HIL: a bay falls high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  She moved her eyes to me.

  “How do I know you’re not lying?” I asked.

  “You don’t.”

  “You told me you were going out of town again.”

  “Because I had to lie.”

  “Why?”

  “I just did, Hil,” she said.

  We sat in silence for a minute or so.

  “Tell me about the music,” I said.

  “What about?”

  “You’re not allowed to play music? Why? I can’t get the image of you out of my head… on stage with my guitar, singing. You were good.”

  “Of course I was good,” she said. “I’m fucking great at it.”

  “Wow,” I said.

  Vera lifted her head and looked at me. “I’m not afraid to admit who I am and what I do. I’m not looking for pity from you, Hil. So if you opened that door because of pity, then shut it and lock it and leave it shut.”

  “I didn’t open it because of pity.”

  “Then why did you open it?”

  “Because I wanted to see you again. Because of the way you look right now. You look so fucking perfect… and beautiful…”

  Vera turned her body and stuck her legs out from the hoodie.

  She stood up and I did too.

  She tried to get to the steps and I grabbed her arm.

  “Stop,” I said.

  She turned and her eyes were big.

  And pretty.

  “What are you trying to do here?” she asked.

  “What?”

  “There’s no need to be interested now.”

  “Oh, fuck no,” I said. “Don’t you play that bullshit with me. If I wanted your ass used and gone that would have happened a long time ago.”

  Vera shook her head. “You have no idea what’s happening here…”

  “Yes I do,” I said. “You want to know something, Vera? I fell in love with a girl once, okay? It was right around the time Uly and I were going to sign a deal for our music. You said you’re a big fan, right?”

  “Yeah,” she said. “That’s not a lie. My sister told me about you. She saw you a few times. Her and her friends would go to your shows. I never did.”

  “So why show up now?” I asked.

  “Heard enough and wanted to see,” Vera said. “I had nothing else to do.”

  “So that’s it? Because you had nothing else to do you come crashing into my life and here we are?”

  “Not like the movies, right?”

  “I don’t know what this is.”

  “Maybe it’s a horror movie.” She smiled at me.

  “You’re missing what I’m saying,” I said. “I fell in love with a girl and she said she loved me back. Then she said the same thing to Uly. And Uly and I tried to kill each other over and over about it. It ruined the music. The chance we had to sign with a record label. It fucked up everything, beauty. And in BFH we are Them. And without Them bad shit happens. But that’s a whole other story.”

  “You and Uly play together now…”

  “Yeah,” I said. “Because of Ash’s girl, Belle. Again, that’s a whole other story too.”

  “You loved her?”

  “Belle?”

  Vera nodded.

  “I thought I did,” I said. “Or something like it. But it’s nothing compared to…”

  “That other girl?”

  “No, Vera. Nothing compares to what you’re doing to me.”

  She grabbed my shirt and shook her head. “I don’t know what’s real and fake, Hil. What I hear in my head, feel in my heart, what I know, what I don’t know, what I pretend, what I…”

  “Then just hang with me,” I said. “Feel what you want.”

  “My mother got back at him. One time.”

  “What?”

  “I started playing piano as a little girl. It was our thing. Veronica and I took lessons. We’d wear fancy dresses and take lessons. All for show, of course. My father wanted us to go to dinner parties and play piano together. His perfect, little girls. I started messing around with other instruments. There was a fancy music store and I got to know the guy who owned it. He was cool. He came from money and all he wanted was the music store. His brother was some rock star guy or whatever. My mother fucked him.”

  “Whoa,” I said. “That’s blunt.”

  “That’s what she did. She wanted to fight back. So she screwed him. And she made it so my father found out.”

  “Shit,” I said.

  “Oh yeah,” Vera said. “Nothing happened though. It was just like they stared each other down and hated each other. Which is no big secret inside the house. It’s funny because Veronica and I made up parts of the house. Like there’s the fake family part. There’s the fake dinner part. But then there’s the hate part. The only part of the house where everyone is real. And honest. Where everyone can go to argue with each other. Hate each other.”

  I shook my head. “That’s… I mean, you see this place, right? The main house is where my mother lives with Ash’s father.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Where’s…”

  “Ash’s mother died in a car accident,” I said. “My father is a piece of shit who tries to show up every now and again to look for money. They just pay him to go away. Last time he showed up I kicked his ass a little.”

  “Hil…”

  “Shh,” I said. “I’m not talking about it.”

  “You want to know the rest of the music stuff with me.” She rolled her eyes. “Fine. My father banned all music. We weren’t allowed to do anything else ever again. Veronica didn’t care. She hated playing piano. She was all about the life. The boys. The money. The cars. Her friends were the same. It was annoying to see. But I liked music.”

  “And you couldn’t play it…”

  “I had to hide it. I didn’t know what would happen if I ever got caught. And… everything so crazy and fake…”

  “Fuck this then, beauty,” I said. “Let’s go.”

  “Go? What? Where?” Vera asked.

  “Inside,” I said.

