Living the Hero's Journey

by Will Craig

  Born to Flourish

  Contrary to how the world is presented to you on a daily basis, regardless of the number of obstacles placed in front of you, no matter what challenges you face each day, know this: You were born to flourish.

  Understandably, there are times you may not feel like you were born to flourish, but you were. If you are flourishing, you are following your path. If you don’t feel like you’re already flourishing, you will. It can’t be helped. It is your destiny. Unless, of course, you won’t allow it. It’s strictly up to you. It’s your choice and yours alone.

  “You were born to win,” says motivational speaker Zig Ziglar, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win. The paradox, is you must be willing to fail first. Avoid failure, and you also avoid success. They are two sides of the same coin. Failure is the path to success. Without the willingness to walk through your fear of failure, you will never succeed in reaching your destiny.

  Don’t worry, failing is easy. You may have already done it a time or two. Going forward, relax in the knowledge that failure is the key to learning.

  Many people don’t know how to learn. To a large degree, school smarts are based on memorization. In traditional education, lessons come first—then no mistakes are permitted. With “street smarts,” mistakes come first, and then it’s up to you to learn the lesson. Both forms of education are expensive, albeit in different ways.

  Personal growth is a solo sport. The only person you’re competing against is yourself. Self-help books can be motivational, but recognize their limitations—they’re not about you. They’re about the individual who wrote them and about the people with whom the author relates (this book included). Make the story about you and customize your personal growth.

  Tap into the wealth of knowledge you’ve already accumulated, and the right choices emerge. Whether you realize it or not, you already know the next move you need to make, the next goal to pursue, the next dragon you need to slay. What most of us don’t know is how to uncover that hidden knowledge and act upon it. My sincere hope is that Living the Hero’s Journey has given you the inspiration to take action on your dreams.

  As we unwind in the final stage of the Hero’s Journey, let me say what a pleasure it has been to be part of your action-adventure. What a long, hard road it’s been—but isn’t that where all the living happens?

  What has living the Hero’s Journey come to mean for you? What does “living” really mean? Is it different from what you thought when you began this book? I know it is different for me now from what it was when I started writing this book. Isn’t it interesting how we look at life differently the further we get into it—especially when there’s more of life behind us than in front of us?

  In any great story or intriguing screenplay, there is irony. Dramatic irony provides the reader or moviegoer with an item of information of which the hero in the narrative is unaware. At the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, for example, Indy is assured that “top men” are studying the Ark. The final shot of the movie focuses on the wooden crate in which the Ark is sealed. The camera pulls back slowly to reveal it surrounded by countless other similar crates. Pulling back even further, we see an enormous, dimly lit, never-ending government warehouse full of sealed wooden crates.

  The irony here is that while we feel compelled to define our path in life, there is no destination in reaching our destiny. As Santiago learned, life well lived is about the journey—a Hero’s Journey that makes all the difference in the world.

  I trust you are well on your way.

  Exploring Your Role

  We have come full circle. The circle of learning takes us around the continuous loop of awareness/change/renewal. Another journey around the monomyth is the circle of life.

  Know thyself, and you will know you were born to flourish. Knowing yourself well + being passionate about your purpose + living in your essence = a high quality of life.

   You own the life you deserve. Think you deserve more? Then be more.

   The life you live is the outward expression of your inner journey.

   Life is inherently meaningless. The meaning life receives is what you bring to it.

  It is a basic human need to experience purpose and meaning. Each of us reconciles the meaning of our lives while living the Hero’s Journey.

  The inner journey is one from our ego identity to our core essence. In essence, we are here to serve others.

  The path to fulfilling our life’s spiritual purpose is found in our personal legend. The legend guides us along the Map of Self-Discovery.

  The meaning of life is mysteriously revealed in the act of giving. We must acquiesce to our excellence so we may deliver the gift we were brought into this world to convey.

  Barely a gleam in the twinkle of an unconscious eye, your great-great-grandkids, whom you will never meet, have an opportunity to live a better life—because you dared to be the hero of your life.

  Self-Discovery

  Who is responsible for the life you’re now living? Who has the power to change what’s not working?

  Is there a story you tell yourself and others that is hijacking your life—limiting your potential?

  What would you be doing differently if you were living in your essence?

  Is it your turn to give back and pay it forward—to step up and shift roles to serve and support?

  CHAPTER 14

  Lives Well Lived

  Happiness is not a goal . . . it’s a by product of a life well lived. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

  L iving well. This is the long-term goal I wrote down after listening to an Earl Nightingale audio cassette decades ago in Orlando, Florida. The definition of “living well” has changed for me significantly since then. The overall sentiment persists.

  When I sold my training company years ago, it looked like I had finally arrived. I was ready to step into the good life. Now I could be happy and content. And why not? I had earned my success and paid my dues (for nearly a lifetime).

  Based on what I now recognize as social conditioning, I thought the appropriate thing to do would be to find paradise, move there, and kick back with my family. This began a five-year expedition around the world to discover Shangri-La (and shoot a few photos).

