by Lauren Wood
The line had showed up and I was in the same boat. I couldn’t believe it and I was still in shock as I heard the phone ringing. When she picked up, I didn’t know what to say for a moment, but then it all came out. There was no time for pleasantries, or anything like that. It was strictly time to get it out.
“I’m pregnant Anna and it’s Cal’s.”
“What?”
She sounded as surprised as I was.
“You heard me.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sitting here looking at a stick right now. I don’t want to believe it, but it’s true. I haven’t had a period in a couple of months and I’m getting sick every morning, well all day really.”
“Yeah, I don’t know why they call it morning sickness. It’s not morning sickness, it’s you feel like shit all day sickness.”
“Well I’ve got it and I got an extra pink line on this damn test.”
There was a silence and I didn’t know what to say and apparently Anna didn’t either. Eve didn’t get it. She was trying to get pregnant. She was in love. She was everything I wasn’t. Anna had to understand because she was in the same boat.
“Congratulations Mariss.”
“That’s not what I expected you to say. You’re pregnant too and the creep isn’t in the picture. We’re going to have these babies without dads. How can that be a good thing?” I just didn’t get how she could be so calm about it. Last week she wasn’t so calm about it at all. I needed that Anna back.
“I don’t know Mariss, I just know that everything happens for a reason. You used to always say that.”
I didn’t remember saying that, but she could very well be right for all I know. Something was going on and I wanted to know what it was. I could feel it in my bones and I wanted to know what had changed with her. I hadn’t been back home that long, maybe a little over a month.
“What’s going on Anna?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you’re acting strange and now all of a sudden you don’t hate Jesse anymore.”
“I never hated him, I was just hurt.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. There was a reason that she didn’t hate him suddenly and I had a feeling that it was because she had changed her mind about some things. Was she back with Jesse? When I asked her, she paused long enough for me to have my answer.
“Oh, come on Anna? Are you serious? You are back with him?”
I couldn’t believe it. I really couldn’t, but there was a small, quiet part of me that knew it gave me the opening I needed to get back with Cal. I wanted the same thing to happen and now I knew that it could. It didn’t mean that me and Cal would get back together, but it certainly put the thought in my head for it to.
“I don’t know Mariss. It just kind of happen. We ran into each other and he found out that I was pregnant. I didn’t tell him, he just knew. I was barely showing, but he knew.”
“So, then what happened?”
I was trying to figure out how they got from that to back together. How was this even possible?
“We just got to talking and I missed him Anna. You know how much I love him. I didn’t want to go on without him. It was just too hard and the baby…”
I sighed to myself, yes, the baby…
Cal
“I don’t really want to pick you up there. Can’t you just come outside, and I’ll wait in the parking lot?”
The idea of seeing Anna in the flesh was not something that I looked forward to. She never had anything nice to say to me and I could almost guarantee that she didn’t have anything nice to say now.
“Come on, it’ll be okay. She isn’t mad at you. You didn’t do anything wrong, though she may try to stab me as I sleep, not sure. She gets that look in her eyes sometimes.”
I chuckled a little, but it was forced. I don’t know how the hell he it did, but Jesse had gotten her back. When I asked him how, he said something about she made his face a prune. Still I wasn’t sure, but I had some ideas.
Getting off the phone, I cursed him and made my way to the man’s door. He was going to be a few minutes and we had a couple of jobs that we had to bid on. Instead of worrying about getting a job, we’d decided to try and go into business for ourselves. That was going well until he got back with Anna and I was expected to be around her. It was strange, and I didn’t want to.
Knocking on the door, I hoped that she was in a good mood. I was a little shocked when she opened the door because it was obvious that she was pregnant. Jesse hadn’t told me about that and I was a little out of my element.
“Hey Cal, why don’t you come on in. Jesse is just getting out of the shower, so he shouldn’t take too long.”
I thanked her and moved inside, still waiting for her to hit me or something. I’d gotten a lot of hate after the scandal, like I’d done it too. I had to Marsha, so that really hadn’t helped my case. We’d both been scum to most involved that knew the story. I hadn’t tried to fight the title, figuring there was no point to.
“I have some coffee going if you would like some.”
“Thanks Anna, I think I would.”
The house was quiet and for a moment I wondered if Jesse wasn’t tied up somewhere. I still couldn’t believe that Anna would somehow forgive him. It just didn’t seem possible. I was at the wedding and I saw for myself how much of a freak show it turned into. It was like the scene from a movie and I’d thought there was no going back. How did he do it? Maybe I was the one that needed some pointers about getting and old flame back, but my old flame wouldn’t even talk to me, so there was nothing much that I could do.
“So how have you been? I see that there have been some changes.”
“Yeah, Jesse didn’t tell you?”
“No, I bet he wanted me to find out this way. He likes to shock me.”
