Maybe Baby Lite

by ANDREA SMITH

  I finally managed to make it to the horse barn. I was drenched, my robe and my long silk nightgown clung to my body. I shivered as I pulled the heavy door open and entered the stable. Once inside, I frantically looked around as rivulets of water dripped from my hair onto my face. The stalls were empty. The doors to the stable were closed. There was no way they could have left the barn with the doors shut, unless someone had deliberately let them out. My God, was Trey out there now, trying to get them rounded up and back into the barn?

  I raced down the aisle, my soaked flip-flops squeaking with every step. Every stall was empty. This had to have been done on purpose. There was no other possible explanation. Just then I heard a noise from behind me. It was Trey. Thank God! He was completely dry; I wasn’t sure how he'd managed to stay dry in the torrential storm.

  “Tylar,” he said angrily, “what are you doing out in this storm? Look at you, you're soaked.” He grabbed one of the horse blankets that hung outside a stall. He handed it to me, instructing me to start drying myself off while he went to get more. He was back in an instant with several more blankets. He laid one out on a pile of straw over in the corner by the door to the tack room.

  “Here,” he coaxed softly, “come over here where it's more comfortable.” I did as he instructed. "Tylar we have to get these wet clothes off of you. You'll catch your death of cold.”

  He left no room for argument, untying my robe, and removing it from me. He peeled my silk nightgown off followed by my panties. He gave me a blanket to wrap myself in. I felt warm and safe once again.

  “How'd it get so cold out?” I asked him. “You’re not even wet.” He didn’t answer me; he just continued to rub the blanket against my skin to get my entire body dry and warm. Finally my shivering stopped. I stretched out on the blanketed straw. He gazed down at me with those gorgeous sapphire eyes. I was dry, warm, and safe with Trey. I discarded the blanket that had been wrapped around me. I wanted Trey to see me as I was. His eyes perused every inch of my body. I saw the hunger in his eyes.

  “What are you thinking?” I asked feeling emboldened.

  “I’m thinking how good it would feel to fuck you,” he said pointedly.

  “What’s stopping you, then?” I was so bold now. He lowered himself down next to me. He reached over and pulled me up into his lap. My legs straddled each side of him. He pulled my face toward his, until our lips met in a searing, hot kiss. I could feel his erection beneath his jeans and reached for it, rubbing my hand against his jeans, feeling it getting larger.

  Suddenly he stopped. He lifted me off of his lap and stood.

  “We can’t do this, Ty,” he said abruptly. I'd never heard him call me Ty before.

  “Why not?”

  “I belong to someone else." he said, walking away.

  I was consumed with humiliation and shame. What a fucking idiot I'd made of myself. I was suddenly alone, sitting on a blanket, totally naked and rejected. I stood up and wrapped the blanket around my body like a bath towel. I found my soaked flip-flops and slipped them on. Rain or not, I was going back to my cottage and, darkness or not, I was leaving this place.

  I stumbled past the door to the tack room. There was a small window in the door, and I could see that Trey wasn't alone. Did I want to know who was in there with him? Did I want to know who he'd left my cottage to meet? I barreled through the door. Trey looked back at me then turned his attention back to the woman standing there in front of him. It was my mother! She looked over at me and smiled. “Hey baby girl.”

  “Mom!” I shrieked, horrified. “What are you doing here?”

  “Well now what do you think, baby girl?” she purred.

  Mom looked at me as Trey stepped in front of her. She had the necklace and pearl drop earrings on. They were in this together! She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his handsome face down to hers. She kissed him long and passionately.

  “Pay attention baby girl,” she instructed. “I’m going to show you something that you’ve never managed to learn after all of these years. I’m going to show you how to please a man.”

  She dropped to her knees in front of Trey. I heard the sound of his zipper being lowered. I saw my mom tug at him and I heard her soft moans as she began her sensual rhythm of sucking and loving his beautiful cock.

