by Renee Porter
“How did I even come up in the conversation?” The question was perfectly founded and I smirked.
“Well that’s what I wanted to ask you. Will you date me?”
At that moment an array of emotions clouded Taylor’s face. I couldn’t tell if she was mad, happy, confused, mad again. Okay, I’m sure she was mad. Fuming, actually.
“Jen! You out me and then ask me to date you? What the hell?” She shook her head and that’s when the tears started to fall. “Gosh. You’re so…I’m sorry. I can’t be here right now.” Taylor stood and I stood too, grabbing her arm before she could storm off.
“Wait, Taylor. Please wait. I swear I didn’t mean to.”
Taylor looked down at my hand and shook it off. “Jen, you outed me to my parents. You made me believe you weren’t attracted to me. Then you ask me to date you when we both know we are graduating in a few weeks. How is that fair? What am I supposed to say?”
I struggled to find the words that would make this situation better. In my mind, I would tell Taylor that I had accidentally outed her, she would be relieved. Then I would ask her out and she would smile, say ‘yes’ and we would live happily ever after.
“Yes?” Definitely not the right word to pick.
Taylor bit her lip and sighed, much like her mother did when she didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry, Jen. I can’t. I’m dating, Landon. I thought…I thought you knew.”
And then the conversation was over and Taylor was walking away from me.
And that was last time I spoke to Taylor Montgomery-Fields.
Chapter 15
5 years later…
My breath came out in rapid puffs as I ran through the streets of downtown La Canada. The old homes towered high above my head as the oak lined street opened up in front of me. I usually waited until the morning to perform my daily run, but tonight I was celebrating.
The California air was brisk but not as chilly as Oregon in winter. I breathed it in, let it out, breathed it in again. I smiled.
The voice rang through my mind again as I turned onto Berkshire Avenue. The sidewalk, paved with new concrete, echoed with my every step.
Hello? May I please speak with Jennifer Hunter?
This is she…
My heart rate sped up as I remembered the call. I knew who it was the second I had heard the voice.
This is Christina Locke. We met earlier in the week…
I followed the steps that I had taken for nearly the last five years of my life. I had stumbled upon the La Canada trails when my new roommate at the time had said she loved to hike. It wasn’t long until I was being dragged along with her and my future classmates to the hills surrounding Pasadena. At first, I wasn’t positive when Kristie said that the scenery could rival that of Portland’s trails, but I was gratefully mistaken.
Yes. Hi, Christina, how may I help you?
The concrete gave way as I passed a “Public Trail, Okay to Enter” sign. I took in a deep breath, willing my heart to slow with my pace. I felt the incline as soon as I hit it. My leg muscles starting to burn with the familiar pain. I knew I was close to my destination.
Well, Jennifer. Good news! We’d like to offer you the position.
I had been speechless. Literally, speechless.
Shaking my head, and laughing now, I was sure anyone looking at me would think I was crazy.
The incline leveled off as the California sun snuggled behind the feathered clouds. With my hands on my knees, gasping for breath, I peered out at the site in front of me.
“I got it?” I finally said after a few brief moments of silence.
“They loved you.” Christina chuckled over the phone.
“I just…I’m sorry, I can’t believe it. I’ve wanted this for so long.”
“Believe me when I tell you this is the best part of my job. A representative from HR will call you in the next few days with the specifics and an official offer. I just wanted to let you know that you’re in, that is, if you want it.” I could hear the smile in Christina’s voice. She already knew what I would say.
I laughed almost manically. “Oh, I want it!”
Again, Christina laughed and before ending the call, I heard those words I had been so desperately wanting to hear. “Well, then. Welcome to NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Jennifer. We’re happy to have you in the family.”
My eyes started to water as I looked down at a hundred and seventy-five acres of my future home; The Jet Propulsion Laboratory. Old and new buildings spread out across the landscape. A college looking campus where the brightest minds in science congregated to build newly advanced systems to learn about the universe.
