The Secret Virgin

by Kate Gilead

Then, Rob fills my Dad in with Valeriss’ progress and my Dad listens quietly, nodding, a satisfied look on his face.

  It’s over too soon. Sunday’s chore day, so I opt to go home in the truck with Dad and Diesel so that Rob can just head home himself.

  We have our hug and kiss good-bye in the parking lot. “I’ll text you later,” Rob says. “Things are looking up, sweetie. I think Valeriss will be gone soon. I won’t have to worry about her any…”

  Ding! His phone sounds a text notification. He looks at it and groans.

  “It’s Valeriss. She says she got hold of Tanner finally and there’s nothing he can do about her situation. She has to go to D.C. to deal with it in person.”

  “So?” I say. “She just said she’s going home to meet her family anyway. What’s the problem?”

  “I don’t know. Now she’s saying, she wants me to go with her or she’s not going at all.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Rob

  “She got scared,” Brenda says, right away.

  “Yep.”

  “It’ll be okay,” she says, and stands on her tiptoes to kiss me. “Call me later.”

  It’s hard to walk away from her.

  When I get home, Valeriss is in panic mode.

  “Robbie, Tanner says I have to be in D.C. to deal with this! He says he sent paperwork to the house! He says my accounts are joint with my father! He says the bank is waiting for the paperwork! He says he didn’t try to contact me because he can’t represent me and my dad’s estate both! He says he thought I knew that! He says I have to find someone else!”

  As she speaks, she paces in a tight circle, stabbing the air with splayed hands, eyes buggy and tense.

  “Okay, okay, slow down.” I make my voice low and soothing. “That’s all fine. You’re fine. Tomorrow we find you a lawyer, and you go home, get the paperwork and go from there.”

  “Robbie, I can’t…I don’t…Daddy took care of all that! I don’t know what to do! Please come with me!”

  Meff is pacing uneasily, big head looking from me to Valeriss and then back down to the floor.

  “Val.”

  She stops, frowning up at me.

  “Tomorrow, you will have a lawyer to represent you. The lawyer will help you do everything you need to do…one step at a time. That’s their job. ”

  “But… I can’t! I don’t know what…I’ve never had to deal with this shit, Robbie!”

  “Val,” I say. ”

  “No! I’ll fuck everything up!” She starts breathing hard, almost hyperventilating. “You have to come with me!”

  “No, you won’t and no, I don’t. You’re just panicking, but it’s all going to be okay. The lawyer will help you. You won’t be alone. Together, you’ll deal with it, one step at a time.”

  I stay calm. I go into the kitchen and get a soda from the fridge, open it, and drink some. She follows me.

  I pat myself in the chest and burp softly, as nonchalant as can be. “Tomorrow night, I’m filling up your car with gas so you can drive yourself home Tuesday.”

  “I don’t…”

  “I’m going to give you plenty of cash for gas and food. Enough to stop and stay in a hotel overnight, if you need to. You shouldn’t need to, though.”

  “I’m scared!”

  “Of what? You got yourself down here just fine, you’ll get yourself home fine, too.”

  She stares at me. “I…I did make it down here okay, didn’t I?” I see a glimmer in the back of her eyes.

  “Yes, and you were even more freaked out then. How did you manage that?”

  “I…dunno. It’s all a blur. Meff was a nightmare, Robbie! He kept crying and trying to climb into my lap!”

  “That’s because you were a mess yourself, Val. I’ve told you a million times… he’ll be okay if you’re okay. Look at him.”

  She looks. He stops his pacing and looks back at her, ears back, tail between his legs.

  “It’s not the drive that scares me,” she says, looking back at me.

  “I know. It’s being alone. But, you won’t be. You’ll have your own lawyer who’ll work for your interests. You’ll have family….more family than I have, maybe!”

  She takes a few deep breaths, and then plops herself down on the couch. Meff goes to her and lays his head in her lap. She strokes his ears, speaking soothingly. Soon, he relaxes and lays down at her feet.

  “See? You need to keep it together for both your sakes. You’ll be fine.”

  “You think so, Robbie?”

