by Renee Porter
And now I am out of school. Having graduated at the end of last spring semester, my life was now finally starting. But the thought of dating wasn’t as exciting as I had believed it would be.
“I love her cover of this song.” Kristie stated from beside me. I hummed in agreement and she closed her eyes, waiting for Taylor to sing the last, perfect note. “You should find a girl like that.”
“Like what,” I asked, knowing fully who Kristie was already speaking about.
“Taylor Montgomery-Fields. Now she is a woman I would totally switch teams for.”
I chuckled with Kristie, feigning mock hurt.
“I mean, can you imagine coming home to her every day?” Kristie whistled low and that damn stirring rustled within me. Because I could imagine it. But only for a few more moments of the ticking clock.
Chapter 18
“You know that tree lighting ceremony down on third street?”
Kristie came into the living room, her face aglow against the Christmas decorations that we had put up within the last few days. I cocked my head at her, trying to figure out where she was going with the randomness this conversation.
“Do you want to get out of your work clothes and into something more comfortable?” I put down the heavy text I was reading and Kristie flopped down on the couch next to me. She grabbed a handful of trail mix that I had been munching on and swallowed before answering.
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
I shook my head, not knowing what she was talking about.
“Well, every year, Santa Monica has a tree lighting ceremony. Then, afterwards, everyone goes down and walks the pier.” She took another handful of trail mix. “I was thinking that Beth would love it.”
My heart fluttered and eyes softened at my best friend. “You’re the best, fake girlfriend, you know that?”
Kristie gave me a wide smile. “I’d hope you say that.” She shifted on the couch, reached into her work slacks and produced a handful of tickets. Handing them to me, I shook my head in disbelief.
“Kristie, you really didn’t have to do this.” The valued amount on the tickets was outrageous and Kristie had bought a ticket for herself and everyone in my family. “Let me pay you back for my family at least.”
Kristie shook her head, not accepting my offer. “I’m a young, ‘single’ woman with a great job. I can afford it. Plus, once you start at JPL you can pay me back. You know what I like.” Kristie gave me her trademark wink and I chuckled with her absurdity.
“Beth is really going to love this. Do you think she could bring her drum?” Kristie stood and stretched her back. I could tell that the overtime hours were getting to her, but she would never say a thing about it.
“They better. Or I’ll hack their systems and Grinch out on their Christmas ceremony.” Again she winked and I shook my head. There was no way that Kristie would break the rules like that.
“Well, thank you. You really didn’t have to do this for us.” Kristie shrugged, a slight blush of embarrassment showing on her face.
“You know my parents don’t like to do that kind of stuff. And I’ve never had any siblings. It would be great to share this with people who enjoy Christmas as much as I do.”
For a moment, I felt bad for Kristie’s childhood. She alluded a few times that the Balentine clan did not do the traditional Christmas. When she was growing up, she would have to donate the toys she got at Christmas to the less fortunate. She said it didn’t bother her much, up until the Christmas where ‘Santa’ gave her a puppy. I could still see the hurt in her eyes as she told the story of her younger self, handing over the small golden retriever to another child. The kid didn’t even want a dog, she had said. He looked at it as if it would be the bane of his existence.
“Thank you.” I stood and wrapped my arms around the taller brunette. I felt Kristie stiffen and then relax as her arms found my middle. “I can’t wait to tell Beth.”
“Oh, let me do it?” Kristie smiled as she backed away, heading to the kitchen to actually make herself dinner.
I chuckled after her and agreed that she could do the honors and vowing that I would try and make this Christmas a memorable one for my best friend.
+++
“Okay, Hunter clan! Line up in single file.” Kristie sounded in army like fashion and Beth giggled. Dad stood straight at the end of the line, mother behind me and Beth giggling in front. My sister’s hand stood salute on her forehead and I knew Kristie had just been doing this for her entertainment.
“Roll call. Mr. Hunter?”
“Present.”
“Mrs. Hunter?”
“Present”
“Jenny?”
I chuckled at the absurdity of it all and quickly stifled it when Kristie gave me a teasing glare.
“Present, Sargent.” I saluted for good measure and Kristie nodded her head once.
“Elizabeth Hunter?”
“Here, Sargent!” Beth mimicked me and I could hear my parents laughing from behind.
“Elizabeth Hunter, you will be in charge of this operation. Do you understand?” Kristie eyed the smaller girl in front of her and Beth nodded.
“Do you have your drum?” Again Beth nodded and struck her drum in answer.
“Good.” Kristie backed up a few feet and pointed to the door. “Fall out platoon.” Beth turned and snaked her way to the front of the door. I felt my mother give my shoulder a squeeze and I knew what she was saying. She loved Kristie. I felt proud for finding someone in my life that my mother approved of, even if Kristie wasn’t really who she said she was.
“You’ve won over the hearts of ever Hunter family member.” I whispered to Kristie as we all filed out of the door, finally breaking our line once we stopped at the elevator.
Kristie made a noise with her mouth. “As if someone couldn’t ever like me.” She rolled her eyes and I chuckled at her humble nature.
