Love Unspoken

by Delilah Hunt

  Crumpling the piece of paper inside her fist, she pushed past him. “That’s fine. I guess no thanks are needed for fixing my car since we’re even.”

  Not surprisingly she didn’t garner a reaction from him. Cole strode away and mounted his horse. From the seat of her car, Noelle watched his hand dip into his back pocket. His head lifted a fraction as he stared into the car, shaking his head while removing his hand from the pocket, devoid of the notepad she’d hoped he was going for. Once again, disappointment nipped at her heels. He didn’t even watch her drive off before turning the horse around in the direction of the ranch.

  Chapter Three

  Noelle.

  For the past two weeks no matter how hard he tried, Cole found it impossible to get her out of his head. It didn’t make a difference if he worked himself to the bone, clocking in eighteen hours each day on the range. As soon as he hit the sack instead of sleep coming to him, he’d lay awake for hours wondering what the fuck it was about her that was causing him to make a fool of himself.

  He wasn’t blind and he wasn’t an idiot despite certain people wishing to believe that of him. Cole swallowed hard. He had a horrible feeling Noelle was amongst those who thought because he lacked speech, his manhood or intelligence was also in question.

  At home on the Tumbling Y in Elk Basin, a town as much isolated as Copper Mesa, he didn’t have to deal with that problem. No, his problem was trying to keep the ranch in the McKinney name and provide support for his mother, ailing father and younger brother. As much as he loved the Tumbling Y, it was in equal parts the bane of his existence and his saving grace—the only possession of value he had to hold on to. If he wanted a woman like Noelle, it wasn’t going to happen without anything to offer except a ride in his pickup…or being able to fix a busted spark plug.

  Exiting onto a stretch of road, barren save for the bales of hay lying on the shorn patches of grass. Cole felt the familiar stirrings of home. A herd of cattle, heads low to the low brown grass scavenged for nourishment. Cole sighed. Why hadn’t anyone moved them to higher grounds?

  He kicked himself mentally. Of course he knew the reason. They were strapped for cash, unable to hire more than a handful of part time workers. His younger brother was still in high school, completing his final year. Derek didn’t have the time to take on many of the duties to assist his ailing father and overworked mother.

  A half-mile down the road later, Cole could not fight the feeling of anger and dissatisfaction skidding to the forefront of his mind. The sign his father crafted for the ranch came into view. Rusted and muddied, the metal crooked to the side, swaying in the evening breeze. It wasn’t pretty. Nor was it a welcome sight in front of his home. The sign represented everything that was wrong with the ranch, everything that was on his shoulders to fix. His lips curved in disdain. That fucking sign might as well represent him. Broken and lowdown with little appeal to anyone.

  No appeal to her.

  After pulling up in the driveway, Cole leaned across the seat to grab his bag. The front door to their modest split-level home eased opened. His mother stood there holding the frame ajar, a kitchen towel clutched between her plump hands.

  “I didn’t know you were coming home this weekend,” she said as he climbed the porch steps. Her hands moved in unison to her words, although he had no difficulty hearing. “Your father is resting and your brother’s on his way home from school. They’ll be glad to see you.”

  Cole glanced in the hallway leading to his parent’s bedroom. “How is he?”

  Eight months ago his father suffered a mini stroke and although he had recovered from it, Jamison McKinney never regained the majority of his strength, not only that, but it seemed as if the incident left him prone to even more ailments. His father was a shadow of the hardworking rancher, who had placed all his hopes and dreams on this piece of land in southern Colorado.

  “He’s coming along. Your father tries his best, but…” She shook her head and laid the kitchen towel on the edge of the sofa. “Never mind that. You know I hate to burden you with more than you already take on. How has everything been in Copper Mesa? The internet’s been down so I’m not sure if you’ve sent us any emails or not.”

  “Same as always. All right.” What else did she expect him to say? It was what she wanted to hear, needed to hear and even if things hadn’t been going well, he would never let on. His mother was one of the hardest working people he knew and he damn sure wouldn’t be the one to lay more stress at her feet, not when it was his turn to do the brunt of the work and take care of them.

  Her features softened, however the fine lines around her puffy eyes remained the same. “That’s good. Your father is looking forward to having you back here with us.”

  Cole lifted an eyebrow. Back here? It sounded more permanent than his sporadic weekend visits. “Is there something I need to know?”

  She flushed. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it.” Slowly, she eased onto the couch with shoulders slumped.

  “Mentioned what? I’m thirty years old, not a child. I expect to be informed when you or anyone else in this family think you can make a decision about my life without letting me in on it.”

  She lowered her head between her hands. “That’s not how it is,” she began, facing him. “You know your father and I don’t think you’re any less capable of managing your life than anyone else. If it wasn’t for you this ranch would have fallen to pieces, reverted back to the bank a long time ago.”

  Cole was fast losing his patience with her ridiculous acknowledgment of his contribution as if he could do any less. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  She avoided his gaze and toyed with the ring on her finger. In a low voice she answered, “Your father thinks it’s best if you returned to the Tumbling Y. He needs your help here.”

