by Tracy Lee
It was Done…He was Dead.
Epilogue
2 Years Later
"Breathe baby… breathe." TJ's voice was what was keeping me grounded. "You're doing so great, I love you so much" I just nodded.
"Elleny, I need you to take another deep breath and push". I exhaled what breath I had and pulled in deep again and held it. "1… 2… 3…" I listened for the 10 in my husband's voice to know that I needed to start again.
"Ok…don't push anymore, the head is out." I laid my head back against my TJ's hand that was holding my head up. I needed to close my eyes for just a few minutes. Fourteen hours of labor would make anyone exhausted. I missed this before with the other babies and let me tell you, God did not keep the pain away. This was the most agonizing fucking pain I ever felt in my life.
I took this moment to think back at what all had happened to us in the last two years to get us to this point. After TJ killed Bear, the police investigated and found out that it was self-defense since he was in the process of slicing my throat. Charges were never filed.
Four months later, TJ and I got married along; with a name changing ceremony on all three of my kids. TJ legally adopted Harlee. We were all family; true family right where we needed to be. The twins graduated from high school and were accepted into the same college; that was a stipulation for me, and they had to live on campus. We got them all moved in to their dorms and we made sure that they didn't go far. We spend as much time as we can with them. We put my house up on the market and sold it a month later. I wasn't asking much for it; I just wanted out of it; there were too many bad memories there. We ended up moving in with TJ. He was renting a smaller home because we had decided to have a house built so we stayed there until it was finished.
I have had to have several surgeries to repair both my wrists and my neck where he wound my hands up with the barbed wire. He destroyed some tendons and muscles but they are repaired now. The doctor's said I was pretty lucky, my wounds were so deep the wire almost hit my artery. My neck was just cut shallow, that was more of a cosmetic thing then a medical necessity but my husband, I love calling him that; tells me "Baby, when you look in the mirror and see that beautiful face I don't want you to have any memories of that day or that life." So now, the scars are healing nicely, it may take one or two more surgeries on my wrists to get back to what is normal for me but other than that all memories of that day are gone.
I wanted TJ to have a chance at what he missed the first time, so I talked with my woman doctor and I went off the shot contraceptive. It took a while but I got pregnant. TJ was thrilled.
He went to every doctor's appointment with me, we even took some classes that the hospital was offering so that he could learn how to put a diaper on or make a bottle, even how to breastfeed and pump…I know weird right? That's my husband.
We found out at 24 weeks that I was having another set of twins. I thought TJ was going to pass out. I laughed hysterically, it didn't surprise me again. I felt extremely blessed. Here I was, 36 years old, married to my soul mate after being separated for seventeen years and not only had one set of twins with him but will have had two sets of twins with him.
TJ's voice brought me out from my thoughts. "Ok babe, let's do this." He pulled my head up as he lowered his to kiss my forehead.
"This should be the last push to get this baby out, Elleny." I grabbed a breath and pushed with all my might. I heard crying…newborn crying.
It's a boy!"
I threw my head back and hit pillow. I got a break. I heard TJ's voice.
"Oh my god baby, he's so beautiful, that's my son…our son, Elle. He looks so much like you."
Right now I didn't care if the baby looked like Dracula; I wanted to close my eyes and rest. I heard the nurses all in the corner with the baby. TJ was snapping pictures with his camera phone to send to everyone. The doctor was doing something between my legs and I was just lying there.
"Ok…Elleny, are you ready? It's time for the next one."
"Shit…already? Can't I rest?"
"Come on honey…almost done, you've done amazing."
Ok, I've had enough with his Lamaze-fucking video watching self he needed to just shut up.
"Honey, I love you but you need to shut the fuck up with the amazing shit. I'm tired and I want this kid out of me and you sitting there smiling at me like you're on a ride at Disney is not helping fucking matters."
The smile left his face and he pulled back a minute when the doctor laughed hysterically. "I was wonderin if you were going to hit that stage of labor or not…looks like you did. Don't worry son, that's perfectly normal. Now Elleny…push now." I smiled up at my husband and he smiled back and I knew we were anchored together right at this very moment. I pushed three pushes and my daughter was born.
Later that night, in my hospital room I woke up to the sight of my husband holding my newborn daughter; Mona Elyse McHale. She looked just like her daddy to me; so beautiful. She had Luc's disposition; she was quiet but yet she knew what she wanted when she wanted it, she was going to be the leader of the two.
"Momma, I think she's hungry." TJ said looking at Mona.
"Bring her here" I held my hands out for her. He placed her in my arms I rearranged my nightgown so that she could feed as he sat there watching me feed our daughter.
"I've never seen anything more beautiful; my love. You have given me a gift I could never find anything close enough to give to you in exchange."
As I sat feeding her, my newborn son began to cry. My husband went over to his crib and picked him up so gently and held him up "Mr. Ryder Maxwell McHale, you must want to eat too". TJ walked around with Ryder while I finished with Mona and then we changed. He hasn't left my side, he's staying up here, sleeping on a hard, lumpy couch just to be next to me.
If five years ago, I'd have had a chance to look at where my life is now, I would've jumped in your face and called you a liar. Never would I have thought I'd found such happiness and that I would let go of the mask that had become such a norm to me, but once I dropped it on the ground, I knew I would never need it again.
I stepped on it and then stomped on it incessantly to make sure that I couldn't pick it up and shove it back in my pocket. These feelings were real, they weren't just something that was set in my mind and would make an appearance with a song or a mood. This was a permanent feeling and I couldn't have asked for it with a better person. I never thought I'd be able to feel such love again but with the personal experiences I'd had, they taught me to take it and never let it go.
THE END
About the Author
Tracy lives with her husband and 4 children in a small town just outside Tulsa, Ok. Originally from Brandon, Florida she was a city girl at heart. Wanting a change of scenery, she packed her kids up and moved to Oklahoma where now she's seen snow, touched farm animals and has cows in her back yard.
Being a stay at home mom, an avid reader and part-time blogger; she decided to put the three of them together and try her hand at writing and fell in love. In between running kids from band practice to PTO meetings, she enjoys her "me time" working on a little bit of her next book. She thoroughly enjoys head-banging heavy metal and a kickass game of Black Ops.
Be sure to add her to keep updated on her upcoming books.
Tracy can be found at:
http://authortracylee.blogspot.com/