The Hatter is Mad: An Urban Fantasy Novel (The Lillim Callina Chronicles Book 2)

by J. A. Cipriano

  Shivers marched down my back, and my breath caught in my throat. It was worse because I wouldn’t run and leave him behind to die on his own. I would, if it came to it, try to save him, and that would get both of us killed.

  “Who comes to fight Grollshanks, the greatest orcish swordsman of all time?” the big orc asked, turning to look at us. He tossed his sword to the ground. It was an insult, but I wasn’t sure Caleb caught that.

  Caleb closed his eyes. A green glow emanated from him so brightly that it made him hard to look at. He took a defiant step forward, his face creased in concentration. His eyes opened and there were very real flames in them. They flickered down his face and danced across the surface of his skin. It was so hot that even several feet away, it was like putting my face next to a campfire.

  “There was a time when I thought I was strong, when I liked fighting for the sake of fighting. That ended when my first friend died. You tried to take away someone I care about. I will not let that stand, Grollshanks,” Caleb said. He cocked his head to the side, and flame encircled the ground beneath his feet. “I hope you realize what an honor this is for me.”

  Grollshanks regarded Caleb for a long time. He knelt and picked up his sword. “Very well, Dioscuri. If it is death you seek, I shall reward you. It is the only gift I am fit to bestow.”

  “Forgive me, master orc, but it is not I who will die this day,” Caleb said as he rose to his feet.

  “Of that we shall see soon enough.” Was that appreciation in Grollshanks’ voice? They were both stupid. Of this, I was quite certain.

  They charged at one another. I forgot how fast Caleb was. I could barely follow his movements. It was a good thing, too.

  He ducked and weaved and danced around and, for a time, it was obvious that Grollshanks was too slow to hit him. It must have dawned on the big orc, too. That was when the battle changed. I saw it coming and tried to shout a warning but it was too late.

  Grollshanks had lived for thousands of years being basically invincible. Even ancient Japanese samurai did what Grollshanks was doing, and it killed them to do it. You took a death blow to end your opponent.

  The big orc took a step to the left and deliberately impaled himself on Caleb’s blade. Fire licked outward from the wound, blackening the orc’s flesh and sending tendrils of flame spiraling across his body. It didn’t matter though because the orc was invincible. Caleb forgot that. He was so used to people not wanting to be hit by Incinerator, he never thought someone would intentionally allow himself to be impaled by the weapon.

  Caleb’s movement was halted as he got stuck in mid-step and nearly lost his balance as Grollshanks grabbed the hilt of Incinerator. His other hand came down like a club, smashing into Caleb’s surprised face. Caleb toppled backward, the hilt of Incinerator slipping from his grasp. He shook his head, dazed as Grollshanks’ knee flew sideways through the air and caught him on the side of the head. Caleb careened to the side, cart-wheeling hideously across the sand until he came to a stop a few feet away. The sight of him like that made me hurt inside in a way I didn’t know I could. It was like when my mother had crashed to the ground, only this time, I was letting it happen. Why was I doing that? I should be helping him, not standing here watch him get his face bashed in.

  Caleb lay there dazed as the big orc tore Incinerator from his flesh and tossed it to the ground. Very slowly, Caleb crawled to his hands and knees, blood dripping from his mouth as he looked up and smiled. A couple teeth were missing and the left side of his face was turning an ugly shade of purple. Caleb began to laugh.

  “I guess I’m going to have to be a little more serious,” Caleb said. With that, he snapped his fingers and Incinerator flared to life.

  The giant orc was engulfed in a firestorm of flame. It was like he was at the center of a miniature sun. Beneath the orc’s feet the sand turned to glass. The heat of the inferno was so strong, it sucked the oxygen from my lungs, and I was a good twenty feet away.

  “That is more serious?” the voice boomed from the center of the fireball. A blackened form stepped forth from the inferno. As Grollshanks moved, his flesh reformed, like clay being molded back into place. Blackened skin flecked off to reveal the pristine form beneath. “It might have worked if I was not an orc. Orcs do not fear the fire. We are one with destruction.”

