Forever (Destroyed by Love #1)

by Abrianna Denae

  He’s always wearing button ups and jeans to school; occasionally, he’ll wear slacks. I asked him why a few weeks ago, and he said he did it to let people know he’s serious. I understood what he meant. With all the shit he’s had to deal with, he’s had to prove that he’s mature for his age, so he dresses the part.

  “My underwear, of course, they work just as well as a bathing suit.”

  Wyatt smiles when he sees me blush. The thought of Wyatt in nothing but his underwear is so appealing. So many dirty things flicker across my mind and it must show on my face because his smile widens.

  “Fine, give me a minute.” I leave Wyatt downstairs and rush up to my room.

  Pulling out the drawer that holds all my underwear, I search for one of the new bathing suits Gran bought me. Settling on the emerald green one that goes well with my pale-ish skin tone, I put it on.

  Assessing my appearance in the mirror, I have to say I don’t look horrible. I need to tan, badly, though that is virtually impossible. Damn redhead curse.

  I pile my messy, curly hair on top of my head before pulling a black cover-up over my bikini.

  Downstairs I find Wyatt outside sitting at the patio table. His eyes roam over my mostly covered body. I feel a blush creeping from my cheeks to my neck and chest.

  “Well, are we going to do this?” I ask, putting a hand on my hip.

  “Oh, yes we are,” Wyatt replies, giving me a cocky grin. He stands and begins unbuttoning his shirt, slowly.

  The asshole knows I want to check him out, so he’s going to tease me. I lift my eyes to his to discover that he’s already watching me. I should have known, he’s always watching me. And for some reason, that doesn’t bother me as much as it should.

  Crossing my arms over my chest, I can’t help but notice how his eyes go to my boobs. So I shift my arms, pushing my boobs up more.

  Wyatt raises his gaze back to mine and narrows his eyes. He finishes with his shirt and throws it on the table, before stripping off the white undershirt.

  His body is lean, his skin just as pale as mine. His arms are well defined, his shoulders broad. I feel no shame when I check out his chest and stomach.

  I watch as his hands undo his pants. My cheeks burn as removes he removes them.

  The sight of Wyatt standing on my grandparents back patio in nothing but black boxer briefs does something to me. Turning away before I make a fool out of myself I remove my cover-up and throw it on the table.

  Wyatt

  I suck in a sharp breath. She’s beautiful. I already knew that, but the sight of her standing in front of me, her hair pulled messily on top of her head, her cheeks, neck, and chest flushed and in that emerald green bikini, makes it hard to focus.

  When Marley turns and heads for the pool, I allow myself a few minutes to watch her.

  We swim peacefully for a while. I watch her do laps across the pool, her slender arms cutting through the water in almost perfect form.

  I just want to hold her.

  This girl doesn’t know it, but she’s my reason. It may be sudden, it may not work in the end, but it’s real.

  I don’t know what I feel for her. I know she has things she’s not telling me, but I don’t care.

  For the first time, I feel something.

  “What are you doing?” she asks, gliding over to me.

  “Thinking,” I reply. I grab her and pull her closer to me.

  “About?”

  “You.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes, you.”

  “Why me?”

  “Because I always think about you.”

  “Wyatt.”

  “Don’t.” I turn us so her back is against the side of the pool. “Don’t tell me what I can and cannot feel.”

  “I’m not. I just don’t know.”

  “We’re more than friends. I might not know everything; I might not know how I feel. I might not always let you in, but what I do know is that I don’t want to be without you.”

  “I thought we already agreed to that? We’ve spent so much time together already. You have me, Wyatt. For as long as you want me.” Forever.

  I want this girl forever, which makes absolute zero sense, but when I try to imagine my life without her, I can’t.

  “I can’t promise you things will be easy. You know my life is complicated. But I promise you, you will always be important to me.”

  “I shouldn’t be. Ava and Adele should be your number one concern.”

