The two gates into the two different sections were right next to each other, and Fiyero was standing at the gate to the small dog park, whining and punching the chain-link. He seemed to have lost even more weight. There was a noticeable difference between him and Elfie. The wounds looked a little better, but everything else spoke to decline. And it had only been a week.
More than ever he was convinced that those sores were symptoms of a deeper issue.
T’s head was up, watching Fiyero and his eyebrows were lowered disapprovingly.
“Easy, friend,” Cason said to T. "Hey, Fiyero. So happy to see you, bud.” If Cason wasn't on the job with T right now he would go over and give Fiyero some love. Just seeing his old friend again made him feel a deeper reconnection than he’d ever experienced at his high school reunions.
Elfie came up to the fence, as if making sure Fiyero was safe and he wasn’t bothering anyone. After Cason said hello, she went on with her inspection of the area outside the gates.
“The shorter, stockier one is his mom,” said Cason. “Talk about a helicopter mom. Fiyero can’t so much as sneeze without her hovering over him.” For the first time, Cason wondered about the stress that Fiyero’s health issues would cause a caring mother. He hadn’t thought about how hard it would be for her to watch him suffer so much.
“What kind of doggie magic did you work with Fiyero?” asked Haley.
That was the part that hurt—not being given the chance to help the big guy. “None,” said Cason. “They fired me two days in.”
Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to admit, since Cason desperately wanted to keep training T, but he’d been lied to enough he didn’t like to lie to other people. He looked down at T who was eyeballing Elfie.
C’mon, my man. Progress. Cason didn’t know if he could take two failures with two dogs he cared so much about.
16
Zandra took her time walking up to the dog park gate. The dogs were already there, anxious to get in and saying hi to Cason. If she'd known he'd be there she would've come at a different time. But she couldn't sleep and she couldn't hang out at the house anymore.
It had been four days since Emmett had so anti-climactically walked away from her. There had been a little bit of communication back and forth between them, but nothing firm from Emmett either toward coming back or toward ending everything. As far as Zandra was concerned her marriage was far from over. She had tons of fight left in her, even if it didn't look like it from the outside.
Cason was sitting very close to an attractive woman wearing tight winter clothes. A huge dog was lying at Cason's feet, a Rottweiler by the looks of it. Yet Cason was paying far more attention to Fiyero than to anything else. Fiyero was trying to stick his nose through the small diamonds of the chain-link, and having no success. While Cason didn't get up, he was talking to Fiyero like they were old friends. It sounded to Zandra like a conversation from a grocery store between close friends who hadn't seen each other for years. For some reason they were on the small dog side of the dog park even though there was no way that beautiful Rottie was under 30 pounds. Probably not even 130.
The dog couldn’t be a doggie client, or trainee or whatever. Cason was ignoring him. Maybe he was on a date with this gorgeous woman, even though it was a little early in the morning, and the woman had a wedding ring on. He had flat out said that he’d been dumped by a fiancée and he hadn’t mentioned a new wife.
So where in the world did the pang of jealousy come from?
Hm. Turned out Zandra had been right to keep her distance. Maybe it was the gentle whisper again that had watched out for her in a time that she didn’t know was going to be so hard. These two were definitely more than trainer and client.
“How’s Avvie doing with Fiyero?” asked Cason. There was concern in his voice, but no hope. Zandra could identify with that.
“The licking is down, wounds are healing a bit. But overall, he’s not doing any better.”
Cason tented his fingers and put them to his lips. Zandra had never seen a doctor so concerned about a human patient, much less a dog coach. But it wasn’t his place to worry about it anymore.
“I’m Zandra,” she said to the lovely blonde.
“Haley. Nice to meet you.” She was sitting very close to him on the bench and Haley leaned even closer, territorially. Not in a rude or threatening way, but with pride, like a cat showing off a mouse she’d caught. Cason didn’t budge, not away from her, not toward her, and he still didn’t even seem to notice the Rottie at his feet.
