The sound of the helicopter rotors rang in her waterlogged ears. There was a sudden metallic clank and she knew that her nightmare had come to life. They were going down again. She’d already lost Ryan, he was gone, dead in the crash years ago and she was going to lose her other arm. She stared glassily at the skinned knuckles trapped in the webbing. The helicopter came even nearer to her. She stared into David’s frantic eyes and glanced at his reaching hands, but it was all too late. They were going to hit the rocks any minute. David and the children would die and Geraldine would be forever broken-hearted.
A sob left her throat as she felt herself going under water again. She took a last glance back towards the square jaw and aqua eyes of man she loved, before her own eyes closed and her head dipped below the waves.
Chapter Fourteen
She’d had enough of this rubbish weather. Ellen had warned her, but she hadn’t believed it until now. All night the cold wind had blasted her in the face. It had rained as well, the sound of water rushing through her ears constantly. Now it was thundering. Regular blasts of rumbling reaching through her dreams and assaulting her ears.
She reached out to pull something over her head, anything to shut out the infuriating noise, her hand grasping for her spare pillow, but her fingers only met air. Seconds later the thunder stopped and warmth wafted across her. She turned towards it, glad of her escape from the chilled air.
Something brushed her cheekbone and she heard someone let out an enormous yawn.
“Gemma? Are you awake? Do you want some water?”
Had that been Joe snoring all the time rather than a thunder storm? She felt very sorry for Lucy as she pulled her eyebrows together in confusion. She couldn’t open her eyes even when she tried.
“Joe? Is that you?” The hoarse whisper that rattled around the room didn’t sound like her own voice and she winced as her throat burned. Joe lifted her head slightly and pressed a glass to her lips. She drank gratefully. The fire in her throat diminished and she suddenly sat bolt upright as a horrible thought crossed her mind. “The kids? Oh my God! Are they safe?” She rasped out as she realized that she was still alive and lying in some unfamiliar bed. She struggled as the tightly tucked sheets threatened to pull her back down onto the bed.
Joe grabbed her arm and stopped her moving.
“They’re fine, Gem. Relax. They’re at home with Dave and Geraldine. They’re all fine, as safe as houses.”
She fell back on the pillow in momentary relief at the news, but was soon agitated again.
“Where am I? This doesn’t feel like my bedroom. It certainly doesn’t smell like my bedroom either. I swear that’s disinfectant! Jesus! Why can’t I open my eyes?” She began to struggle again.
Joe dropped her arm.
“You’re fine, don’t panic. I’ll get someone, find a nurse. Hang on, Gem, and don’t move.”
His voice moved away from her and she heard fading footsteps as a door swooshed closed. She lifted her hands to her face. There didn’t appear to be anything covering her eyes and for a heartbeat her whole world dropped to her stomach at the thought of being blind, but then rationality quickly took over. Her eyelids were closed and for some weird reason she couldn’t open them. They felt as though they were sealed together.
With all her other senses on full alert, she heard the door swish open again.
“Joe? What’s happening? I can’t open my eyes.”
She could hear the panic in her voice as she listened to a footstep limping closer towards her. She stiffened as she breathed in a familiar, spicy scent.
“No, you were in the water a long time. You’ve caught an infection in your eyes and I’m afraid they gummed up while you slept. I’m going to bathe them so you can open them. Okay?” There was a long pause as she tried to still her rapidly beating heart. Warm, wet pads suddenly swept over her eyes. She heard dripping water and then felt more gentle swipes. Fluid ran down the side of her face and was immediately dabbed away with a delicate touch. She took a few quiet breaths before she attempted to talk again.
“What are you doing here, Ryan? Why am I here? I have to get back on duty. I can treat an eye infection when I’m back at the centre.” She sounded more annoyed than she felt. If she was honest with herself she felt as though she could barely lift a finger let alone help with any of the guys back at the château.
The wiping stopped for a second and then carried on as Ryan spoke again.
