us.”

  “Not to ruin family dinner, sir.” I tried the respect card. “But why the hell aren’t you telling me anything?”

  “Because it would change nothing. Because knowledge is power. And because giving you that power will make you more of a target. You can’t tell what you don’t know.”

  I sighed. Hating that he had a point.

  Hating that the guy was, what? Five years older than me with a lip ring and enough tattoos to blind a person, and he was lording over me like he had a right to.

  Because he did.

  Stupid mafia.

  “So…” Chase interrupted. “Vic, bet you were bored the other night when everyone was gone and you were on babysitting duty.” He popped some bread into his mouth and grinned at me.

  Vic shrugged. “Nothing exciting.”

  “Really?” Chase piped up. “Not even the knife I threw at your face?”

  “You missed.” Vic shrugged. “Like I said, nothing exciting.”

  “Why’d you throw a knife at his face?” Luc smacked him in the arm.

  Chase just shrugged. “Because I can?”

  “Worst logic in the world,” Mo muttered under her breath, earning a laugh from the other women at the table.

  “But true.” Chase picked up his taco. “Right, Vic?” He bit down. “You know what body part tacos remind me of?”

  “Chase.” Nixon’s voice carried only exhaustion and a light warning tone.

  Vic seemed completely unaffected.

  And then I looked down at his side.

  He was gripping his chair so tight his knuckles were white, his forearm muscles strained as he held on, blank expression in place.

  I very lightly covered his one hand with mine, brief enough to be effective, not long enough to fulfill what I needed.

  He exhaled like he’d needed my permission to relax.

  And my hand buzzed with awareness the rest of the dinner.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Vic

  I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, gripping the sink with my hands so that I could squeeze something that wasn’t Chase’s throat. He knew I was ready to lose my struggle.

  He saw it in my eyes.

  Then brought attention to it.

  Or maybe just saw the temptation was there to reach over and hold her hand.

  Damn, the guy was infuriating!

  I took a solid deep breath then went over to the door to jerk it open. Renee had her hand midair like she was ready to knock.

  “Sorry,” I croaked. “It’s all yours.”

  “No, I mean, I just was going to shower really quick and…”

  I closed my eyes and sighed. “Well, go for it.” I sidestepped her only to have her try to sidestep me at the same time, making it look like we were doing this weird dance. Our clothes brushed each other.

  “Fuck.” I grabbed her wrist, holding her there.

  Holding her where I could smell her.

  I closed my eyes and inhaled, my eyes rolling to the back of my head when her scent washed over me. And still I grasped her by the wrist.

  “Vic.” I dropped her hand at the sound of Nixon’s voice and stomped off in the direction of it.

  “Yes?” He was in his office.

  “Don’t tell her, not yet. I know she can be…convincing.” He gulped. “And she’s innocent enough to want to share details with, but don’t get so close to her that you forget your purpose in watching her.”

  “To keep her alive.” I nodded.

  “For her betrothed back in Sicily.” He dug the knife deeper, twisted, twisted, and twisted some more.

  “Yes,” I bit out. “For her betrothed.”

  “Good.”

  I was dismissed, except… “Nixon? Were you going to give her her own room?”

  “She’s safer in yours by location alone…unless it’s becoming a problem…watching her?”

  Never. “I’ve got it handled.”

  “All right then.”

  I berated myself the entire walk back to my room and again when I was just in time to see her yawn and stretch her arms over her head. That flimsy white tank top was fooling nobody. How was that even considered a shirt? I walked into the room, plopped down on my usual stalker chair, and reached for a book. Staring at her would make me rip her clothes off with my teeth with Nixon a few feet away.

  I cleared my throat.

  Twice.

  And then looked up when the light didn’t turn off.

  She was staring at me.

  “What are you doing?” I closed the book.

  She lifted a shoulder in half a shrug. “Watching the bodyguard.”

  My lips twitched. “Must be boring.”

  “He’s really pretty to look at,” she whispered. “Sharpest jaw I’ve ever seen, intense blue eyes that cut right through a person—muscles sculpted all around his rock-hard body—it’s better than Kardashians, that’s for sure.”

  “Wow, color me relieved,” I deadpanned.

  She just smiled brighter, forcing me to experience her joy even when I was hell-bent on ignoring it.

  She was a flame, wasn’t she?

  And I was a fucking stupid moth.

  “Did you need me to get the light?” I stood and walked over to the door, pausing only a second before flipping it off. My hand hovered near the lock on the door.

  Temptation pulsed and pounded; it begged, it clawed at me, screamed. I ignored it and took a seat, now blanketed in darkness, my book forgotten.

  “Hey, Vic?” Renee called out into the darkness.

  “Yeah?”

  “Are you watching?”

  Those three words.

  Would be my downfall.