  I didn’t know what was going through Caleb’s mind, but I was sure it was something along the lines of this isn’t going according to plan. Because this was his plan. He wanted to burn the big orc to cinders and calmly walk over and pick up the Death’s Edge when it fell to the ground.

  “Black Rain,” Caleb said. He was standing now and though his face churned in waves of throbbing pain, his voice was low and defiant. Above us, dark clouds gathered. A faint rumble announced the steady rainfall of a black viscous liquid, and the dry sand greedily drank up the substance. Oddly enough, the ‘rain’ was focused only on the area in which the battle was being waged. Not one drop fell onto me or the orcs spread out in a circle around us.

  “In the end, we all turn into ashes. Even the invincible eventually die,” Caleb said as he reached out and Incinerator flew into his hand. A small smile creased his lips as he pointed the tip of the blade at the earth beneath Grollshanks’ feet. Their ‘arena’ was filled with so much liquid, it was almost up to the orc’s ankles. “Goodbye, master orc.”

  Incinerator burst into flame and the ground beneath their feet caught on fire. The liquid burst into a horrific inferno. Even the rain, which continued to pour down, caught on fire, burning all within its vicinity. The calm sand turned alive with bright dancing flames.

  Chapter 20

  I don’t quite know how to describe what happened next because it was hot enough to make me shield my face from the blaze. Caleb darted back and forth, his body sheathed in fire as geysers of lava exploded from the earth. The big orc’s body was swathed in burning flames. Still, his body fought to rebuild itself against heat so hot, it continually seared the flesh from his bones.

  Caleb’s sword clanged against Grollshanks’ blade. Grollshanks’ armor was gone now; it had vaporized within seconds. The orc stood naked within the fire, clutching a sword that was melting. He threw down the weapon, and booming laughter filled my ears. He stood, doing nothing as Caleb’s burning blade cleaved into him over and over again.

  Grollshanks struck. His giant fist lashed out to the side just as Caleb’s feet touched the ground and caught him hard on the elbow. There was an unmistakable crack as Caleb’s arm bent awkwardly, and Incinerator slipped from his grasp.

  I couldn’t hear Caleb’s scream over the din of the raging inferno, but I could see the pain that crossed his face. Grollshanks’ other fist came down like a hammer, smashing into Caleb’s other shoulder. It was sort of like someone hit the left half of a tin can with a sledgehammer. The blow crumpled Caleb to the ground. A final kick sent Caleb flying out of the firestorm. He skidded along the smooth earth as the once molten sand shattered into a million scintillating shards of superheated glass.

  Caleb was going to lose, the only question now was, would Grollshanks let him live like he had with me? I’ll admit the thought was a little naive. Here we were, surrounded by a bazillion orcs and Caleb had just gotten beaten to a pulp. The chance of us walking out of here alive was basically nil. Somehow though, I kept hoping Caleb had one last trick up his sleeve. He had to.

  Grollshanks stood there waiting until the flames went out. His body glistened as he strode forward. Disappointment was etched on his piggish face. Was he unhappy it was over so soon?

  Caleb rolled over onto his back. His face was filled with pain, but his eyes were shut in concentration. They opened at once, and he lifted his broken arm into the air. Sweat glinted on his skin. He was going to die. The thought made everything inside me go cold and dark. It made me imagine a world without him and the thought alone hurt so much, I knew it would break me if he died.

  “There’s still one more thing I can do,” Caleb said through teeth
gritted in pain, and my heart nearly wrenched itself out of my chest. As Caleb raised one hand in the air, it dawned on me which spell he was going to cast. The same one that struck him during our fight with the dragon. He was going to cast a spell known simply as Destroy. It needed no other name since it pretty much channeled the truest essence of destruction. It was meant to unmake things. The sad thing was, it wouldn’t work, and in his state, casting that spell just might kill him. No! No, he couldn’t cast a spell that would kill him. I couldn’t let him!

  “Enough.” At first I didn’t realize I had said the word. Both Caleb and Grollshanks turned toward me. “I was being silly before.” I snorted and shook my head. “To think I could let you fight my battles was stupid, Caleb. This is not a fight you can win, and it isn’t because you are not brave or strong or any of that.”