“You nearly drowned, Gemma. If David hadn’t been so strong I would have lost you.” There was a catch in his voice and he gave a small cough as if to clear his throat before he carried on. “By the time he dragged you aboard you had hypothermia and were delirious too. The sea is pretty cold at any time of year on this part of the coast and after the energy you had expended keeping yourself and the kids afloat...well, let’s just say that you’re going to be staying here for at least the next day. It’s okay. I’ll be here with you.”
Gemma flicked his hand away from her face, annoyed at his presumption that he could stay with her.
“I don’t want you here, Ryan. I am not staying here like some invalid and I don’t need your help. I’m leaving right now.” She made to whisk away the covers, but there was a bustle and a young woman with a French accent suddenly spoke.
“Non, absolutely not. You are staying ‘ere until the doctor says you can leave. You are not well enough yet. ‘ave you never ‘eard of secondary drowning?”
Gemma was about to protest when Ryan spoke again, his voice nearly pleading.
“Please, Gem. Calm down. I know that you don’t want me and I promise to leave, but let the nurse do her job and treat your eyes. Stay here until the doctor says that you are well enough. I can’t bear the thought of anything else happening to you.”
Gemma huffed out a breath as she slumped back on the bed. Her whole body ached, but her heart ached even more. The agony in his tone told her that his concern was genuine. She let out a sigh of resignation. The fluid on the pads had begun to un-glue her eyelids and she fought to pull them fully open. Another splash of warm water suddenly pressed against them, but she could feel the difference in the touch.
“Ryan?” She queried quietly, but it was the nurse who answered her question.
“Why were you so angry with ‘im? ‘e’s not moved from your bedside for two days. We only let ‘im stay because ‘e is your fiancé. ‘is friend, the big scarred man who was ‘ere earlier told us your relationship when ‘e brought Monsieur Taylor a blanket and some food. It’s against regulations normally but ‘e was so worried for you.”
Gemma gasped audibly.
“My fiancé! Lying arsewipe! Bloody hell! I’m going to kill the pair of them when I get out of here!” She gulped as her sore throat protested at her shrieks of outrage.
The nurse gave a laugh.
“I did wonder when I couldn’t find a ring but don’t worry so much. ‘e was no problem at all. You need to rest. You ‘ave been in a terrible ordeal. Your boat was swept right into the shipping lanes and ‘it by the main passenger ferry on its way into the ‘arbour. It was lucky that you are so fit. Anyone else would ‘ave died. The ferry company is considering an investigation.”
Gemma fell silent as she considered the nurse’s words. She could recall the huge ship bearing down upon her, but barely remembered being in the water and quickly realized that hypothermia must have set in rapidly. She recalled her weird vision of everyone dying in the helicopter crash, the one that had taken her arm; David, the children, Ryan and herself, but that couldn’t have been recollections of the real disaster. She had survived that crash and miraculously, so had Ryan.
She took some breaths.
“I hardly think it the fault of the ferry company that I was blown off course. Maybe they are going to try and sue me for damaging their ship?”
The nurse laughed again.
“I doubt they would ‘ave even noticed your boat. It was more the fact that they ‘adn’t noticed your ‘elicopter pilot sen
ding them Morse code with his ‘eadlights that had them concerned, I think.”
Gemma frowned as she remembered the flashing lights.
“Ryan sent them Morse code in the middle of rescuing the kids and me while flying in a gale?”
“And ‘e was bellowing over the radio to the coastguard in French too. The story ‘as gone all around the town. ‘e is a great ‘ero.”
“And a liar. He’s not my fiancé and not likely to be at this rate. That must have been Joe’s idea; I don’t think Ryan would have dared to spread that kind of rumour.”
Gemma’s left eye suddenly peeled opened and the right one followed seconds later. She blinked for a moment before the nurse quickly popped some drops under her eyelids. Gemma’s vision blurred for a few seconds and then cleared again. Her eyes felt itchy and the lids scratched as she blinked. The nurse stood back.
