Cason got up and T followed him to the porch.
“The baby’s coming. You can have as much time as you need to get used to her. No rush.”
In the few seconds they had together, Cason bent at the knees and looked T in the face, then rubbed both of his ears. Just like that he was in the circle of trust. “That timing couldn’t be a coincidence.” He didn’t keep it up for long. It wasn’t T’s favorite thing and he’d only done it to test the limits of their friendship.
The door opened and Haley came out, carrying Baby Jane and Where the Wild Things Are.
“Ooh, good choice, Baby Jane.” Cason took her into his arms, keeping an eye on Big T.
The big guy looked at the baby and lowered his eyebrows.
“We’re cool,” said Cason, diverting T’s attention back to him. With Baby Jane on his lap, he sat on the porch swing.
T considered for a moment, then laid down at their feet.
Haley’s jaw dropped. Then she dropped and while stroking T’s feet, praised him thoroughly.
“Do you mind if a friend stops by?” asked Cason. “Zandra, from the dog park and one of her pups.”
“Of course. Do you want me to put Big T away?”
“No, it’ll be good for him.”
Haley sat next to him on the swing, giving him at least an inch, which was more than he was used to. She asked, “What’s the deal between you two?”
“Didn’t I mention it? She used to be a client. Until she fired me.”
“Is that what it takes to get you to loosen up?”
“Uh, no.” Cason opened the book to the first page. He hated being in a position where he had to take a moral stand and having to do it without coming off as holier-than-thou.
Haley said, “She was cute, and it was obvious she thought the same about you.”
“She’s got this one little thing that I find particularly unattractive.”
“Her crooked bottom teeth? That’s it right? I didn’t take you for a teeth snob.”
Cason hadn’t noticed anything about Zandra’s teeth. “No. Not her teeth.”
“Okay, let me see. It wasn’t her boy haircut wasn’t it?”
He shook his head, feeling a bit like he was reeling at her rapid fire assessment.
“The bags under her eyes? Because that was probably just because she wasn’t expecting to see anyone that early in the morning. No wait, it was her hips, right?”
Haley was having entirely too much fun with this game.
“None of those. Did you see the finger on her left hand?” asked Cason.
“Was it deformed? Missing?”
“Worse,” said Cason. “It had a ring on it.”
For a second Haley looked confused, then she laughed. “This?” Haley held up her left hand, showing off the giant rock. “My husband and I are open, I should have mentioned that from the start.”
“I should have let you know I’m closed.” He looked down at Max who was sitting on the page as patiently as the baby was sitting on Cason’s lap. “I better get to this book before Baby Jane gets restless.”
Cason and Baby Jane had barely made it home to Max’s warm dinner when Zandra’s blue Avalanche appeared at the end of the long driveway.
“Do you mind holding Baby Jane?” asked Cason. “I’m going to make introductions and keep everything cool.”
Haley took the baby.
“You got her, right? It’s going to take T some time.”
“Yeah. Gotcha.”
Big T was up and halfway down the walkway barking at the newcomers. From the back of the truck, Elfie was watching, interested in the unwelcoming committee.
Zandra rolled down her window. “Is it safe?”
“Yeah. He just really likes his personal space, so give him a five-foot buffer and he won’t be forced to go Cujo on you.”
Zandra hopped out of the truck and opened the tailgate.
“They’re cool,” Cason said to Big T, who huffed then sat and watched.
Elfie seemed like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Years younger. It made perfect sense, she could go back to being a dog instead of the mother of a sick baby. She was glad to be able to turn over the supervision to Zandra and just trot around the property sniffing everything like a dog instead of inspecting it like a Secret Service agent.
Zandra looked better than ever too. The girl-next-door thing that she pulled off so perfectly made it hard not to watch her every move. That unsightly ring was gone from her finger, was that it? But it was obviously way too soon for him to think about any of that.
“You, uh, can go up to the porch,” said Cason. “You remember Haley.”