Anna smiled. “Are you shocked?”
I nodded that I was. I didn’t even know that Jesse wanted kids. How was this going to work out? Was this the reason that they were suddenly back together? That wasn’t something that I could mimic. I couldn’t go get Mariss knocked up, no matter how badly I wanted her back in my life. There had to be another way.
“Well, it’s what happens.”
“Is that why you guys are back together? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you are, you know how much Jesse loves you, but I didn’t think it would happen.”
“I didn’t either Cal, but you know, things work themselves out.”
I agreed, but I wanted to ask more. I wanted to know how this happened, but not just that. I wanted to know how her friend was doing. I know that Mariss had left some time ago, but I didn’t know how she was or what she was doing. I didn’t know anything and that bothered me more than I can really say. I wanted to see her, and I wanted everything with her to be good. I missed her.
“Is there something you want to ask me Cal?”
“Huh? Why do you ask that?”
She shrugged and told me that I just looked like I did. I don’t know how that is, but I knew that she knew more than she should.
“I wanted to ask how your friend is doing, but I don’t know if that would be a problem or not.”
“Not at all. I was wondering when you would. Do you care for her like you say you do?”
“I love her Anna, that’s all I know. She took something out of context and thinks that I did something that I didn’t.”
“Well have you tried to explain yourself?”
“She won’t answer my calls.”
“When is the last time that you called her?”
It had been a while. I got sick of hearing the phone ring and ring, followed by the automated voice that tells me to leave a message. There was no point. She never called me back, so why leave one?
“I don’t know. It’s been a while.”
“You should give her a call Cal and see what’s going on. I think she’s had enough time to get over all of it.”
; “Did you?”
“Yes, but if he ever does it again, I’m going to dickpunch him.”
I didn’t know if that was a thing, but she had me convinced. I’m sure that she had Jesse convinced as well.
When I left out of there with Jesse, all I could think about was her suggestion to call Mariss. Did she know something that I didn’t?
“So how did that go?”
“Better than I thought. I still can’t believe she forgave you.”
“You don’t sound happy.”
“I’m. You’re a damn mess without her, but I just wish that Mariss was as forgiving. I didn’t even do anything, and she won’t even talk to me. It’s a damn shame and your forgiven? The world is fucked up.”
He just shook his head and looked out the window. “It’s the baby that made her forgive me. You know, that right? It has really nothing more to do with it than that. She wants our child to have a father and I’m going to spend the rest of me life making sure that she doesn’t regret taking me back. She isn’t going to regret it.”
He’d turned a new leaf and I could see that Jesse meant it. I was glad for him. I just needed to pull my own crap away from it.
“Are you guys going to get married?”
Jesse gave me a look. “I’m not bringing that up and if we do, I swear to you we are going to elope far away where no one knows us.”
I had to chuckle a little because he was so serious. The last wedding had been a disaster. I didn’t blame him a bit.
“I think I need to make a call after this meeting. Break soon?”
He agreed, and we went into the building, trying to pretend that the meeting we were about to have wasn’t going to make or break our business.
Mariss
“Why don’t you come down for a little while? It’s not like you have work to do.”
The offer came out of the blue and I had to wonder why she wanted me to come see her right now. I was supposed to go see her next week, but she was upping the timeline.
“I do have a job that I’m finishing up.”
“Well finish up and come on. I want to pick out some baby stuff. I still think that you should just move out here. Come back home.”
“Why are you acting weird?”
“I’m not. I’m just emotional and I want my pregnant friend here to talk to. Jesse doesn’t get it. He’s a man and all he does is apologize a lot.”
“About what?”
“Everything.” She laughed. “He has taken it to heart when I hurt, like it’s his fault.”
“It wouldn’t hurt him to grovel for a while.”
“I agree wholeheartedly. I’ve never had such good massages before. He has magical hands.”
“I would be getting more than a damn massage if I were you.”
“You don’t think I should have forgiven him, huh?”
“I just don’t want him to hurt you again. I didn’t think you were going to and just because you guys have a kid together, doesn’t mean that you have to be together.”
“Are you talking about me or you?”
I sighed into the phone. “I guess a little of both.”
“So, when are you going to deal with it.”
“Next week I thought.”
“A week seems like forever.”
“Give me a couple of days.”
She sounded victorious, but I did have a job that was about over and nothing on the near horizon. I missed her too and there were some things that I wanted to talk to her about, things that I didn’t know if others not in our situation would understand.
“So, you’re coming?”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to see Cal. Can you make sure that he isn’t around?”
She said that she would, but for one reason or another, I really didn’t trust her when she said that. I felt like she was being sneaky, and it was never good when Anna was sneaky or did something because she thought it would be in my best interest. What it did was make me nervous, but I was ready to get out of here and go back. I didn’t want to stay, I just wanted to visit for a little while and it would be nice to do some shopping. I still had no idea about this motherhood thing and I wanted all the help I could get. It would be good to talk to Anna because we were going through the same thing and I had so many things that I was just so unsure of.
