“I get it,” Alexander said. “Better than you think.”
Gabriel shot him a skeptical look. “Really? You feel that way, too?”
“Well, not that way exactly. I’m nowhere as messed up as you are.”
“Thanks,” Gabriel said. “So what’s the problem? I guess there’s a woman?”
“A man,” Alexander said. For some reason, it was easy to talk about it to Gabriel. Probably because this kid was far more fucked up than he was.
“Huh,” Gabriel said and muttered something that sounded like “must run in the family.” “So what about the guy? He doesn’t want you back?” Gabriel frowned. “Though it’s unlikely if he’s gay.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Gabriel snorted a laugh. “Don’t you own a mirror? You look a lot like Jared, and Jared is very handsome. Pretty much everyone at our football club is in love with him.”
But not you.
“Anyway, what about that guy?” Gabriel said.
“I want him.”
“Eh, and that’s a problem…why?”
Alexander looked out of the windshield, staring through the heavy snowfall.
“Wait, when you say ‘I want him,’ do you mean you want to hold his hand and smooch him to death or do you mean—”
“I mean everything.” Alexander thought of Christian’s face, his plump lips, and that goddamn smile, the curve of his neck, his little dark nipples, his thighs, his strong legs wrapped around him, his tightness, his heat, his dark eyes—
Alexander smiled self-deprecatingly, feeling his dick twitch. “And I mean everything. From gazing at him sappily to wanting to rub my come into his skin and make him stink of me inside and out.”
“Um,” Gabriel said. “Too much information, mate.”
Alexander looked at him. “You do realize Jared probably has less than pure thoughts when he looks at you, right?”
Gabriel flushed and fidgeted, biting his lip. “I try not to think about it.”
“You should,” Alexander said, his voice harder. “He’s not the parent you never had. He’s not your older brother. He’s not a monk. He’s a healthy man in his prime. If you love him as much as you claim to, you’ll stop being a selfish little shit and let him go.”
Gabriel’s bright eyes dulled immediately. “I can’t.”
Alexander heaved a sigh. “Are you sure you aren’t even a little into guys? I used to think I was completely straight.”
Gabriel shook his head. “Men do nothing for me.” He looked at his fingers and said hoarsely, “You know, I’m glad I’m not gay. If I’m this needy and dependent when I don’t want him physically, I don’t even want to think what a clingy wreck I would be if I wanted him that way. I probably wouldn’t let him out of my sight.”
He looked at Alexander again, his green eyes wide and pleading. He looked like an innocent, vulnerable kid again. “Don’t tell him I know. Please.”
Alexander pressed his lips together but nodded shortly.
“Thanks.” Gabriel placed a hand on the door’s handle but paused. “You know, when I was sixteen, I damaged my spine. Everyone thought it was a career-ending injury. I was scared as hell. What if all the doctors were right and I couldn’t walk again? So I kept putting it off—if I didn’t try walking, I couldn’t fall, after all.” A wistful, soft smile appeared on his face. “But Jared—he was my physio at the time—he told me if I didn’t try, I wouldn’t not fall, either. So I tried. And now I’m the best winger in the world.”
“And the humblest too,” Alexander said with a snort, turning on the windshield wipers to clear the snow. “Thanks, I got the moral of the story, but it’s unnecessary. I don’t kid myself anymore.” Alexander smiled ruefully. “I can’t stay away from him.”
Gabriel nodded without a smile. “Yeah,” he said hoarsely, opening the door. “I get it. Good luck.”
“You, too,” Alexander said and started the engine. “Don’t break my cousin’s heart.”
Gabriel’s answer was lost in the howling wind and swirling snow. Maybe it was for the best.
Chapter 21
Alexander came to a halt outside the familiar door and lifted his hand to knock but paused.
Christ, it was crazy. What was he doing there at this hour? The rational thing to do would be to wait until tomorrow instead of showing up at one in the morning like an addicted man in need of a fix—which wasn’t far from the truth. Christian and his grandmother were asleep for sure, and Christian was probably pissed at him for practically kicking him out of the car after kissing him first. Not to mention that Christian had given no indication that he wanted to be more than just friends. Christian didn’t do relationships. And Christian had said he wanted Jared.
Alexander gritted his teeth. No. He hadn’t imagined the hunger and need in Christian’s kisses, hadn’t imagined Christian lean into his touch. This thing—this helpless attraction—couldn’t be one-sided. He didn’t know what he would do if it was one-sided. Nothing good. Alexander had a sneaking suspicion that he wouldn’t take it well if Christian said he wasn’t interested. The mere thought made him restless and anxious. He didn’t want to be in Jared’s situation. Unlike his cousin, Alexander didn’t think he was capable of watching Christian with someone else. His self-control was nowhere good enough for that.