“Hi,” said Zandra. “Wow, you’re even more gorgeous by sunlight. And I love your house.”
“Thanks,” said Haley, smiling proudly. “Where’s your other dog?”
Zandra clenched her lips momentarily then said, “We had to put him down today. He’d been getting sicker and sicker.”
That hit Haley as hard as when she’d found out about T’s doggie autism and she came forward to offer a one-armed hug. “I’m so sorry.”
Cason had known there was a heart under all that surgical enhancement and permanent makeup.
Zandra accepted the hug, pulling Haley in with both arms.
“Who’s this?” she asked when they separated. “Look at your curls! You are the prettiest little thing anywhere in Michigan, aren’t you?”
Cason’s knowledge of child development stages was lacking, so he didn’t know if Baby Jane reacted to Zandra’s words, or just Zandra herself, but she smiled widely, showing off a handful of teeth and a bubble gum tongue.
“That’s a beautiful Rottweiler,” said Zandra. “What’s Cason working with him on?”
“Turns out he’s autistic,” said Haley with wide eyes. “Just like my little brother. I didn’t even know that was a thing in dogs. We were about to get rid of him, and Cason was our last hope. I can’t imagine how awful I would have felt if I would have found out about his autism after we got rid of him.”
Cason wanted to correct the diagnosis, since dogs didn’t have autism, but Haley had connected deeply with it and it had brought their little family closer.
“Oh,” said Zandra slowly as if figuring out something that she’d been puzzling over.
“Have a seat,” said Haley. “I’m going to take this little one in for her nap.”
“Thanks for letting us come over,” said Zandra. “Some human contact will be good for me today.”
Haley and Baby Jane disappeared into the house as Zandra sat at one end of the porch swing.
“I’m going to sit up there,” Cason said to T, then had a seat on one of the other porch chairs. T came and laid at his feet.
“Sorry,” said Zandra, “but I thought you were just with Big T at the dog park because his mama looks like a supermodel. Going through hell can make you kinda judgy I guess.”
“He didn’t let me touch him until today. Sat at my feet every time I came over but tried to eat my hand if I even thought about touching him.” For a moment they watched Elfie casually wandering the property. “How’d it go this morning?”
“So good,” said Zandra, “if you can say that. Couldn’t have been more peaceful.”
“Good. It had to be a tough decision.”
Zandra smiled wistfully. “Fiyero helped me make it, and I think … no, never mind.” A blush rose on her cheeks.
Cason waited. He didn’t want to push her, but he wanted her to be comfortable saying what she felt.
His waiting paid off. “I think he’s still with me. As soon as he let out his last breath, I felt this comfort exactly like he used to give me by leaning against me when I was having a bad day. Call me crazy but I’ve always thought of animals as angels. I mean, God put them here for a purpose right? To bless our lives? In my book that makes them angels.”
“Amen,” said Cason. “I’m so glad I got to be his friend.”
Silence again prevailed as the
two of them looked out over the surrounding properties. Cason broke it first. “I have no words to help you, and I won’t tell you not to grieve. You have a right to feel however you want. But here’s what I think: dogs live in the moment. Just look at Big T. Two weeks ago he gave me stitches but he doesn’t care about our past. Isn’t worried about the future. He’s right here, right now. Same with Elfie.” Just then Elfie took off after a chipmunk, but was way too big and slow to threaten it. “Fiyero had so many wonderful moments. And he gave wonderful moments to so many.”
“That’s beautiful, actually,” said Zandra. “You could have given the eulogy if we’d had a funeral. Emmett wasn’t—”
She cut off so suddenly it was clear his name had slipped out. She probably didn’t want to talk about it, but Cason didn’t want the awkward feeling to hang in the air.
“I talked to him,” he admitted. “He told me about you guys. You’ve had it piled on lately.”
Zandra bit her lip, and didn’t speak for a moment. “He still doesn’t know about Fiyero. If you see him again, feel free to tell him.” She bit her lip again and looked anywhere but at Cason.