“I ‘ave to tell the doctor on duty that you are awake. Try not to go back to sleep until I ‘ave found ‘im. Your eyelids may stick back together if you do. You can bathe them in this solution.” She indicated a small bowl on the unit at Gemma’s side. There was a stack of cotton pads beside it and a disposal bag hanging from the cupboard door. “One wipe only across your eye with the pad or you will spread the infection. I’ll give you some more drops in a couple of ‘ours. It will clear up fairly soon.” The nurse left the room.
Gemma dipped two of the cotton pads in the fluid and rested them over her tender eyes to keep them moist while she closed them. Besides the fact that her arm felt as heavy as lead and twice as sore, she didn’t think that she could bear to wipe them again. It felt as though all her eyelashes had been plucked out in the ten minutes it took to un-glue them.
As she lay there waiting for the doctor her mind went back to the night of the storm. It was still very confusing. Joe had already confirmed that all the children were fine, but she would have rather seen them with her own eyes, just to make sure. She would have preferred that the news had come directly from David rather than Joe. She still felt terrible about the kids being on the boat in the first place. She should have checked the box before she left the jetty; not that she could have expected Robbie to dream up a plan so fantastic as building his own house and teaching his sister and brother himself. Her heart went out to the little lad. He was so desperate to stay with his family and from what she had witnessed of David’s frantic hauling, it looked as though he might just get his wish.
She wondered if David had been furious with the boy or so relieved he had forgiven him everything. She hoped it was the later. She wished that she had been there to witness their reunion, but she couldn’t remember a thing about David hauling her into the helicopter. The last thing she could recall was feeling so tired that she couldn’t be bothered to even try to keep her head above the water. Her mind drifted over the images of David lifting the box, his arms straining in his t-shirt, his muscles bunching furiously as he hauled them upwards. His strength must be truly phenomenal to have lifted a dead weight like her from the water and Ryan must have been flying like an ace to have kept them steady in that gale.
Her heart gave a little lurch. Of course he had flown well. He’d been flying in dangerous situations for years. He’d probably been in the air more than he’d been on the ground. A deep ache settled in her chest. Guilt swept over her. She had as good as accused him of killing all the men on that awful day, but he hadn’t. It was clear to her now that the whole thing was an ambush. She hadn’t listened to Ryan’s side of the argument and she hadn’t rationalized her thoughts after seeing the damning email. She’d taken everything that the investigators had revealed as gospel, but that didn’t mean it was true. She only had to remember what had happened to Paul to know that the services liked to play some cards very close to their chests.
Patrick’s reaction to the man unnerved her too. He’d recognized Ryan immediately. Patrick never made mistakes like that. He had been in some kind of Special Services team alongside the computer expert, Alex. Gemma wasn’t even sure which department they had both worked for. Everything about Patrick and his team was a little secretive, but if he had invited Ryan to stay at the hotel, he must trust the pilot.
She took the now warm pads from her eyes, dropped them in the bin bag and settled a fresh set over them. A trickle of cool water ran away from her eye, down her skin and straight into her ear. She lifted her head and shook it while poking about in her ear with another cotton pad. When she thought that she had soaked up all the water her head felt clearer and suddenly everything became blindingly obvious to her.
If Ryan was in one of Patrick’s teams he would have been sworn to secrecy in exactly the same way Patrick was. He’d probably had no choice but to change his identity. He was telling the truth when he had said that he hadn’t been told anyone survived the crash. The services had tidied everything up very nicely. According to them, there were no witnesses or survivors, no one to tell what had really happened that day.
But Gemma had been there and she knew.
In her semi conscious state while in the water some things about the crash might have been confusing, but that strange little ping just before they went down wasn’t. It had been in her imagination while in the waters around Brittany, but it triggered something in her memory of the day of the helicopter crash.
Something had hit them. Something had hit the rear rotor sending them into a tight spin. Ryan had managed to pull the damaged craft out of it and had landed them. It was hardly his fault that they had landed between the two massive rocks. He’d had no choice. If the tail of the plane hadn’t already been damaged by the missile it might have held until they could all get out of the cabin. It was only the rotor coming in at the door that had killed them all.