  When I first began chasing paradise, my expectations were something akin to what was seen in the television show Fantasy Island (1977–84). Island overseer Mr. Rourke (Ricardo Montalbán) begins each episode in his tailored white suit, reminding the resort’s attentive staff, “Smiles. Smiles, everyone. We want our guests to feel welcome.”

  The show’s premise is simple yet powerful: Entertain affluent guests on a remote tropical island in luxurious surroundings, and make their secret dreams come true. I don’t know too many people who wouldn’t sign on for that experience. It still tugs at me.

  When I learned to let go of the fictional fantasy of paradise, a seed of truth began to sprout. It took years for it to come into full bloom, but I now know what I’m looking for and where to find it (better late than never).

  Paradise isn’t just a place. It’s a purpose. It’s a passion. Living in paradise constitutes a total “you-friendly” environment in which you can fully immerse yourself in the elixir of life: grace, goodness, and gratitude. The quest for paradise turns out to be an unnecessarily long journey—especially considering where you’ll find it—but don’t let that stop you from planting seeds along the way.

  Smiles, everyone.

  Flourishing In Fulfillment

  Living well is on everyone’s wish list, but each of us enjoys a slightly different flavor of flourishing. The more revolutions we take around the Map of Self-Discovery, the wiser we become. We become more attuned to what is meaningful and important versus what is frivolous and temporary.

  As you might imagine, the ancient philosophers had some experience in this arena. Let’s look to our model mentor, Aristotle, for some insights. In 350 BC he wrote an essay titled “Nichomachean Ethics.” If
you think that’s hard to say, just wait till you try to pronounce the topic: eudaimonia.

  Depending on who’s translating the word (it’s all Greek to me), eudaimonia means “well-being, happiness, fulfillment, and/or human flourishing.” Etymologically, the word is a mashup of eu (good) and daimōn (spirit). For Aristotle, it was the proper goal of a life well lived: practicing the virtues in one’s everyday life.

  Fellow Greek philosopher Epicurus agreed with Aristotle that eudaimonia is the highest good, but put a different spin on it. The Epicurean school of philosophy was less about high moral values and more about the modest pleasures of happiness, tranquility, and freedom.

  Some consider flourishing to mean taking it easy and enjoying the good life with all the amusements and distractions that go with it. Others see themselves flourishing with the acquisition and accumulation of wealth and power. Still others regard it as the pursuit of honor and a life dedicated to public service.

  I’m in favor of the literal translation of “good spirit.” Like the guardian spirit—our personal guide in the previous chapter—there’s something inspiring about co-creating the decisions leading to our best life. Should that be a life of honor, a life of pleasure, or a life of virtue?

  As in nature, flourishing requires balance. Too much of one component and not enough of the other weakens the spirit. The balance prescribed for moving forward is living well and doing well—living the good life while contributing the highest value for the greatest good.

  “Flourishing goes beyond happiness, or satisfaction with life,” says University of North Carolina psychology professor Barbara Fredrickson. “True, people who flourish are happy. But that's not the half of it. Beyond feeling good, they're also doing good—adding value to the world.”

  The concepts of happiness, flourishing, and highest good sound a lot like self-actualization, don’t they? Not only is it easier to say than eudaimonia, but self-actualization is more familiar to us—with good reason.

  In the early 1960s, there was a faction in the psychology community that viewed Sigmund Freud’s theories of psychoanalysis as limiting and overly pessimistic. Psychologists Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow started remixing the best of eudaimonia hits from the era of Socrates through the time of the Renaissance. The resulting study of human behavior with emphasis on the whole person became a smash hit: Humanistic Psychology.

  Maslow and Rogers pioneered a kinder, gentler “person-centered” therapy with the foundational belief that people are inherently good—a forerunner to today’s Positive Psychology movement. The two trailblazers believed, “[Self-actualization] can be achieved when all basic and mental needs are essentially fulfilled and the ‘actualization’ of the full personal potential takes place.” Usable translation: Self-actualization is recognizing and expressing your gifts and talents with a creative flair.

  Happiness of Pursuit

  Pursuing happiness is a lifelong obsession for most of us. I know it was for me. Even though I desire happiness just as much as the next guy, I’ve learned that real happiness comes in the pursuit of the challenge, not as the “just reward.”

  With all due respect to Thomas Jefferson, who thought it important enough to include in the Declaration of Independence, the direct pursuit of happiness is a fool’s errand. It may be an “inalienable right,” but it’s not going to get us where we long to be. Much like chasing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, we’re never going to seize happiness.

  Joy and happiness are not emotions that can be chased with any degree of success—they must be authentically earned. Happiness is a difficult job well done; it includes overcoming unforeseen obstacles and beating the odds. Our most rewarding and fulfilling times come after struggle. We know this subconsciously, but there’s an instinct in human beings that takes the perceived shortest route requiring the least amount of effort for any given task. For some, pursuing happiness sounds a lot better than earning it, so they follow their instinct (or wishful thinking). Why this path of pursuit is followed is no mystery; it’s human nature.

