Choice of the Gallant_Paradox Equation I

by Sharon L Reddy

  "He's right, Lane. The pay is high because so few live to collect it."

  "I know, Clete, but we need the credit."

  "There's more to it than that. I can feel it."

  "That's the problem with having an empath around. All right. It's iffy. I've got multiple images of the future. The packets and passenger we carry could end that war. If we get through. Getting through will depend on the shields. Ending the war will depend on you."

  "Uh, oh, Clete, I think you're in trouble. Even I could feel the worry in that statement."

  "Yes. Let's get to work on the shields. We'll need them to present ourselves for employment."

  "Lane, you haven't told me what I'm supposed to do yet. You dread telling me. I'm not moving til I know."

  "Dutch, get started. We'll be with you in a few minutes."

  "Now, wait a minute!"

  "Dutch, if he doesn't kill me, we'll be there."

  "Oh. All right. Clete, remember, he knows how it turns out. He can't help it. Count to ten thousand. I don't think ten will be enough."

  ****

  Dutch walked onto the bridge and knew he hadn't changed things yet because Lane was expecting him. He still intended to make one though.

  "Lane, I've had it. It's like a polar zone between you two. I can't function in this atmosphere. I'm freezing. I can't stay out of it any longer. I want to know what's going on."

  "Dutch, it'll work out. It's necessary. He'll get through it. It's going to be rough. Be there when he needs you. He'll even forgive me someday."

  "Some explanation. Dammit, Lane, I want more!"

  "I asked him, no, told him to do something that goes against every instinct he has. Everything he is. I'm counting on him to finish the job right. If he does, the war will end. If he can't do it, it's going to pull more systems in, then the Empire, then the Federation."

  "It's why you pulled us out. You saw it coming."

  "Yes. I stalled it. I rescued the young man piloting the experimental ship that would have been the trigger. Even after he engaged the self-destruct, there would have been enough left to... I hoped that would be it, but it wasn't. There's only one image that leads out of interstellar warfare. It depends on Clete making a woman who fears him love him. Love him so much she'll do anything for him. Love him enough to live for him."

  "I'll get back to work. I'll be there, Lane, but you be there too. He won't get through it without you. You understand. I can only care."

  "He won't want me. I don't remember being there."

  "Good. I'm making this change. Same way I helped make the first one when you thought you were going bye-bye."

  Lane stared at him with his mouth open.

  "Dad didn't need much, Lane. Just a reminder you'd already lived with the pain long enough."

  "Dutch, you're amazing."

  "Yeah. And cute too."

  ****

  Clete raised an eyebrow at Lane, but he just smiled. He hoped he was right. Dutch was getting very irritated with the Chair of the Planetary Assembly.

  "I think the fact we're here is reference enough! If we couldn't get through the blockade, we'd be space dust!"

  "Dutch, calm down. I don't think the chairman meant it quite that way. He doesn't know who we are. It's a little hard to trust strangers who drop in and say, 'Give us your secrets to carry,' in the middle of a war."

  "You're right, Lane. Being a fleet officer spoiled me. I got used to people knowing I was loyal, dependable, trustworthy, and well-trained as soon as they saw the uniform."

  "You were a Federation Fleet officer?"

  "We all were, Gen. Lane decided you needed help, then he decided we should help too. We're here. Now let us help."

  "I shall make arrangements for you to begin immediately. Please, accept our hospitality. Quarters will be assigned until we have a mission for you."

  "Thank you, Gen."

  As soon as they left the council hall, Lane started to laugh. Dutch grinned.

  "Nothing like telling an old lady you're a Boy Scout to convince her to let you carry her packages. Now, let's find where they keep the pretty ladies on this world."

  Clete burst into laughter too. Dutch thought it sounded wonderful and his grin widened. He left them leaning against a wall laughing. They'd catch up.

  ****

  Lane warned Dutch another hit was coming. He just couldn't dodge them all.

  "Shields full."

  "Eighty percent max!"

  Lissa rocked with the force of the blast, but Lane got her steadied fast. They had a long way to go and he was trying to make a change. But he couldn't find one that didn't lead to a sudden end of the path.

