“And?” That had been a big lead in. Surely Cason had found the perfect solution.
“It’s more than the lick wounds, Zandra. Sometimes symptoms like that pop up to show us that there are bigger problems going on. Those big breeds just live life so fast. They may seem slow and derpy but as far as their bodies are concerned, it’s all accelerated. He basically has a birthday every month.” After a short pause, he continued. “If he can’t do the things he loves any more, it might be time to consider—”
“Okay, thanks, have a good day!” Zandra ended the call and found herself breathing fast as if she’d just dodged a negativity missile.
Why did everyone keep telling her to just give up? On her marriage and on her dog? Was that what Cason had been saying? Or was she just hypersensitive in her fight-or-flight mode?
Either way, in both cases she was far from giving up.
Zandra pulled into the driveway and hit the garage door opener. Fiyero’s nose didn’t appear under the widening crack. When the door was a couple feet off the ground she saw him just barely getting to his feet at the back of the garage and loping out to meet her.
After she pulled in, parked, and climbed out, the big guy leaned against her as Zandra dug into his ears. “We are going to fix you up, puppy. No matter what it takes.”
Fiyero groaned in pleasure, a purr that Zandra could feel all the way down in her toes. Elfie came over and got a quick scritch from Zandra before doing her inspection of the front yard.
After grabbing Fiyero’s pain meds from inside the empty house and delivering them in a slice of ham, Zandra got the shovel and went to work in the back yard. Fiyero laid down almost immediately and started snoring. Elfie sat up next to him, as if guarding him while he rested. In the past he’d always followed Zandra around and gotten in the way. It was his way of working in the yard and she’d thought it was one of his favorite things to do.
Zandra didn’t want to go inside and have the huge home to herself, so she roused Fiyero and called him to the front yard and went to work digging out weeds.
A while later the sound of tires at the end of the long driveway made Elfie stand up and bark a low warning. Fiyero heard it and forced himself up to a standing position as he tried to run forward at the same time. His big paws caught on the edge of the driveway and he tumbled down to his knees, barking the whole way.
“It’s okay, Fiyero,” said Zandra. “You know her.”
Avvie got out of the car and greeted the two dogs. Even as they licked her face, Avvie bent down to look at Fiyero’s joints. “Looks like neither of you have been licking. Good doggies!”
Zandra didn’t speak up about what she’d noticed regarding Fiyero’s lethargy and the little stumble he’d had. Or what Cason had said.
“How’s everything else going?” asked Avvie. “Let’s go for a little walk.”
Zandra fell in beside Avvie and they led the dogs down the driveway. Elfie went back and forth between both sides of the long driveway, sniffing everything for a few seconds only. Fiyero stayed behind them, walking with his head low.
“What’s up?” asked Avvie after a while.
“I just feel like, well, like things are changing for Fiyero. Like we have to act quick or it’ll be too late.”
Avvie nodded but didn’t say anything. With winter over, the trees lining the driveway were sprouting their buds again, coming back to life. How could Zandra not have hope?
They reached the end of the driveway and stopped. Fiyero looked up at Zandra and sat on his haunches.
“There’s more, isn’t there?” asked Avvie.
“I just want to do everything possible. I want to fight for him.” Do not start crying again.
“Why is Fiyero so…calm right now?”
Part of Zandra wanted to ignore the fact that Fiyero wasn’t interested in the mailbox. “I don’t know. Usually he can’t wait to come out and check his pee-mail.” The last two times out here he hadn’t so much as sniffed.
“Let’s head back,” said Avvie, and the dogs followed as she started up the driveway. “What would you say are his five favorite things to do?”
“Eat,” said Zandra. “Ride in the truck, go for walks, go to the dog park, and…” she didn’t want to say the last one because it would support the point she thought Avvie was trying to make.
“And what?”
Zandra slowed down to let Fiyero catch up and petted his ears. “And work in the yard.”