  Happiness is most heartfelt when we’re there for someone. They feel better, we feel better. These feelings can be multiplied exponentially, according to two professors at the University of California, Berkeley: “Happiness is found in actions that lift up the welfare in as many people as possible.” Dacher Keltner and Emiliana Simon-Thomas teach The Science of Happiness, arguably the most popular course on campus. They say, “Happiness may not be about your own personal pleasure or the delights you experience, but rather it's about bringing a lot of good to other people. It's about lifting up communities as a way to define happiness.”

  Isn’t this what larger-than-life action heroes do in the movies? In one way or another, they “save the world.” The question becomes: What can we do to save our corner of the world? Are we willing to make the sacrifices necessary to live up to our potential and fulfill our purpose in being here?

  Admittedly, I missed the boat on this one. I thought I had brought good to people and lifted the community. Over the span of ten years, I had built a coach training organization that taught thousands of individuals to be life coaches, who then went on to coach tens of thousands of clients toward a better life. I flourished during this time and enjoyed a tremendous amount of gratification.

  When I sold the business, it was the culmination of a major life goal. I had helped a lot of people and done well for myself at the same time. I couldn’t be happier. Then—poof!—it was gone. Hey, what happened to all the happiness I had pursued so diligently? This is where I was supposed to collect, right?

  The pursuit of happiness left me at a dead end. There wasn’t anything there. All this time I had been waiting to arrive, to be happy, and to live well. Now that I was here, all I could think was, What was all this talk about goals and success?

  Carl Rogers observed, “The good life is a process, not a state of being.” Arriving at our destination and achieving our goal is like eating great Chinese food—wonderful in the moment, but an hour later, we’re hungry again. We need the next challenge, the next goal, the next struggle. Instinctively, we know that’s where the juice is. Happiness comes as the organic byproduct of the journey itself.

  A life well lived is not about the hero reaching her destination. It’s about the quality of life while living the Hero’s Journey. Our goal may be to watch a feel-good movie. When the movie is over, we’ve accomplished our goal. Does this make us happy, or were we happiest when we were experiencing the sights, sounds, and emotions within the film?

  Goals are overrated. Enjoy the good life while it’s happening. Yes, it’s valuable to know where you’re headed and why you want to get there. Just don’t forget to breathe in the joy and happiness along the way. When you look back, these pleasing memories will be filed under A Life Well Lived.

  Let your work be your reward. Better yet, let your life’s work be your legacy.

  In real estate, a perfectly good house or building will be torn down and replaced with something better suited for that property. It’s called “highest and best use” of the land. What’s your highest and best use? What needs to be razed so you can deliver your highest value? How do you need to reinvent yourself and repackage your gift? The level of your success comes in direct proportion to the number of people you help.

  Actor Robert De Niro, in an interview about his role in the film Everybody’s Fine, summed it up this way, “You need a sense of purpose. You find something you really love and then you follow through. You stick with it. Nothing is easy if you really want to do it well or feel good about yourself. You've got to work at it. And in that work, well . . . there's your happiness.”

  From Success to Significance

  Personal success has many forms and can mean different things to different people. It usually involves career, finances, and social standing. Success is a measure of control one has over the outside world that then quantifies a person’s inner value. The flow of energy and value comes from outside the i
ndividual and is internalized.

  Significance flows from the inside out. Significance is what we give back, pay forward, and bestow upon others. It is the gift of experience and wisdom that radiates out from people who know what to do with their achievement. It’s easy to become consumed with navigating our way to success. When we finally arrive, however, we discover that the landing zone is actually a launch pad.

  Success is the launch pad to significance.

  Are you living for leisure or leaving a legacy? Are you keeping your feet on the ground and being practical, or are you launching yourself from success to significance? What will you do with your success and the treasures you’ve brought back from your journey?

  Success can leave one in a precarious state. Once you achieve a major goal, you lose your purpose. The void left by purpose and passion easily fills with aimlessness and depression.

  When I achieved success, I kicked back and watched my gift—the elixir I was to share with the world—just sitting on the shelf not helping anyone, least of all me. How am I bouncing back from the pitfalls of success (only half-joking)? I am repurposing myself and re-sparking my essence. This book is my humble launch pad on a quest toward significance. Will I make it? I’d like to think so, but even if it doesn’t work out the way I hope, I’m soaking it all in this time and enjoying the journey.

  Joseph Campbell wrote “The whole idea is that you’ve got to bring out again that which you went to recover, the unrealized, unutilized potential in yourself,” (Campbell, 2004). Heroes do the hard things and ask the tough questions. My colleague at Coach Training Alliance, David Krueger, asks himself each night, “What have I done today that will live beyond tomorrow?” Pondering the answer is a great thing to sleep on. Are you making a difference? Are you contributing something of substance and significance? Living up to your potential is hard work and something best achieved with the help of others—namely, coaches and mentors.