Never had I thought that I would be one of them. Never had I thought that I would have the chance to work in my dream job. I had thought it would take decades longer to get here. But, as I looked down at my new home, I started to believe it.
My name is Jennifer Hunter. And I am an engineer for JPL.
+++
“Dana?!” I didn’t even wait for the video to fully focus before shouting at my computer’s screen.
“Oh. My. God. You got it?”
Dana and I jumped ecstatically, hundreds of miles away from each other. The laughter echoed through my small apartment causing a now awake Kristie to join the party.
“What in the hell…”
I didn’t allow Kristie to finish her statement as I grabbed her tightly and swung her around in my arms. Sloppily kissing her cheek, she looked at me dumbfounded and then her eyes lit up.
“You got it?”
“I got it!” I screeched back.
“She got it!” The tinny voice coming from the computer yelled and Kristie placed her hands on my shoulders, successfully stifling my excitement.
“I knew you’d get it.” Kristie smiled and hugged me again. My face hurt from the sheer bliss coursing through my veins. A few moments of sappy hugging, and Dana finally cleared her throat.
“Okay, lovebirds. Kristie, release my best friend and let me see her face.”
I rolled my eyes at Kristie who gave me a playful slap on my backside. I whelped and stared her down but her crooked smile made me let her off easy.
“We’re celebrating tonight. Talk with your BFF. I’m getting ready!” I followed Kristie with my eyes as she returned to the back of the apartment and finally gave Dana my undivided attention.
“Okay, so tell me everything.”
I took a deep breath trying to figure out where to start. “Well, HR is going to call me in a few days with the offer, but the section recruiter called to tell me that I’m being offered the position. It’s with the Engineering Sciences division and I’ll be on the new Mars project.” I beamed into my webcam.
“Wow. So I can really say that my best friend is a rocket scientist?”
If Dana had been there in the flesh I would have smacked her shoulder.
“I’m an engineer, not a rocket scientist.”
“Um, excuse me, but are you or are you not engineering rockets and other space stuff that will fly into space?”
I shook my head and chuckled at Dana’s logic.
“Yes, that will be what I am doing.”
A clap sounded across the line and Dana gave me a thumb up. “Rocket scientist.”
We spoke for another twenty minutes before Kristie was whining at me to finish so she could take me out. I said goodbye to Dana, telling her that I would speak with her soon, and closed my laptop lid. I whistled as Kristie grabbed her keys, jingling them at the front of the apartment.
“Don’t act like you don’t know how hot I am.” Kristie twirled for me and I chuckled at her humble nature. With long, dark brunette hair and a face that could get her everything anywhere, Kristie was a knockout.
“Oh, believe me. You let me know how hot you are every day.” Kristie winked at me, ushering hurriedly to grab my jacket. “I don’t think I’m dressed for a night out on the town.” I looked down at my gray long sleeved sweatshirt and blue jeans and trie
d to compare myself to the perfectly primped, Kristie. With her black cocktail dress and red pumps, I knew that we weren’t just going to the coffee shop down the street.
“Pish posh, you look fine. Gorgeous as usual.” I pursed my lips as Kristie sighed, grabbed my coat, and placed it in my arms. “Seriously, let’s just get going. We’re celebrating.” She smiled again at me and I finally relented with a shrug. It wasn’t like I needed to impress anyone anyway. And making Kristie wait was not a good idea.
Chapter 16
I woke up with a start. My head pounded as if three thousand trolls were line dancing on my brain. My feet were sore, my legs burned from my last celebratory run and I fought against the light that seemed to stream merciless into my bedroom window.
Somewhere outside the wooden protection of my door, those same trolls were talking loud and excitedly, crashing pots and pans and screeching at the top of their lungs.
“Wake up! We’ve got lots to do!” I groaned at Kristie’s beaming smile and noted to myself that I should really lock my door more often. I turned around and groaned again as the clanging got louder. Kristie held a tambourine in her hand and shook it while singing some sort of Christmas song, slightly off key.