Realizing his fists were clenched hard at his sides, Alexander forced them to relax. Fuck. Maybe suppressing and avoiding emotions for years really had been a bad idea: he didn’t know how to deal with this at all. Christian sometimes jokingly called him a creep. Alexander had a bad feeling that it might not be far from the truth. He felt like a faucet with a broken handle: once open, it couldn’t be closed again. He had the potential to turn into a creepy stalker if Christian rejected him. Jesus. Christian had better not reject him.
Leaning against the wall, Alexander pulled out his cell phone and called Christian.
He had to wait a long time until Christian answered.
“Huh?” he mumbled, his voice sleepy and not entirely awake. His eyes were probably still closed. “Who are you and why the fuck are you calling in the middle of the night?”
“Do you really want Jared?”
Silence.
“Alec?” There was the sound of mattress springs.
Alexander licked his lips, imagining Christian in bed, his skin warm, his hair tousled from sleep, eyes sleepy and lips a bit swollen—
“Alexander?”
“Do you really want him?” he said, his voice harsher than he intended. He couldn’t help it.
Another silence.
“Are you jealous?” Christian said, a bit hesitantly.
Alexander drew a deep breath in. “Maybe.”
Christian let out a choked laugh. “Shit, this is really fucking with my head.”
Alexander thought it was only fair, considering Christian had completely ruined his orderly, rational life. “Do you want Jared?”
Christian sighed. “Anyone told you you’re like a dog with a bone? No, I don’t want Jared. Happy now? And why are you calling me at this hour?”
“Come out.”
“What?”
“Come out. I’m here, outside.”
There was a moment’s silence. “Are you seriously saying you’re outside my place at one in the morning?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I was in the neighborhood,” Alexander said.
“And decided to come for a friendly visit, huh?”
“Something like that.”
“Creep,” Christian murmured softly and hung up.
A minute later, he heard the sound of the lock click from the inside, and Alexander’s body tensed.
The door opened and Christian stepped outside and closed the door again. He was wearing only a pair of black boxers. Christian flushed. “The floorboards are very creaky,” he said, rather defensively, rubbing at his eyes. “I was afraid Grandma will wake up if I move around too much. She’s a light sleepe
r.”
“I didn’t say anything,” Alexander said, unsure where to look, his fingers itching to touch everywhere. He swallowed when he noticed that Christian’s nipples were hard before he realized the most likely reason for it.
“You’re cold.” Alexander pulled off his coat and wrapped it around Christian’s shoulders.
Christian gave him a strange look. “So what are you doing here?” he asked, adjusting the coat slightly.
Alexander tried hard not to stare. Seeing Christian in his clothes did strange things to his insides. And to his dick.
“Alexander?”
Alexander averted his gaze from the dark fabric of his coat against Christian’s skin, but now his eyes were drawn back to the flushed sleepy face, rumpled hair and soft red lips. Christ. His heart was racing like he was sixteen again, heat pooling in his stomach and sneaking across his skin. He couldn’t think.
“I wanted to talk to you,” he said, stepping closer.
“About what?”
Alexander put his hands on the door behind Christian, effectively trapping him between his arms. He breathed in deeply, looking into the chocolate brown eyes.
Christian’s lips parted. “Alec? What are you—”
“I wish I’d refused when Mila suggested a threesome,” Alexander said hoarsely. “I wish I never knew this feeling. It’s not beautiful. It’s ugly. And terrifying.”
Christian swallowed. “Alec? Are you drunk or something?”
Alexander smiled crookedly, watching Christian’s Adam’s apple bob up and down. “I wish.”
He dipped his head and brushed his lips against the pale skin of Christian’s neck. Christian gasped, his body trembling with tension, like an arrow about to be fired from a bow. Alexander was pretty sure he was trembling as well, but he managed not to yank Christian to him. In fact, their bodies weren’t touching at all—except for his lips barely grazing Christian’s neck.
Christian whimpered, the sound small and barely audible, and Alexander finally sunk his teeth into the flesh and sucked hard, wanting to leave a mark for everyone to see.
He trailed open-mouthed kisses upwards until he found that spot right underneath Christian’s jaw that made him shudder. He sucked hard, nearly delirious with want. “What the fuck did you do to me?” he whispered, licking there.
Gasping, Christian grabbed his hair and pulled him back. He looked no better than Alexander felt: his eyes were glazed over, his cheeks were flushed and his breathing was labored. But he said, “Wait, we can’t—fuck, I want to—but we shouldn’t. You have a girlfriend—”
“Not anymore. We just broke up.” Seeing Christian’s wide-eyed look, Alexander said with a rueful smile, “I know the decent thing to do would be to wait, but…I can’t wait.” He leaned in again and kissed the corner of Christian’s mouth before pressing their cheeks together. He breathed his scent in, greedy. “Seriously, what did you do to me?” There was a great deal of resentment in his voice, and he couldn’t hide it.