The reason why I love living in the suburbs of Los Angeles is that it doesn’t take very long to actually get into or around the city. Kristie drove us to Santa Monica, making outlandish claims in a mock tour guide voice.
“And to your right, you will see our section of the Pacific Ocean. This is where the terminator came back from the future in order to kidnap Marty McFly.” Beth giggled at the reference to two of her favorite movies.
I whispered to Kristie from the backseat. “Didn’t Marty McFly go back to the future?” Kristie rolled her eyes and laughed lightly.
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen the movie.”
I made it a point to remedy that fact when we returned later tonight.
“Wow. Mom, look!” Beth exclaimed from her window seat as we all stared out onto the Santa Monica pier. The sun had been setting on the water, casting a glint on the large, iconic Farris wheel. “Can we ride?”
“Absolutely!” Kristie said from the driver seat. I secretly thanked her with my eyes, knowing there was no way in hell I would be riding a fifty year old dinosaur.
When we were finally able to park, we ushered out of the large vehicle and immediately Beth took my hand and Kristie’s. I could see the happiness in her eyes and began to realize that this is exactly what she needed to get into the holiday spirit.
For a while we maneuvered around the third street promenade. We stopped at a few street performers and I was happy to see they didn’t get frustrated when Beth wanted to join in. She sang at the top of her lungs, although the words weren’t really words at all, and drummed along with their other instruments. At times, Kristie rang her tambourine, mom swayed with Dad and I just relished in the holiday spirit.
After grabbing a bite to eat, we settled over to the lighting ceremony. Kristie checked her watch and we followed her to the center. Showing the tickets to the large bouncer blocking the stage area, he allowed us to pass as we made our way to a small group close to the tree. In front of it, stood a solid stage where instruments had been previously set up.
“Wow, you don’t do anything half
assed do you?” I peered over to Kristie, giving only a wink as my answer.
The California sun had finally made its full decent under the horizon and I looked up at the stars just starting to form underneath the grey, blue backdrop. And then, the crowd applauded as turned my eyes to the stage.
Bruce Wellington smiled and fixed his ear monitors, holding a microphone to his lips. Behind him stood five hooded choir singers, not showing their faces yet. A shiver of cold ran up my arms and I smiled.
“And now I really know why the tickets were so expensive. Did you know he was going to sing?”
Kristie nodded, not answering with words. Bruce Wellington was a legend of our generation. Coming into fame when we were kids, he was now a pinnacle of the American People.
“How is everyone doing tonight?” Bruce asked through the microphone. The crowd jeered around us and Beth gave a whistle. She laughed as the man smiled on stage. “We are so happy to be here at the infamous Santa Monica tree lighting ceremony. And before we start, I just want to wish everyone a Happy Holidays. And I hope that everyone gets, whatever they wish for…”
The choir hummed in harmony as I waited for the music to start. To my surprise, Bruce started to sing only to the hums, the words of ‘Halleluiah’ filling the streets of Santa Monica.
His voice was beautiful and lights surrounded him, sparkling his eyes. The tree glowed a dark blue as lights seemed to dance with his every word. I felt my sister grab my hand, entranced in the music. In that moment, I wished I could see through her eyes.
He ended the verse slow and melodic as he stepped away from the center of the stage. The choir unveiled their hoods as they started to form beats with their lips and hands. The instruments on stage weren’t needed as their bodies took over.
My breath stood still as one single choir member took Bruce’s place. The crowd erupted in applause and whistles as her voice started the next verse. It was flawless, the way she sang. Her melodic voice came through the speakers as if I was hearing her on the radio. Kristie whooped along with the crowd, not knowing the exact effect that this moment was having on me. Hell, I didn’t even know the effect.
My palms started to sweat as my sister laughed, letting go of me and holding my mother. “It’s Tay,” she said over the sound of the harmonious voice. I didn’t want to look at the woman singing on stage, and in the same sense it was impossible for me to look away. Seeing Taylor in the flesh after all of these years had similar effects as it did in high school, and I didn’t know how to process that.
“Maddie and B are over in the corner,” I heard my mother whisper through the song. I glanced over to where she was motioning and saw Taylor’s parents in awe of their daughter. Nodding, I took stock of the rest of the patrons in our small area. They too had similar expressions. Even Kristie was entranced.
Again, I nodded at my mother, who seemed to know that words weren’t needed. When Taylor’s verse ended, the crowd jeered as another, lesser known singer took over and Taylor stepped back into the choir with Bruce. Her smile was brilliant, and she waved out into the crowd, eyes darting over everyone and stopping at no one in particular.
Thank God for small miracles.
As the song finally ended, the tree came fully to light and the audience ‘oohed’ and ‘awed’ at the brilliance of the lights. The tree stood at least twenty feet tall, it’s lights rivaling the stars in the sky. I wish I could say that I couldn’t take my eyes off of it, but if I had, that it would be a lie.
My eyes couldn’t leave Taylor, even if I had tried a thousand time. They would be glued to her form, her smile, her aura. Snow machines ignited in that moment and Taylor laughed and held out her hands as soft flakes of snow fell over Santa Monica. I watched Taylor hold eyes with her parents and wave. I watched as she scanned the crowd, waving at particular people screaming her name. And then I watched as blue, ocean eyes locked with dark brown. Taylor tilted her head, a tiny acknowledgement that maybe she had seen me, but in the next instance she was waving, being ushered off stage so that Bruce could finish his set.
