Coming Home to Roost

by Mary-anne Scott

  ‘You knew.’

  The situation was bad enough for Elliot but he saw things had just moved up a notch for Dad.

  ‘Please, Mum. I told him to leave it to me; he wanted to tell you straightaway.’ Elliot felt terrible. He knew the only thing worse than being left out of a secret is to find you’re the one person who didn’t know.

  ‘When is the baby due?’ Her tone was cold.

  ‘Umm. Soon. We haven’t discussed that yet but I think very soon. Deeks said mid—’

  ‘Oh, is Deeks the father?’ Her voice resonated with hope.

  ‘No.’ He desperately wished he didn’t have to tell her. ‘I am.’

  ‘Dear god. That ghastly girl.’

  ‘Lou, I don’t think you should say that again.’

  ‘Don’t you, Russell?’ Her head snapped forward. ‘Ghastly, cheap, avaricious!’

  Elliot wasn’t sure what avaricious meant, but he got the drift. ‘I’m going.’ He opened the door and stepped back into the night. Mum started to cry properly then, giant waves of grief that were best left for Dad to deal with. Elliot knew he’d failed her and tonight would be etched in their memories forever.

  The house was warm when Elliot arrived home; the curtains were drawn and the cats were two wound coils in front of the fire.

  ‘Hello boys. Mr-Cock-It-Up is back. Wanna see some action?’ He pulled up Arnie’s chair and poured the first rum. Jetsam scarpered but Flotsam sat up, tucked himself into a neat shape and fixed his eyes on Elliot.

  ‘This one’s for you because you are one smart fucking cat.’ He took his first sip. ‘I am one bloody big fuck-up but you, my boy — you know shit.’ After that, Elliot toasted Nana, Zeya, the name Barnard, Arnie’s survival, the clean kitchen, all the troubles in Burma, and finally, his undoing, his toast to Rick.

  ‘Why don’t you ring, you useless brother? So perfect and high and mighty. Rick can do this, Rick can do that.’ Elliot thought about Rick and Mackenzie; the way they were kind to each other, their mutual admiration. He wondered why he didn’t have someone like her. A girlfriend who was a real friend. ‘I hate you, Rick,’ he shouted and hurled his glass into the corner behind the fireplace.

  Elliot’s phone was ringing in his pocket but his pocket was under his ribs. It hurt to drag his jacket around, because his arm was numb. He stared at the screen — fourteen missed calls! He squinted closer and saw that it was 10am. His head ached, from the eyes up and the mouth down.

  He rolled his thumb over the screen and made a brief visit to photos before he managed to find his way into the call log. Sure enough, all the calls were from Lena and they were all in the last fifteen minutes.

  The events of last night came back in a stream of images and he was sorry they were back in his head. The bedroom door was shut and the cats were protesting loudly outside. Elliot’s phone rang again — welcome to the day.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Elliot? Oh my god. I thought you’d never answer. I need help. I’m so scared. You have to get here. You have to help.’

  Lena’s voice was high-pitched, hysterical. Alarm shot through him and he immediately sat up in bed. ‘Calm down. What’s the matter?’

  ‘Katie’s gone off the road. We were coming around a corner and there was this farm thing in front of us. It was so slow and we were too fast. I said “Watch out” and she missed it by driving off the road. It was so scary and now she’s hurt.’

  Elliot stood up. ‘Listen. Lena, stop and listen. Have you called an ambulance?’

  ‘Yes. Someone’s here. They’re getting her out.’

  ‘Where are you?’

  ‘In the car.’

  ‘No, where? Like—’

  ‘Oh right. We’ve just been through Woodville.’ Lena called out to someone and Elliot listened to the shouted conversation. ‘Her leg is squashed,’ she said, ‘and her head’s bleeding.’

  There was a banging sound and Lena gasped. ‘I want to get out but I can’t open my door.’

  ‘Is the ambulance there, Lena?’ Elliot rubbed his head and tried to decipher the background noises. ‘What sort of help is there?’

  ‘Yes. No. I’ve hurt my back. It’s so sore. Please don’t go.’

  ‘No, I’ll stay and talk. Tell me more stuff. Keep calm.’ Elliot wasn’t calm. His heart felt as if it was jumping in his chest and he threw clothes away from the power-point as he searched for his cellphone charger.

  ‘I’m all wet,’ Lena whispered.