  "Make that sixty. Lane, we've got to shoot back. Clete, take over ops. I'll take the gun. Give it to me on manual, Lane."

  "I don't-- Damn! He's already gone."

  "He's right, Lane. Incoming. Aft shield down. Compensating. We're at thirty-two percent. We don't get that fighter off our tail, we've-- Shields off! Go, Dutch! YES! Shields up. We've got another one. Not anymore. Damn! I hope he knows what he's doing. Evasive, Lane! Dutch, routine A on three, two, one... NOW!"

  The little ship had never fired back before. She'd run the blockade time after time and never fired a shot. This time they'd been waiting. The admiral had decided to take her out. Half a fleet could have gotten through the holes left in the blockade. He'd sent every ship with any kind of a chance at catching her after her.

  Half a fleet did get through. A fleet of cargo ships. The desperately needed supply ships opened a hole a little wider and sped through it toward the planet. The little ship had done her job and the admiral had lost his. She'd also reduced the strength of the blockade by eighteen ships.

  "Nice work, Dutch."

  "Thanks, Clete. Aren't you going to say anything, Lane?"

  "Do you really want me to say it?! I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. You're right. We wouldn't have made it without the gun. I was hoping for a change. I guess... I was just hoping we could avoid killing anyone."

  "So was I. Lane, we had to do it. The people on the planet need those medical supplies desperately. For every life lost up here, a thousand will be saved on Amarri. If it had been weapons they were trying to get through, I'd have told them to stuff it. Nice piloting."

  "Ahem."

  "Yeah, Clete, I know. You're the one who made us practice until every zig and zag was perfect. Worked too. I knew exactly where I'd be after every maneuver. Now, how long til touchdown? I've got dates and I need a bath."

  "Twins again, Dutch?"

  "Nope. Triplets."

  "I don't suppose you'd want to share."

  "Clete, you've got to be kidding!"

  "I am. Touchdown in twelve minutes."

  Laire wasn't extremely young, but she was young to have been given the task of seeking the one ally the assembly was sure would end the war. She was pleased they thought her the right choice and didn't disagree with the assembly on that point, but she really wished there was another world that offered as much hope of it. She put aside her irritation at that and worked on the proposal. Then her office door opened and her level of irritation went up another notch.

  She didn't like being interrupted and didn't want her office cleaned, but it was fourday, the time scheduled for her lunch and Missa had a schedule too. She almost wished she did want lunch. Missa's mother and hers were old friends and she'd known her since she was a child.

  "You're so lucky, Laire. A tenday with the three of them."

  "I'm not looking forward to it."

  "What?! You're about to spend ten days with three beautiful, blond, eligible men and you're not looking forward to it?"

  "Unlike you, Missa, I have other things on my mind. They're just three young hotshots. I'm not particularly interested."

  "Those 'hotshots' are the most brilliant, talented, gorgeous hunks of pure male ever to hit this planet. Curly hair and gray eyes and voices that make your heart thump. Especially the little one."

  "Missa, o
ne hundred eighty-five centimeters is not little."

  "See what I mean? Even you've noticed them. But you're right, Dutch only looks little when he's standing next to Clete. Kerith asked Dutch how tall he was. He said they're 'stair steps,' exactly five centimeters difference. Lane in the middle at one ninety. How'd you know how tall Dutch was?"

  "Those three young men have been the predominant topic of conversation since they landed here. If anyone had gotten them on a scale, I'd have overheard their weights too! I'm sorry, Missa. I'm just bored with the subject."

  "All work. Laire, you worry me. You're either in conference or up to your ears in communiqués. You don't go anywhere but department social functions and you don't really socialize at them. Just work, work, work."

  "We're at war. I have a job to do. Now, if you've finished stirring up dust on the pretext of cleaning my office, I'll get back to it. I'm not looking forward to it, but I must take an offer of alliance to Bernis, another bunch of swaggering males."

  Dutch sat down on the bridge and shook his head. Their passenger was not the friendly sort.

  "She's an iceberg. Brr. Like a marble statue. Beautiful, but no feeling."