Avvie nodded. “How many of those things does he enjoy lately?”
“You already know the answers,” complained Zandra. “I asked you to come out here to help me find answers, not point out the problems.”
“I owe it to Fiyero.” She held out her hand and ticked off one finger. “He’s lost 30 pounds. He can’t get in or out of the truck by himself. You told me how lethargic he was at the dog park, he’s barely able to keep up with our slow walk, and I suspect he’s useless at yard work based on that pause I just heard.”
“Are you telling me I’m a bad person if I don’t put him down?”
“Not at all,” said Avvie. “If you were a bad person it wouldn’t be a hard decision.” They reached the yard again and all sat down under the huge oak tree.
“I can’t just do that when he doesn’t have cancer, or kidney failure, or anything else you can name.”
“Zandra, I’m not telling you to euthanize him, I’m just here to talk. And our vet did give it a name.”
“Metabolic syndrome isn’t something that dog’s die of.” They may as well have called it the Sickness Disease.
“Humans have names for a million different human diseases because we spend trillions of dollars on research. There just isn’t that much out there for animals.” Fiyero halfheartedly licked Avvie’s cheek. “If it’s time, if it’s the right thing to do, you’ll know.”
“And in the meantime?”
“We’ll do everything we can for the big lover boy.”
They chatted for a few more minutes, set an appointment for the next day, and Avvie drove off.
Zandra stayed on the grass with Fiyero’s head in her lap. “What do you think, boy?” Fiyero groaned in what Zandra thought was pleasure. She looked up to the sky. “What about you, Lord? Can you do great things for my dog?”
Fiyero blew out his cheeks and lifted his head, looked around, then stood up.
“Now you got somewhere to be?” asked Zandra. “Ready to get your yard work done that you’ve been putting off?”
Fiyero walked, no, shambled into the garage.
Zandra waited, wondering if he’d gone to the backyard for some reason. He reappeared and she saw his silhouette with something big and round hanging from his mouth. His Jolly Ball.
It had totally slipped her mind when Avvie asked about his favorite activities.
“See that, Elfie. He’s playing.”
Slowly, Fiyero walked toward his two mamas. He came to a stop the same distance from each of them but didn’t lie down.
“That’s a good spot,” said Zandra. “But if you need to, go ahead and spin in three circles to double check.”
Fiyero fixed on Zandra, took two steps until he was looming over her, and gently set the ball down in Zandra’s lap. Then he laid down where he was and caught his breath.
The dark red ball sat there on Zandra’s legs—tooth marks, dirt, slobber, and all. What was Fiyero trying to tell her? Maybe he was trying to engage her.
“You want to play?” Zandra grunted as she tossed the Jolly Ball onto the gravel driveway where it bounced unpredictably.
Fiyero saw it, but his only reaction was to close his eyes and put his head down on the grass.
“You let go,” muttered Zandra. “You let go.”
Elfie stood up and came to sit next to Fiyero, sniffing at one of his wounds.
Zandra leaned forward, taking his head in her hands. “Oh Fiyero.” She wasn’t nearly as teared-out as she thought. “Oh, my Fiyero. I can do this. I can let go. If I have to, I c
an.”
Zandra sniffed back the snot and tears and sat up. She pulled out her phone and stared at the blank screen. She had two calls to make. The vet was the second. “Here goes nothing. Hey Siri, call a divorce lawyer.” While Siri thought, Zandra said, “Two calls, Fiyero, then you and me are going to have the best day ever.”
19
Zandra took her driveway slower than normal. It had been the right decision. After it was over she’d been more sure than ever. Yes, there had been tears, but there had also been comfort. Fiyero might be gone, but she felt like he was still close.
Now she didn’t know how she was going to break it to Elfie. For the last three years they had been together every moment. At times, Zandra didn’t know who cared about the furry baby more, his hairy mama or his bald mama. If Elfie was stressed out before, she might just have a mental breakdown when she found out that Fiyero wasn’t coming home.