  I knelt down and put my hand on his forehead. “You are much better than me. I see that now. But you cannot win here.”

  “And why is that?” His voice held an edge to it, like a wave about to crash. His eyes were full of pain. How many bones had he broken?

  “It’s my turn to save you. Every single time before, you have come to my rescue,” I said.

  “That’s not true.”

  I smiled. “Of course it is. This time, why don’t you let me save you?” I glanced at the giant orc who was watching us casually. “Just this one time, okay?”

  Caleb’s face hardened, and I turned away from him. I didn’t want to see what he was feeling as it spread across his face. My face emptied of emotion as I stared at Grollshanks and cracked my neck in a gesture I hoped portrayed way more confidence than I felt. Inside I was a shaking leaf, a quivering bowl of Jell-O. I was sure I was about to not only get myself killed, but take Caleb and pretty much all the non-invincible orcs with us.

  “You say you are the greatest orcish swordsman of all time. I believe it. I have slaughtered many orcs and none are like you. But I also believe you can be beaten,” I said.

  Very slowly, I stood and raised the dual blades of Shirajirashii. The twin swords gleamed in the blood red light, and I took a deep breath. “Arise righteous maiden, and lay claim to the heavens and all that lies below them. Consume and annihilate all existence so that it may one day rise again.” As I said the words, Set and Isis began to glow in my hands, one like the moon and the other like the sun. I curled my lips into a small smile.

  “Kuroman’etsu!” I screamed. The power of my spell flung Grollshanks backward across the sand, throwing great gouts of dust into the air until he skidded to a stop. A thick line of blood slid down his lip, and he shook his head.

  “I thought you would go nuclear in that state, Lillim?” Caleb’s voice was so quiet I almost didn’t hear him. “Isn’t that the spell Dirge used when she died?”

  “Dirge may not have been able to control it, but I was pretty sure I could,” I said. It was a simpler explanation than the truth. The truth was that Dirge had been about to die anyway, and until the Blue Prince showed it to me, I didn’t even know about the ability. Was that why the Prince showed me that vision? To get me to fully embrace Shirajirashii’s power? Or was he just a sadistic bastard?

  My body stood out like a white angel. My blades dripped with crimson blood under the angry red moon in this land of endless black sand. The glowing, blackened blades of Shirajirashii wavered in the unsteady light. Grollshanks howled. His face was twisted into a horrific mask of… fear. The orc was actually scared. I took a step forward, and he took a step backward. All around us, the orcs were chanting. I couldn’t make out the words because I did not speak orcish. Their voices rose, until the sound of it was overwhelming. The power of it thrummed in the air, reaching out and sending chills prickling down my flesh.

  Grollshanks looked around in horror. He reached down and picked up the fallen blade, Incinerator. The fear in his eyes turned to hysteria. He said something that I couldn’t hear. He charged. He came at me like a bat out of hell, and yet, there was a hesitation to it. There was a flash as Incinerator met Set’s glowing blade and Isis met flesh and bone.

  Incinerator exploded to life in Grollshanks’ hand, blue-red flames licking up from the blade and along his arms. The big orc dropped the blade like it was a live snake. Caleb had brought the blade to life, but I didn’t think Grollshanks knew that, at least, not yet. I spun, driving the acidic end of my wakazashi into Grollshanks. He screamed and the sound of it was almost enough to make me hesitate. Almost.

  His flesh began to dissolve. Tendrils of white energy wormed outward from the wound as Shirajirashii’s power coursed through his body and left nothing but destruction in its wake.

  “Now when they hear my name, they will know who I am. I will not just be the soft dirge whispered throughout this land. Your kind will look at me and they will say, ‘that is the Dioscuri who defeated Grollshanks, a god among orcs,’” I called.

  There was a flash as my blade cleaved upward through Grollshanks’ body, rending him easily in two. He fell backward in the sand. It didn’t kill him because he was invincible, and he scrabbled backward as thin tendrils of flesh lashed his body back together. Was his healing slower than normal? Good. He deserved it for hurting Caleb. Coming after me was one thing, but hurting Caleb? That couldn’t be allowed to stand.