  "That's the problem, Dutch. The feeling's there, but she's got it locked up. She'll never reach the bernisi. She's got everything they respect buried. She can't stop this war the way she is."

  "Lane, I'm glad I'm not Clete. I get frostbite when I talk to her. She's an iron maiden, smooth metal outside and sharp knives within."

  "Yes, and I've told Clete to step in and pull the door closed. They're going to cut each other apart, but Clete will bleed and bandage her wounds."

  "She's broken and you told him to fix her."

  "Violently."

  "Oh, shit."

  Lane counted lives that wouldn't be lost and ached while he fixed the dinner tray. Clete, of course, felt it and was hovering right outside the galley when he finished it.

  "Take this to her."

  "Lane, she's revolted by me. Afraid of me. I can handle the revulsion, the fear--"

  "Clete, it's not you she's afraid of. It's herself. She's convinced herself she's made of stone. She's afraid of a crack. If Bernis allies with Amarri, the war will end instantly. The Fed or the Empire might win a war with the bernisi, but no one else would and everyone knows it. Her job is to convince the chief lord Amarri is worthy to be an ally and there's only one way to do that. She must 'burn with the fire of the hills.' Can she succeed the way she is?"

  "No. Give me her dinner. Wine and two glasses. Isn't that a bit obvious?"

  "Yes."

  "Thanks."

  Clete knew Lane was right. He reminded himself the ambassador really did want to end the war and would have given her life to accomplish it, was giving it to accomplish it, steeled himself against her feelings and knocked.

  "Ambassador Kardina, I brought your dinner."

  "Leave it outside."

  "Not this time. This time you eat. You're not going to forget another meal. Open, or I'll let myself in."

  "Oh, all right."

  She opened the door and looked up at him. He could feel her fear. He almost handed her the tray and ran. He didn't. He poured two glasses of wine and handed one to her.

  "Now, I'm going to sit here while you eat. You want to get rid of me? Eat your dinner."

  "I'm in the middle of some trade figures. I'll eat when I'm done with them."

  "I'll wait."

  He watched her work. She was a dark-haired beauty. Fortyish and richly feminine, very young to carry the hopes of her world and she knew it. He pushed the wine a bit closer to her hand and smiled when she absently picked it up and drank some. He took a few sips of his.

  Who had made this beautiful woman fear love? Why had she locked her passions away? He pulled her glass toward him and refilled it. She lifted it and drank, then reached up and rubbed her neck. He stood and stepped behind her.

  "Easy, let me rub the knots out. SIT STILL!"

  He realized he was trembling. The fragrance of her was making him dizzy. He ignored her fear. He'd felt it rise after her pleasure in his touch. It was the order in which they came that gave him hope he could help her and her world. He slipped his thumbs under her collar and massaged the tight cords of fatigued muscle. He felt her pleasure then her terror, again in that order, but the terror was overwhelming his determination. If this was going to be, it must be now. She felt the change in him and stood.

  He loosed his powers and reached for her. He opened her emotions and crashed through her barriers. He felt her terror as her walls crashed down and it excited him, aroused him. And he hated himself for it. He destroyed the ice statue she'd created outside and found fire within. He freed himself from his own barriers and fueled it with his own.

  He'd never done it before. In that instant, he knew he too had feared the passion within, just as she had. Lane had chosen this way to free them both. He forgave him and lost himself in the fire of the woman in his arms.

  Dutch and Lane were in the galley when Clete became fire.

  "Lane!"

  "Hang on, Dutch! Take my hand. We'll ride this storm. We knew it was coming. We've known what he was since we were sixteen. Remember how it was. Dad was careful, but we knew. When we all joined minds, we knew what Clete was."

  "Yeah, but like you always say, reality is much more intense than remembering."

  "Now it's your turn. We won't get through this unless you shield us. He'll burn us out. You're the only one who can stop that from happening."

  "Lane, I don't know how!"

  "It's not knowing. It's being. Be who you are!"

