Fight

by JL Davis

  “No you don’t. You loooove me.” I giggle.

  “I could eventually, though,” he says, glancing over at me and back to the road. Now I’m the one who can’t breathe. “Speechless, are you? I never thought I’d see the day.” He chuckles.

  “Always full of jokes, Beckam. One day I’ll get you back. Just wait.”

  “I can’t wait.” He winks. I look out the window and can’t help but smile. That’s the closest I’ve ever been to a man admitting to me that he loved me or could and I actually believe him. I’ve heard the words several times, but having any true meaning behind them not once.

  We don’t say too much more on the drive home. He drops me off and I go inside for another shower. I smell like a disgusting ashtray. I didn’t know what to expect when Nathan picked me up tonight. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I guess I even enjoyed it for the most part.

  Ding! Ding! The bell rings and the fighters begin throwing blows. The bigger man is pounding on the smaller one. He has no chance in this match. Blood begins to fly everywhere. People begin to scream. I look around for anyone to possibly intervene and everyone just stands there watching the bloodbath. I see Jeff off to the side laughing hysterically. He does nothing to stop the crazy man from killing the man on the floor of the ring who is no longer moving.

  The bell dings once more and everyone begins to leave the room. I walk up to the ring and realize that Nathan is the one covered in blood and nonresponsive. I begin to scream. Jeff grabs me by the arm and drags me out of the room, leaving Nathan there. I think he might be dead and I can’t do anything to help him.

  I wake in a panic, relieved that it was only a dream. I’m shaking and panting trying to catch my breath. I even wipe tears that had fallen down my cheeks. I don’t know if I can handle this. I know it was only a dream, but what if something like that was to actually happen to him. I couldn’t handle it. I am beginning to have strong feelings for Nathan. Fuck. I have feelings for him. I can’t see him fighting all the time and wonder if he will be okay after each match. My heart couldn’t take it. I’m not sure what to do. I can’t live my life in fear for him. I need to talk to someone about this. I don’t know if I could talk with him about it though and I’m not supposed to tell a soul about it. What do I do?

  It’s time to go in to work. I grab my bag and coffee and walk out the door, trying to forget about the nightmare. I’m hoping if I get swamped at work I may be okay. Only I’m not.

  As soon as I see Nathan walk in the door I hurry to the bathroom and try to stop the tears from falling. He didn’t come in to work alone. Kayson is with him today, holding his hand and smiling. How can he be a fighter and think it’s okay when he has a son to provide for? That baby needs him more now than ever before. He’s his provider, his protector. He’s all he’s got. I need to talk to him. I can’t hold this back.

  A knock at the door startles me. “Brittany, is everything okay?” Nathan asks, concerned. I guess now is as good a time as any. I look in the mirror and blot my eyes with tissue before opening the door. I look down and don’t see Kayson.

  “What’s wrong baby?” Fuck he didn’t just do that. Pet names. That means serious. I must do this and now. “Nathan, I had a horrible dream last night.” He pulls me close as I wipe another tear away. Damn it.

  “What about? It’s obviously upset you.”

  “It was about you.” Nathan’s face falls. “I dreamed that you were in the ring and someone was beating you to death.”

  Nathan sighs, “It was only a dream, Brittany.”

  “I know that, but do you ever worry that you could be hurt? Do you?’’

  “Yes. I have, but I haven’t fought anyone that is capable of beating me or worse.”

  “What if someone did? What if someone hurt you badly? What would happen to Kayson? Who would take care of him? Have you thought about that?” Nathans face is blank giving nothing away. He just looks at me and then turns away.

  “Yes I’ve thought about that, several times and even more so now. I’m working on it Brittany. It’s not that easy though.”

  “How isn’t it. Just quit. Not for me. Not for you, but for your son. He deserves to have you around. He’s already lost one parent.”

  “I can’t just quit. There’s more to it than that.”

  “Explain it to me then. Maybe I can help you find a way.”

  “I can’t deal with this right now, Brittany. Kayson is up front with Jessa. I need to get back to him and I have a few jobs to check on today with Alex.”