  “No!” I screamed. “Stop it, stop it now! Can’t you see what she's doing? Why are you letting her use you to hurt me? Why? Why do you want to hurt me? I can do those things! I can be what she is!”

  Trey’s face was suddenly right in front of mine. He looked angry. I'd really pissed him off this time. Maybe he was still angry with me racing Jezebel. He started shaking me roughly.

  “I promise I won’t ride anymore. Just stop, please. Trey please just stop…”

  “Tylar!” He was screaming now.

  He had my face cupped in his hands. His hands were wet as they gently rubbed my face. The room was light. The electricity had come back on. My window A/C unit was humming again; the air was cool. There was no more lightning and thunder.

  “Did the rain stop?” I asked. “Why are your hands wet?”

  I realized then that my face had tears running down both cheeks. His hands were wet from my tears. He looked so alarmed.

  “Tylar you had me scared shitless!” He was beside me on the bed, pulling me out from under my covers, onto his lap. He was cradling me on his lap, rocking back and forth. “What did she do to you Tylar? Tell me for the love of God, what'd she do to you?”

  CHAPTER 12

  I awoke and saw the sun streaming in through my bedroom window. My window A/C unit hummed. I stretched languidly and realized that Trey’s arm was wrapped around my waist. I foggily remembered a tumultuous dream; I was glad he was here. He'd slept next to me all night with his arms around me. My mind turned to the break-in and confusion of the night before. I glanced over to my dresser and the two blue velvet boxes were still there, quite real. The reality of the jewelry wasn't part of the nightmare, that puzzle still required solving.

  I gently rolled over, careful not to wake Trey. I wanted to watch him in all his gorgeousness and try to remember pieces of the night before. As I watched Trey sleep, I was amazed that this beautiful man cared about me. I wasn't sure of his motivation. My mom had always repeated to me that men simply weren’t to be trusted. She'd once told me that she'd held on to her virginity until her wedding night with my dad. She'd confided to me that I was conceived the very first time she had marital relations. She explained that was the reason she was fanatical about practicing safe sex. She claimed my father had lost interest in her after I was born and went elsewhere for romance.

  Trey’s hair was mussed from sleep. I reached my hand up and brushed some hair back off of his brow. He stirred feelings in me that I'd never known. They were confusing at times, but I resolved to go with my heart. This morning, I wanted to pamper him. I exited noiselessly from the bed, and slipped into my robe and slippers. I quietly opened the bedroom door and went out to the kitchen, shutting the door softly behind me. I put the coffee on figuring Trey to be a coffee drinker. I checked the fridge and got out the eggs, milk, and cheese for an omelet. I could hear Trey stirring in the bedroom, then the bathroom sink running.

  When Trey emerged I had to giggle. He was wearing my older shabby blue bathrobe. It was pretty tight on him and the sleeves went only to his elbows. “You look nice this morning,” I greeted him cheerily. He cocked one eyebrow, scratching the back of his head and immediately grumbled for coffee. My man wasn't a morning person.

  “Sit down,” I instructed, and filled one of the mugs with steaming coffee. “Cream or sugar?” I asked sweetly.

  “Black is fine, Tylar,” he said, yawning, as I handed him the mug.

  He took a sip of coffee and then another. I handed him a plate with toast and an omelet and sat down across from him with my plate.

  “This looks great, Tylar,” he said as he started digging in, “Umm…it's good.”

  “I’m glad you
like it,” I said.

  We ate in silence for a few minutes, but I knew he was going to start pressing me about my dreams. I was pleasantly surprised when the first thing he said had nothing to do with my dreams.

  “What do you have planned for today, Tylar?” he asked, looking up from his plate, chewing thoughtfully.

  Falling in love with you…

  “I really hadn’t planned anything. Just playing it by ear I guess.”

  “Do you want to take Derringer out for a ride?”

  I was shocked. What happened to, “Nobody mounts my horse but me?” I wasn’t about to throw that up to him now.

  “Well sure, you mean together?”

  He frowned at me. “That's the idea. I mean if you want to start exercising him in the arena, you need to get used to him. I thought maybe we'd ride him together.”