  ‘Shit. Have you landed in water?’ Elliot frantically thought maybe he should be ringing emergency services to check they were getting help.

  ‘No! I think my waters have broken.’

  ‘What?’ He couldn’t think how that expression fitted into the scene and when it clicked, he crouched down and sat on the floor. ‘The baby?’

  ‘Yes. I hope it’s not hurt. It’ll be so scared.’

  If the baby wasn’t scared, Elliot sure as hell was. There was more shouting in the background and he heard Lena say ‘I think my waters have broken,’ this time to a stranger.

  The reply ‘What?’ came back in much the same tone Elliot had used. Then the stranger also instructed her to stay calm. It now sounded as if Lena was the calmest person of all.

  Elliot could hear muffled activity, more shouts, then Lena said, ‘I have to hang up. I’m going to the nearest hospital.’

  ‘Which one?’

  She asked someone and then said, ‘Palmerston North. Can you come? Please, I’m scared.’

  ‘Yeah, of course. I’ll get sorted.’

  The room then filled with silence as if Elliot had switched off the TV instead of his phone. He rummaged in his drawers to find some pain relief for his pounding headache. I’m not tough enough for Arnie’s homebrew.

  Palmerston North was only two hours away but there was no petrol in the van and Elliot wasn’t sure where his wallet was. He patted his pockets and felt the fifty dollars Mum had given him the night before. ‘Oh, shit. Mum,’ he said aloud.

  He trawled back through his phone to see if they’d rung this morning. It wasn’t a good sign to see that they hadn’t. She couldn’t still be crying, could she? He hated to admit it, but he needed his parents again.

  ‘Dad? Where are you?’

  ‘Back road, behind Levin. We thought we’d just slip away and we’ll talk later. Your mother is—’

  ‘I need help. Something’s happened.’

  Dad’s voice was cautious. ‘What’s up? Is Arnie okay?’

  ‘Yeah, no, it’s not him.’ Elliot was back crouched by the power-point for his charger. ‘Katie and Lena’ve been in a car accident. Katie’s injured and Lena thinks the baby’s coming. It’s doing something watery. She’s being ambulanced to Palmerston North hospital.’

  ‘Pull over and pass me the phone.’ Elliot could hear Mum’s voice over the car speaker. Then she said quietly into the receiver, ‘Tell me what’s happened?’

  He said it again.

  ‘Did Lena say her waters had broken?’

  ‘Yeah. I think that’s right. She wants me to drive there; she’s really scared.’

  ‘Can you?’

  ‘I’ve just woken up but I can.’

  ‘Dad and I will drive there now. Tell Lena we’re on our way.’

  ‘Will you be nice?’

  ‘Of course,’ she said in a shitty tone. They didn’t speak for a moment and then Mum asked, ‘Is this your baby?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Okay.’ She gave a sniff. ‘We’ll do everything we can to help.’

  ‘Does the waters thing mean the baby’s coming?’

  ‘Yes. You only go forward from this point.’

  It was as clear as mud to Elliot. ‘Right.’

  ‘Was the baby moving, did she say?’ Mum asked.

  ‘No, she didn’t say. Do you think it might be—’

  ‘I don’t know. She’ll be in the best place.’

  Dad said something in the background and Mum said, ‘We’d better get going, E
lliot. Send me Lena’s number in case we need it. We’ll see you when you make it. Don’t speed.’

  ‘Thanks, Mum. I’m sorry, you know. I didn’t—’

  ‘I know.’ She waited a moment and then she said, ‘I’m sorry too.’

  Elliot sent a text to Lena saying Mum was coming to help and that she would behave. Then he sent a text to Mum and gave her Lena’s number.

  The next job was to ring the hospital and ask if Arnie’s pills could wait another day and to ask them to please tell Arnie that he’d been called away as the baby was coming. He would explain everything when he saw him. Then Elliot went back and checked that he hadn’t muddled up the texts to Mum and Lena.

  It took twenty minutes to shower, dress and clean up the broken rum glass before he was out the door. Mum’s money put petrol in the van and food in his belly. Elliot was on his way at last and only then did it occur to him that he was about to become a father.

  The van was full of loose tools that hadn’t been sorted from the day of the accident, forcing Elliot to drive slowly so that they didn’t slide everywhere. The radio was a heap of crap and he was left to the mercy of his thoughts. They rolled with the wheels, steady and noisy.

