Eyes Like a Wolf

by Evangeline Anderson

  “Richard!” I backed away from him, feeling the icy fist of fear clutch at my throat. “What…what do you want?” I asked in a voice that shook more than I wanted it to.

  “The same thing I've always wanted.” He rose from the bed and came toward me. “You.”

  I backed up until I felt my dresser hit the back of my thighs. Trapped! I felt my pulse skittering in my throat like a small, frightened animal. Would he kill me the same way he'd killed Rat Face in the park? Or would he make it slow and painful?

  Richard frowned at me as I backed away. He took another step toward me, a look of concern on his dark face.

  “Stop!” I held out a hand that trembled so much I had to put it down. “Stay…stay away from me,” I said, forcing the words out past numb lips. Charles…Genevieve…everyone who had warned me about him had been right, but I had been too bullheaded to see it. Now I would die for my stubbornness, I was sure.

  “Rache?” Richard looked at me as though I was crazy. “What's wrong with you? It's only me—Richard.”

  “Only you. Only you?” I laughed, a high hysterical sound that frightened me. I had to get hold of myself! I took a deep breath. “Which Richard are you talking about?” I asked in a calmer tone. “The loving older brother who tracked me down to be with me after all these years? Or the…the animal I just saw rip a man's throat to bloody rags in the park? Which is it, Richard? Which one?”

  His darkly handsome face took on a haggard look. “Both,” he said heavily. “They're both me, Rachel. But I killed that man to save you. Surely you can understand that. Look.” He stripped off his jacket and shirt rapidly, revealing powerful shoulders and the muscular planes of his chest. On his right side, just below the flat copper disk of his nipple was a bloody, puckered hole. A bullet hole, I realized. So the gunshot hadn't missed him after all. And yet, he didn't seem to be in distress from the wound. Didn't seem to have a collapsed lung or internal bleeding. Then again, what did I know about internal bleeding? I was a lawyer, not an MD.

  “You have to understand,” he said again.

  “All I understand is that I saw you turn into…into some kind of monster,” I said. As I spoke, anger overcame my fear, and I stood up straighter, my voice gaining strength. “And that man wouldn't have been trying to kill me in the first place if you hadn't killed that pimp—Chulo Martinez—and pissed off Momo 'the shark' Andretti. They were trying to make an example of me tonight—all because of you.”

  “You don't have to worry about that, about them coming after you anymore. I took care of it. Please, Rachel…” He put out a hand to me, as though to touch my bare shoulder. I pulled away from him.

  “Don't touch me,” I said sharply. “And don't lie to me anymore either. You keep asking me to understand. What do I have to understand, Richard? That you came to town, murdered a pimp, and lied to me about it? That you got me to lie, too? I told Genevieve Marks that there was no way you could've killed Chulo. I got her to release you into my custody. I convinced her to release a monster.”

  “I'm not a monster,” he said, but there was doubt in his voice. Doubt and self-loathing. “At least, I don't have to be anymore. Not if you'll help me.”

  “What do you want me to do?” I spat. “Lie for you some more?”

  “No.” He took another step forward, trapping me between the dresser and his big body. I could feel his heat like fire radiating against my skin, could smell his spicy, masculine fragrance as I did every time I was with him. The scent of the Amon-kai. “No, Rachel,” he said. “Just touch me. Be with me. Love me, and let me love you. That's all I ask—all I've ever wanted.”

  I looked at him and couldn't hide the loathing and fear in my eyes. “Are you crazy? Richard, have you been paying any attention to who I am and what I do the last couple of weeks? I'm a prosecutor—I put people like you away.”

  “People like me don't exist outside of fairy tales and nightmares,” he said, leaning down to look into my eyes. “Except for you, Rachel. We're the only two—the only two that I know of, anyway. Please, can't you see I need you by my side?”

  “I can see you need serious help,” I said. “Now get away from me.”

  “No.” He leaned against the dresser, putting his hands on either side of me to block my escape. “This is what I wanted to avoid. This is what I've been hiding from you, Rachel. My other nature—the dark face of the brethren of the Amon-kai. And had I been successful in seducing you, you never would have had to see it at all.”