  “It sounds great to me. When do you want to do this?”

  He glanced down at his Rolex. “I’ve got to get back to my house and clean up. I have a few emails to answer. Let’s meet at the stables in a couple of hours, around noon?”

  “It’s a date,” I answered smiling.

  He leaned over the breakfast bar and gave me a peck on the cheek. I felt almost giddy. We finished up with our breakfast. Trey did the dishes while I made the bed. He told me he'd see me in a couple on his way out.

  It was just past 11:30 a.m. when I headed down to the barn, making absolutely sure that my cottage was locked. It felt anxious in there now since I knew that someone had let themselves in, leaving those boxes in my bed. Someone from my past.

  I entered the barn and walked down the aisle between the horse stalls to the tack room. Opening my locker, I grabbed my hunt cap and riding gloves and zipped my half-chaps up over my jeans. I heard a man’s voice in the aisle. Peeking out the tack room door, I was relieved to see it was Trey. I was more skittish these days than any horse in the stable.

  My stomach had butterflies as I watched Trey get Derringer saddled up. He knew what he was doing. He'd put an all-purpose saddle on Derringer for today. It made sense being that he wanted the Lipizzaner to get accustomed to me riding him, but I wasn't worried that it would take long. Trey was dressed impeccably in English riding garb. He was wearing a white linen shirt, with fawn colored breeches that clung to his well-muscled thighs and tight ass. His black field boots shone. I was already taking much pleasure watching his sinewy moves as he readied the horse. He put his riding gloves on after he finished adjusting Derringer’s bridle, having been assured the fit was gentle.

  As I gazed at him, in the back of my mind my mom’s nagging witch’s voice was harping to my subconscious convincing my id that Trey was too handsome, too rich, too polished, and too classy for trash like me. I pushed the thoughts down.

  Trey smiled when he saw I’d arrived and I joined him in the aisle. Together we led Derringer out of the stable, halting at the mounting block on the lawn. Trey mounted Derringer expertly and I looked up at him.

  “Where do you want me?” I asked cautiously.

  “Well for now, how about up on the horse with me?” He grinned mischievously as he lowered his left arm down and with little effort, swung me up, placing me right in front of him. I was encircled by his arms, my head resting comfortably against his chest. I suddenly felt shy and giddy. With a squeeze of his calves against the horse’s side, we were off at a walk.

  After a few moments of walking, we'd left the stable far behind us and came to an open meadow. Trey leaned down and whispered in my ear.

  “Ready to pick up the speed?”

  I nodded. Pressing his calves against Derringer’s side again, Trey asked the horse to trot. Behind me in the saddle, I felt his hips rise to post. I leaned into him and matched his rhythm. Since Trey and I were virtually sharing a saddle at the moment, it was a bit difficult for me to do anything but remain close within his arms. As the horse trotted, our bodies moved up and down in the saddle in unison. Although I had no idea what lovemaking felt like, I suspected the rhythm was similar to this.

  At the far end of the meadow, there was a crystal clear stream and plenty of shade trees. He reined the horse over to a large tree that offered ample shade. A couple of yards away, there was a large log lying horizontally on the ground that bordered the stream. Trey slid down off of the horse, taking me with him. I was puzzled by the short ride, but my instincts told me that we were going to have a discussion first. Play later. He dropped Derringer’s reins to the ground. The horse happily stayed close, eating grass.

  “Come with me, Tylar,” he held out his hand and I slipped mine into it. We walked over to the log, and Trey straddled it, pulling me down once again in front of him. This time I was facing him. I looked up at him questioningly.

  He smiled and held out his hands, pulling me close to him, cupping my chin gently with his hand, and tipping my face up to meet his eyes. Those sapphire blue eyes were so intense and yet tender at the same time. He gazed at me beneath his dark lashes and I knew it was time. It was time for me to feel his full lips on mine and God I wanted to!