The next few days would be difficult for both of them.
“We can do this, Elfie,” said Zandra, reaching for the garage door opener.
As expected, Elfie busted out of the garage as soon as there was enough clearance. She ran around the Avalanche and jumped up on the back, trying to look into the bed.
“He’s not there, Elfie,” said Zandra, trying to hide the hitch in her voice. She put down the tailgate and Elfie leapt up to sniff around the bed. After satisfying herself that Fiyero wasn’t there, she hopped down and inspected Zandra.
“It was for the best. You should have seen him. He just let out a deep breath and fell asleep on my lap.”
Elfie listened for a moment, sniffed again, let out a deep breath of her own and laid down on the nearby grass. Zandra expected her to put her chin on the ground with cheeks spread out in a depressed manner, but her head was up and she actually seemed to be smiling.
Zandra couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen Elfie so relaxed. Or relaxed at all. She plopped down next to her and buried her face in Elfie’s jowls.
“Everyone knew it was best except for me.” Again Zandra cried as Elfie panted happily at her side. “It must have been so hard for you to see him suffer.”
Elfie lovingly licked Zandra from chin to forehead.
“Oh, you’re gonna get it!” Zandra dove onto Elfie and rolled her over, well, onto her side because Elfie was too solid to get all the way over.
As quick as when she’d been a puppy, Elfie shot to her feet and yipped at Zandra, bouncing playfully back and forth.
For a long time Zandra and Elfie played then relaxed in the front yard. It was wonderful to pretend even for a little while that life was nothing more than lying in the grass with her dog on a cool, sunny day.
“We’re going to be alright, aren’t we, Elfie? We thought our boys would be with us forever, but apparently there’s a new plan for us.” She leaned in close to whisper. “And I think the better one of the two boys is still close by.”
Zandra stood and Elfie followed her into the garage, where she lay down on her bed without inspecting anything first. Things were going to work out.
But that didn’t change the fact that on the other side of the door was a big old house, empty of everything except memories. Some human companionship would be more than welcome. And there were a few people who should know about Fiyero.
Avvie’s phone went to voicemail. Zandra didn’t leave a message. The news was better delivered in person.
While she was more than done with Emmett, unless he suddenly became sane again and made some overt gestures, he deserved to know about Fiyero. She sent a quick text—Call me. It’s important.
Within seconds the message changed colors indicating it had been read. She waited and waited for Uncle Kracker to sing, “You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed…” but the phone didn’t ring.
“Options. I could call him? I could wait for him to call? I could permanently block his number?”
Zandra was feeling blessed, so she decided to be the bigger person and reach out one more time. The call went to voicemail. Again, no message.
And still there was a big empty house on the other side of the door. None of her friends from church were dog people. Pastor Jack had given her enough of his time lately, and if she was being honest, helped her learn what she needed to about God’s plan.
But there was one more of Fiyero’s friends who deserved to know.
20
“How long we been at this, T?” asked Cason, looking over at his best buddy. “Couple weeks now, hour or two a day?”
Big T didn’t answer. He was lying on his side, back flush with Cason’s leg. If the pattern kept up, he’d be laying in Cason’s lap within a few days. But he still hadn’t given any indication that Cason was allowed to touch him. So they just hung out.
“I like people just fine, but there’s something about having a dog as a best friend that is so satisfying. Which kind of surprises me because you guys are so good at friendship it’s not a challenge to be accepted. By most dogs anyway. With people it always takes time to feel a new person out, and you never know how far a friendship can go. I’ve never been one who enjoys a lot of pressure. Maybe that’s it.”
After two weeks that added up to thousands of dollars billed by Canis Amare to the Hutchinsons, the pressure to succeed with this guy was beginning to mount. Cason was confident he’d have a breakthrough eventually, but whether that was two minutes away, or two years away was impossible to tell.
“I won’t give up on you, T. If the Hutchinsons decide you’re not worth it, I’ll take my chance on a throwaway.”
