Forever (Destroyed by Love #1)

by Abrianna Denae

  The thought of Wyatt in a skirt makes me laugh, which earns me a raised eyebrow from the man currently picking an hors d'oeuvre from my tray.

  Tony made a strict take two and move on policy, but somehow this guy keeps finding me.

  We're not allowed to wear our standard black work shoes, so my feet are killing me from standing around in these unsupported flats all day. My hair is tied back, the curls extra crazy thanks to the dampness in the air.

  Across the room I see Wyatt grimace as some women take flutes of champagne from his tray while laughing loudly.

  He needs to go to the optometrist. He's been complaining about his contacts hurting his eyes after so long and that it's a little harder to see out of his glasses. Since this is a formal function, he has his contacts in.

  I keep telling him to make an appointment; he keeps saying he doesn't have time. Stubborn as hell.

  I am finally able to break away from Mr. Grabby Hands, and I need to go to the kitchen to restock.

  "My head is killing me," Wyatt says, following me into the kitchen.

  "Go to the fucking eye doctor then. Your prescription is more than likely changing. When was the last time you've had a checkup?"

  "Two years, maybe? I don't know. It's been a while, though."

  "You're supposed to go once a year."

  "I'll call Wednesday, I promise."

  "Okay." We both pick up new trays and head back out.

  "Last round before dinner," Margie says. "Try to get rid of your trays fast, so that you can help with set up."

  "You got it," Wyatt answers.

  Wyatt

  There's a break a few minutes before midnight. Most of the guests are too busy counting down to care about where the alcohol or food is.

  Pagan and I stand on the balcony overlooking the ocean. Wrapping my arms around her, I press against her back, trying to use my body heat to keep her warm.

  The closer it gets to midnight, the louder the party behind us gets. "It's beautiful," she says.

  "You're beautiful."

  "I'm serious. The sky, the ocean, even the drunk rich people behind us. It's all beautiful. I never thought I would be here. Nine months ago my life was falling apart. I was afraid, and I didn't know what direction I was going in.

  Now I'm here. Some things aren't perfect, but nothing in life is. I have people who love me.

  There are times when I wasn't sure it was all worth it." I squeeze her tighter to my chest. "There was so much going on, and so much heartbreak. But I'm happy. You make me happy. I don't know if any of it would have been possible without you."

  "I love you, Pagan. I love everything about you, but most of all I love your strength. I think you would have been fine because that's who you are. But hearing this makes me happy. I'm glad I made such a difference in your life."

  "I'm sorry for everything I put you through. For the lies, for the mixed emotions."

  "You were doing what you thought was best. You needed time, and I would do it all again if it meant I had you."

  She turns in my arms right as the fireworks go off down on the beach. They light up Pagan's beautiful face, and her green eyes shine with unshed tears. "Happy New Year," I whisper.

  "Happy New Year, Wyatt," she says before kissing me.

  Our first kiss of Twenty-Thirteen. It's almost magical with the sounds of cheering inside the dining room, the lights from fireworks up above, and the feel of Pagan's soft body beneath my hands. Everything is perfect.

  The past nine months have been a whirlwind, making me question my views on life, my relationship with my family, and, most importantly, my belief in love.

  I wouldn't take any of it back, but I only hope the next nine months and beyond are better than ever.

  So, as I stand under the stars with only minutes left before I have to get back to reality, I kiss my forever.

  Epilogue

  Pagan

  One year later

  I stand on the balcony, in the exact same spot I stood last year. I look out at the vast ocean, trying to remember what I felt, though it feels like more than a year has passed.

  I clutch the jewel of my necklace in my hand. My grip is so tight that it cuts into my palm. I try so hard not to lose my shit. I increase the pressure, letting the pain keep me grounded.

  Strong arms wrap around me. My body relaxes as I lean back and get my bearings. The emotions swirling inside me calm down a bit.

  I can't wait for the clock to strike and for this year to end. It's been a long two years, and I only hope that something gives. I can't keep doing this.

  "It will be okay."

  "Will it?"

  "It will. It will get better. I’ll be here for you, every step of the way. I promise."

  "Thank you."

  "No thanks necessary."

  I squeeze his hands as they rest on my abdomen. The air is cold, but his body heat keeps me warm.

  The noise of the party magnifies as the clock strikes midnight. Fireworks blast, and I close my eyes, remembering better times. Remembering the feeling that washed over me last year, when I was naïve and believed I could have it all.

  "Happy New Year, Pagan," he whispers in my hair.

  "Happy New Year, Terrence," I reply.

  Author's Note

  Dear Reader:

  Shocked by that ending? To be honest, so am I. When I first started out writing Forever, I had a good idea of what I wanted the story to be about. That all changed when Wyatt and Pagan began to take shape.

  The first three chapters are pretty much the same. Unfortunately, I ended up losing my flash drive, so I no longer have the original file. However, I was smart enough to back my work up on Google Docs. It was only three chapters, but it was better than nothing.

  Here's a secret: When I get writer’s block I work on other projects. One day I was messing around, trying to come up with words, so I opened a new document, and a new story took shape. Only these weren't new characters. They were the same ones that were giving me trouble in my other WIP. So I kept writing, unsure of what was going on.

  That's how Never Forget was born. When I realized that it would take more than one book to tell Wyatt and Pagan's full story, I was in shock. It's not what I had planned. Could these characters actually have enough to say to require two books?