  “Hil…”

  “You can play all the music you want. But first, you need to do one thing.”

  “I already did that one thing,” she said with a smile.

  “No… not that.”

  “Then what?”

  “I want to know why you texted me to get you out of your house.”

  * * *

  She looked better with my guitar than I ever did.

  She sat on the floor of my bedroom and strummed away for a little while.

  I had to deal with the other people in my fucking life.

  Ash. Uly. Them.

  Belle.

  But not sweet Mara with the hot mama.

  She didn’t give a damn, and for that, I liked her best.

  Belle was a goddamn pain in the ass.

  As expected though.

  She always was.

  I kept it simple.

  I went to meet Vera.

  And then… leave me the fuck alone.

  I tossed my phone to the nightstand and reached down and grabbed the guitar out of Vera’s hand.

  “Hil.”

  “No. I want to know why you texted me.”

  Vera looked up at me. “Because I wanted your attention.”

  “Not good enough.”

  “Oh, you want me to lie? That something really bad happened…”

  “You were crying, beauty.”

  Vera’s face lost all color. “Oh.”

  “Shit,” I said. “Forgot about that, right?”

  “Hil…”

  “Tell me.”

  Vera nodded. “Okay. Whatever. It doesn’t matter now. It’s done and over with. I got into a fight with Veronica over dumb stuff. And I wanted to leave.”

  “Still not good enough.”

  “We were going to fly to Hawaii, okay? That’s the truth. I was going away. It was another stupid family thing. And my father had the trip all worked out.
This was a regular vacation. Which it never truly was. But there were photographers there, talking to him. And then acting coaches. They wanted to review our posture to one another. And it was just one of those days… I mean, when you’re just in a bad mood, okay? So Veronica and I were arguing and didn’t want to do anything with these acting coaches. Then it started to spiral out of control. Every little thing started to go wrong. My mother had that extra glass of wine that made her chatty. And by chatty… I mean bitchy. She made a comment about some island girl. She wanted to know how to cover it up. ‘Right, Ted?’ she said in a drunk voice. And my father’s face told the truth. He wanted to take us all to Hawaii so he could screw some woman. And you know what? It’s one thing to cheat… but to go back… if you keep going back, it’s not just cheating then. Right?”

  I watched her eyes. The way her mind worked. So used to this kind of life. Where cheating was okay but an affair wasn’t. It was so fucking deep…

  Vera had hit the emergency brake on the crazy road and cut the wheel to serious. And not just cut the wheel but she was driving as fast as Ash liked to drive his car.

  All I could do was nod.

  To listen and to be there for her.

  “Everyone started to just feel it,” she said. “The pain and tension. And Veronica walked by me and bumped into me on purpose. I called her a cunt and she tried to slap me. I grabbed one of the cameras from the photographers… and I threw it at her. She punched it and it hit the floor and shattered. I mean, who gives a fuck, right? It’s a camera. It’s money. We’re good. But the entire thing was just… it was so intense… Then my parents started to argue in front of everyone. I swore I saw his hand move like he was going to do something crazy. So I told the photographer to get a camera ready for the truth. No acting needed. My mother snorted like a dumb drunk and my father pointed at me. And he growled and said, ‘This is why I never wanted a fucking test tube family…’ and he stormed out of the room. And… you know… my parents couldn’t get pregnant so they went through whatever it is to get help to get pregnant. And instead of getting one kid, they got two. And I swear if they had a chance to do it again, they would have left me in the hospital for someone else and just taken Veronica. We don’t look alike… so who cares…”

  I heard her voice crack.

  She turned her head.

  I slid from the bed to the floor and put my hand over hers.

  Vera took deep breaths to keep from crying.

  What a messed up world she lived in.

  “I’m not sorry I took your clothes and motorcycle, by the way,” she said with her head still turned away. “I wanted to fuck with you. I wanted to see how far I could push you. Because I heard the stories about you. About Them. The bad boys from BFH. I know all the stories, Hil. Hidden Creek High. Bay Falls High. Brooks Crest. Never been to any of those places, but I know.”

  “So why do that… because just wanting to fuck with me… that’s bullshit.”

  “What do you want me to say, Hil?” she asked. She turned her head and looked me in the eyes. “That I’m fucked up and like it? That I wanted you to be pissed off like me? That I wanted you to come after me? That the only thing I know is anger as a source of love?”

  I touched her cheek with my right hand and kissed her.

  I pulled away and shook my head.

  “What?” Vera whispered.

  “Here I thought you were just crazy. I didn’t know you were so deep. It’s kind of a turn off.”

  “What?”

  I inched away from her. “You heard me.”

  “Hil…”

  I slowly smiled.

  “Ohmygod I hate your guts,” Vera said. She started blinking fast.

  I laughed. “I can play the game too, beauty. And I will win this war. So you can leave if you want.”

  “What if I decide to stay?”

  “I’m not sure,” I said. “I only ever wanted one other person to stay and she left.”

  “You know what I said before was real, right?”

  “I know,” I said. “I’m on to your lies now, Vera. That sucks for you.”

