by Beth Wiseman
“Sadie, wait,” Kade whispered.
“Ya?”
“I was hoping maybe you and I could talk for a little while.” He looked quite silly in Ben’s pants. “I promise not to keep you up much longer,” he added when she shook her head.
“No. It’s not proper for you to be here. You have to go.” She edged toward Tyler.
“Wait,” he said again. “Who’s going to know?”
“I will know,” she said in a loud whisper. “And God.”
“That’s what I want to talk to you about.” He moved closer. Much too close.
Sadie folded her arms across her chest. “You want to talk to me about God?”
“Yes. Something happened today, and I need to talk to someone about it, and . . .” Sadie could hear his shirt pocket vibrating, and Kade pulled out the tiniest portable phone she’d ever seen. “Excuse me a minute. It’s a friend of mine from L.A.”
Kade walked toward the kitchen, and Sadie waited in the den. “What’s up, Val?” Kade asked from around the corner.
Sadie continued to wait. It was quiet for a bit. She squatted down beside the couch and gently touched Tyler’s back. So sweet. She wondered how the boy had managed to sleep through all the talking in the next room. The fire was dwindling. She’d need to put another log on before she went to bed. She sighed and wondered how soon that would be. It is completely inappropriate for him to be here.
Kade rounded the corner and stopped in the middle of the room. His expression caused Sadie to stand up and take a step toward him. “Kade?”
He put his hand over his mouth and looked down, and then blinked hard.
“Kade, what is it?” She took another step toward him.
His head slowly lifted. “I have to go.”
Sadie would have thought, Thank goodness, but something was wrong. Terribly wrong. “I’ll help you get Tyler,” she said, although she didn’t move.
“No.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I mean, I have to go. I have to leave Lancaster County. I have a flight out Friday morning. Me and Tyler have to go.”
He walked to the couch and gently lifted Tyler into his arms, and then buried his face in the sleeping boy’s shoulder and stood there holding his son.
Sadie didn’t know what to say, what to do. She waited.
Kade lifted his head, and even in the dimly lit room, Sadie could see his eyes glassed over with unspoken pain.
“Kade?” She was now right in front of him, staring into tear-filled eyes that threatened to spill at any moment. She touched his arm, a gesture she wouldn’t have considered just five minutes earlier.
“It’s Monica,” he said softly.
“Monica?”
“Tyler’s mother.” He stared into Sadie’s eyes. “She’s dead.”
9
SADIE BUNDLED UP FOR THE BELOW-FREEZING TEM-perature and walked onto the porch. Ominous clouds hung low as night gave way to day, and Sadie knew that this morning’s weather was the best it would be for several days. The temperature would drop throughout the day and overnight before several feet of snow fell.
Last night, Kade had left immediately after telling her the news about Tyler’s mother. He’d clung tightly to Tyler and, with tears in his eyes, mumbled something about a car accident. When the front door closed, Sadie had wept, and then prayed for both of them. They’d be leaving tomorrow morning, and Sadie couldn’t help but wonder if she’d ever see them again.
Sadie imagined Kade had scores of people to help him with Tyler when he returned home to Los Angeles. A man of his wealth would surely enroll Tyler in a fine school. But would he ever really get to know that precious child? She was busy speculating about the two of them when she stepped onto the snow and headed toward the shop. The women had decided to meet and devise a plan to check on each other over the next several days. Sadie couldn’t remember a storm of such proportion being forecast in Lancaster County. If the weather predictions held true, blizzard conditions were on the way.
She was the first one to arrive at the shop, so she pulled the blinds and started to light the heaters. Lillian and Sarah Jane walked in, and Sadie walked toward them.
“Sadie, have you been crying again?” Lillian asked. “Still no word from Milo?”
“No, I did hear from Milo. It was a short letter, but a letter.” She shrugged and then sighed. “But I did shed a few tears last night.”
Sadie proceeded to tell Lillian and Sarah Jane the events of the prior evening.
“That’s baremlich,” Lillian said. “That poor child. I guess Mr. Saunders will be getting to know his son on a permanent basis.” She shook her head.