“If I see him, I will. But I doubt it.”
“Why? You guys got along great.”
He’d said too much. Why didn’t he let Emmett drop when Zandra tried to drop him? “I got a couple of Tigers tickets from a client so I called him to see if he wanted to go.”
“I’m surprised he said no.”
How much to say? Emmett hadn’t said no. It was what he’d said about Zandra that made Cason lose respect. “I don’t think we’re compatible after all.”
“That’s hard to believe,” said Zandra. “Two of the easiest going guys I’ve ever seen.”
Cason made a non-committal sound and bent down to pat T’s rump.
“What happened?” asked Zandra. She just couldn’t seem to drop it.
“It just … didn’t work out. Our bromance wasn’t meant to be.”
“You’re lying to me.”
How had Cason gotten into this? The last thing he wanted to do was say something hurtful to Zandra after what she was already going through. “I haven’t said anything untrue.”
“There’s something you’re not telling me. That’s lying by omission.”
Cason pondered it for a moment. “Am I obligated to tell a friend about something a former friend said about her?”
“That’s the reason you guys aren’t friends?” asked Zandra, looking sincerely interested.
He nodded.
Zandra stood. “You’re a heck of a guy, Cason. The kind of guy who would never upgrade his starter wife when he made it big.”
“Oh,” said Cason. “I guess Emmett wasn’t afraid to say to your face what he said behind your back.”
She shook her head. “Thanks for the chat. I, uh, yeah. Better run. Would you mind giving Haley my number? I think she and I might have better odds of a, uh, womance, than you and Emmett had with your bromance.”
Cason laughed. “Sure. You and Elfie have great things in store.”
“I’ve got a good feeling you’re right. See ya.” She called Elfie as she started down the walkway.
Don’t let her go! Cason told himself. “Zandra!” He shot to his feet and just as quick, T was on his feet looking around for the threat. “I’m sorry, Zandra, but I can’t let you just walk away.” His palms were as sweaty as a freshman at prom. How to say what he needed to without crossing any lines? “If … things with you and Emmett don’t get better …” He let out a breath, wondering if he was making a mistake.
Elfie came to stand next to Zandra, who started petting her and continued looking up at Cason with an open expression. The distance between them was a godsend; he didn’t want the temptation to put his arms around her.
“I know I’m being uncouth, but I had to tell you … something, before you left. After you have some time, if you’re interested, I’ll wait.” He wanted to say so much more. Tell her how beautiful she was, and fun to be around, and just plain nice and what garbage it was that Emmett had treated her like that. But as he had learned from T, boundaries weren’t fun, but knowing them made a huge difference.
For a while Zandra studied the yard, the horse arena, the neighbor’s woods. If only the boundaries were up to Cason, he’d close the distance immediately.
“How long would you wait?” She still wasn’t looking at him, talking to him as if over a too-tall wall as he’d done with Big T for two weeks.
Cason wasn’t sure ‘wait’ was the right word. There were no guarantees with anything, and really, they barely knew each other. But it was a lottery with a huge payout and he’d go far for a shot.
“How can I put a number on it?” He didn’t know how to quantify something like that. He opened his mouth and, “I’ll wait,” came out.
Zandra looked at him, a hint of surprise in her smile, a hint of joy. “It’s not fair to ask that,” she said. “I haven’t even told you that, I mean IF I have feelings for you.”
Whether that slip was intentional or not, that was promising.
She said, “Can I have six months? For starters?”
“Is that all?”
Zandra batted her eyes as her smile grew and she looked away. “What? Is that too easy?”
Cason took a step forward. Just one, then caught himself. “In absolutes, waiting a whole day will be agony. But considering the prize, the possible prize, six months is way too easy.”
“Oh, Cason O’Connor, you are trouble. My mind is screaming to run, don’t walk, away from you.”
“Run,” said Cason. “For six months, run.”