  “Is everything okay in there?” Alex asks. “We need to go Nathan. Jessa said Kayson can stay here while we go check on the jobs. It shouldn’t take too long.”

  Nathan turns, opens the door and walks out not saying another word to me. Alex sees me and acts as if he’s going to say something but leaves it alone other than a questioning look. I shake my head and he nods walking away.

  Nathan and Alex come back a couple of hours later. Alex and Jessa go out for lunch. He thanks her and takes Kayson in his arms and comes toward me. I don’t look up or acknowledge him. I know it’s childish, but if I was to say something it wouldn’t be for a toddler’s ears.

  Nathan sits on the edge of my desk. I try to hold back the smile that is dying to come out but I can’t. I look at him and he’s grinning while Kayson is watching me. He’s pretending to type, mocking my movements.

  “Kayson would you like to help me type?” I quickly save the file and brink up a blank word doc for him. He looks so excited right now. He reaches for me and I take him, setting him in my lap as he begins to mutilate my computer.

  “Look Nathan, your son wants to be like his daddy and work for the company too. He wants to be just like his daddy. Isn’t that adorable?”

  Nathan watches Kayson and gives me a look, a look that he knows exactly what I’m saying without even saying it. He looks devastated. I feel somewhat bad. He’s dealt with a lot of pain the last few days, but there’s a possibility he could endure more if he continues to fight for Jeff.

  “I get it, Brittany. You’re right okay? I’ll try and talk to Jeff. I don’t see that going over too well though. I bring in the crowds. I’m the one that brings in the money. There’s more to it than that. I have a lot to think about, but I’ll handle it. Please trust me to do that. Please don’t be angry with me anymore.”

  “I do trust you Nathan. I really do. I’m not mad. I just needed you to know how I felt and to make sure you realized the possible consequences with this hobby of yours.”

  “I’ve always known the risks involved. After a while, I needed the money, Brittany. Not for me, it was for Tonya. She blackmailed me. When she found out I was fighting we were still married. She thought I was cheating on her. One night she followed me to the warehouse and after I won she demanded to know how much I was being paid. She was so angry that I was keeping it from her and a secret savings account. She asked for a divorce and if I didn’t give her half of the money from each fight and full custody with only having visitations she was going to tell the courts and then I’d never have been able to see Kayson again. Jeff knows all of this and I wouldn’t put it past him to blackmail me as well. That’s the reason this won’t be easy.”

  I can’t believe that bitch. I know she’s dead and you shouldn’t speak ill of the deceased, but that fucking bitch. No wonder he doesn’t have joint custody. How dare her do something like that. He’s a good man and she kept him from his son. I hate her. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. I will help you get through this, Nathan.”

  “As I said, it won’t be easy. Jeff has every fight recorded. He will do anything necessary to keep me in the ring.”

  “Underground fighting is against the law Nathan. Do you really think he will give himself up just to ruin you?”

  “I wouldn’t put it past him.”

  “We will figure this out. There must be a loophole somewhere. That son of a bitch won’t get away with this.”

  “For now, let’s just enjoy
some lunch okay? Let’s go. I’m taking us out. Are you hungry Kayson?”

  “Eat. Daddy. Eat.” Kayson yells.

  “Okay, let’s get you fed.” I say, standing and grabbing my purse and carrying Kayson in my arms as we walk out to Nathan’s truck.

  I will help him. Nathan will not lose his son if I have anything to do with it. It’s a good thing my dad is a lawyer, a criminal lawyer and one of the best in the state. He would do anything for me. I guess it’s time to introduce Nathan to my parents. That should be very interesting.

  After work, I get home and start a google search about being granted custody of children and the requirements. There is so much to consider with this. I completely understand why. Children deserve the best. From what I can see Nathan meets all the requirements. The only thing that’s hurting him is the fact that he’s an underground fighter.

  Tonya never told the courts about it from what I gather. I’m not sure exactly what she said to receive full custody. I know Nathan gave her custody to keep her quiet so he could spend time with Kayson.

  If Nathan was to continue to fight until after the court hearing after he gained custody, there’s nothing Jeff could do if Nathan quits. It would be even better if we could get our hands on the videos that Jeff has of each fight he was involved in. That way there wouldn’t be any real proof. I’m sure Jeff doesn’t do anything legal when it comes to that crooked business like book keeping. I need to get my hands on the court documents.