  She thought to just mention that and expect him to pack everything and return?

  “What about money?” He held out his hand, palm facing upward and tapped it with his other hand. “Wasn’t the point of me working someplace else to help offset the cost here?”

  “It was and it has helped. It might not show from the looks of this place, but we’re staying afloat. I hate having to tell you this, but the fact of the matter is, your father is not doing well and it’s just a matter of time before another stroke takes him from us.”

  Cole raked a hand through his hair. Why the hell did he get the feeling there was more to this than she was letting on? And so far, there had been no mention of his younger brother’s role in all of this. Surely he had to be of some help.

  “What about Derek? He’s old enough to contribute around here after he graduates. I can’t up and leave my job.” As if on cue, Noelle popped into his thoughts, her eyes flashing with the excitement he knew she would have rather kept hidden after he’d fixed her car. He wanted to see that again and again. Wanted to have her display it to him with open affection. He didn’t want to abandon the one place that kept him close to her.

  “Derek won’t be here.” She refused to meet his eyes. “Your brother received a full scholarship to Colorado State University.”

  A fist rammed into his stomach, knocking the wind out of him. An unwanted sense of anger, jealousy and disbelief settled in his gut. He didn’t begrudge his brother the achievement, but what about the opportunities he had to sacrifice as a teen to stay on at the ranch and help out? Even before he had graduated high school his parents had hinted that his presence was paramount. And now, they expected him to drop everything and return home so his brother could have the opportunities he was denied. Was it because they had higher expectations of Derek? He, Cole, was just big and silent, unable to amount to much in life. Was that how they viewed him?

  “I’m suppose to return here and take on his load in addition to everything else, is that right?”

  Her dark eyes widened. She quickly stretched out a hand to him. “Cole. It’s not like that. You know how your brother is. He doesn’t love this place as much as you and Derek�
�s always wanted to go—”

  He didn’t want to hear the rest of what she had to say. He needed to get away from the excuses that masked so many truths. Cole stalked out of the living room and outside to the small guesthouse he’d taken as his home for a few years as well. It never bothered him before the life he had chosen, living here and at the Somerset ranch, both places lonesome and devoid of any social life to speak of. He harbored no ill will toward his brother if he wanted out and wanted to experience life outside of cattle ranching. Heck, his mother was right about the love he had for ranching, but that was no excuse to assume the ranch was his entire life. That, although he would return to the Tumbling Y out of duty, there might not be someone else who needed him or that he might not have other obligations.

  Yeah right. Who was he kidding; he had nothing outside of maintaining the Tumbling Y. And he was thinking too much about Noelle again. Last night he’d ridden past the fence and caught a glimpse of the curtains drawn back, just barely. He looked up far too late, only to see the telltale swaying of the curtain. Noelle had been watching him and he had never been so tempted in his life to shake a woman. He wanted to drag the information out of her why she felt the need to watch him from afar. Then it hit him, whatever she was feeling, hatred or interest, he was equally as guilty. He was spending too much time going out of his way to watch her movements. For all he knew, she was wondering the same and wishing to do nothing but slap him across the face.

  Chapter Four

  Legs outstretched and her back against the trunk of a tree, Noelle raised her hand in a sweeping motion depicted in the book lying across her lap. In mid action, she dropped her hand to the blanket on the grass and snapped the book closed.

  “No point at all,” she chastised herself. No point except humiliating herself. Or perhaps, Cole wouldn’t even take her attempt to communicate with him seriously.

  Noelle slid the book inside her handbag and folded her arms behind her head. This was her spot, although it encroached on Mr. Somerset’s property. In the seven years she’d been coming here, she had yet to encounter another soul and was grateful for that small favor.

  It was here that the quiet rush of the river, the sunshine hitting through the branches of the Juniper and Cottonwood trees on those warm summer afternoons, after her family had first moved to Copper Mesa, helped to keep her sane. Not so much to prevent her from falling back into old habits, rather to get away from the constant lectures transfused with bouts of silence. It hadn’t changed much over the years, but she had gotten used to it.

  After all, her parents had given her all the opportunities other children could only pray for, they didn’t deserve to have a druggie as a daughter, regardless if she hadn’t made it as far into the addiction as some of the people she hung around with.

  Noelle grappled with the painful memories. She was not a drug user. She had gone through too much trying to shed that appalling label. Was still going through it, although no would look at her and suspect it. Definitely not Cole, her burly cowboy.

  God, she didn’t even want to ponder that train of thought. Thinking of Cole in such a personal way. And she didn’t have to. The sound of rustling bushes on the path leading from the ranch, grabbed her attention. Noelle straightened.

  Stretching on her tiptoes, she looked over the hedge. Cole. Her heartbeat quickened. She didn’t want to see him. Didn’t want him invading her private sanctuary.

  He strode toward the bank of the river, fingers pressed firm against his palm. She could see droplets of blood leaking from between the fingers.

  What the hell happened to him? Her wretched feet took a step forward and then another. Noelle stopped and watched as he bent in front of the river, placing both hands beneath the clear shallow water. Her feet scuffled on the dirt. Noelle jumped then froze when a twig snapped beneath her sandals.

