by Lauren Wood
“I know.”
Anna told me that she was going back to bed. She didn’t tell me to stay away from Cal, but it went without saying. I was supposed to be here for her, not my own needs and desires. I wasn’t being a very good friend now.
“I’m sorry Anna. I don’t know what came over me, but it won’t happen again. I’m here for you and the wedding. I just didn’t see him coming.”
She said that she understood, but I didn’t even understand so I doubted her statement. I’d been caught off guard and let the wild side of me out again. It was hard not to when he was around but knowing that he was getting married would work in cooling my jets. It was the last thing that I wanted to hear. I wanted him to be mine and free, but it wasn’t to be. Cal was another woman’s and the little taste of pleasure from him would be the last.
I convinced Anna of that fact. Now I just had to convince myself of it as well.
I went back to bed and tried not to replay the last hour in my head. I didn’t see Cal again and I was glad for that. It was bad enough that I had to stay here now and be around Jesse. I was so embarrassed, and I thought about getting a hotel in the morning. I could still be here for Anna and her important day, but I wouldn’t have to meet Jesse in the kitchen for breakfast. How was I going to be able to face him after what just happened?
Cursing myself and my weakness towards Cal, I convinced myself that getting a hotel was the best way to go. I needed to get some space and a place where I could think. I don’t know what I was thinking, but it was hard to deny that I was still unsure what had happened.
I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I couldn’t have Cal. He was going to be married. I didn’t like the thought of that at all.
Cal
The morning was worse than the night. Before I was drunk and sobered up to a bad realization. This morning was worse because I had a headache and I still had to deal with the shit from before. I really didn’t think that what happened with Mariss was real when it was happening. I thought it was a dream. I really did. I would have done it one hundred times over of course and I knew that the excuse of me thinking it wasn’t real, wasn’t going to pan out.
I didn’t know if Anna was going to tell Marsha. They were friends, I knew that, and Anna would not stand by and say nothing, even if it was her other friend that I’d been with. I was sure that I was going to be walking into a hailstorm. I should just confess and tell her that the wedding was off. It shouldn’t have been going on as it was. It was something that had started somehow, and I’d been swept away in it. The fact of the matter was though, I didn’t want to be.
Now that I knew where Mariss was, and things were going well with her, I was thinking about our next meeting. It didn’t occur to me that Anna would also tell Mariss about Marsha and I would be had. It was all a damn mess and my head hurt even more when I thought about it. Fuck.
“Hey man, you up?”
Jesse came in with some coffee and a couple of pain killers. He was a godsend and I told him so because he really was. My head felt like it was going to explode. I was thankful that I didn’t have to go to work today because I would have been hard pressed to be productive at all.
“Yeah, I’m up, but damned if I want to be.”
“After last night, I bet. Anna is all fired up about it, so I wouldn’t pay her any attention when you go downstairs.”
My head was the worst of my problems now, but his bride was my second. I’d heard stories about her anger and I didn’t want it directed at me.
“Why don’t I just go out the back door and we can skip all of that?”
“Not a chance. If she lets it go with you, that means that she will chill out a bit for me.”
I just laughed and shook my head. “Throwing me under the bus?”
“You bet your ass I am. Now go downstairs and make an appearance so that she can scold you. It’s not so bad, not really. It’s kind of like getting rapped on the nose with a newspaper.”
“Good to know.”
I dreaded going downstairs because of Anna, but also Mariss. She most likely already knew that I was engaged, and it was going to be awkward. Would she confront me too? I had this irrational fear that Marsha would be down there as well, called in to bust me out. It wasn’t a good feeling and I felt like was going to my execution, not breakfast.
“Morning Cal.”
It was Anna that spoke to me. Mariss wouldn’t even look at me and she looked about as uncomfortable as I felt.
“Good morning Anna. Thanks for letting me crash on your couch.”
“No problem Cal. You know you’re always welcome here, as long as you don’t try to molest my friends in the middle of the night.”
If she would have been serious I would have gotten defensive, but she was teasing, something that I was thankful for. It was one of those times that I really had messed up and I didn’t get embarrassed by my action very often. I looked over to Mariss and I could tell that she was humiliated. She was bright red and I liked the look of it. It was a good look for her.
“Sorry about that Anna. Your friends are just too damn delectable.”
“Yes, you have been with a couple now, one you’re supposed to marry in a month.”
And then that happened. I thought it was all going so well. She had let me get my guard down and now I was going to get the ass chewing that I was sure was going to happen to begin with.
“Now it wasn’t supposed to happen like that. I was a little drunk…”
I stopped because there really was no answer that was going to get me out of this shit and I didn’t even want to try. I’d messed up. That was the end of it. I didn’t regret it.
“It happened. I don’t regret it.”
That was the end of it and I took a bite of eggs before I was kicked out. Anna had a temper and she could be a handful from what I hear, but she could also cook. Jesse would bring in leftovers from the night before and he shared with me once and a while.