  “Yes. And besides, you’ll only be alone for one night. Your family’s flying in on Wednesday, right?”

  “Right…but…”

  “But nothing. They’ll help you, they’ll be there for you, give you moral support.”

  “But…what if my dad was right about them?”

  “He wasn’t.” I say it as matter-of-fact as I can. “You need to give them a chance. I understand you loved your father, Val. And that he loved you. But it’s time to move out of his shadow.”

  She lets out a shaky sigh. I sit next to her on the couch and put an arm around her shoulders. “You’ll be fine.”

  She sighs and pats my hand. “You’re too good to me, you know.”

  “Oh, I know,” I joke.

  We sit in silence. Then, “Thank-you. I owe you for this. For a lot.”

  “You’re welcome,” I say. “But…you don’t owe me anything. Let’s call it even now, okay? All debts are paid.”

  She nods solemnly, then smiles. “I’m gonna have a grandmother, Robbie! A real, honest-to-God Gramma!”

  Monday morning, first thing, we go online and start looking. We find her a lawyer in D.C., a guy named Greenbaum. Young guy, knows everyone in town, including Tanner and Valeriss’ father.

  She talks to him competently enough, asking the right questions, and then, out of nowhere, she calls him Greenie. I’m ready to wince but somehow, he’s fine with it. That’s what she calls him from then on.

  They end up hitting it off, talking for over an hour. I hover, getting the gist of it from her end of the conversation.

  He seems to explain everything patiently. Tanner told her that among the paperwork waiting for her at home is a death certificate that she needs to take to the bank. Greenie explains that, once the bank has that document, the account will be turned over to her. Probate will begin, and her father’s estate and affairs will be settled. Eventually.

  End of story.

  She’ll have her new buddy Greenie to help her sort it all out.

  By the time she’s done, she looks better. Brighter, happier, like a big weight’s off her shoulders. As soon as she gets home tomorrow, she’s to text Greenie if she needs anything.

  “So…looks like this’ll be our last night together, Robbie.”

  “Yep.”

  “You won’t be sad to see me go.”

  “Nope.” We both chuckle. “I won’t. I need to get on with my life and so do you. We can stay in touch––once in a while––but, you need other friends. Other people to support you in life.”

  “Yes. I know. I wish we could’ve had some fun while I was here. Something better to remember when I’m gone.”

  “Yeah. But, I guess it wasn’t all bad. You’re certainly in better shape now than you were when you first arrived. Say…how about we go out for dinner tonight? Me, you and Brenda. You can tell her how all the legal stuff went when you see her.”

  “Yeah! That’ll be nice.”

  That evening, Val and I pick Brenda up and head towards the arts district downtown. We’re going to a fancy new restaurant to see Valeriss off. We dress up some, me in a nice pair of khakis and dress shirt, and Brenda in a demure but sexy, figure-hugging wool dress.

  Valeriss is wearing a sixties retro-chic outfit, featuring wide, flow-y pants with a big floral pattern, a white peasant blouse with frilly neckline and sleeves, and her hat with the big, floppy brim.

  There’s lots of time during the drive for Valeriss to bring Brenda u
p to speed on all her news. Traffic is terrible, even for a Monday night. Sitting in stop-and-go in city traffic, I’m regretting the idea to come down here for dinner.

  “Hey…what’s that place? Do they serve food in there?” Valeriss says, from her spot in the back seat.

  “Which place?” Brenda says.

  “I can’t quite make out the name of it…across the street there, the place with the skulls and hearts in the window.”

  “Oh, the Dirty Gurrl Tavern? They probably have bar food. I don’t know how good it is. Lots of live entertainment there. Theme nights, that kind of thing.”

  “Really? I wonder if anything’s going on tonight,” Val says.

  “I think Mondays are karaoke night,” Brenda says.

  “Oooh! Really? Can we go there instead, Robbie? Please?”

  “I…shit, I dunno. Brenda? You want to listen to karaoke tonight?”

  “Alright. As long as no-one expects me to perform. You gonna sing, Val?”

  “Yes! Yes I will! I haven’t done this for ages! Daddy doesn’t…he didn’t like me to sing.”