“I reckon,” Sadie said. She wondered if Tyler would understand the loss or not.
“Well, I have a story that might cheer you up.” Lillian smiled at her mother, and then looked back at Sadie. “It’s about Grandpa.”
Sarah Jane shook her head. “Silly old goose,” she said fondly. Sadie listened with amusement as Lillian told her about finding Jonas at Lizzie’s house. “But you think it is gut, no?” she asked when Lillian had finished. “Lizzie is a dear woman, and of course, I love Jonas.”
“I think it’s wunderbaar gut that Grandpa has someone to spend time with and play chess,” Lillian said. “I was just . . . shocked.”
“That must be where Pop sneaks off to sometimes, those times when he is on foot.” Sarah Jane hung her black cape on the rack and untied her bonnet. “Because he can walk across the pasture to get to Lizzie’s house.”
“Does it bother you about—I mean, do you care since . . .” Sadie tried to reword what she was trying to say. “Your pop was married to Irma Rose, to your mamm, for a long time.”
“No, no, no,” Sarah Jane said. “I’m happy for him to have someone to spend time with. The only thing that upsets me is when he takes the buggy or takes off on foot without telling me where he’s going.” She chuckled. “I guess he’s mostly at Lizzie’s.”
Sadie and Lillian locked eyes, both knowing that Lizzie’s house wasn’t always the place Jonas went.
Lizzie had been watching the clock for nearly forty minutes. Jonas said eight o’clock. She reached for the battery-operated contraption he’d given her yesterday, before he’d been caught sneaking to her place later that afternoon.
She chuckled. Jonas seemed to enjoy the sneaking around more than the games of chess they played, always trying to keep his daughter and granddaughter on their toes. She’d told him repeatedly not to be worrying them in such a way. Lizzie was glad Sarah Jane and Lillian knew about their friendship now. Maybe she’d get to see more of Jonas. How she loved that feisty old man. It had been forty years since she’d loved that way. The good Lord took her Johnny much too soon. But after all this time, Lizzie had Jonas.
She tried not to pay it too much mind when Jonas called her Irma Rose every now and then, or when he seemed to think she was Irma Rose and would recall times they’d spent together. He’d certainly loved his Irma Rose. She turned up the volume, twisting the dial on the walkie-talkie just the way Jonas had showed her. She laughed when she heard his voice.
“Breaker, breaker. You there, Lizzie?”
She laughed harder. “Oh, my!” she said aloud to herself as she fumbled to push her own talk button. “Jonas, is that you?” And, as he’d instructed, she released her hold on the button.
It was quiet for a few moments. “Who else would it be, Lizzie?”
She pictured Jonas at home, with his big, bushy, gray brows edged upward. And she was thrilled that he called her by her name. Lizzie put her hand to her chest and smiled, feeling more alive than she’d felt in a long time. They’d only been spending time together for two months, but during that time, her arthritis had been better, her appetite had improved, and she had a kick in her step that she didn’t have before she fell in love with Jonas Miller. Lizzie hadn’t shared her feelings, but surely he knew.
“I reckon the weather’s gonna be frightful the next few days.” Lizzie released the button. She d
readed being cooped up at home with no visitors, no way to leave—and no Jonas to keep her company.
“Gonna miss me, now, aren’tcha?” She heard him chuckle.
Yes, I am. “I’ll miss beating you at chess.”
“Has that ever happened?” Lizzie heard him snort out a laugh.
“I reckon it’s happened several times, Jonas Miller!” She threw her head back and laughed. She felt like a schoolgirl who had a crush on the most wonderful boy.
“You didn’t forget our promise we made to each other, did you, now?”
Lizzie pressed her lips together, knowing the serious nature of the promise she and Jonas had made to each other a while back. They didn’t speak of if often, but with each passing day, it seemed more and more important. “No, Jonas, I did not forget.”
She could only hope that he wouldn’t forget either.