“How are you even up right now?” Again, pots clanked around and a drum could be heard in the far off distance. “And did you bring home a marching band with you last night?”
Kristie laughed as she kneeled on my bed, shaking the tambourine in parallel with her humming. I groaned and hit her with the pillow, successfully stopping the ringing in my head.
“Hey, is that any way to treat your best friend?”
I peered at her through sleep filled eyes and nodded my head. She shook her own, got up off the bed and shrugged her shoulders turning toward the door. “Fine. Looks like I’ll just eat breakfast with your family, then. And you can sleep away the day.”
I don’t think I remember a time I moved so fast. “What? What did you just say?”
Kristie provided me with a crooked smile and shook the tambourine as an answer. I heard a laugh and a snort coming from somewhere in the apartment and my smile grew with every second. “You’re kidding!”
I didn’t wait for Kristie to respond. I peeled out of my room with messy hair, make up still on from last night and hope that Kristie wasn’t pulling one of her pranks.
“Jen!” I laughed as Beth barreled into me. A small toy drum hung from her neck and her drumstick poked me in the stomach but I didn’t care. I met my mother and father’s eyes and shook my head in disbelief.
“What are you doing here?” I let go of my sister and gave my mother and father the same attention. My mom laughed as I winced slightly when Beth hit her drum loudly.
“She’s loving the little drummer boy this year.” I nodded my head in understanding and chuckled when Kristie started to sing with her tambourine and Beth.
“Again, what are you doing here?” I motioned for my parents to sit. Taking out some mugs and placing the coffee pot on brew, I waited impatiently for someone to answer.
“We just thought it would be nice to surprise you. I know you said you weren’t sure if you were going to be able to come see us this Christmas, so we brought Christmas to you.” I forced myself not to tear up. I didn’t even realize how much I missed them until this moment.
“You’re staying two weeks?” I asked with enthusiasm and my mother and father and sister nodded as one.
“We booked the Marriot downtown. We flew in last night and wanted to surprise you this morning.”
“What? A hotel? Why don’t you guys just stay here?”
“Yeah, Mrs. Hunter. I told you I’d let you guys take my room. I can stay with my mom…”
“You knew about this?” I looked over at Kristie with surprise. “You can never keep surprises from me.” Kristie blushed as she shrugged her shoulder, sipping on her coffee.
My mother looked between us, that knowing glint in her eye and I blushed as well.
“I didn’t want to impose too much. The hotel is fine. But thank you, Kristie. We just want to spend some time with you, Jen, before you’re too busy to make frequent trips home.” My mother stood from her seat and walked over to me, placing her hands on my shoulders. “I’m proud of you, Jen.” She gave me a hug and damn if those tears weren’t ready to burst from my eyes.
“Thank you,” was all I could say. The room grew quiet for a few seconds before Beth hit her drum again. I jumped and laughed as my mother shook her head at her eldest daughter.
“And I’m sure you don’t want to be waking up to that at six every morning.” We laughed, including Beth, which of course led Dad, Kristie and Beth into an impromptu version of “The Little Drummer Boy.” Mom and I applauded as Beth undraped the drum from her neck and sat in front of the TV. She waited patiently, waiting for me to put it on her favorite shows and for a moment something inside of me panged. Looking around, seeing my family in my ‘new’ city and home was more than anything I could’ve wished for Christmas.
“So how about that breakfast?” Kristie cleared her throat and I shook myself out of my daze. Smiling gratefully at her, she gave me a brief wink before seeing to Beth herself.
“She’s great,” mom whispered conspiratorially next to me. I choked a laugh and got started making breakfast.
Chapter 17
“The ‘rents are gone.” I sat down next to Kristie on our small balcony, handing her a cup of hot cocoa. Giving me a small frown, she blew on the steam and took a gentle sip.
“You should have told me they were leaving. I would have said bye.”
I nestled myself in the chair next to her, sipping my own cup of cocoa. I hummed with content as soft Christmas music came from inside.