The eggs were just as good as everything else and I wondered what it was that she did to them. They’re just eggs.
“These are great Anna. You really out did yourself.”
“So, did you from what I heard.”
Now I was getting red and I looked to Jesse to save me. He was smiling at his fiancée and I wondered if he liked that I was getting it. I knew that he didn’t want the barrel directed at him.
“I aim to please.”
Anna smiled, and I could tell that she was enjoying herself. I wanted to ask her if she was going to tell Marsha, but I was afraid of the answer and I didn’t want to push it one way or another. I noticed the shift in Mariss’ demeanor when the mention of my fiancée was brought up. I knew that was why she did it and I could have wrung Anna’s neck. She wasn’t going to make any of this easy, that was for sure.
Me and Anna bantered back and forth with Mariss and Jesse staying out of it. I wanted to catch Mariss alone to talk to her, but she was the first one done, ready to leave the table. I didn’t know what to say to her and I didn’t have an excuse to go after her.
Anna left not too long after that to go upstairs and get dressed. The two women had appointments to keep and I was happy to have a moment to breathe. I can’t believe that Jesse was willingly going to do that for the rest of his life. She was brutal and way too smart. I would be exhausted if I had to argue like that all the time.
“Is she done with me?”
God, I really hoped she was.
“For now. I think she was taking it easy on you because you have a hangover.”
I wasn’t going to disagree, but if that was true, then I would hate to see her at full tilt. We had our own plans that involved fishing and getting away from the women. I was ready for that more than anything after last night. Soon, this would be a normal thing and I didn’t want to lose Jesse as a friend. I had to make it up to Anna and to Mariss. I couldn’t even think about Marsha and how that was going to play out. I’d been avoiding her calls all day, prolongi
ng the inevitable as much as possible.
We drove in silence, both of us having a lot on our minds. Jesse had a wedding coming up and it was dictating a lot of his mind. I had one coming up as well, or I did, but that was the very last thing on my mind. The wedding wasn’t something that I was looking forward to. It was most likely not going to happen now and sadly, strangely, all I felt was relief.
Mariss
Breakfast was hard, but I was going to have to move on. I promised Anna that I would, and I meant it when I said it. I didn’t want to think that I couldn’t have him again, but I wasn’t going to be the other woman. I already was and that bothered me.
“You’re quiet.”
“It’s been a busy twenty-four hours. It’s good to see you again, but man, what a day that was.”
She giggled and said that it sounded and looked like it hadn’t turned out all that bad in the end.
“I can’t say that it wasn’t without it’s rewards. He is right when he says he aims to please. I don’t know what it is that he does, but wow.”
She giggled and wanted details. I didn’t have many because it all happened so fast and before was so long ago. I didn’t remember the specific details, but I remembered the feeling and the pleasure that he gave me. That was enough to keep me hooked all these years.
We were going out for some shopping before the wedding. She wanted to get a few things for their weeklong honey moon in Barbados. I wanted to get a few things for the fast-approaching summer and it was a beautiful day. I tried to steer the conversation away from what happened last night, and it didn’t take long. All I had to do was ask about Jesse and she would start glowing. Their love was palpable for anyone to see.
“I’m happy that you found him.”
“Me too. I hear Danny found her a man too.”
I agreed. Danny was in love and it was strange to have my two best friends in steady relationships. It made me feel like an outsider, but it also had me thinking about how my own love life was going. Now, it just wasn’t going. It was that simple. I had a few friends that I would see on occasion, but nothing special and nothing that was going to turn into anything else.
“She did. They are deliriously happy, and it makes me a little sick. But you know that I’m happy for her.”
Anna agreed and asked how she was doing. She asked about work and what I was doing with my aunt’s money.
“I don’t know. It’s weird to not have to ever worry about money again. I usually took jobs because I had to, now I just do what I want.”
She told me that she envied me, but I was feeling the same green monster on my back for completely different reasons.
“So what project are you working on now?”
“I’m doing a mural in the Townson Library on McCorckle. It will be really nice when it is finished.”
“A library?”
I smiled when I thought about it. “Yeah, just a library. It’s a massive train that goes through six rooms. It’s for the kids. They called me up about it and I had to.”
“Is that what you usually do?”
I told her that it wasn’t. It was an odd sort of job that I was approached about and the pay wasn’t very good at all. If I hadn’t inherited a fortune from my aunt, I never would have been able to take the job because of that very reason.
“I’m glad you’re getting to paint. It was always what you wanted to do. I’m sorry to hear about your aunt.”
Not really wanting to talk about that either because I still missed her, I waved her off.
“She got bad in the end. I had to move in with her for the last few months. She always did like you. She would ask about you from time to time Anna. Danielle would visit with me and she’d ask about the dark-haired one with the pretty green eyes.”
Anna smiled, and I know that she was remembering the summer we spent a few weeks there. My aunt Betty was a hoot and a half.
“Wow, I can’t believe I’m getting all worked up over it. I usually don’t.”