  Snapping his head to the side, Cole caught wind of her presence. The breath hitched in her throat and blood pounded in her ears when his head lifted and their gaze collided.

  She shifted her head and looked to the side. Noelle willed her feet to move and take her away from him. It was either that or going to him and asking if he was all right. Only catch was, he probably wouldn’t appreciate her concern or help, since that would mean he might be indebted to her or God forbid, require him to acknowledge her existence. So that led to the question, why was she headed mindlessly in his direction?

  She continued toward him. The soft chirping of a meadowlark perched high on a scraggly branch, coupled with the brisk scent of pine needles and the steady lull of the rolling water did nothing to soothe her nerves. Cole kept his gaze focused on the water, his large hands moving back and forth setting off tiny ripples.

  He’s pretending I’m not here.

  She stopped behind him. “Cole?”

  He withdrew his hands from the water and with an eerie slowness, turned to look at her, brows lifted and a definitive what-the-fuck-do-you-want look in his black eyes. Shaken, Noelle retreated a step backwards.

  Did he give that look to every female? The man couldn’t talk but there was absolutely no reason to, not when he could get his point across with those eyes. Imagine how he could make her feel with a heated gaze to show he viewed her as a woman, the way the other cowboys did.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked, instantly regretting the censor in her tone.

  The anger on his face was all too apparent as he tied a bandanna around his palm. Wiping his uninjured hand on the side of his jeans, he rose to his feet.

  Noelle felt like kicking herself. She’d blown it again. Did she want him to dislike her? Because never in her life had she tried so hard to be cruel to someone before…well except herself.

  She bit the inside of her cheek. She should have straight out asked what happened to his hand. At least then she wouldn’t have to watch him walk away in anger.

  He made it halfway past the blanket she’d spread out on the grass before coming to a sudden standstill. Her gaze followed his downward, landing on the quilt. Oh God. The book. It had fallen out of her bag and was laying face up so he could read every single humiliating incriminating word of the title. American Sign Language: For Beginners.

  How would she explain it? One way was to not cower in front of him and act as if she had committed a heinous crime. It was a free country and he didn’t control her reading material, even if he was the sole cause of her buying the book.

  As if in slow motion, Noelle watched with bated breath as he picked up the book, grasping it between his fingers. He held it out to her. She wasn’t dumb enough to try and take it. Cole wanted to know why she had such a book in her possession.

  Too bad.

  She wasn’t going to stick around and answer him. Noelle hurried past him and snatched up her handbag. He could keep the damn book if he wanted. It wasn’t like there’d be much use for the few signs she had learned anyway.

  “I don’t owe you any explanations.”

  His jaw clenched. “Why?” He pushed the book toward her, eyes maddened with fury. “What are you up to?” he signed rapidly.

  Noelle looked down at his hands. “If I were you, I’d have better things to worry about than what I’m doing.”

  He threw the book on the blanket, a sharp thud echoing around them. Noelle blinked in surprise. Fear raced up her spine. Her breath felt trapped somewhere in her throat at his unnerving stare. Damn. She shouldn’t have pushed him. Cole didn’t like her and if he wanted to hurt her out here in the bushes, there wasn’t a thing she could do to defend herself against him. He was too big and powerful; she’d be no match for him at all.

  “Why are you messing with me?”

  Noelle gulped, disturbed by what she saw beneath his stormy eyes. She reached down to pick up the book, then pushed it into her bag.

  “It was a mistake, Cole. Forget it.”

  He shook his head and moved his hands rapidly, way faster than she could understand.

  She should walk away, but how could she? Be
cause of her Cole was offended. In a quieter tone she answered, “I don’t understand you—the signs I mean.”

  His hands fell to his sides. Forehead creased, his hand delved into his pocket for the notepad. He scribbled quickly then pushed the paper into her hand without touching her. Noelle, why are you doing this?

  As if he didn’t know. It was the same reason she saw him at least once per day riding near the border between her parents’ home and the ranch. The reason, he’d spied her watching him from her bedroom window.

  Noelle lifted her shoulder, hoping she looked as haughty as she didn’t feel. “I was curious, that’s all.”

  Curious about what? How it feels to be lacking?

  Noelle blinked at the words on the paper. Cole thought he was lacking? She looked away and crossed to the edge of the water where he’d knelt previously. “I never said that. You always seem to take pleasure in imagining the worst of my intentions. I don’t see why this should be any different.”

  His footsteps mashed on the ground and Noelle felt her heart quiver and heat flooding between her thighs as he came to stand beside her.

  Do you care what I think?

  She ran her fingers over the note she’d just read. “I shouldn’t.” I really shouldn’t.

  He took a deep breath and nodded as if her words explained everything. Long, callused fingers worked quickly on the paper again, leaving her worried as to where the conversation was headed.

  But you do and you don’t like it? Am I right, Noelle?

  Noelle nodded. There was no use lying to him. “We’re very different people. You know that right?”

  She expected the question to upset him because of course he had to know what she was talking about and the difference in their skin color was the least of her concern.