Kade watched with fascination as Tyler read the Bible. And he waited with nervous anticipation for Tyler to reveal some sort of message for Kade. But then Kade shook his head and wondered if he’d made too big a deal about the verses Tyler had spoken before. Probably a coincidence, repeating what he’d read.
If that was his line of thinking, why did he continue to encourage Tyler to read the Scriptures? Tyler was content reading, but his son didn’t say a word. Kade was jarred from his musings by his cell phone.
“Hey, partner. Monica’s parents have made the arrangements,” Val said. “Friday at two o’clock in her hometown. You’re going to be pushing it to get there from the airport in time. I had Tina at your office arrange for a car to pick you up. Which reminds me, should we go ahead and have someone fly to Pennsylvania to drive your car back? I’m sure you have no intentions of returning there.”
Kade still couldn’t believe Monica was gone. He had loved her so much at one time, but his heart ached more from those memories than from missing her now. “I haven’t really thought about it.”
“Is Tyler going to do all right on a plane?”
“I hadn’t really thought about that either.” Kade knew that was something he’d better think about now. “I didn’t see anything in Monica’s notes about Tyler not flying.”
“Listen, I went ahead and took it upon myself to call Penelope and told her to go ahead and start interviewing nannies. And what about a school for Tyler? Do you want him to live at home and attend a special school, or do you want to send him to a school with in-house boarding?”
“What?” This was all happening way too fast. “I mean, I don’t know, Val. I haven’t had time to think about all these things.” His housekeeper, Penelope, had been with him for years, but she wasn’t qualified or energetic enough at her age to take care of Tyler. “I don’t want him living away at a school, though. I want him with me.”
“You still want a nanny, though. Right?”
Kade took a deep breath. “We can talk about all that later.” He glanced around the simply furnished cottage, the cozy fire, and Tyler sitting quietly and reading on the floor. And he could see through the window that it was starting to snow. It was like something out of a Thomas Kinkade painting. He wasn’t ready to leave.
“Does Tyler seem to understand what happened?” Val asked.
“No. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend what I was saying.” And that truly saddened Kade. Monica was his mother, and he wished for her sake that Tyler had some sort of feelings about her death, even if only mild ones, to honor the woman Monica had tried to be. On the other hand, he felt relief that Tyler wasn’t grieving from the loss.
“So, what do you think about having someone fly there and drive your car back?” Val asked again. “That way you wouldn’t have to go back there.”
Something about that idea bothered Kade. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but Sadie’s face flashed before him. He recalled the way they had looked at each other in the hallway, and again in the kitchen. Something about her stirred things inside him. Not manly things, as he would have expected, but more of a spiritual whirlwind. It was confusing, and not something he was sure he was ready to walk away from for good.
He remembered the way Sadie had talked about her relationship with God during dinner. She talked about Him as if He were a close friend of hers, someone she chatted with regularly.
“No, I’ll come back to get the car.”
“I’m so sorry about all this, Kade.”
Kade was sure he heard Val’s voice crack, and it touched him that his friend truly felt for his situation.
Val filled him in on a few more details, and they said their good-byes
Sadie and Lillian closed all the shutters outside the shop in preparation for the storm. Lillian and Sarah Jane said they would check on Lizzie on their way home. Sadie imagined they were curious about Lizzie’s friendship with Jonas and wanted to take the opportunity to talk with her. She smiled when she recalled the story about Lillian catching Jonas coming to Lizzie’s. How sweet if they were courting at that age, she thought.
Milo’s letter was on the kitchen table when she walked into the house through the kitchen door. She didn’t have an urge to read it. Instead, she pulled open her kitchen drawer and tossed it inside. It landed on top of some other household papers. It didn’t seem to warrant a place upstairs with her other letters, which she had treasured for so long. Too long.
Sadie poured herself a glass of meadow tea. She’d just sat down at the table when a loud pounding on the front door caused her to jump up.
She hurried around the corner of the kitchen and flung the door open. Snowflakes dotted a heavy, brown quilt in Kade’s arms. “Kade, get that child in here,” she said. “What are you doing out in this weather?”
He pulled the quilt back from Tyler’s face. The boy was smiling from ear to ear. “Fun!”