  “No, it doesn’t,” she said. “I’ll just get better at lying.”

  Vera then stood up.

  She towered over me.

  I looked up at her and I could tell she wasn’t playing around.

  Being with her was like being in a sea of truths and lies mixed together. Kind of like living with myself. Doing and saying whatever was needed to get what I wanted.

  And now this beautiful girl stood there, staring down at me, with the same intentions.

  I put my right hand out for her to take.

  When she grabbed it, she tried to say something, but I pulled her down to my lap.

  She straddled me and I slipped my hands under the hoodie to find out it was just those pink shorts and a hoodie. Nothing else.

  We stared at each other as my hands began to explore.

  Touching her. Kissing her. The look in her eyes then…

  That was the only time she couldn’t lie to me.

  * * *

  I wandered downstairs and outside.

  I smoked a cigarette and knew Vera was gone.

  She wasn’t going to be in the kitchen making breakfast or drinking coffee. She wasn’t going to be curled up in a chair or on the couch, looking fucking beautiful as she stared at me with playful morning after eyes.

  That wasn’t her style.

  She wasn’t going to be in the shower either.

  She wasn’t going to be anywhere in the house.

  She was gone.

  I finished my cigarette and went upstairs to the bedroom.

  Her bag was gone.

  She left nothing behind this time.

  But she did take something.

  She took my fucking guitar.

  The cloth case was on the floor, opened, and the guitar was gone.

  “Fuck,” I whispered as I stared down at the bag.

  My phone started to ring and when I saw Uly’s name, I curled my lip.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “Morning, sunshine,” Uly said. “How was your night?”

  “We don’t do small talk stuff, Uly. What’s up?”

  “We’re going to figure this Werthwood thing out really soon,” Uly said. “Those two goobers we were talking to have been asking a lot of people about it. It’s getting heated. I think I can safely say it wasn’t someone from here.”

  “They were wearing a BFH hoodie, right?”

  “Big deal. Anyone could wear that shit.”

  “True,” I said. “Well, that’s good. Between those two and Mookey lumbering around, we’ll get it worked out.”

  “Are you tired…?”

  “Nope,” I said.

  “Is your bed empty?”

  I looked to my bed and nodded. “Yup.”

  “Bullshit, Hil.”

  “I’m not lying. I have no reason to lie.”

  “Tough break,” Uly said. “Tara was pissed at you, man. She got upset. Started tearing up and shit. Belle and Mara helped her to her car and she finally drove off. It was weird.”

  “Yeah… I… uh… had an emergency.”

  “Change of heart?” Uly asked.

  “Goodbye,” I said.

  I ended the call.

  I was supposed to make my way to BFH. I was already late.

  So… fuck it.

  I changed my shirt and went to the main house for something to eat.

  Luckily I didn’t run into my mother or Ash’s father.

  A free plate of food, some coffee, and another cigarette on the walk back to my place, I was good to go.

  And by good to go, I was going to surprise Vera.

  There wasn’t a story she could tell me that would legit drive me away.

  Her house was a fucking disaster. Oh well.

  Her father fucked around and her mother loved the cash and they took fake vacations with photographers and acting coaches… yeah, that shit was r
eally heavy. But so was a guy like me showing up to the front door.

  I was going to prove to Vera that sometimes the truth was okay.

  Again, of all people… me.

  I was going to be the voice of reason? Of truth? Of love?

  I exhaled and shook my head.

  Things were really fucked up in your life if you were depending on me.

  I got on my motorcycle and rode out of town to the crazy mansions again.

  It was much different in the daytime.

  Everything was so open.

  So clear.

  The pieces of property were fucking gigantic.

  And then there was Vera’s.

  The tall gates were open, which surprised me.

  I was thinking I was going to have to tease her that I was outside.

  This meant I could go right up to the door.

  I laughed to myself as I cruised along the driveway.

  The house was set a lot more forward than most of the other houses. Which just meant behind the house there was a lot more space.

  I parked my motorcycle and turned the engine off.

  There had to have been cameras on me.

  I was shocked nobody had come out to greet me yet.

  Then it hit me… what if she’s not home?

  What if she bolted and then her family took that Hawaii trip?

  I hurried toward the biggest house I’d ever seen.

  I never thought in my life I’d see a house bigger than the one my mother and Ash’s father had.

  Again, this thing like looked a castle. A palace. A mile wide. Everything symmetrical.

  I walked up the large front steps to the large front door and I pressed the large button.

  There was a screen above the doorbell.

  I side stepped to get out of the screen.

  And I waited.

  I started to reach for the button after a minute.

  I hit it two times.

  Vera’s voice yelled from the inside.

  “Wait a second!”

  I smiled.

  I pressed the button again two more times.

  She said something but I couldn’t make it out.

  The heavy door finally opened.

  “Surprise, beauty,” I said as Vera stood there in the same hoodie as last night.

  Her eyes went wider than I’d ever seen them before.

  I thought I had her…

  Until I realized the surprise was on me.

  She was holding a baby against the right side of her body.