T lifted his head and looked at Cason. Even when Cason was done talking, he kept staring, longer than he normally did when checking on Cason or making sure he wasn’t going to try something.
Every few seconds, Cason would cast a glance toward the big guy, but for the most part Cason kept up his intense study of the Hutchinson’s yard. T’s scrutiny went on and on, at least a minute if not two.
With a groan, T put his head down and brought both of his right legs up into the air, completely exposing his belly.
That was it! The sign!
Without an ounce of fear and even less hesitation, Cason reached out his hand to scratch T’s belly in the same spot he’d seen Haley scratch two weeks ago. T shifted his weight so that he was fully on his back, spread eagle and grunting continuously.
“Would it ruin our friendship if I told you it sounds like you’re purring?”
If anything T’s moaning got louder.
With his free hand, Cason reached for his phone so he could text Haley to come out and see the good news.
The phone rang. Caller ID said it was Zandra Curtis.
“This is Cason.”
“Hi. It’s Zandra.”
“Hey.”
“I’m sorry to bug you again, it’s such a jerk thing to do after firing you and hanging up on you yesterday …”
She trailed off, but Cason had picked up on the change in her voice. Relief?
“It was time, wasn’t it? You let him go.”
“Yeah.” A pause. “I thought you should know.”
That was so hard. Cason couldn’t imagine having to make that decision, even though it was the right thing to do. He said, “I’m hanging out with that big Rottie from the dog park. Just out in his yard. Do you and Elfie want to head over for few minutes?”
“The woman with perfect hair, perfect lips, perfect everything? Her place?”
“Yeah. I guess.” That’s not how Cason would describe Haley.
Zandra went quiet and Cason wondered if she thought the invite was more than a simple invite. If what he’d heard from Emmett was true, their marriage was over, which Cason had a hard time believing. “Haley’s here, and so is Big T. It’d be good for him to have a little socialization.”
“I don’t want to … interfere or make anyone uncomfortable.”
“She’s married,” said Cason. “It’d actually be more comfortable if you were here.”
“Okay, y
eah, we’ll head over.”
Cason gave her the address and hung up, then he texted Haley to ask her to come outside.
In under a minute, Haley came out of the front door, looking like she’d spent the morning at a salon. Zandra was right about the quote/unquote perfect everything, but that wasn’t perfect for Cason, even if she hadn’t been married. He’d always preferred women who had some realness to them. Was realness even a word? Authenticity? Like a hand-made table as opposed to a factory one. Or a ceramic vase that was ever so slightly asymmetrical. Blemishes gave you something to grab on to, something that set you apart as an individual.
In every way he could think of, Zandra was superior to Miss Perfect Everything.
When Haley saw T on his back and Cason scratching away, she came running down the walkway, heels and all.
“You did it! How?”
T shifted his head to see what the commotion was about, but didn’t roll back over.
“He did it,” said Cason. “He decided it was time.”
Haley’s eyes filled with tears and she dabbed them away over and over without ruining make up. “Do you think he’ll be okay with Baby Jane?”
“I do. In his own time.”
“You are a miracle worker, Cason! I could kiss you.”
“I, uh, why don’t you go get Baby Jane and her favorite book. We’ll start getting them used to each other today.”
“If you think it’s safe,” said Haley with excitement and trepidation.
“I’ll follow you to the porch and I’ll hold her the whole time. If we can get her to act chill until T accepts her, I think she’ll be able to ride him like a pony. She’ll have a harder time with the training than T will, but we’ll take it slow.”
“Okay. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She turned and skittered back up the walkway.
“You’re the hero of the day, T, not me.” A lump caught in Cason’s throat, thinking about his other buddy who had moved on. “Sometimes I wonder how much you guys know about the big plan, because I sure needed a friend after finding out about Fiyero.”
How to Heel a Wounded Heart (Must Love Dogs Book 4) Page 9