  “What the hell does it matter if I let you fuck me or not?” I shouted in his face. “It wouldn't change the fact that you killed a man and lied about it. It wouldn't change the fact that you're a monster.”

  “I've killed many, many men, dear little sister,” he said, his voice a soft, menacing growl. “And with every one I wanted you more. With every one I redoubled my efforts to find you. Because I knew that only by binding you to me could I ever have a hope of stopping the bloody urge that lives beneath my skin.”

  The pale green glow was back in his eyes, making them shine like demonic lamps. I felt like a cold hand had reached inside my chest and squeezed my heart. He was telling me that Chulo and Rat Face weren't the only two people he'd killed. He was telling me that he was a murderer many times over. Possibly a serial killer. Dear God. And I had invited him into my house and let him sleep in my bed. Hell, I'd kissed him and let him touch me in ways no other man had ever touched me. I'd nearly made love to him, despite Charles, despite the fact that we had been raised as siblings, despite my own better judgment. If I died tonight, it would be my own fault. The same as if I had put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger.

  Richard must have seen the look of terror and disgust on my face because he drew away from me and seemed to shrink back to his normal height. He looked tired and worn down suddenly—a man who has struggled against his demons and lost.

  “It's the curse, Rachel, don't you see? The curse of the Amon-kai. Remember what I told you? The sons of Anubis are forced to wear the true face of their father, once a month at the full moon. And they must bathe in blood before they can return to their human forms.”

  “I…I don't understand,” I said, shaking my head. “What are you telling me, Richard? That you're some kind of a…I don't know…some kind of a werewolf? And you feel compelled to kill someone every full moon?”

  “I don't feel compelled—I am compelled,” he said earnestly. “What you saw tonight was nothing. It was voluntary. But once a month when the full moon is in the sky, I become a creature that is neither wolf nor human but partially both—a form which truly is monstrous. And then I'm nothing but a savage, ravening beast. When that happens, there are only two ways to regain my human form.” He looked at me intently. “Either I have to join with my Lana-zeel, something I have yet had the opportunity to do, or…I have to kill someone.”

  “Oh my God.” I actually felt faint. I think I started to fall because the room tilted, and then suddenly I was sitting on the bed, still wearing only my panties, with Richard beside me. His bare muscular arm was around my shoulders, supporting me gently.

  “Are you all right?” he asked earnestly. “Want me to get you a drink of water?”

  I shook my head, then laughed, an ugly, cracked sound, even to my ears. My brother was a serial killer who felt compelled to bathe in blood every full moon, but aside from that, he was such a sweet considerate guy. Who'd have thought? Richard was talking again. I dragged my mind back from the edge of the abyss and made myself listen.

  “Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you, Rachel?” he was saying. “I can't make myself stop—only you can stop me. Only you can break the curse. The Lanor-zur needs his Lana-zeel to stop killing. I need to make love to you, to seal our bond, in order to control the blood lust.”

  “Richard,” I said, feeling like I might be sick. “I'm sorry about the shitty life you had. Mom had no right to take me away from you and refuse to see you ever again. And when Dad died, too, well, I guess your mind
just cracked. You need help. We're going to get you some help.”

  “The only help I need is right here,” he said harshly. He pulled me against him and pressed his mouth against mine in a rough, demanding kiss that bruised my lips and poured fire down my throat. Against my will, I felt my body reacting to him. Oh, God, even knowing all that I knew about him, I still couldn't help the rush of heat that made my nipples into hard little points, that made my sex wet and slippery and ready for him.

  “Stop it!” I gasped, pushing away. I put both hands on the flat, muscular planes of his chest, trying to keep some distance between us. But Richard didn't try to kiss me again. Instead he drew back and pointed to the right side of his chest, just below his nipple.

  “Look, Rachel. Look at what you've done for me, even with that little bit of unwilling passion.”

  I looked and saw that the puckered bullet wound was gone—healed. There was only a faint trace of white scar tissue where the bloody hole had been, and as I watched, it faded away too. Magic.