No threat here, thought Zandra. “Your hair is so amazing! Mine’s never looked that good this early in the morning.” She wanted to compliment her on her perfectly proportioned waist and chest, but that was going too far. Hey, you’re just my husband’s type. I mean, I haven’t seen you naked, but I’ve seen more of the other woman than I care to.
“Thanks.” Haley grinned through Botox enhanced lips. Perfectly sculpted Botox lips. The archetypical modern enhanced woman wasn’t the type she expected Cason to go for, but neither did the married type. Her judgment was obviously way off recently because she didn’t expect Emmett to go for the single type.
Zandra went about getting her pups escorted into the big dog enclosure. The group in the small dog area continued snuggling in silence. The Rottie couldn’t be said to be snuggling in. Cason and hot Haley were completely indifferent to the big guy. As if the dog had cooties or had been rolling in poop.
None of my business.
“How’s Emmett?” asked Cason.
Zandra heard herself sigh. She didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t know how to not talk about it.
Elfie came up and nuzzled her nose against Zandra’s thigh.
“Thank you, girl,” whispered Zandra, bending down to pet her more vigorously than she needed to. A rogue tear ran from her eye and landed on Elfie’s nose. “Always watching out for everyone.”
Fiyero plopped down nearby, apparently done with the park even though it had only been two minutes. Zandra released Elfie, who went over and stood in between her son and the unsocial Rottweiler.
Instead of running around the half acre enclosed area, Fiyero was tilting his head back and forth trying to figure out T. Every once in a while he’d chuff, but the big Rottweiler was as interested in Fiyero as Cason was in the Rottie. The early, sunless morning with haze hanging in the air only added to the weird feel of the whole scene. Maybe Zandra should just head home, or find a different park. Honestly, she didn’t want to be around Little Miss Perfect either.
Stop being so judgy of the whole world, Zandra told herself. Stop fighting the world and get in the flow with it.
There were a couple of things she was wondering. “Hey, Cason, was the story about your fiancée true?”
“Yeah,” said Cason as casually as ever. His face took on a questioning look as if he was wondering why she would accuse him of making it up.
Haley the supermodel slid even closer to him and looked at him with an eyebrow raised.
“Oh, sorry,” said Zandra. “I thought it might be something you told clients to, I don’t know, endear them to you.”
“I wish it wasn’t true,” said Cason, smiling a small winning smile.
Shoot. Zandra’s excuse for asking had been a lie and Pastor Jack’s words from her meeting with him yesterday came to mind. Keep living a higher law. After taking a surreptitious deep breath for courage, she said, “Actually that’s not true. I have trust issues with men lately, I guess.”
“Same,” said Cason. “But women.”
Was that a momentary sideways glance at Haley? It didn’t matter. “What about the medical condition about not getting jokes?” After accusing him of lying about his horrible experience with his fiancée, she was reluctant to ask, but she couldn’t help herself.
The tiniest of smirks appeared on Cason’s lips.
She knew it. “You did that to get him to stop telling a tasteless joke!” Wow. What an ingenious way to handle the situation wit
hout offending anyone.
“Have you heard that one he tells about the—no, never mind.” Cason shook his head. “I can’t even give the set up. Imagine how the punch line would have burned my ears?”
“I still can’t tell for sure if you’re serious,” said Zandra.
“I might have been serious,” said Cason. “Try me. Tell me a joke.”
Zandra was feeling entirely too relieved talking to him. It made her want to cry, just like everything else lately. Haley didn’t seem to be enjoying their banter either.
“I would, but we gotta get going.” Was that a lie too? No, she really did need to go if she wanted to follow Pastor Jack’s advice. Let Emmett do what he had to do, Zandra would stick to a higher standard.
17
“The Lord says, ‘I know the plans I have for you.’” Pastor Jack’s rich Southern accent made the words so much more believable, but it still wasn’t enough to overcome the walls of doubt Zandra had built up.