I got off the phone with her and it rang again. I thought it was Anna calling back because she had forgotten something. She did that a lot lately and we blamed it on the baby hormones because I was getting it too. It was like baby brain and it was turning to mush.
“I told you it was going to be a couple of days.”
“What is going to be a couple of days?”
“Cal?”
“Yeah, I’ve been trying to call you.”
“I know. I don’t really want to talk to you.”
“Why did you answer then?”
“I didn’t look, and I thought you were someone else.”
“Who did you think I was?”
He sounded almost jealous and I don’t know what in the world he was thinking. He had no right to be mad at me or ask me questions about who or what I was doing.
“None of your business Cal. Is there a reason that you called or are you just trying to be nosy?”
“I wanted to talk to you. It’s been a while.”
“Yeah, but you move on quickly from what I’ve heard so I’m sure you will be okay. Nothing has changed Cal, your reputation proceeds you.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Why not? It wasn’t even a week and you were with some girl and god only knows where.”
“There was a girl around, but she wasn’t for me. I didn’t and haven’t been with anyone else but you since we were together at Anna’s place.”
I wanted to believe him, really, I did, but at the same time I wasn’t sure if I should. He’d cheated on Marsha with me and for some reason, that just made me think that there was no way that he was going to be faithful or that he could be. There was a saying that if a man cheated with you, he would eventually cheat on me.
“I don’t know what you want Cal. You’re there and I’m here.”
“I can change that. I can be there in a couple of hours. I think we have a lot to talk about. Just tell me where you are, and I will be there as soon as I can.”
I believed that. I believed that he would come to me, but it wasn’t necessary. I was going to be there in a couple of days and he was just going to have to wait.
“I should be around that way by the end of the week. We can meet up then if you want. I don’t know when, but I’ll call you to set something up.”
He didn’t like my answer all that well, but that’s all he was getting from me. I didn’t want to argue about it anymore. I would see him soon and the prospect of it scared the crap out of me.
“Are you sure you want to wait? I can be there in a couple of hours.”
Cal sounded like he wanted some sort of sexual favors and I wasn’t sure what to say. My mind was there as well, but I knew better. I knew what happened when he had his mind on that. It made me unable to think and the next thing I knew, I was in trouble because I was naked, and he was inside of me. Sometimes I believed that was where he was supposed to be.
“I’m not in that big of a rush, are you?”
“Yes.”
I giggled before I could stop myself. I liked when he was like this. It made me feel like I had a little bit of power, even if it wasn’t all that much. I was going to use it to my advantage.
“You’ll have to wait.”
He growled at me and the sound made me think of other times that he had done it and it made me shiver. I told him that he had to wait, but I seemed to forget that it meant that I had to wait as well.
“What if I don’t want to wait?”
“You don’t have a choice. I will be up that way soon and then we will see what happens. That’s all I can say.”
I hung up after he wouldn’t stop with the innuendos. He was making m
e horny, a state I was apparently in easier now that I was pregnant. I wasn’t showing enough so that he would notice, and I wasn’t prepared to go through with it. I know that I’d agreed to meet with him, but minutes later I was half a mind to call it all off. I don’t know if I will be able to face him. He still had a power over me and what if when I tell him I’m pregnant he gets mad and wants to have nothing to do with either one of us? Just because it worked out for Jesse and Anna, didn’t mean that it was going to work out for us.
Trying not to worry about it all too much, I spent the rest of my time at home getting the job done that was already paid for. I turned down another so that I could go see Anna. I was also excited to see Cal again, even if it was all a mess. I shouldn’t, didn’t want to, but there it was for all to see.
I was practically giddy when I was getting on the plane. I knew where I was going and for once, I felt like I was going to get answers. I was still afraid of what those answers might be, but I was willing to at least try and be optimistic about it all. I wanted to think that everything was going to be okay, even though I really wasn’t sure if it was or not.
Somehow, I was able to take a nap while we were in the air and when I woke up, I was at my destination. The town was beneath me and I called Anna when I got off the tarmac.
“I’ can’t come right now, but I’m going to send someone to pick you up. Something came up.”
I thought about what happened the last time that she’d done that, and I wanted to make sure that this wasn’t going to be like that. She assured me that it was a friend of hers. She didn’t get into details and I didn’t specifically ask if it was Cal she was sending. If it wasn’t, I didn’t want to seem like I was talking about him all the time, even if it was true.
“Just hold tight. They’re already on their way and will be there soon.”
I got off the phone with Anna feeling the same way that I did before. She was up to something and I just wished I knew what it was. I didn’t like being in the dark and that was exactly how I felt now. I felt like I was in the dark big time.