  “Maybe, or maybe it’s time for me to be selfish.”

  “What time do you have to go home?”

  “I don’t. Mary has them. She said she’ll stay with them tonight. Anyways, I think I’m going to ask her to move in.”

  “What?”

  “I think it’s time. I can’t handle it alone anymore. It will make things easier, especially this summer. I want to take on more hours at the club, and I want to spend more time with you.”

  “If that’s what you think is best.” Something flashes in those beautiful green eyes of hers.

  She’s been taking her contacts out now when we hang out. I’m thankful for that. She’s giving me a piece of her, a small piece, but it means something.

  “I want to make sure you’re okay with it. I want you to be comfortable around her, around the girls.”

  “I’ll be fine, promise.”

  I press my body closer to hers, I can’t hide the fact that my dick is hard, Being this close to her, with hardly any clothes on, it’s testing a resolve I didn’t know I had.

  Marley looks up at me, her eyes dark and lustful. Her arms wrap around my neck, her fingers tangle in my hair.

  “I love your hair. I miss my red.”

  “Why did you dye it?”

  “It’s complicated.” She removes her eyes from mine, and I immediately miss them.

  “Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.”

  “I want to, it’s just hard.”

  “It’s okay, Marley.”

  She turns her face back to mine and tries to smile. “No, it’s not. You deserve to know the truth. I just can’t. I want to forget.”

  “I’m not expecting anything.” I don’t know how I can get this girl to trust me. I didn’t know that I wanted her to trust me, but I do. I want that and a whole lot more. I’m not sure what to do with that revelation.

  “You’re a far better person than I am,” she whispers.

  “No, I’m not,” I whisper back. “I just know that sometimes things need to remain unsaid.”

  Marley leans forward and kisses me. Her lips are soft and sweet and perfect. Marley is the second girl I’ve kissed. The first was when I was fourteen. Honestly, it sucked. I had no idea what I was doing, and I didn’t even like her like that.

  With Marley though, I can’t imagine anything being more perfect. The way she seems to fit to me, the way she kisses me like she never wants to let me go. The way she presses closer, making me groan.

  Marley is everything. It’s just that simple. And surprisingly, that thought doesn’t bother me. At all.

  “Marley,” I say, pulling away from her, “I want you.”

  “What?” She pulls back, her green eyes wide.

  “I want you. In more ways than one. For now, though, I’d settle for you just being mine.”

  “You’re saying you want to date me? Like you want to be my boyfriend?” She looks terrified.

  “Yes.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Why not? We like each other, we’re obviously attracted to each other. Everyone already assumes we’re dating. Why not?”

  “Because I’m not supposed to get close to anyone,” she snaps. “I can’t have any complications.”

  “Do you have a boyfriend?” Something flashes in her eyes and I feel like someone’s stabbed me in the heart.

  Of course she has a boyfriend. She’s beautiful, she’s smart, she’s funny. She’s everything I never knew I wanted in a girlfriend. Of course she’s in a relationship.
>
  “No. I don’t. But that doesn’t mean I want another one. I’ve been single for a month. I’ve been enjoying it.”

  “Okay.” I remove my hands from her and back away.

  “You’re leaving because of this? Really?”

  “No, I’m not. I will never leave. But I’m not going to touch you like that. I can’t. It will only confuse me more.”

  “It’s not like I don’t want to be with you, Wyatt. It’s that I can’t. I’ve been hurt. Less than two months ago my world was shattered. Everything I knew and loved was taken away from me. So I’m sorry that I can’t be the person you want me to be.”

  “Don’t. Don’t ever apologize for being yourself. I want you, in any way that I can have you. But I am not going to make this harder. So until you can say that you want me, the same way I want you, then this, whatever this is, has to stop.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?”

  “It means I’ll be here for you. It means I will care for you. But it also means I will be your friend. Just your friend.”

  “If you think that’s what’s best.” She lifts her chin, trying to be braver than she is. I know I’m hurting her. But she won’t show it.