  I could feel it in the air as I locked eyes on her and watched her dip her fingers beneath the covers. I sucked in a breath, unable to look away.

  Her hips lifted off the bed.

  And then she was pulling shorts out from under the covers and tossing them onto the floor.

  “Are you watching?” she repeated.

  I was paralyzed.

  Frozen.

  Aroused.

  She threw the covers off her body and ran her hands down her breasts as they strained against the white tank.

  She watched me while I watched her.

  And then she slid one hand down her stomach, lower, lower.

  I don’t remember moving.

  I was in the chair.

  And then my mouth was on hers in a punishing kiss. “Never.” I squeezed her ass. “Touch yourself without letting me touch you first.”

  “Greedy?” she asked.

  “Fuck yes.” I flipped her onto her stomach and ran my hands down the curves of her body. I could worship her like this. “You’re so beautiful.”

  She was meant for someone else.

  Nixon could walk in.

  I’d made an oath.
/>   I batted the thoughts out of my head. “So. Perfect.”

  “Take your clothes off.” She didn’t have to beg me, I was already sliding my pants down my hips, already pulsing with this aggressive need to claim her in my bed, against my mattress.

  Mine.

  I flipped her back over onto her back and hooked her knees over my shoulders, then clapped a hand over her mouth. “Shhhhh.”

  She nodded. Her eyes wild.

  I entered her in one smooth thrust that had her biting my hand. I didn’t pull away. Let her bite, let her draw blood, just don’t let her scream.

  Even though it would be the most beautiful noise in the world, her screaming my name while she climaxed.

  That wasn’t our future, was it?

  My body shuddered as she spasmed around me. Fuck, I could feel her heartbeat with each pulse, with each thrust.

  It screamed my name when her words couldn’t.

  And I responded in the only way I knew how.

  I rose over her as she relentlessly matched my rhythm with her hips. There was nothing careful about what we were doing, nothing slow.

  We weren’t given that luxury, were we?

  All the reasons we couldn’t be together tumbled into oblivion the minute she’d touched herself, the minute she told me she was watching.

  I leaned down and moaned against her neck, my lips met hers in a frenzied kiss. I slowed my thrusts to make the moment longer, to wish it into an eternal forever I knew would never exist except in those times when she was mine, when I was inside her, when my name beat against her heart.

  She clawed at me like she needed me closer. I slid in deeper, earning another gasp from her before she found her release.

  I wasn’t far behind.

  We stared at one another, chests heaving.

  The smell of sex in the air.

  Things left unsaid between us.

  I kissed her forehead.

  Tears filled her eyes.

  I kissed each cheek. And then I tucked her into bed as tightly as I could. I felt older than my thirty years as I walked over to the chair, sat, and did my job.

  “Will you be watching, Vic?” she asked in a sleepy voice.

  “Always,” I croaked, unable to keep the emotion from my voice.

  “Maybe one day you won’t have to.”

  “Maybe,” I said, giving her false hope. Making her think it was possible that the story could end differently if she just believed hard enough. I’d give her the lie any day of the week, because the truth would destroy her.

  The truth of her birth.

  The truth of her past.

  Her future.

  I was nowhere in any of those truths.

  So I would lie.

  Because at least in the lie—she would be in my arms.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Renee

  It was wrong.

  I didn’t care.

  In fact I was beyond caring.

  Not to the point where I wanted to expose us and get Vic in trouble, but to the point where my need for him trumped all reason and logic. It made me justify my actions in the worst way.

  My day went by so slow I thought I was going to lose my mind, and as slow days went—the kids were little tyrants, so by the time dinner rolled around I just wanted to go to bed early with a movie.

  When I walked into Vic’s bedroom there was a candle lit and a plate of food waiting on the nightstand.

  Next to that was my open laptop with Netflix already on the webpage.

  I smiled.

  And then the smile fell.

  This wasn’t a date.

  He wasn’t staying with me.

  This was him doing something nice.

  Because he’d taken an oath. He would never be by my side, and part of me understood why. I just didn’t want to accept any of it.

  I crawled onto his bed and started to eat just as someone stopped in the middle of the doorway.

  “Vic.” I breathed his name like it was my favorite word, and maybe it was. “Thank you for the food and movie…” I shrugged. “I was exhausted today.”

  He smirked. Damn it, stop smirking if you want me to keep you from getting shot!

  “I know.” He sat back down in his usual chair. “I think the whole ‘I’m going to sell you at Walmart if you don’t start listening’ was my first clue.”

  I laughed. “Serena’s such a diva!”

  “Hey, she wanted her crown, no reason why you couldn’t just get into a car and drive all the way into town and find her a leopard one.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I was never that much of a handful.”