  I wonder what even brought all this on? Why did Nathan decide to start fighting? Derek said to let Nathan tell me and I’d never asked. I need answers so I decide to call him.

  Nathan answers on the first ring. “Hello beautiful.” He’s so sweet.

  “Hey. I have been doing some research about the custody thing. What exactly was said for Tonya to receive custody of Kayson?”

  “Well, she didn’t really say anything at all. I had told the judge that I didn’t want Kayson to be separated from his mother so young. The judge was satisfied with that, that I was being so responsible and putting my son first. He just didn’t know the whole story is all.”

  “Okay. What’s the reason that you even started fighting?”

  “I don’t know if I want to tell you. You’ll probably hate me.”

  “Don’t be stupid. Just tell me.”

  Nathan sighs. “Being with Tonya was never easy. She was always difficult to be with. Sometimes I wonder why I stayed as long as I did. When she became pregnant with Kayson I knew I was stuck. I wouldn’t desert my child. Anyway, after we married she became very difficult to be with. She became very controlling. Tonya would hurt me emotionally and physically at times. I couldn’t stand her and sometimes I even had thoughts of putting my hands on her. That wasn’t me. I’ve never been that person. I started going to meetings for anger management and that’s where I met Jeff.”

  “Wow. What a piece of work. That’s a terrible thing to do.”

  “Yes and no. The meetings didn’t seem to help much. I don’t like talking about my feelings much, especially with strangers. I’ve always worked out and been fit, and I guess Jeff noticed. Since he runs the show, so he got me in with no problem one night and it seemed to help. I participated in one fight a month, and then it turned into two, and now I’m in the ring on every fight night in at least one match. It became addicting, the adrenaline rush of it all. Even after I was divorced I couldn’t stop.”

  “You are still going to quit, right? I can give you an adrenaline rush if you need it.”

  “Oh yeah? Care to elaborate?”

  “I’d rather show you.” I say seductively.

  “You can come over if you want.”

  “I want you to meet my parents soon.”

  “That’s a way to kill an erection,” he grumbles.

  “I’m sorry,” I laugh. “Did you know my dad’s a criminal lawyer?”

  “Interesting. No, I didn’t. I’m not sure that I want your father knowing all this. I don’t think it would score me any brownie points. Ya know.”

  “I get it, but you’re quitting, so it won’t matter.”

  “I guess. Let’s just see how it goes first, before you give him this information. I wouldn’t mind meeting them, though. I bet your mom is hot.” I have to pull the phone away from my ear, he’s laughing so loudly.

  “That is disgusting, Nathan. That better be one of your stupid jokes.”

  “It is. I promise. So, are you coming over?”

  I look at the clock and it’s only seven. I haven’t even eaten yet. “I don’t think so. I need to find something for supper and take a shower.”

  “That’s perfect. I’m making spaghetti right now and there’s plenty. I also need to take a shower.”

  “What’s Kayson doing?”

  “I’ll give you one guess.”

  “Hhhmmm. I bet he’s playing with his trucks.”

  “Too bad you weren’t really betting. You would’ve won,” he chuckles. “Do I need to set out one more plate?”

  I have nothing going on tonight. As Nathan said, we need to kinda let this play out for a bit. It will give me time to get more information, too. “Okay. Give me thirty, forty minutes. Do I need to bring anything?”

  “I have beer,” he says, and I crinkle my nose. “You might want to pick up some wine for you.”

  He knows me better than I thought or he just pays attention. I’m thinking the latter.

  “Okay. I’ll see you soon. Does Kayson need anything?”

  “That’s sweet of you to think of him. I think he’s good, though. Are you going to stay over?”

  “Do you want me, to?”

  “I always want you to,” he says sweetly.

  How did I ever hate him? I was so stupid. He’s so freaking sweet. “Okay. I’ll grab some clothes and the wine and be on my way.”

  “Yay. A sleepover,” he chuckles.

  “Bye,” I laugh, hanging up.