  “I promised that I will never hurt you. And I’m keeping that promise,” I say softly.

  “I know. This doesn’t hurt me. At least not like it probably should. I’m more pissed than anything. But I’m not the type to cry over a guy. You will never hurt me like that. I can guarantee you that.”

  If that was supposed to make me feel like shit, then it did an excellent job. What the fuck happened to her that she has to lock herself down like this?

  I guess I’ll never know now.

  Chapter 13

  Marley

  Maybe I should feel guilty for snagging a pair of my father’s underwear. Maybe I should feel weird knowing my non-boyfriend is wearing my father’s underwear. But I don’t.

  I’m lying on my bed when Wyatt walks out of my bathroom, wearing nothing but his jeans. His bare chest is slightly pink from being out in the sun. His auburn hair is damp and falling into his eyes.

  Wyatt hesitates when he sees me. I took my hair down, so it fans across the pillows in messy curls. I’m wearing a light pink tank top, but I was smart enough to put a bra on. My green running shorts show off my long legs. If I was anyone else, if he was anyone else, if this was any other life, I might try to seduce him.

  But my life is what it is, his life is complicated.

  He’s Wyatt-the untouchable boy who barely makes eye contact with anyone because it’s easier that way.

  And I’m Pagan-pretending to be Marley.

  “I’m sorry,” he says, when he lays next to me.

  “I know.”

  “I’ve just never done this before and I want things I can’t have.”

  “So do I. You don’t have to apologize, Wyatt. Because I want them too, I just can’t.”

  “I understand.”

  “No, you don’t.” Taking a deep breath, I give him some of my truth. “My mother cheated on my father. For a year and a half.

  For a year and a half, she loved someone more than she loved us.

  That’s why they got a divorce. That’s why I hate her.

  But you know what the worst part is? She didn’t just betray my father. Oh no, not her. She also betrayed me.” I pause, I don’t want to relive this, but he needs to understand.

  “She couldn’t go out and find a guy. She had to choose one who was also married. She chose my boyfriend’s father. And my ex knew. That asshole knew the whole time.” Wyatt grabs my hand and squeezes.

  “I dated Jonathan for as long as our parents fucked. When I was fucking him, my mother was fucking his father. How sick is that?

  And my sister? My fucking sister chose them.

  The only reason they came clean was because he left his wife. He left his wife and wanted to start a family with my mother.”

  I stop, my chest rising and falling rapidly, my throat thick with unreleased emotion.

  Wyatt pulls me into his arms. His skin is cool, but his aura is warm.

  “It’s okay to cry. I will never let you fall,” he whispers into my hair.

  I trust him.

  I don’t know how or why, but I trust him. I have to because I let go and cry.

  Wyatt tightens his arms around me, pulling me into his chest.

  I cry into Wyatt’s arms, and I feel right. I don’t think I will ever be good, or great, but I know that I’m okay. And right now that’s all that matters.

  All it took was a broken boy with clear eyes to help me understand that.

  We were both drowning in our pain, but for some reason, we draw it out of each other. That should scare me, but it doesn’t. It’s just right.

  ***

  It’s early morning, but the Café is filled with people. Brenda and I are the only ones who work in the mornings so it’s taking all of our energy. And I still have to work a four-hour shift in the dining room.

  The summer season has kicked in full force, tourists are everywhere, taking advantage of the luxury rental houses that the club has for rent right off the beach.

  “Nash and Kenneth need to get here already. I can’t be here anymore,” Brenda says to me in passing. There’s still a half hour in our shift, but I agree with her. I like my job, but I’m not a fan of working in the Café. It’s half the size of the dining room and is just off the tennis courts so we get a lot of impatient people as they try to make their court times.

  I spot Wyatt at a table as Brenda and I pass through the dining room to the kitchen. He turns and gives me a quick smile. For someone who never used to smile, he’s been doing it a lot lately and I like it. Because I know it’s me that causes him to smile.