He went on. “The Bible also says the Lord has done great things for us.”
Zandra couldn’t argue with that. She had a great life. Up until ten days ago when everything she really cared about came crashing down.
“Maybe the Lord realized He’s given me too much,” said Zandra. “I don’t deserve such a perfect life, so He took some away.”
“Like he did with Job?”
“But Job did deserve what he had,” objected Zandra. “He was a good man.”
“And in the end he was blessed with twice what he had in the beginning.”
They were so lucky to have Pastor Jack. So distinguished with his white hair and beard against his dark skin. And so full of wisdom.
It had been two days since she’d heard from Emmett. She’d sent a couple texts, but no response. In one bad moment she pulled up the tracking app, dying to see where he was, but her icon was alone on the screen, alone in the digital world. He’d unlinked from her on the app.
“I can do all things through Christ,” said Zandra. I believe that. “So how do I reconcile that with saving my marriage? It’s not just a thing, it’s a big thing.”
Pastor Jack sat back in his chair. He had a happy, always half smiling manner that always set people at ease. “It’s not about other people. It’s about you. The Lord has His plan for Emmett.” He rubbed his short beard. “It doesn’t seem fair that Emmett should be able to hurt you so, but it also wouldn’t be fair if your faith could force him to do what you want instead of what he wants. Lord knows I’ve been praying for him, but we each have to make our own choices.”
That made logical sense, but Zandra still hurt.
“So what are you advising? Dump his things on the driveway and burn them? Just keep waiting until he comes strutting back? Because I know that man doesn’t know how to crawl.”
“Oh, Zandra.” His drawl made it almost sound like he was using her full name, Alexandra. “That’s not my job. I can listen. I can talk to you and Emmett if he’ll come.”
“I’d rather just have you tell me what I should do?”
Pastor Jack leaned way forward onto his desk. “Let me tell you what I do know. The Lord loves you. You can do all things. But, you’re never gonna be able to make someone else do all things. The Lord loves you, girl. Maybe that’ll be enough for now.” He spread his hands. “Even if the time comes that you have to say goodbye to Emmett, He still loves you.”
“Okay, thanks,” said Zandra, standing and offering a hand to shake. She really did appreciate everything he’d done for her, but she wasn’t ready to hear that yet.
Hopefully she never would be.
As Zandra pulled out of the church parking lot she gave herself a pep talk.
“Fight the good fight, girl. This will be nothing more than a bad memory soon.” Then before she could lose her courage she added, “Hey Siri, call Emmett.”
It was the first time she had attempted to call him, and she didn’t have a lot of faith that he would answer after he’d ignored her texts.
The second ring cut off halfway through and Emmett said, “Hey.”
Just hearing his voice gave her so much hope as all the good memories they’d had together rushed back. The Lord truly had done great things in her life. And she knew He had great things in store.
“Hey, you,” she answered. “You coming home tonight? I promise not to cut off any vital body parts while you sleep.”
“That’s … tempting.”
“Is it?” Zandra couldn’t tell if they were bantering or negotiating. She heard him take a deep breath.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Zandra, but I just don’t see it happening.”
“Two weeks ago things were almost perfect, Emmett.” That was an exaggeration, but the optimist in Zandra forced her to not take it back. “I couldn’t have asked for anything more. Let’s just rewind that far.” I’m not going to let you walk away so easily from what we had.
For a long while there was silence on the line. Zandra started to wonder if the call had dropped when Emmett said, “How’s Fiyero? Is the new coach chick working out?”
At least we’re talking. That’s a start. “She’s great, and Fiyero loves her. All of the wounds are healing slowly, but he just still seems more lethargic every day.”
“So he’s not still licking like crazy?”
“Hardly at all,” said Zandra. “Neither is Elfie, but …” There was so much more, so many little things that added up to a dog who was suffering, but Zandra wasn’t sure how much Emmett deserved to know, at least until he made a gesture of some sort that showed he really cared about his little family. “Come home and see. He could use you being around right now.”