  I stop at the grocery store and pick up a bottle of wine. On the way to the checkout I see some coloring books and crayons on the end of a rack. I pick out one with trucks on the cover and grab a box of crayons and set them on the counter. I think Kayson will enjoy those. I can color with him. It’s very relaxing.

  I knock on the door a couple of times and there’s no answer. The door is not locked so I walk in and my nose is met with the most amazing aromas of basil, oregano, garlic and parmesan. Is he making homemade sauce? This man is amazing.

  “Hello!” I call out, listening for anyone nearby. I walk into the kitchen and no one is here. I set the bag down on the counter and walk down the hall in search of Nathan. I see the light on in the bathroom and the door is cracked. I hesitate, what if Nathan’s on the toilet? That’s a boundary for me. Everyone needs privacy in the bathroom. When I hear Nathan’s voice singing to his son in the bathtub it almost takes my breath away. He’s amazing. What can’t he do? I step forward so I can hear a bit better and the floor squeaks. I stop and squeeze my eyes shut.

  “Brittany, is that you?” he asks, pushing the door open, shocked to see me standing there.

  “Sorry. I didn’t want to interrupt. Your voice is wonderful, Nathan.”

  “Don’t. Please.”

  “Oh, the big bad fighter doesn’t want anyone to know that he has a beautiful singing voice,” I taunt him. “Why did you give him a bath before eating spaghetti for dinner?”

  “I guess I didn’t think it through.” He looks at me and goes cross eyed sticking his tongue out at me. I crack up laughing. He’s the total package.

  I follow them to the kitchen, thinking of every great characteristic he has. Nathan is strong, handsome, sweet, funny, smart and a wonderful father. He seems to be a pretty good boyfriend too. I may keep him.

  “Brittany, hello.” I startle and look at him. He’s staring at me like I’m crazy.

  “Yeah. Sorry. What?”

  “What are you thinking about?”

  “You,” I say, rolling my eyes.

  �
�Huh. Okay. That’s good.” He winks. “How many spoonful’s do you want?”

  “Oh. I guess two is fine. Thank you.”

  I walk over to Kayson in his booster chair as he bangs his fork on his chair. “I have a present for you,” I say, patting his head. I walk over to the counter and remove the coloring book and crayons. Nathan’s watching us closely. “Here ya go, buddy.” I open the book and point to the trucks. “Look you’re favorite. Trucks.” The smile on his little face is worth every penny and more. I reach into the box of crayons, handing him one and grabbing one of my own. I begin coloring on a page and he watches as I do. He finally puts his crayon on the paper and scribbles all over it.

  Nathan walks up behind me, kissing my neck. “Thank you. He loves to color.”

  “Of course. All I could see was his little face when I spotted them.”

  “Okay, Kayson. Let’s put those up for now and eat your spaghetti.”

  “Sketty,” Kayson says.

  After dinner, Nathan cleans him up again. Kayson colors a bit more with us and then Nathan puts him to bed. When he returns, I ask, “Where’s dessert?”

  “I’m looking at it,” he says, looking at me with desire in his eyes. “Come on.” He grabs my hand, walking us to the bathroom. He turns on the water, grabs us each a towel and wash cloth. “Let me help you,” he says, unbuttoning my blouse and pulling down my hair. His gentleness leaves goosebumps along my skin with each touch. I reach for my pants and he grabs my hands. I look up at him and he shakes his head. “No. Let me. Please.” I nod, my arms falling to my sides.

  Nathan drops to his knees as he drags my pants down my legs. “No panties?”

  “Not with these pants.” I smile. He kisses my hip and stands.

  “It’s a good thing I didn’t know this earlier. I would’ve cornered you in the bathroom.”

  “I’ll remember that for next time.” I wink.

  “Go ahead and get wet,” he says, nodding to the shower, opening the door for me.

  “I already am.”

  I step into the shower and watch Nathan as he undresses. I look over every inch of his body. This is the first time I see all of him, his sculpted chest, the small patch of hair that starts at his belly button leading down his rippled abs to the “v” that makes girls go crazy. I press my legs together and I can feel the wetness between them that is not caused from the shower.