Burying his fingers in Alexander’s hair, Christian pulled him back a little so that they looked at each other. “There’s nothing wrong with you, silly,” Christian said, his eyes smiling.
Alexander shook his head. “You have no idea what’s going on in my head. I have some—some really creepy thoughts that creep out even me. You’ll freak out if I tell you.”
Christian grinned, running his fingers through Alexander’s hair. “Try me. Don’t worry, I always knew you were a weirdo.”
Alexander laughed. “Do you take anything seriously?”
Christian dimpled at him. “Nope, but you totally love it.”
Alexander stared at his smile, trying to control the wave of want that had nothing to do with his dick. “Maybe I do.”
Christian’s smile faded, his dark eyes becoming serious. “Alec?”
Alexander leaned in again and brushed his lips against Christian’s cheek. “I want you,” he said tersely. “Say yes.”
Christian’s body went rigid. He whispered, “To what? What do you want with me? Sex?”
Alexander drew a shaky breath in, pressing his forehead against Christian’s. “Of course I want sex,” he said in a hoarse whisper. He gripped Christian’s hips hard, digging his fingers into his round buttocks. “I want to fuck you. Want to kiss and touch you everywhere. Want to feel you come on my cock.” Christian’s lips were trembling an inch away from his. Alexander could barely stop himself from kissing them. “I’ve never wanted anyone so much, and it creeps me out, but just sex would never be enough for me. I know you don’t do relationships, but I don’t do casual relationships.” He felt his lips twist. “And this… there’s nothing casual about this. So if you say yes, you’ll get the full package deal, whether you want it or not.”
He pulled back a little to see Christian better.
Christian’s eyes were wide and oddly vulnerable before a dazzling smile split his face. “Is cuddling included in the full package?” he asked, putting a hand on Alexander’s chest. “I’m very partial to cuddling.”
Alexander felt his heart beat faster. At that moment, looking at Christian’s smile, he thought he would agree to anything. “Special offer, only for you.”
“Full package, please.”
Alexander’s breathing hitched. He gripped Christian’s hips harder. “Are you sure? You’ll never get rid of me.”
Christian’s hands moved to his neck and pulled him closer, until their foreheads touched again and their breaths mixed. “Maybe I don’t want to.”
And Alexander snapped and kissed him, pinning him to the door with his body, sucking and biting the plump lips with hunger that shook his entire body. God, finally.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered the kiss that started it all two months ago. Full circle. The same place, the same person, but the want he felt had changed into something more personal, something more intense.
Something scarier.
Fuck it.
Alexander cradled Christian’s face with his hands and kissed him harder, not caring.
If you look at him and think ‘this is mine,’ that’s it. Grab it if you can.
So he did.
The End
About the Series
Currently the Straight Guys series includes the following books:
#0.5 - Straight Boy: A Short Story (Sage & Xavier)
Young, blond and handsome, Sage attracts unwanted attention in prison. When his cellmate offers him protection, Sage accepts the offer, even though he doesn’t trust the guy. Little does he know how much it will change his life.
When he’s released from prison, Sage finds himself needing and wanting things he shouldn’t want. Sage is straight. He is. He has a girlfriend. What happened in prison stayed in prison—or so Sage tells himself.
Until he meets his former cellmate again. Xavier. The guy he hates and craves.
#1 - Just a Bit Twisted (Shawn and Derek)
Professor Derek Rutledge is hated and feared by all of his students. Strict, reserved and ruthless, he doesn’t tolerate mistakes and has little patience for his students.
Shawn Wyatt is a twenty-year-old struggling to provide for his younger sisters after the death of their parents. On the verge of losing his scholarship, Shawn becomes desperate enough to go to Professor Rutledge.
Everyone says Rutledge doesn’t have a heart. Everyone says he’s a ruthless bastard. Shawn finds out that everyone is right.
He strikes a deal with Rutledge, but unexpectedly, the deal turns into something so much more.
Something all-consuming and addictive.
Something neither of them wants.
#2 - Just a Bit Obsessed (Alexander and Christian)
#3 - Just a Bit Unhealthy (Jared and Gabriel) - will be published in 2015.
I’m currently working on the third book in the series, Just a Bit Unhealthy. If you would like to be notified when the book becomes available, subscribe to my newsletter: http://www.alessandrahazard.com/subscribe/
I love talking to readers and would love to hear your thoughts. You can contact me at my website www.alessandrahazard.com or email me at [email protected].
Thank you for reading this book. If you are so inclined, a review on Amazon is always appreciated.
Kind regards,
Alessandra Hazard
Just a Bit Obsessed Page 11