  “I—I—” I shook my head, at a loss for words. So he wasn't lying—at least about some things. But that didn't change one fact.

  “You're still a killer,” I said, keeping the hard-won distance between us. “Curse or no curse, Richard. And you can't lay that at my door.”

  “I'm not trying to lay anything at your door, Rachel,” he said softly, and the agony and guilt were back in his eyes. “Every drop of blood I've spilled is on my own soul. I'd never ask you to assume blame for any of that. But now that we've found each other, all that can stop.”

  “How, Richard?” I said numbly. “How does it stop? I let you fuck me, and you suddenly stop getting the urge to kill? Is that how it works?”

  “No.” He took me by the shoulders and tried to pull me closer. I resisted him, and he gave up the effort. “No,” he said again. “No, what happens is that when the bond is sealed between us, the curse will be broken. I won't have to change anymore—not if I don't want to. I won't have to kill as long as I have you by my side. Don't you see? It's what I've been telling you all along—we belong together. I love you Rachel. And I need you.”

  “But…” I still couldn't get over one fact. That he'd killed—multiple times. “You killed them,” I said to him. “Killed innocent people. How many? How many died, Richard, because you couldn't find me?”

  “One a month since I reached physical maturity at sixteen,” he said bitterly. “You know how old I am, Rachel. You do the math.” He got up from the bed and started pacing and gesturing as he talked. “At first, when I was young, smaller deaths would do. Dogs, cats, raccoons. Whatever animal that happened to be unlucky enough to cross my path on a full moon night. But once I reached maturity, that didn't work any more. My prey had to be human.”

  “Dear God.” I put a hand to my lips to silence the scream that wanted to come out.

  “That's right,” Richard said harshly. “Why do you think Dad killed himself? Because he didn't want to kill anyone else. But after Mom left him, he didn't have a choice. He was driven to it—forced by the curse. But I…I found a different way. A better way.”

  “What way is that?” I whispered, wrapping my arms around myself to keep from shaking.

  “Evil people.” Richard turned to me, a desperate light shining in his pale green eyes. “I only kill those who hurt others. Pimps, murderers, rapists. I make sure I'm near one of them when I turn, on the night of the full moon. And that's who I kill to break the curse and regain my human form.”

  “Evil people?” I laughed again, that same jagged, crazy-sounding laugh that hurt coming out. “You kill evil people, Richard?”

  “Yes.” He dropped to his knees before me in one fluid motion and took both my hands in his. “I swear on my soul, Rachel, that I have never killed anyone who didn't deserve it. I've never taken an innocent life.”

  “And what if you're wrong?” I asked, pulling my hands away from his. “What if you're mistaken, Richard? Who are you to decide who's guilty and who's innocent? Who are you to decide who ought to die?”

  “You decide,” he said softly. “Every day in court. It's your job.”

  “My job,” I said in an icy voice, “Is to present the facts to a jury and a judge. I do my best to win each case I take, but I never for one instant believe that I should have the power of life or death over another human being. To think otherwise goes beyond hubris, Richard. It's a sickness. A disease.”

  He looked at me, anguish filling the handsome face I had grown to love all over again in the last few weeks. The face of my brother. My lover. A monster. A stranger.

  “It was all I could do, Rachel,” he said, his deep voice breaking over my name. “I couldn't find you. Couldn't claim you. Couldn't break the curse on my own. Please, can't you see how badly I need you?”

  I shook my head. An icy blanket had covered my emotions. A layer of frost had settled on my heart that nothing could thaw. “I'm sorry, Richard,” I told him, feeling each separate syllable fall from my lips like a cube of ice. “But I just can't. Can't be a part of this. Can't do what you're asking me to do. I'm sorry for you, for everything you've been through, but I can't be your salvation. I'm not your savior—I'm just your sister.”

  “And that's what it boils down to, doesn't it?” He was on his feet again, bending over me, the fire back in his eyes. “Not just my bloody history or your stupid fiancé—the one you can't even bear to touch. No, the reason you won't be with me is the simple, stupid fact that my parents were killed and yours adopted me. That I was raised as your brother.”