  “I need you to know something Tylar,” his tone serious. “I'll never go beyond the boundaries of what you permit me to do as far as touching you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  “I think so,” I whispered, studying his expression closely.

  He continued, “I'll never let our relationship get physical beyond what you're ready for, regardless as to whether you communicate otherwise, okay?”

  Oh God, he's referring to that whole, “Trey, will you fuck me?” disaster.

  I felt myself turn beet red. I pulled my legs up, folding them in front of me like a fort of protection. I wrapped both arms around my bent legs and lowered my face so that my chin was resting on my knees, I avoided his eyes. I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I suspected he guessed that I was a virgin, and a damaged virgin at that. Trey reached out with his hand, tilting my chin up, forcing me to look into his eyes. Eyes that were searching mine for something.

  “Tylar you've nothing to be ashamed of, do you understand that? We're going to make this right, damn it, I promise you that!”

  Okay, now I'm a bit confused.

  Obviously, he'd figured out I was a virgin. I loved that he was telling me that I'd no reason to be ashamed of it, but what I totally wasn't getting was his promise to me that “we” were going to make it right. Trey sensed my confusion.

  “Do you want to talk about it Tylar?” he asked softly.

  “I do,” I answered, “but I'm a little bit embarrassed as well as confused.”

  “Just tell me what confuses you. You’ve no need to be embarrassed about anything; it’s not your fault, do you understand?”

  “Okay, here goes Trey. I'm going to just blurt it out because I can’t candy-coat stuff. That's just not my style”

  He nodded, ready for it.

  “I love that you're okay with the fact that I'm still a virgin and all,” I blurted. “But what I don’t understand is your promise that you and I are going to make that right when you refuse …uhhh…you are reluctant to fuck me because I guess you think I’m not ready. So I guess my question is how much longer do you think my virginity needs to stay intact?”

  I looked at him and suddenly realized I'd totally blown his mind. He couldn’t say I hadn’t warned him about my bluntness. I continued to watch him closely, waiting for a response. His expression was that of shock or confusion. Maybe a little bit of both.

  “You’re a virgin?” he finally sputtered. “I'd no idea; my God, are you sure?”

  “What do you mean, am I sure? I think I'd know, don’t you?"

  He looked stunned.

  "What the hell did you mean when you said ‘I'd nothing to be ashamed of’ and 'we'd make it right,’ then if you weren’t referring to my virginity?”

  “I was referring to what I presumed to be sexual abuse in your past. I mean the dreams, your aversion to things that come on suddenly. It points to some type of abuse; I guess I just assumed it was sexua
l.”

  “What?” I yelled. “Are you serious? Don’t you think that I'd know it if I'd been sexually abused?”

  “How do you explain the dream last night?”

  “It was a nightmare Trey! I’ve had a few since my concussion. They're weird and a little scary, yes, I admit that, but to think they indicate I've been raped or abused? That’s absurd!”

  “In last night’s dream you were screaming things at me. You were asking me why I was letting ‘her’ use me to hurt you. You then screamed that you could do those things; that you could be what she is.”

  “So?” I asked, defensively. “None of that sounds like I was raped does it?”

  “Who is she, Tylar?” Trey demanded, “Is she your mother?”

  I didn’t answer him. I turned away not wanting to look at him. I didn't want to have this conversation. Trey pressed on.

  “I've heard you shout out things when you were dreaming in the hospital too! You were trying to get out of bed. I had to restrain you. You said you wanted to slap her and call her a whore. You mentioned Daniel. Did Daniel hurt you in some way?”

  His eyes were searching mine for an answer. I was afraid to trust him with this secret. I didn't want to believe it was true.

  “Daniel was my high school boyfriend. I told you about him already,” I explained, not daring to look Trey in the eye. “I guess I must've dreamed about my prom while I was in the hospital. Daniel and I were going to make love for the first time after prom but it never happened.”

  “Why didn’t it happen, Tylar?”

  “I’m not sure,” I mumbled, “probably because I got drunk and then sick.”

  “Is that all that happened?” he asked softly.