  “He didn’t?” Brenda says. “No offense, but why on earth not?”

  “Reminds him too much of my mother,” Valeriss says.

  Brenda and I look at each other.

  “Okay,” I say. “At least we’ll be out of this traffic.”

  Inside the bar is a surprisingly respectable crowd. We get a small table and order chicken quesadillas. Service is a bit slow, but when the food comes it’s hot, fresh and delicious.

  As we eat, the lights go down and a woman wearing a cowgirl outfit takes the stage. She warms up the crowd and ends with a karaoke song, then introduces one of the regulars.

  It’s an older guy, who sings a few Sinatra tunes. He’s good.

  “Not bad, not bad,” Valeriss mutters, chewing her food thoughtfully.

  We sit through a few more performers, and then Brenda and I start good-naturedly bugging Valeriss to take a turn.

  “Okay, okay, let me go see what songs they have.” She gets up and disappears into the crowd.

  As soon as she’s out of earshot, Brenda says, “Can she actually sing?”

  I laugh and scoot my chair closer to hers, sliding my hand along her shoulders and down her back. “Oh, she can sing,” I say. “You said you like the oldie-moldies? She sings some really old stuff. You’ll see.”

  Now that we’re alone at the table, I let my eyes feast on Brenda, on her foxy face and her lovely body, hidden yet showcased in her tight dress. My hand caresses her hip, dipping down to squeeze her ass where no one can see.

  I smile, catching her eye to make sure she sees how I’m admiring her, then I lean in to steal a kiss.

  The server comes by to clear our food plates away but I stay close to my girl, holding her hand and letting one of my legs touch hers.

  We sit sipping our drinks. As usual, I can’t stop touching her, kissing her hand and nuzzling her head when no-one’s looking,

  A big woman takes the stage and does an energetic rendition of Pink’s Get the Party Started, followed by Me and You, a love ballad. She does it well, and by the time she’s done, Brenda has her head leaning against my shoulder and I’m wishing I had her home in my bed.

  A few more singers take the stage, and Brenda and I start wondering whether Valeriss has chickened out.

  Then, the spotlight on the stage goes out. The background noise in the bar dies down as people look to the stage, waiting to see what’s up.

  Someone comes out and stands in the dark. A moment goes by, then another. A few bars of a rough and down-home guitar intro sounds, it’s familiar but I can’t quite place it….then, boom, the spotlight hits centre stage, illuminating a diminutive figure in a floppy hat and hippy clothes.

  It’s Valeriss, of course, who has somehow gotten hold of an enormous pair of white-framed retro sunglasses, complementing her outfit perfectly.

  She looks exactly like she just stepped out of the sixties.

  The crowd applauds politely. The guitar intro turns into the opening bars of Janis Joplin’s Me and Bobby McGee.

  The crowd goes silent, listening to Valeriss sing those familiar words, those first, quietly-sung words about being broke and on the road, and hitchhiking in the rain.

  Her voice is good. Really good. That little-girl tinkle disappears when she sings, giving way to a soaring, mature and rough-edged vocal that sounds like it really could belong to a vagabond girl living rough.

  When she hits the chorus, Valeriss’ voice takes on an eerie similarity to Joplin’s yet surpasses it in depth and strength. It’s magnificent, moving and emotional.

  The crowd goes wild!

  Rough and edgy yet full of a kind of crazed joy, her voice responds to the encouraging crowd and just…soars…taking us all along on the ride. We sing with her, belting out the familiar words as they roll along the karaoke display screen.

  Brenda grips my arm excitedly, smiling with delight. “She’s fantastic!” she yells into my ear. We laugh and clutch at each other, watching as the crowd pours love on to my poor-little-rich girl ex-wife.

  Valeriss follows up with Another Piece of My Heart and Kozmic Blues, then she sings some standard karaoke tunes, like Summertime, Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay, and You Really Got Me Now, each song drawing wild applause.

  For her final song, Valeriss takes off her sunglasses and sings When A Man Loves A Woman, moving to stand by our table, spotlight following, and singing it directly to Brenda and me.