  Everyone will know soon.

  Rick. I haven’t dealt with Rick.

  I haven’t left cat food out.

  A bloody freakin’ kid is going to be born.

  One quiet thought crept in time and again under the noise of the van: Maybe the baby’s dead. The accident might have solved his problems. Did he want that? The baby might have to die because Arnie is going to live. He wondered if Zeya would call that karma.

  The hospital was well signposted and Dad’s ute was in the car park. Elliot pulled up next to it and he could see Dad sound asleep, his seat tipped back. With his chin unshaven, his mouth hanging open and his head wedged between the door and the seat, Dad looked twenty years older.

  Elliot’s mouth felt as dry as a slipper and he swallowed on nothing as he gave Lena’s name to the woman at the front counter. He asked where he might find her.

  ‘Maternity.’ She smiled as if he’d won a prize.

  At maternity he asked the nurse about Lena and she said, ‘Are you Mr Barnard?’

  He was about to say, ‘No, Dad’s asleep in the car,’ when he remembered, Hell, that’s me. ‘Yes, I am,’ he said and both he and the nurse looked doubtful. ‘Has the baby been born?’ he asked.

  ‘Nearly, I think. Shall I take you down there?’

  ‘No. I’ll wait.’

  ‘I’ll let them know you’re here?’

  ‘If you want to, but I’m not going in till it’s born.’

  The nurse moved off and came back with Mum, who was wearing a hospital gown. She tried to give Elliot a hug but he didn’t want to be touched.

  ‘What’s going on?’ he asked.

  ‘Lena’s doing remarkably well considering the circumstances. Come and see.’

  ‘No. Call me when it’s out and everything’s covered up.’

  ‘Oh, Elliot. It’s your baby.’

  ‘Yeah. But she’s not my girlfriend and never will be.’

  Mum appeared to come down off whatever happy drug she was on and nodded her agreement. ‘Okay. Stay around; it won’t be long.’

  There was a waiting room with tea-making facilities near the ward entrance so Elliot went in there. The TV was playing a daytime movie with a pregnant woman running through the streets waving for a yellow taxi. He flagged the hot drink.

  Half an hour later Mum came to find him. ‘Come on! Come and see!’

  ‘What? Is it alive?’

  ‘Yes, it’s fine.’

  ‘What is it?’ Elliot didn’t care one way or the other but he wanted to delay going in.

  ‘A boy,’ Mum said in a choked-up way. There were tears in her eyes. ‘You’ve got a son.’

  ‘Oh! Shit.’ Tears welled up in Elliot’s eyes; unexpected tears that shocked him. He felt clever, scared, manly and—Fuckin’ stoked! A boy!

  Elliot followed Mum into the room and saw Lena propped up under a fluffy sheet holding a bundle in a blue blanket.

  ‘Hey,’ he said to Lena and he looked closely at the baby.

  ‘Hi,’ she replied in a hoarse voice. There were cuts on her hand and he remembered to ask if she was alright.

  ‘No. She’s been very brave,’ Mum said, ‘and the doctors are going to attend to her now. We think her wrist is broken.’ Mum leaned over and slid her arms under the baby. ‘May I take him?’

  ‘Sure,’ Lena said. ‘Can you hold him while I go for X-rays?’ She sounded slurry and tired.

  Mum nodded and was still staring at the baby as Lena was wheeled off. ‘Have a hold of him, Elliot.’

  ‘Hang on,’ he said, ‘I need to sit down.’

  ‘You won’t drop him, but you may as well get comfortable.’

  She put the small bundle into Elliot’s arms and arranged the blanket so that only the baby’s face was showing. Elliot could feel his brain working overtime. But he’s a little dude. He watched the baby’s perfect face, all closed up and sleeping as if he’d been around for years.

  ‘Isn’t he beautiful?’ Mum leaned in and peered closely. ‘He’s got your face.’

  Elliot couldn’t see that at all. He felt confused as if he was an actor in a movie, and yet there was something weird going on in his head, because he kept thinking, It’ll be okay, buddy. I’ve got your back.

  The room was busy. A nurse wheeled one bed away and replaced it with another and the metal frames clattered as they bumped and shifted. Elliot held his son and was amazed that the little guy didn’t stir. He lay relaxed and trusting in Elliot’s arms.