“Emotions are high. I know that mine are on crack right now. Seeing Cal, then being with him, then finding out he’s engaged. It’s a lot to process Mariss.”
“Thanks for not judging me for it.”
“How would you have known if he didn’t tell you? That’s on him, not you.”
She was right. My emotions and my thoughts in general were all over the place. I was going to blame this one on Cal. I was functioning before I ran into him again and now I was a mess.
“Well it’s done now.”
Anna agreed, and we pulled up at the store that she’d been raving to me about. We were there for candles that she was convinced was going to heighten their honeymoon and I was just going along with it. She’d read it somewhere in a book and though Anna was a good friend, we were also very different. Anna wanted to live like the pages of a magazine. I never did like all those fancy things. I had all the money I could ever use, but buying pretty things wasn’t really my thing. I kept trying to tell myself that today I was going to try it out.
I was happy to be there because that meant that the unsavory conversation would end while we were in there. Anna was going into shopping mode and I knew nothing got in her way then.
“You ready?”
“Yeah.”
We were sitting in the parking lot and it was crowded. I was going to have to see these candles for myself.
When we walked in, the place smelled good. It was the kind of aroma that knocked you in the face a little bit. There were so many smells mixed together that I couldn’t distinguish one from the next.
“So, what’s so great about these candles?”
“They’re really pretty, last for months and you don’t even have to light them. They just smell that good all the time.”
“So, we’re here to buy candles that you’re not even going to light?”
I was a little incredulous and she smiled.
“Well when you say it like that, it really takes the fun out of it.”
“Wouldn’t dare to do that Anna. Let’s get you some non-burning candles.”
I tried not to laugh, but her antics were funny. I was looking around when I heard Anna say a name I’d heard before.
“Marsha. Well what are you doing here? I thought you had to work today?”
“I did, but I’m supposed to be doing some deliveries for the boss. I can’t help it if I slip in here for a few minutes. What are you doing here?”
“Just getting some candles for the honey moon. I wanted everything to be perfect. A good friend of mine is in town and I wanted to take her to some of the shops.”
I heard my name called next and I turned to finally see who it was that Cal was engaged to. I had just gotten oral sex from her man a few hours before and it appeared that she knew nothing about it. How badly I wanted to make sure that things stayed that way. This could get awkward real fast.
“Nice to meet you Mariss. I’ve heard so much about you.”
“And I you.”
I took her hand and I felt a jolt from her touch. I wanted to recoil, but I couldn’t, so I just sort of smiled and tried my best not to let her see that I was bothered by her. I instantly hated the woman, even though I had no right to feel anything towards her, least of all hate.
Cal
I decided that I had to call Marsha back. She’d been calling a lot and I hadn’t answered any of them today. I hadn’t been home, something I’m sure she was aware of and she was going to want to know why. I still wasn’t working on that answer, but of course, there was the chance that she was going to already know about Mariss and what we’d done together. That wasn’t something that I was ready to deal with, not really.
After I got home, I knew I had to call. It was getting later in the day and she would be upset if I didn’t call her. If she didn’t know, there was no reason to rock the boat.
So, I dialed and held my breath. I needed to talk to her, so I would know what I was going into Monday morning for work. If I wasn’t going to ha
ve a job, I needed to know that. Jesse hadn’t heard anything, but Anna wasn’t going to tell him because she knew that he’d tell me. I felt like my dick was in a vice and I didn’t like the feeling of it at all.
“Hey baby! I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for hours.”
“Sorry, I was running around with Jesse.”
“I know. You will never guess who I ran into at Sobee? It was just the funniest thing. I know you hear that it’s a small world, but it really is.”
“Who?”
Marsha liked to talk about things that didn’t matter. I saw that this was going into one of those long conversations about nothing and I wanted to get to the gist of things quickly. She didn’t seem mad and I didn’t think that Marsha had it in her to really pretend she was happy when she wasn’t.
“Anna and her friend Mariss. She’s the cutest thing. Just like a little button and I want to boop her nose.”
Marsha was in full stride today and I realized quickly that she was standing in front of them, having this conversation with me. It meant that Mariss was there with her. Things just got worse and the cock vice that I was feeling earlier was getting turned and tighter.
“Oh, is that so?” What the hell else was I supposed to say?
“Yeah, where are you at honey? Would you like to come out with us and grab a bite? We were just about to go.”
“No, I’m on the other side of town, over by the bridge.”
“Perfect, so are we. I will see you at Lucy’s Bar in a bit. Okay babe?”
I said okay because I was still in shock. She wanted me to go out with her, her friend that caught me tongue banging her other friend, which I banged in my past. What could go wrong?
Staring at the phone like it was a weapon, I wanted to kick myself for calling her at all. What the hell had I just got myself into?
With no choice left but to face the music, I got dressed from what I was wearing the day before and took another cold shower. Thoughts of Mariss had to be squashed immediately. I didn’t know if this was a set-up or not. It could be. It very well could be, and that idea made the drive down to one of our favorite restaurants a little harder to swallow.