“Shit!” She couldn’t hold the expletive back. She’d driven away a man who had risked his own life for her. She hadn’t given him one chance to explain or to tell her what happened all those years ago; why he’d changed his name and hidden his identity.
When she first saw the email about him she’d gone off like a bomb, scattering debris around her as she always did, but this time the pieces were going to be harder to put back together. For one thing, she was trapped in this blasted hospital bed until the doctor could be persuaded to let her out.
She lay still and calmed her temper. Ranting and raving to the French doctor wasn’t going to get her out of the place any faster. If anything he was probably more likely to keep her in. She waited anxiously until her door swung open and a white coated gentleman stepped inside.
Ryan stood outside the hospital doors and paced unevenly. He looked up at the clear blue sky and cursed under his breath at the injustice of it all. He’d given his country everything. His youth, his courage, his loyalty and now it had been thrown back in his face. Worst of all was not being able to explain anything to the woman he loved. She wasn’t going to trust him and he couldn’t tell her the truth. He wanted to tear his own hair out in frustration.
He stopped as Joe suddenly appeared in front of him with a cardboard cup from the drinks machine.
“It’ll taste like crap, but it’s wet and warm. That’s about the most positive thing you can say about the tea in France. I ask James to send me over boxes of the decent stuff from England.” He handed Ryan the cup.
Ryan raised an eyebrow.
“Gemma and I had some great tea in one of the cafés in town. It’s a pity their drinks machines are as bad as ours back home.” He took a gulp of the greyish brew and winced at the flavour. “Gawd! I’m pretty sure that’s made with sea water!”
Joe laughed and took a gulp from his own cup. He swallowed quickly and gave a shudder.
“Vile! They should put a warning on the machine. Only drinkable if dying from thirst and then take all other options before buying!” He tipped the rest of the hot liquid into and unfortunate looking plant pot holder. The plant appeared to be most unhappy in its situation, probably due to the forced consumption of exceptionally bad beverages.
Ryan took
pity on it and moved down the pathway a few paces before he ditched his cup of tea in what appeared to be a tub of dying gorse. He’d never seen a dead gorse bush before and for a moment he stared at it in fascination until he noticed several dried teabags lying on the earth in the tub. He wondered about the effects of the tea on ones stomach before he eventually turned back to Joe who stood watching back at him carefully.
“So am I wasting my time waiting?” Ryan demanded quickly as scuffed the toe of his cast on the granite paving slabs.
Joe looked down at his watch then let out a long puff of air before he spoke.
“I’ve known Gem forever. She can be a stubborn cow at times, but she never once let me or anyone else I know down. She has a bit of a temper on her when things don’t go her way, but a woman has to work twice as hard as a man just to stand still in the services. They don’t get any preferential treatment and we guys don’t go easy on them. Makes them a bit temperamental on occasions. You know all that though. You must have had women pilots.” He waited for Ryan to acknowledge the fact before he carried on. “I’ve never met another woman quite like Gemma. Hard as nails, twice as loyal and mostly very fair given enough time to think things over...” He paused before looking back at the hospital doors. “How long do you think that doctor was going to be?”
Ryan shrugged as he mulled over Joe’s words.
“The nurse came in and took over just as Gemma told me to get out. I didn’t listen much after that. It was obvious that she didn’t want me there.”
Joe snorted loudly. He flung his arm over Ryan’s shoulder and began walking back along the path with him.
“Nah! That was just Gemma flirting with you.” He laughed at Ryan’s surprised expression. “Give her some time. She just woke up and hadn’t had any coffee. Have to make allowances for two days worth of caffeine deprivation. It’s a pity that you went to the loo at that precise moment. I’m pretty sure that I wasn’t the one she wanted to wake up to.”
Scarred Survival (Scarred Series Book 5) Page 24