With a smile that touched her whole face, Zandra looked up at him, gave a little wave, then took off running, Elfie at her side. Within seconds Elfie was loaded in the truck and they were driving away.
That goodbye could have gone a lot worse. Everything could have gone a lot worse, for everyone involved.
As far as Fiyero was concerned, it was a happy ending. Fiyero was better off not living his moments in suffering and Elfie was better off not having to empathize with her son in pain every day. And Zandra? She’d be just fine in time.
Cason stared down the driveway where she’d disappeared. The visit hadn’t been long, and he wasn’t exactly sure where things would go, but he did know that if that ring hadn’t been on her fourth finger from the start, things might have turned out quite a bit differently.
“Under different circumstances, my friend.” He rested a hand lightly on T’s back. “In a different life. Maybe even in a future life.”
There was so much about life and death, loyalty and betrayal, love and friendship that Cason didn’t understand.
All he could do was look to the sky and say, “I walk with You.”
It was always a leap of faith, but one way or another, Cason would find out where walking with Him would take him.
21
Six months to the day after Fiyero had moved on to his next stage of angelhood, Zandra pulled up at the dog park. She dropped the tailgate for Elfie. There were a few cars there and a handful of dogs between the two different enclosures, but not enough that she had to worry about a leash.
Elfie ran up to the gate and shifted her weight from foot to foot, looking over her shoulder every couple of seconds, then punching the chain link fence. It still amazed Zandra how stress-free Elfie’s life was. She let Zandra worry about being the alpha and just concerned herself with being a dog in the pack. It was a good system.
“Go on in,” said Zandra, opening the first gate. She followed Elfie into the sally port that was supposed to be the area to take off or put on leashes depending on whether you were entering or exiting, and opened the inner gate. Buster and Felix were the only dogs in the large area, and they had enough experience with Elfie to be left unsupervised while Zandra did laps around the park.
“Play nice, girl. Big T will be here in a minute.”
Or half an hour. Haley wasn’t the most punctual friend and even tho
ugh they were a bit of an odd couple, they’d gotten close. All thanks to Cason’s inadvertent matchmaking. And the dogs; they’d played their part. Haley still tried to get Zandra to fix her teeth, grow out her hair, liposuction something, or augment something else. But Zandra had no interest in matching Haley’s perfect everything. Or the money to do so, for that matter.
In return for Haley’s badgering about changing her looks or upgrading the brand name on her purse, Zandra fought back by inviting her to as many church functions as possible. If they were keeping score, Zandra was way ahead. Not only did Haley come to many of the social events and even bring her husband when he wasn’t traveling, she’d come to a handful of Sunday services as well over the last six months.
Six months. No sign of Cason, unfortunately. That day at Haley’s when they’d said goodbye had been fun banter, even if it did come close to crossing lines she’d fought so hard to maintain. She’d been shocked by his interest and by his boldness at putting it out there.
And that was it. She’d expected to see him, or hear from him, or hear about him, but … silence. If nothing else, his words had given her confidence that she still had something a good guy would want. Maybe that was the whole reason God had crossed their paths. Or maybe it was a test to see if she would stay faithful even though her husband-at-the-time didn’t.
Zandra started jogging around the perimeter of the dog park. Sometimes she got three or four laps in before Haley, Baby Jane, and Big T showed up. It was a miracle, but after Cason’s coaching, Baby Jane was Big T’s favorite person in the world. Whenever they were together he followed her around like a giant bodyguard. It interfered when other dogs wanted to greet Baby Jane, but it was so sweet to see. Too bad Big T wouldn’t live to see Baby Jane turn into a dating teenager, because Zandra would pay money to see him intimidate potential suitors.
Again, all thanks to Cason. She probably didn’t cross his mind much anymore, but he sure spent a lot of time in hers. Six months was a long time. Was there any way possible he could still be single?
How to Heel a Wounded Heart (Must Love Dogs Book 4) Page 10