People mulled around the stage, listening to the new Christmas song that Bruce had started. I, however, felt as though the crowd was closing in too tightly. I grasped Kristie’s shoulder, motioning that I was going to move over to a slightly less crowded area and got an understanding nod in the end.
It took a few moments to navigate through the crowd. I ended up in a corner near a store decorated with white lights. I caught my father’s eyes as he too, tried to navigate through the crowd. He had one person in his sights and I breathed in deeply, trying to steady my nerves.
“Pretty neat, huh?” My father lowered his gaze. He was never one to know what to say in seemingly distinct moments. I nodded at him, afraid of what my voice would sound like if I said any words.
“I think your mother caught Maddie’s and B’s attention. She’s going to ask them if they’d like to get a cup of coffee with us after the set.”
Again, just a nod.
“Are you okay, sunshine?”
“Yes. Of, course. There are just a lot of people.” It was a lame excuse that I’m sure my father saw through. But if he had, he hadn’t made a comment about it.
“Well, I knew that Taylor was well liked but that crowd made me realize just how far she has come.”
“You know, I think I may not being feeling too well. I might just grab a car back to the apartment.” My father opened his mouth to oppose my idea. “I’ll be fine, dad.” He frowned, not wanting me to leave and I think not really understanding why my mood had changed so drastically.
“At least let me grab your mother so you can say bye. She’d want it that way.” I wanted to tell him that I would call her later but he was already gone by the time the thought came into my head. I waited as he was engulfed in the throngs of people, my eyes darting back and forth, hoping to see my mother’s face before Bruce finished his set. I liked Maddie and B, but the thought of having coffee with them made my stomach sick.
“Thought it was you…”
And that’s when I thought my sickness would take actual corporal form. I closed my eyes, knowing full well who that voice belonged to but hoping that it was just my imagination. Turning my head over my shoulder, blonde hair encased in a beanie, with a long neck covered in a full scarf met my eyes first. I forced a smile as Taylor’s pink mouth fidgeted to form her own.
“Aren’t you afraid you’ll be seen?” I don’t think it was the type of ‘hello’ that Taylor would be hoping for, but in the same breath, Taylor chuckled.
“Nice to know that some things never change, Jen.”
I rolled my eyes as the tease landed deep inside. So, maybe I’m still a little lackluster when it comes to Taylor. Sue me.
“How are you?” That was a little better and Taylor shrugged, somewhat nervously.
“I’ve been good, you?” I nodded my head. “Heard you got some big wig job at NASA.” Her eyes smiled and I finally gave a genuine one as well.
“You did? Who did you hear that one from?” Taylor eyed the crowd who was still focused on Bruce singing.
“My moms. I’m pretty sure your mom told all of Portland when she heard the news.”
I laughed softly and Taylor’s eyes didn’t move from me. It was a defense mechanism. I just didn’t know what to think of Taylor keeping tabs on me after all of these years.
“Didn’t take long did it?” I scrunched my nose at Taylor and her eyes darted over my shoulder. She sighed and cursed under her breath which almost startled me. I looked over my shoulder as a group of kids pointed over to our direction.
“Looks like you’ve been found out.” I raised an eyebrow as Taylor rubbed her palms together.
“Consequence of the job. Can’t even talk to a pretty woman without the world knowing.” Taylor looked around us as her words sank deep within me. I’d file that one in the back of my mind for later. “What are you doing tomorrow?”
“What?”
The girls behind us star
ted to giggle as Taylor kept her eyes on me.
“Tomorrow? I have a free day. Maybe we could catch up?” Taylor didn’t wait for me to respond as she grabbed a card from her jacket and gave it to me. “Looks like I’m out of time. Let me know.” Before I could respond, Taylor was walking away. Holding the card in my hand I watched as Taylor disappeared through the flakes of snow, a group of kids chasing after her.
If she hadn’t been just here, talking with me, I would have believed I thought the whole thing up in my head.
“What do you mean you’re not feeling well?” Kristie startled me as she placed her hands on my lower back. I turned to her, as my mother, father and Beth followed quickly behind. “Oh, man. You are pale. Is everything okay?”
I nodded my head, crunching the business card in my palm. Shoving my hands in my coat pocket I breathed out. “Sorry. My stomach just feels weird.” Kristie nodded as she relayed the information to my parents. They agreed to taking me home as I kept a tight fist around the piece of paper in my pocket.
Chapter 19
It doesn’t matter how many times I replayed the meeting in my head, it always ended up the same way. Taylor leaving.
I know I was getting ahead of myself but I couldn’t shake the feeling. Did I want to reconnect with the blonde that held my eighteen year old self in the palm of her hand? Could I actually talk with Taylor without having those weird feelings stir inside of me? Was I adult enough to have a conversation with her that didn’t constitute childish insults because I still didn’t know how to talk to Taylor after all these years? Could I watch her walk away toward someone else, again?