  I might care for him a little more than I let on.

  “I saw that,” Brenda says as she switches her shoes.

  “Saw what?”

  “The way you look at him, the way he looks at you. It’s obvious y’all are into each other.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Look, don’t play this game with me. He’s hot, he’s a great person, and y’all look good together. Yes, I might have a crush on him, but he’s too young for me. And it’s not like anyone here would care. Tony and Kenneth have been a thing for forever. So why not?”

  “It’s complicated. We’re just friends.”

  She shrugs. “Whatever. A waste of time if you ask me, either get it on or move on.” If only it were that easy.

  Brenda walks out without a word. I sit at the table in the center of the room. I still have a few minutes before I have to go in the dining room.

  “You’re working with Wyatt in your normal section. I’m training today.” Tony pokes his head in the room just long enough to say this and then he’s gone again. The guy is something else.

  Wyatt and I sharing a section should be interesting. Things have been different between us since Monday.

  Knowing what I do about him, knowing the pain he’s trying so desperately to hide. It makes me want to take that away from him. If only for a little while. If somehow being with me means he doesn’t have to worry about anything else but being with me. Then I want to give him that.

  But I’m lying to him.

  He doesn’t know who I am. Not really. He knows Pagan as Marley, and that’s not who I am at all. I thought I could do this. I thought I could hide from who I really am. But I can’t. And it hurts to try.

  Wyatt wants more than I can give him. I know what it’s like to live in a lie. I already had one relationship based on lies. I can’t do that to Wyatt. I won’t do that to Wyatt. I care too much about him to put him through that kind of pain.

  And therein lays the problem. I care. I wasn’t supposed to. But I do. I care about him so much that it actually hurts, because there is nothing I can do about it.

  I’m not ready to let go, I may never be. As hard as it is to hide my truth, it’s even harder to let go.


  Chapter 14

  Wyatt

  Working with Marley is easy. She understands what I need from her, and I understand what she needs from me. If only our personal relationship were this easy.

  Maybe I should feel guilty for the position I put her in on Monday. But I don’t. I can’t. For the first time, I’m allowing myself to feel. And I’m not going to let her take that away from me. No matter how long it takes.

  I know there are still things she needs to say. I can see it in those sad eyes of hers. She’s trying to be so strong when she doesn’t need to be. Not for me anyway.

  I don’t understand how someone who was supposed to love her can hurt her so badly. And I don’t know if I mean her mother or her ex, maybe both.

  Out of the corner of my eye I see Jenny seat a couple at one of Marley’s tables. I’m refilling the waters at one of my tables when I catch sight of Marley. She freezes, her face pales and I see her entire body tense. Something is very wrong. Turning around I see what she does. Albert is sitting at a table with a red-headed woman. They’re leaning toward each other and based on the look on Albert’s face they’re having a very intense conversation.

  Spinning around I make my way to Marley, who’s still standing still a few feet away. “Take five, I got them,” I whisper in her ear as I stop beside her. I’m not touching her, but my body is close enough to hers that I can feel some of the tension leave.

  I place the water jug back on the stand and take a deep breath. I’m nervous. I know Marley well enough to know that it’s not just her father’s presence that has her shaken up.

  Wiping my hands on my apron, I turn around and allow my best ‘waiter’ smile cross my lips. The busboy is just dropping off three glasses of water when I stop in front of their table.

  “Hello, my name is Wyatt, and I’ll be your server today. Can I get y’all something besides water while we wait for the rest of your party?” I try to keep my tone smooth and easy. I’ve done this a million times before, but when the woman looks up at me, her green eyes so dark and beautiful, I feel sick.

  She has eyes that I can stare at all day, a beautiful shade of green-just like her daughter’s. Quickly I scan the rest of her features-her smooth pale skin, her high rounded cheeks and soft looking mouth that I bet is a pretty pink color under all that lipstick.