  “It's not—” I began, but he cut me off.

  “Well, let me tell you, Rachel.” He crouched down and took my hands, his eyes blazing into mine. “Let me tell you, I'm not your brother. But that doesn't mean we aren't blood. We're Amon-kai, the both of us, and whether you like it or not, blood calls to blood. Rachel, please…” His eyes were desperate, demanding. He kissed my hands, my wrists, slow, hot kisses that sent fire down my arms and threatened to melt the ice that had formed over my heart. “I need you—we need each other. Let me take you now. Let me join with you—fill you with my essence and seal our bond. It's the only way to break the curse.”

  I still felt numb. “So if I lay back and spread my legs for you, this can all be over?” I demanded. “If I let you come in me? If that's all there is to it, why didn't you just do it the other night when you practically raped me?”

  Richard's eyes hardened. “I didn't do anything you didn't want, Rachel. Didn't do a damn thing your body wasn't crying out for.”

  “Fine, see it however you want to.” I stared up at him angrily, my hands balled into fists. When it came down to it, Richard was as bad as Charles, always wanting something I didn't feel willing or able to give. Just because my body reacted to his didn't mean I felt right about letting him touch me…letting him take me. But it seemed to be all he cared about, all he wanted from me. And it seemed like this horrible nightmare was never going to stop until I gave him what he wanted. Abruptly, I made a decision.

  Pulling my hands from his, I stalked over to the side of my bed. Very deliberately, I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my panties and slid them down my legs. Then I lay back on the bed naked and spread my legs, baring myself to him completely.

  “What are you doing?” Richard looked at me uncertainly.

  “Giving you what you want. Giving you the only thing you seem to care about,” I told him. I felt like I was dying inside, like his touch on my skin would either make me burst into flame or wither away to nothing at all, but I couldn't stop now.

  “Is that what you really think?” His eyes were anguished now. Anguished and outraged. “That the reason I spent so much time and effort to find you was in order to break the curse? That you don't matter to me except for that?”

  “That's what it seems like.” I was getting cold, lying on the bed naked, but I was damned if I would move. “Isn't this what you've been after from the minute you found me?”

 
; “Goddamnit, I love you, Rachel! I've loved you since we were kids. Remember how we used to lay in bed at night and listen to Mom and Dad talking downstairs? I used to lay there with you wrapped in my arms and think, 'Someday that'll be us. Me and Rache.'”

  “Listen to them fucking is more like it,” I spat, pushing myself up on my elbows. “That's what they were doing. That's the way he kept her for as long as he did. Well, let me tell you, Richard—you can't keep me that way. Just because my body responds to yours doesn't mean it's meant to be, or that it's right, or that we have to seal some kind of weird, ritualistic bond that started growing between us when we were children.”

  “What does it mean then?” he asked softly, coming to stand over me where I lay on the bed.

  “I…I don't know. I just know what you want from me isn't right.” I took a deep breath and lay back down again, trying to relax in the impossibly tense situation. “But I'm willing to give it to you,” I said, forcing the words out. “Once. Tonight. But never again.”

  “What are you offering me, Rachel?” Richard's voice was dangerously soft.

  “What you've been after all along,” I said. “Me.” I looked up at him. “You say you need me to break the curse—that you need to come inside me. Well, fine, Richard, I'll let you.” I gestured to the bulge behind his expensively tailored charcoal gray slacks. “Put it in me,” I said. “Just like you did the other night—but only that far. Put it in me and come—fill me up if you want to. I'm on the pill, so it should be safe. But don't you take my virginity—you can go only so far and no farther. That's my only stipulation.”

  “Listen to you,” he growled, his deep voice thick with anger. “Your only 'stipulation' is that I not take your virginity? Why, because you want to give it to your darling Charles on your wedding night?”

  “As a matter of fact, yes,” I said, trying to sound calm. “Charles has certain…expectations about our first time together. I'd just as soon not disappoint him.” I spread my thighs wider and looked up at him. “Well?”