  She finishes to thunderous applause, bowing and laughing. She covers her mouth with a frilly sleeve, and holds the mic to her chest with the other, trying to catch her breath. She raises the microphone and says, in her little-girl voice, “I almost lost my nerve to do this…but you guys all helped me so much! Thank you, thank you so much, thank you!”

  Brenda and I share a glance, and also, the dawning realization of just how much natural talent––and plain old ham-bone–– Valeriss possesses.

  In the Jeep on the way home, Brenda and Valeriss talk excitedly about the evening, with Brenda urging Valeriss to continue to develop herself as a performer, even perhaps finding a back up band and getting herself on the show circuit back home in D.C..

  We drop Brenda off at her place. Her good-bye with Valeriss is surprisingly poignant and emotional. They promise to friend each other on Facebook and stay in touch.

  I watch Brenda walk up the driveway into the house and think about having her over tomorrow night, maybe. And the night after that.

  And the one after that, and so on.

  All I can think about is having Brenda in my bed, in my house, and in my life, every night and every day, forever.

  Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for Valeriss, happy that she’s found a maybe-direction for her life.

  But most of all, I’m happy that she’s leaving so I can bring my girl as far into my own life as she’s willing to come.

  Chapter Twenty

  Brenda

  Tuesday morning, right before work, I get a text from Rob:

  Rob: She’s gone. I put her and Meff in her car ten minutes ago and she headed out. Cross your fingers!

  Me: How was she? Okay? Scared?

  Rob: Scared but okay. She’ll be fine. I told her to text me when she gets home.

  Me: Alright. Fingers crossed. Have a good day at work sweetie.

  Rob: You too. What time should I expect you tonight?

  Me: LOL

  Rob: I’m serious. I want to see you tonight.

  I have to think about this. I want Rob to have some time to himself, to process and relax.

  And, I want to spend some time with my parents.

  Plus, truth be told, I want us both to have some time to miss each other, too.

  Me: My parents are only in town for another few days, then they’re going back to Florida until further notice. Can I let you know?

  Rob: Yeah. I guess. I miss you baby. I want you in my arms.

  Oh, God! And I
want to be in his arms. I swing back and forth for a few minutes, but then… no. Anticipation is incredibly erotic too, and I want to make our next meeting as hot as I possibly can.

  Me: Mmmm, you make it hard to say no.

  Rob: Don’t, then. Come over tonight.

  Me We’ll see, k? *kiss*

  Rob: Tease.

  Later than evening, after work:

  Rob: Val texted me. She made it home. Her new lawyer’s meeting her tomorrow first thing.

  Me: Awesome!

  Rob: Now, for the important stuff: What time are you coming over?

  Me: I’m not, sweetie. But I’ll take a rain check for Friday.

  Rob: Damn. You’re a tough customer. Is there nothing I can say to change your mind?

  Me: I’m afraid not. Not tonight.

  Rob: Alright. Friday it is. Why don’t you bring that item we talked about along with you?

  Me: Item?

  Rob: That lipstick item you have. Remember?

  Oh! He’s talking about my lipstick vibrator. The thought makes me breath just a tiny bit faster.

  Me: It’s a date. Me, you and a sex toy. LOL!

  Rob: Grawr! Can’t wait.

  Friday can’t come soon enough.

  We talk on the phone Wednesday and Thursday, but Rob hasn’t heard anything from Valeriss. We both choose to view this as a good sign.

  Friday, Rob texts me a kiss emoticon in the morning. He follows that up with a tongue emoji around lunch time, making me laugh and think dirty thoughts at the same time.

  After work, I pack a bag for the weekend, and talk to my parents for a moment before I leave. They’re heading back to Florida next week. Diesel, who’s rapidly becoming my Dad’s dog, will be going with them.

  As soon as Dad mentions this, I text Nick a note informing him that he lost our bet and reminding him that he now owes me fifty bucks.

  I wait a few minutes, and my Dad’s phone rings. He picks up, and says “Hey son.” Yep it’s Nick, calling to “innocently” shoot the shit. Hah!

  After some small talk, I hear my Dad saying how much he likes Diesel and that he hopes the dog likes swimming because they’ll be taking a lot of walks on the beach!