“It’s okay. They didn’t want to bother you while you were working.” I pointed my cup to Kristie’s glowing laptop. Numbers riddled the screen in an algorithmic succession and Kristie sighed at the sight.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to hermit away. I just had to get this fixed before Monday.” I nodded in understanding. Kristie’s work was grueling, however, her work ethic was never lacking. Being a full year ahead of me in school at CalTech, Kristie graduated over a year ago with her degree in Computer Science. She now worked for Space X, a corporation that is set to land a man on Mars. Her algorithms will get us there, if not at least close enough to get there.
“So, were you surprised?”
I chuckled at my friend and lay my head back against the chair. She knew I was, but I still let her know that her secret had been well kept.
“I almost forgot how happy you are when you’re around your family. You don’t visit them nearly enough.”
“I know. It’s hard to get out there though. I knew going for my Master’s in five years would be hard but I didn’t imagine the amount of time it would take away from my visits home.”
“Well, it’s all done now. You’re degreed. You have an amazing job offer and I’m sure the pay is more than enough for a couple more visits home a year.” I clinked my mug against Kristie’s with agreement. “And, maybe…I don’t know…you could tell your mom…”
It was my turn to sigh. I stared out across the dark sky and waited for a moment to process where Kristie was going with her point. “I’m sorry I dragged you into that. She just wouldn’t stop asking if I was dating and I didn’t want her to think that all I did was homework and research.”
“Well, it’s definitely going to be a surprise for her when she realizes I’m not actually dating her daughter and I’m not even a lesbian.”
“I know.” I looked over my shoulder to Kristie and smiled. “But thank you for not making a big deal out of it. She loves you. Apparently, you’re good for me.”
We laughed together for a moment and Kristie responded, “if only she knew.”
We stayed silent as her computer beeped. Kristie picked it up, her fingers starting to move on their own accord. I closed my eyes, listening to her type away on the keyboard, the Christmas music washing over
my every sense. My throat dried as a new song started to play. A new rendition on an old favorite and Kristie hummed along.
I don’t think about her often. In fact, there are weeks and months where that part of my life stays hidden in the inner recesses of my mind. But when her voice comes over the radio, a stir of something inside of me awakens. Suddenly, that girl in high school emerges. Even if she doesn’t make herself known to my outer self, she is still there. The confusion, the feelings, the memories – they all come back, and for a few ticks of the clock it’s hard for me to still process them.
From what I know, Taylor is doing great. We live in the same state, the same time zone but in two completely different worlds. We haven’t spoken since those weeks after our last talk where I was a complete mess. She left earlier in the summer to stay with her grandmother. I left in late August, pouring my heart out to Dana what I call now the ‘in between’ and wondering why I had been so delayed in my coming out fully. It had seemed so stupid at the time to ever think I wasn’t ready for a relationship with Taylor.
But by the time Dana left for London, my heart had mended with my best friend’s encouraging words, and time helped to heal the rest.
However, that voice still got me.
Taylor made quick work with her mothers’ network of friends. Within two years of living in California she had made a name for herself in Hollywood. Landing a supporting role on stage at a re-emergence of the acclaimed “Dancing Through a Leap of Faith”, Taylor landed on the map, hard. She released a self-titled album not soon after, her songs climbing the charts and her fans climbing with her to the top.
She was always on the radio with her new single crushing sales. She didn’t sell out, just like she said she wouldn’t. In fact, she delayed signing with a record agency because they didn’t want her to sing her own songs. I learned that little bit from the internet.
I don’t stalk her, at least, not anymore. When I left my younger self behind and started into college, all I would do is peruse the net for news on Taylor. When she was named the supporting female role in the production, I couldn’t be more than happy for her. It wasn’t until I saw her on the arm of some handsome man did I realize that Taylor wasn’t a part of my life anymore. And with that picture I vowed to myself not to allow moments to pass me by like they had in high school. I dated, of course, and had a few short relationships. When my school work started to falter though, I decided to wait to date until after my degree was finished. I figured I’d have more than enough time to find ‘the one’ after I was out of school.