  Dutch found his barriers. He hadn't known they were there. He set his power free. He met Lane's mind with his and set him free too. Lane hadn't known he was barriered either. He'd seen his brothers', but not his own. They joined with Clete and felt him surge into completeness. Passion, intellect and power blended. Something more than the sum of its parts blazed into existence. Dutch laughed with delight in their minds.

  Laire traced Clete's smile with a fingertip. He'd healed her and she hadn't known she was injured, but the smile was gently ironic and she was rather sure she hadn't been the only one healed.

  "What are you?"

  "I'm not sure, Laire. Half human, half something more. Our father isn't from this universe. You got caught in, no, caused the breakthrough. You freed me. Freed us all. You're very special. Now I know why you walled yourself away. No one you'd met ever responded. They were half-passioned. Involved only with their bodies."

  "Yes! I didn't know why. There was something wrong with me. I wanted more, more than they had. I loved a man deeply. He left me. He feared me."

  "Laire, you burn with the fire of the hills."

  "Clete, that's not fair!"

  "No, but it's real. You mustn't hide what you are. Must be who you are. It's the only way to win them and end the horror of war on your world and you want that more than anything else."

  "Show me, Clete. Show me how to be who I am."

  Bernis, the home of the oldest species and civilization humans had ever found, was an odd world. It had a cycle of geologic upheaval that shouldn't have been stable, but was. It was also completely predictable. The bernisi had adapted to it and that adaptation was nearly as odd as the cycle. Many studies of both had been done by scholars in the Fed, but they'd found no answers. The bernisi had been tolerant of the studies, but not surprised by the outcome.

  The bernisi had been the first species humans had contacted that looked human and a real shock. They'd told them there were thousands upon thousands, but they'd never learned why either. They hadn't given humans a great deal more information about the galaxy. They'd stopped exploring a very long time before, if they ever had, but they did tell them a bit about other peoples they'd find nearby and that they'd been anticipating meeting them for a long time. They liked the Fed.

  Laire went over everything she knew about the bernisi one more time, as she faced the entry to the Hall of Lords
. She smiled when she thought of how her view of that knowledge had changed over the last few days.

  "Back me up, boys."

  "Such a beautiful back."

  "Dutch, you're incorrigible."

  "No, but very encourageable."

  "Clete, help me keep myself open. Don't let me get lost in trade figures and treaty negotiations."

  "You won't. Bank the fires. We'll be standing at your back. Feel us there. Feel me there."

  "How do I look?"

  "Ravishing."

  Lane grinned at her. She was surprised. She hadn't expected him to say it.

  "Clete, doesn't have all the passion, Laire, just the power. Frankly, you knock my socks off."

  She laughed in delight at the very old phrase and took Clete's arm; beautiful lady in black, escorted by the warriors in white. Dutch winked at Lane and pulled their minds together. They became fire.

  The warriors at the door dropped back instinctively. Dutch and Lane hit the huge iron doors and they crashed open. The Warrior Lords stirred. They growled low in their throats. These were men and the woman burned. She won them in that moment. They were hers. The Chief Lord knelt before her.

  "Lady, the warriors of Bernis will aid in your world's battle. Command us. We serve your fire."

  The warriors roared their approval. Laire stretched out her arms and exulted in her triumph.

  They returned to Amarri with an escort of bernisi ships. They had no difficulty getting through. The blockade dissolved around them. Tar a'Reth h'Mun, the chief lord, contacted Lissa and drily noted his computer had asked for assistance with the code the blockade fleet used. It just couldn't find a key to unencrypt the yelps on their comm channel. Laire was still giggling when they landed.

  Three days later, Lane dropped in the middle of the hall in the building that housed the Planetary Assembly. Clete moved people out of his way and Dutch went through the ones in his. They knew what was wrong. The war was over and the future was changing.

  "No! Don't call med! Let us take care of him. Clete, clear this hall. I'm going in. It's bad."

  "I can feel it. Do it fast or I'll be down there with him. OUT! Everyone out! NOW! MOVE! CLEAR THIS CORRIDOR!"

  The guards on the assembly chamber door looked at each other, then Clete, and went inside the chamber. If Clete wanted the corridor clear, they weren't going to argue. One person came out of the chamber, Laire.