  ‘Just hold him for a while,’ Mum said. ‘We could put him in his bassinet but he’ll be happiest being held. I want to go and check on your dad.’

  ‘Alright; don’t be too long,’ Elliot said, but he felt fine. He couldn’t stop gazing at the little face. The baby was safe with him.

  ‘Are you okay there?’ A nurse came up after Mum had gone. She pulled the blanket down a fraction and tucked it under the baby’s chin. ‘He’s a good colour, isn’t he?’

  Elliot didn’t dare agree or disagree.

  ‘Sometimes they can be a bit yellow or jaundiced, but your wee man is fine. We’ll need to do some tests soon, bloods and measurements, but he’s quite peaceful at the moment.’ She reached in and lifted his arm out of the blankets and held it for a moment. ‘Dear little thing,’ she said as she tucked him back under the cover. ‘Have you got a name yet?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Righto. Someone will be along very soon.’ She wrote some notes on the board lying on the bed. ‘Do you know if your partner is feeding him?’

  ‘Pardon?’ Elliot wasn’t sure what she meant and he wondered if Lena had done something wrong. He responded by saying, ‘You can take the baby now, if you like.’

  ‘Oh.’ The nurse looked confused and surprised. ‘I’ve made assumptions. I’m sorry.’

  Elliot wished his mother would hurry up. Perhaps this nurse was just a trainee and he changed his mind about passing the baby over. ‘Actually, I’ll hold him a bit longer. My mother will be here in a minute and she’ll know what to do.’ He could feel his independence slipping away — Already I’m bleating for help.

  ‘Sure.’ The nurse moved away and she’d only just disappeared when another nurse came along.

  ‘Ahh! You new Daddy?’ Elliot didn’t know what nationality this nurse was but her voice was soft and musical and Elliot felt a pang for Zeya. ‘Lovely. This baby from car crash?’

  ‘Yes.’ News travels fast around this place.

  ‘Baby good, though. Baby full-term, huh?’

  ‘I don’t know. What’s full-term mean?’

  ‘It’s good. It mean baby ready to come.’ She waved her hand searching for the words. ‘Full-term. Mother forty weeks along.’

  He wasn’t sure what she was on about but he saw Mum pass the window outside and knew his shift was nearly
over. ‘Yeah,’ he said and smiled.

  Elliot’s phone rang as he wandered through the car park with pizza in a box to share with Dad. His heart sank when he saw Rick’s name on the screen.

  ‘Why is no one answering today?’

  ‘Dunno. Who’s no one?’

  ‘Mum. She said she’d make food for volleyball camp this week and she’s not home and she’s not answering.’

  Precious Rick.

  All Elliot’s kind thoughts about reigniting their brotherly bond quickly disappeared as Rick’s whiney voice burrowed under his skin. Elliot thought the lovely Mackenzie could do some cooking, or maybe Rick could make his own damn food. ‘It’s been a crazy day,’ he said. ‘Why don’t you get some mince and chuck something together? Get some cans of—’

  ‘Why don’t you mind your own business? Have they left Wellington or not?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I’ve been ringing and they’re not answering. Who’s gunna wash my kit? I’ve got a game tomorrow and I leave on Wednesday.’

  ‘You could wash it.’

  ‘Get stuffed!’

  ‘Elliot?’ Mum was walking towards the ute. Rick, sharp as a tack, heard her voice.

  ‘You liar! I’m telling Mum you said they’d left Wellington.’

  ‘Whatever. Tell her what you like. I’ll get her to call you.’

  ‘Why? What’s going on?’

  ‘Nothing. I’ll get her to call you; she’s just talking to someone.’ Elliot hung up on Rick and leaned on the van. Here at the hospital, they were a private team: Katie, in a separate ward being readied for surgery; Lena, her wrist being attended to, her baby delivered; Mum and Dad, efficient and supportive; and the baby, perfect in every way.

  But Elliot knew life was going to barge in and people like Rick were going to have opinions, be demanding, try to make the whole business sordid again. He rubbed his face. Every part of his body ached as if he’d been the one in an accident.

  ‘Dad and I have been talking, Elliot,’ Mum said. ‘We need to get back. We both have work tomorrow. Lena and Katie will each be in hospital for a few days. I’ve spoken to the nurse in charge; they won’t kick them out.’