  “Somehow, I doubt that. But whatever helps you sleep at night, princess.” His face went from happy to sad like someone had just let the light out of his body.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He shrugged. “You’re not the only one who’s exhausted. I was the one who chased Junior for at least five miles while you and Serena had your talk.”

  “You’re six times his size, I’m sure you’ll make it.”

  His smile was back. “Do you need anything else?”

  “You,” I blurted. And then instantly regretted it when his face fell. “What? Not on the menu?”

  He didn’t move from his spot in the chair. His fingers dug into the leather. “I don’t think it would be wise since I tend to lose my head when I’m with you—and since Nixon would remove it from my body if he witnesses it.”

  I sighed. “I know. Sorry…”

  “Don’t be sorry. I want to be wanted.”

  I felt my entire body soften and lean toward him. “I don’t think that’s something you ever need to worry about where I’m concerned.”

  “Careful…” he whispered. “You’re going to get me to break my oath a third time.”

  “Eh, what’s one more time?”

  “And I’m the bad guy.” He shook his head and then crooked his finger at me. I made my way over to him and straddled his lap while he gripped my hips. “I want you every second of every day. I can’t stop.”

  “I never asked you to stop.”

  “It would be wise to stop.”

  “It would be wise to kiss me—”

  His mouth devoured my next sentence as his hands tangled in my hair. I slid my tongue past his lower lip, tasting wine on his tongue.

  “Vic?” Chase called out his name loud enough that we both jumped apart. I sat on my bed and grabbed my dinner plate, eating vigorously while Vic grabbed the book sitting on the nightstand. Chase poked his head in the room and sighed. “You’re lucky…this time.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked innocently.

  Chase rolled his eyes. “It smells like horny high schoolers in here, all right? Rein it in or at least wait until Nixon’s sleeping…” He eyed Vic. “He wants to see you.”

  “Again?” Vic blurted.

  Again? What did he mean again? The food seemed to go dry in my mouth as Vic slowly rose from his seat and made his way out of the room past Chase and down the hall.

  I stared down at my plate, feigning interest in the green broccoli sitting on it.

  Chase cleared his throat.

  “What?” I didn’t look up.

  “I encouraged this…in the beginning.” His voice carried a hard edge that had goose bumps erupting up and down my body. “I misread the situation. I assumed he needed a bit of release so he could do his job.”

  My stomach clenched. “Oh.”

  “I’m rarely wrong,” Chase admitted. “And for that…I’m sorry, more than you’ll ever know.”

  “Sorry?” I finally looked up into his blue eyes. The haunted look was back, like he was trying to keep the demons away but too tired to fight them tonight. “What exactly are you sorry for?”

  “Helping break your heart.” He licked his lips, nodded at me once, then walked off.

  Sickness wrapped itself around my insides. I crossed my arms and closed myself off to the world. I wasn’t hungry. I wasn’t tired. I was
just…confused.

  And maybe a lot afraid.

  Afraid of the heaviness in Chase’s words.

  Afraid of the fact that Nixon kept pulling Vic into his office.

  I shuddered.

  “Everything all right?” Nixon poked his head in the doorway.

  “Um, yeah.” I frowned. “Are you watching me tonight?”

  He smiled. “No. Vic had to run an errand, but he’ll be back in a bit. He said he brought you dinner and a movie…and I’m sorry Serena decided that today of all days we should crown her as princess of the family.”

  I smiled at that. “Yeah, well, every little girl wants to be a princess, right?”

  He sobered. “Some already are.”

  I frowned and then laughed. “Yeah, maybe in Europe.”

  He was silent, his eyes averted as he asked, “Renee, do you like it here?”

  “In this house? This family?”

  “Yes.”

  I sighed. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be. You know, except my own home… The only thing missing is all the information you refuse to give me.”

  He nodded. “Soon.”

  “How soon?”

  “Too soon,” he fired back. “And yet, not soon enough.”

  “Vague, Nixon. Very vague.”

  “Relax.” He ignored my jab and shut the bedroom door.

  I tried to concentrate on the movie but my thoughts kept going back to Vic. What errand had Nixon sent him on? And why couldn’t he send someone else?

  I stared at the clock. Six at night.

  I would wait for him.

  I needed him.

  I needed him more than he would ever know.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Vic

  I pulled up to the club again. Hating that I was the one getting sent. I needed to face the facts, the more I fell for Renee, the more I hated my job. The more I wanted to say fuck it all and run away with her.

  Leave it all behind.

  No wonder I’d taken an oath.

  Maybe Nixon knew that my one personality flaw was that I loved too much. Loved too hard. I didn’t know how to go in halfway. So when I saw something I wanted, I dove head first with my heart and left my brain behind.

  I nodded to security and the rope was pulled back. I walked through the club and all its patrons, with their masks and capes, their anonymous trysts and thick makeup.