Sadie laughed. “Your daed bringing you all bundled up out into the snow is fun, no?” She leaned down closer to Tyler.
“The faster I clomped across the snow, the more he bounced, and the louder I could hear him giggling.” He set Tyler on the floor, and the boy immediately wrapped his arms around Sadie’s legs.
“Hug,” he said.
Sadie squatted down and embraced Tyler. “I lieb hugging you,” she said, nuzzling him closer.
After a few moments, Kade eased onto the couch. Sadie pulled away from Tyler and walked to a rocker on the other side of the room. Tyler followed, and she was surprised when Tyler crawled into her lap.
“Tyler really seems to like you,” Kade said, and then frowned. “More than he likes me.”
“He’s used to having a mother, and . . .” She stopped. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Kade. And for Tyler.”
Kade leaned back against the couch. “I loved her very much at one time.” He paused and looked hard at Sadie. “But now all I have are memories of that love. I haven’t loved her—in that way—for a very long time.” He shook his head. “But it’s still painful to think of this happening to her.” His eyes shifted to Tyler’s tiny face, burrowed against Sadie’s chest. “I don’t think Tyler understands.”
Sadie could see the despair etched across his face. “What brings you out in this weather?” she asked when Kade seemed permanently lost in thought. She thought briefly about being alone with him, or at least without the company of other adults, but she suspected these were special circumstances.
“I think Tyler is missing one of his plastic letters,” Kade said. He rubbed his stubbly chin.
“I don’t know how he knows this, but every time he dumps them from the lunch box, he starts to cry. He keeps holding up the E letter, and when I took inventory, it appears that there are four of every letter, but only three Es.
Dark circles under Kade’s eyes indicated he might not have slept much last night. “Maybe it’s in between the cushions on the couch,” she said.
Kade began to search the couch, lifting the cushions slightly as he went.
Sadie glanced out the window. Heavy blankets of snow were falling. “Kade, you are goi
ng to have a baremlich time traveling. It will be much worse by morning. You might not be able to get out.”
“I was thinking about that. Maybe I should leave for the airport this afternoon and get a room near there.”
Tyler laid his head on Sadie’s shoulder, and she gave him a squeeze. “He is such a precious gift from God. You’re so very blessed, Kade.”
Kade continued to search for the missing letter, running his hand along the part of the couch where the back met with the seat. “Why don’t you have any children, Sadie? You’re so good with Tyler and all, and I was just wondering. I mean, I know your husband passed, but . . .” He paused and looked up at her. “Sorry. It’s none of my business.”
“Ben and I wanted children very much. God didn’t see fit to bless us with any before Ben died.” This was a conversation she didn’t want to have, especially with Kade.
“Well, you would have been a great mom.” Kade smiled.
“Maybe you still will someday. I understand you have a suitor.”
“What?” Who had he been talking to?
“Your elderly friend, Jonas. He told me about a man from Texas who is coming to see you soon.”
“Ah, yes,” Sadie said. She didn’t feel the need to elaborate and looked away from his questioning eyes.
“I hope it works out for you.”
Maybe it was the way he said it, but somehow Sadie felt the comment was not genuine. “Danki,” she answered anyway, and then stood up. She attempted to put Tyler down, but he clung to her neck, so she balanced him on her hip.
Kade stood up, holding the missing E. He edged closer to her and gazed into her eyes in a way that he surely shouldn’t. Her mouth went dry, and she could feel the flush in her neck traveling upward to her cheeks. When he gently grabbed her forearms, she couldn’t have moved if she wanted to. But just when she was sure the unthinkable was about to happen, Kade’s eyes drifted from hers. He leaned down and kissed his son on the head.
“Here’s your letter, Tyler,” he said, still holding one of Sadie’s arms. He offered Tyler the letter with his other hand. Then he leaned around his son and kissed her on the cheek. His lips lingered against her skin, and Sadie’s heart pounded and pulsed as a wave of panic overtook her. Even with Tyler safely between them, she abruptly pulled away. The feel of a man so close to her, his tenderness, his lips . . .