  I raised the glowing blades of Shirajirashii over my head and took a step toward him. I wouldn’t let him hurt Caleb ever again.

  “I yield!” the giant orc called and his voice resounded across the land. It grew deadly silent as I stood there, Shirajirashii blazing in my hands. I’ll admit it. I thought about killing him anyway. Why? So he wouldn’t ever be able to hurt any of us again, but I knew that if I crossed that line, I wouldn’t be able to come back from it. I knew the orc was a murderer, knew that he deserved it, and even still, I stopped myself. Once you start being able to justify killing people who have surrendered, well… That wasn’t a slippery slope I was comfortable starting down.

  “For that I thank you, Grollshanks, because respect cannot be bought. It can only be earned.” I lowered my blades and took a step forward as the world went all sorts of sideways and I collapsed to the ground.

  Chapter 21

  When I awoke, Caleb was lying next to me in a bed of some sort. An orc busied herself mixing something foul smelling in an earthen jar between us. From her array of herbs and glassware, I guessed she was some kind of healer. Part of me was surprised there were healers here. Then again, most warrior cultures took great pains to safeguard their healers. That she was treating us at all was probably some kind of great honor. Most things don’t usually heal things they plan on killing. Then again, these were orcs. Maybe they just wanted us in tip top shape before they attacked. That would be like them.

  Sunlight streamed through the open windows of the building even though thunderclouds crackled in the distance. I put one arm over my eyes and attempted to block out the glare. I winced. My entire body was pretty sure it had been in a boxing match with Mike Tyson. That wasn’t good. I’d heard about people using so much power even the slightest touch caused pain afterward. Supposedly, it would wear off, but if it didn’t soon I was going to have a hard time going toe to toe with anything more threatening than a butterfly.

  “You are awake. Good.” Grollshanks’ voice hit me like a sledgehammer. It rang in my ears and shook me to my core.

  “Do you have to be so loud?” I shrieked at him and my own voice rattled in my head. I closed my eyes for a second and tried to take a deep breath. Getting all worked up would make my situation worse, not better.

  “When one calls that much power there are always consequences. I can see why it destroyed your predecessor. Even still, you put fear in my heart, Lillim Callina. That has not happened for a long time. That makes it your victory. For that, I am most pleased and most ashamed. I will go back into the world to train until I am your equal,” Grollshanks said as he turned to go. Almost as an afterthought, he added, “The orcs will not harm you. Once you both recover they will assist you
in returning to your world. What you have shown them ought to keep delusions of grandeur from their minds for a long time.”

  “So my world need not fear an orcish horde attacking?” I asked and realized I was really thirsty. My mouth was so dry that it was like the Sahara. I glanced around for something to drink.

  “Not until you are dead, at least. I hope that will not be for a long while. It will take me a long time to train to be at your level, Miss Callina. I hope the Blue Prince knows who he has awoken.” Grollshanks smiled, and it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

  The nurse orc pushed a cup of something into my hand. I sniffed it, and my stomach roiled. It smelled like a cross between dead fish and whiskey. I looked up at her, and she nodded once. Her chocolate brown eyes were strangely comforting, and I took solace in that. Besides, if she wanted to kill me, I’d already be dead.

  “It will ease the pain,” she said in a mothering sort of way and patted me on the head.

  I sighed and glanced at the murky green liquid. There were pinkish bits floating in it. I swallowed once and steeled myself. I took a sip. Flavors I can’t quite describe hit my tongue like a sack of stinging bees. It wasn’t bad per se, but it wasn’t something I’d be jumping up and down to get more of. The heat of it traveled through my body, filling me with a strange sort of warmth from the tips of my toes to the hair on my head.

  It was several minutes before I could speak. I sat up slowly, and the nurse didn’t try to stop me. I wasn’t really hurt or anything, but I had severely drained my power reserves. That was partially why Dirge died. She burned up her soul as fuel for the spell. With practice, it probably was something she could have done without exploding, but you kind of only get one shot at it. Then again, when your entrails are lying in the dirt in front of a demon army, you kind of just go for broke. I could respect that.