“You’re gonna blackmail me with dog visitation?”
“No, you’re welcome to come any time, no requirements. Besides, that would be extortion. Blackmail would be if I threatened to tell your mom what a donkey you’re being to try to make you come home.”
“Her little angel, Zandra? She wouldn’t believe you for a second.”
Zandra loved her mother-in-law but when it came to Emmett, the woman saw only perfection.
“You’re just calling us quits, Emmett? Were things that bad?”
“Not at all. We had a great run together but things have changed. I’ve changed.”
“So you’re throwing me away for a better model? That’s it? I was just the practice run?”
Emmett blew out a long breath and she could picture him rubbing his forehead. “Fine. If you really want to do this, we can. The term is starter wife, and if you want honesty, I’m lucky enough to be one of the guys who outgrows his first because believe me, every man out there wishes he could upgrade at some point in his life.”
Starter wife! It was a good thing they were miles apart because she wasn’t sure she could guarantee his personal safety. For a tactful way of saying it, that really hurt. Zandra pulled over and blinked the tears out of her eyes.
“Are you there, Zandra?”
The tears continued to flow into her eyes faster than she could blink them away and she had to wipe them. She knew her voice wouldn’t work if she tried.
Starter wife. Was it really possible to wrap everything they’d shared into one despicable phrase?
“I can hear the highway, Zandra. I know you’re still there.”
Zandra swallowed and took a slow, quiet breath.
“This is a waste of time,” said Emmett. “I’ll call you in a few days.”
“I refuse to walk away, Emmett. Come home. Come talk to me.” That was all Zandra could manage. She hit the end button on her phone before breaking down into audible blubbering.
18
Why did everything in her life have to fall apart at the same time? That really didn’t seem fair. Zandra still had her faith—if you could call her fractured hopes faith—and her health.
And she still had her dogs, which would hopefully be there for her for a long, long time. She’d done all she could do on the Emmett battleground for now. Time to turn her
efforts to Fiyero and fighting for him.
She told her phone to dial Avvie, who picked up almost immediately.
“Hello?”
“Hi, it’s Zandra. I know we don’t have an appointment today, but are you free? Call me crazy but I’ve got this feeling that we need to fight for our big buddy.”
“Yeah, I can squeeze you in in about an hour.”
“Thanks. I’ll meet you at my house.” That would give her time to patrol for land mines.
“Okay, see ya.”
Zandra hung up, still feeling powerless. Talking about Fiyero with Emmett had made her realize the downhill slope he seemed to be on. They’d taken Fiyero to see the Canis Amare vet, but she hadn’t come up with anything. But what else could Zandra do? Who else could help her? She was a fighter and she would do everything possible, but what other resources did she have?
“Hey Siri, call Cason.”
Unable to find any contacts named Jason.
“Hey Siri, call Cason O’Connor.”
Calling Cason O’Connor mobile.
It might be an awkward phone call, but there was nothing Zandra wouldn’t do if it would help Fiyero. A phone call was better than meeting with him in person, given the circumstances between her and Emmett.
“This is Cason.”
“Hi, it’s Zandra. Curtis. Sorry to bug you, but I wanted to pick your brain. I’ll be happy to pay you for your time.”
“I’m hanging out with Big T, so I’ve got a minute. What’s up?”
“It’s Fiyero. I just don’t think he’s doing great.”
“Yeah,” said Cason, “I noticed at the dog park the other day.”
“Avvie’s on her way over, but I wanted to find out if you’d had any amazing inspiration since, uh, since you were here.” That wasn’t awkward at all.
“Well, I’m glad you called, even though I don’t have much to report. I spent a few hours researching online, and even more time than that thinking about the big dude. I poured through those vet reports before I gave them to Avvie, and even looked over the results of the Canis Amare vet.”
How to Heel a Wounded Heart (Must Love Dogs Book 4) Page 8