  The answer is simply yes. The story of Wyatt and Pagan is not over. In truth, I could have ended it before the Epilogue. They were happy, they were together, and they had beaten their demons. Or had they?

  So much happened in Forever. Some things did not take center stage, but still need to be explored.

  I rewrote the ending five times. At one point, there was going to be this huge cliff-hanger. But it wasn't right.

  In another version, Wyatt's thoughts and actions didn't match up to who he had become. So I scrapped that as well.

  I tried my hardest to see if I could wrap this story up in one book. The short answer is no, I can't.

  Since Forever took such a different path than what I had envisioned, Never Forget is also going to be vastly different than what I first thought. The first few chapters are going to get scrapped. Maybe they'll see the light of day as a bonus, but maybe not.

  I never meant to write a two-part story for Wyatt and Pagan. But as with everything in my life, nothing went as planned.

  Thank you for taking this journey with me. I hope you trust me enough when I say that this is Wyatt and Pagan's happy ending. They might not be together in the Epilogue, but things are not always as they seem.

  I hope you come to understand the importance of those last few scenes as you read Never Forget.

  I hope I can give Wyatt and Pagan the Happily Ever After they deserve, but you just never know. Anything can happen, and personally, I think they would be just fine without it. They've grown throughout this book, and they're strong enough to handle anything.

  Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Never Forget that I'll love you Forever.

  -Abri

&nbs
p; Author’s PSA

  Forever ended in a way no one expected. I plead with you to not spoil it in your reviews.

  I also ask that you refrain from using Pagan’s real name in any reviews and comments. At least until Forever has time to circulate. There’s a reason the blurb uses Marley instead of Pagan.

  Feel free to message me with your frustrations, I love hearing what others think about this book.

  Acknowledgements

  There are so many people I owe my thanks to. Without them this book wouldn’t exist. If I forget anyone, it’s not because I appreciate them any less, it’s just because my memory is terrible.

  Writing is a solitary career, it’s the ideas and the heart of one person, but it takes more than one person to bring a story together. I could go on and on about how grateful and appreciative I am, but that’s boring. I’ll keep this as short and as sweet as possible.

  First to my mother-for always being my number one supporter. Even when you embarrass the crap out of me I still love you. This book has many hidden truths in it, of all people you are the one to pick them out. What we went through together changed us both, it brought us closer, but it also tore us apart. My thoughts and feelings, my world views, they all center around the past I rather forget. But like Pagan I realize now that hiding from yourself is impossible. I hope with this book the both of us on move on to a new chapter in our lives.

  Lorelei Bercot-you are my friend. You are my whore. You are the one I turn to when I need someone. Even though you piss me off I know you always have my back. Love you.

  Deepthica Vasumathi Jagannathan-you are one of my dearest friends. Your loyalty, your love, and your goodness keeps me grounded when I am at my craziest. You my dear are my sanity, it’s that simple. I love you, and one day I will get you to read vampires.

  Bev Goodman-we met online critiquing each other’s work, our friendship blossomed from there. The emails we exchange make my whole day. I love talking to you. I know you have your own stuff going on, I hope everything stays okay. I don't know what I would do without you. Your messages and faith in me helped me keep going. Thank you.

  Tracy Smith-you are one of my closest author friends. I am so glad I had you by my side during this journey. Your friendship means the world to me. You were one of the first people I got close to when I got deeper into the world of writing, I love having you in my corner.

  Claire Willet-you my friend are irreplaceable. Your belief in me and my work means the world to me. I love how you’re always there when I have something to share. And even though you are evil with how you tease me with your own work, I love being able to take this journey with you. We’re both realizing our dreams, and it is a privilege to see them through together.

  Allison Michaels-I don’t know what I can say that will show my appreciation. You’re a good friend, an amazing writer, and I am so lucky to know you. You helped me out so much with this book. I don’t think I could ever express how grateful I am. You understood this story from the beginning. You understood me. Thank you. I can’t wait to see what you do next so that I can promote the crap out of you.

  My nemesis-Z, you drive me crazy but I love you all the same. Thank you for being here with me. I think I'll keep you around, so long as you stop trying to take what is rightfully mine.

  Tessie Afzal-you are my super-duper teaser maker. You are a close friend and your support means the world. Thank you for being here for me. I love you, it’s that simple.

  Elaina Lucia-You are more than my blog partner, you are more than my book sister wife, you are more than my friend. You are the one I turn to when I need someone to listen to my crazy. You put up with me. I don’t know how, but you do. I could never repay you. You are my best friend and I don’t know what I would do without you. I’m so lucky to have you. I love you. #WhereIsWyatt #HeBetterNotBeDead #AHensleyBaby

  To everyone else in book world that has touched my life and my work in some way, even if it was small. I wouldn’t be here without any of you. It’s the beauty I see under all the ugliness that makes me want to do this.

  Thank you for being here to take this journey with me. I am so lucky, I realize that, and I cherish it.

  About the Author

  Abrianna Denae is a twenty-year-old author living in Northern California. An English major, she has always had a passion for writing.

  Deciding to sit down and write one of the many stories that had plagued her mind for years was the easy part—finding the time to do it was a different story.

  Caffeine is her best friend, and sleep is her worst enemy.

  A lover of books that make the reader feel something, she tries to incorporate as much of her real-world views and feelings into her stories as she can.

  Abrianna spends way too much time on Facebook. You can find her here: http://www.facebook.com/abridenae

  You can also email her: authorabridenae@gmail.com