Soul to Shepherd

by Linda Lamberson

  “Evie,” he sighed, his eyes still focused on mine. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being with you it’s that every time you say ‘It’s nothing,’ it’s time for me to start worrying.”

  I chuckled. “Well, you don’t have to worry about this ‘It’s nothing.’”

  Quinn looked unconvinced.

  “Fine,” I huffed. “It’s just—I don’t know. It seems like there’s something a little different about you.”

  “‘Different’?”

  “Yeah.” I grinned. “Not bad different, just … different.” With our eyes still locked, I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him softly, allowing my lips to linger lightly on his for a moment before pulling back, but Quinn wasn’t about to let me go.

  “Hopefully, not that different.” He drew me back into him and kissed me passionately. My lips blazed as they made contact with his, and I threw my arms around his neck and returned his kiss with equal intensity.

  “Not really that different at all,” I whispered against his lips. My hands ran down the length of his back to his waist, and as I pulled his hips into me, I kissed him again. His muscles reacted to my every caress, my every move, and I couldn’t help but groan softly as I remembered all the times I’d evoked this reaction from his body. I was driving myself insane with need, and I knew I was going to lose control soon.

  “Quinn,” I begged in between kisses as I ran my fingers across the small of his back and slipped them beneath the waistband of his shorts. Knowing what I wanted, what he wanted, he kissed me more urgently and ran his hands down my sides to the waistband of my jeans.

  “Hold up,” he murmured, pulling away from my kiss. He gently grabbed my hands and took a step back from me. My body automatically leaned towards his, protesting the distance he put between us. “I have a surprise for you.”

  “Now?” I whined.

  “Yes, now,” he replied, smiling. He was enjoying teasing me. “In fact, there couldn’t be a more perfect time.”

  “Oh really?” Frustrated, I cocked an eyebrow, wondering what he had planned.

  Quinn nodded and began walking backwards, tugging me along with him, stopping to the right of the waterfall behind a tall, thick hedge to the opening of a cave I’d never noticed before.

  “When did you find this?” I asked in surprise.

  “Actually, Dylan found it. Can you believe it? All the time we spent up here, and we never knew this existed.”

  “Well, exploring this portal was never exactly a big priority for us.” I winked as I caressed his bare chest with my fingers, moving down to his stomach.

  “Yeah, we were too busy exploring each other.” He grinned wickedly.

  “That was pretty cheesy—even for you.” I chuckled and shook my head.

  Quinn just laughed, but he caught me off guard by grabbing my hands before they wandered any farther south.

  I shot him a look that said: “Really? You actually want to wait?”

  “Wait until you see it from the inside,” he noted enthusiastically.

  “Can’t we explore it later?”

  He shook his head.

  I guess you do want to wait. I frowned. “I hate delayed gratification,” I harrumphed under my breath, but still loud enough for Quinn to hear me, making him chuckle again.

  “C’mon, this place is pretty cool. It’s big—and very private.” He winked and led me deeper inside the cavern. With each step, the daylight grew dimmer, and I noticed flickering lights casting shadows against the back of the cave. When we rounded the corner, I discovered lit candles of all shapes and sizes everywhere, illuminating the mineral-rich walls and making the air warm and balmy.

  “When? … How?” My words came stumbling out of my mouth.

  Quinn smiled. “I guess you could say I’ve had some time on my hands to prepare for your arrival.”

  “It’s amazing,” I said in awe. In the center of the large, cavernous room was Quinn’s bed from his apartment in Bloomington. “How did you get that up here?”

  “Dylan. He suggested I bring it up here … for when you came back.” Quinn smirked.

  “That was rather optimistic of him.”

  “He didn’t seem to think so.” Quinn shrugged. “Dylan told me things were happening pretty quickly up there.”

  “He did, huh? And just how did he know that?” If Dylan had some inside information, he never told me.

  “He didn’t say, and I knew better than to ask.”

  I nodded once to let him know I understood and then explored the rock-enclosed haven, running my fingers along the traces of quartz and other minerals embedded in the cavern walls, which sparkled in the candlelight. There were a few well-read paperbacks, some magazines, and a couple of folded-up maps stacked next to the bed along with a spelunking headlamp. Quinn’s trusty old duffel bag, which was crammed with balled-up clothes, was on the ground nearby.

  “So, this is where you’ve been coming while I’ve been away?”

  “Sometimes.” He shrugged again. “I like to come up here whenever I want to get away for a couple of days. Dylan’s taken me to a few other places, too.”

  “Yeah, I bet.” My mind instantly pictured the Manhattan penthouse. Ugh.

  “Some new places,” Quinn quickly added, realizing where my thoughts had wandered, “which I will tell you all about later.” He led me to the side of the bed and then cupped my face with both of his hands and stared into my eyes. Even though I’d kissed him a thousand times before, even though I’d just kissed him moments ago, the nervous, exhilarating anticipation of a first kiss welled up inside me.

  “I missed you,” Quinn said softly.

  “I missed you, too.” I wanted to tell him that his eyes were unwittingly revealing the depth of his feelings for me, but I wanted him so badly I couldn’t find the words.

  “I never doubted you would come back to me,” he whispered, caressing my hair. “Not for a second.”

  “All I wanted was to be with you.” Before I could utter another word, he kissed me. I closed my eyes and reveled in the tingling sensation that swept through me, drinking in every moment. I opened my eyes and looked back into his. “I love you.”

  “And I love you.” Quinn kissed my cheek, my jaw, making his way down to the nape of my neck.

  My soul radiated with joy and pleasure just being in his arms. My mind buzzed happily, knowing he never gave up on us. And my body was being consumed by my need for him as his lips grazed my skin. I could no longer contain what I was feeling—of what I so desperately wanted to feel. I wanted to feel his skin against mine, his hands on my body, his mouth on mine. I couldn’t deny myself for another second. I pulled my t-shirt up over my head and dropped it, knowing it would disappear before ever reaching the ground. I pressed my bare chest up against his and kissed him even more urgently. I could feel his heart beating through his chest, I could feel its rhythm inside my own, but we still weren’t close enough. It was like my body yearned for his touch, craved it. I needed more of him—all of him.

  I worked feverishly to remove Quinn’s shorts while his fingers raced to remove my jeans. As soon as I felt his entire body against mine, I wanted to surrender to him right then and there. I showered him with all of the kisses I’d wanted to give him while we were separated. I kissed his lips, his neck, his ears, and his chest as I reacquainted my hands with every inch of his body. He lifted me effortlessly off the ground, and as I wrapped my legs around his waist, I couldn’t help but smile.

  “What?” he asked hoarsely, matching my smile.

  “I’ve never wanted to be anywhere as much as I want to be here with you right now.”

  “Trust me, I know the feeling. It’s been too damn long since I’ve held you in my arms.” Quinn carried me over to the bed. I could feel his right hand slide up my back to support me as he lay me down, but when he reached my shoulder blade, his entire body froze.

  “What’s wrong?” I whispered, kissing his neck.

  Quinn stood back up and slowly
set me down on my feet. I could see the overwhelming concern pour into his eyes as he traced my shoulder blade with his fingers.

  Crap! I tensed up immediately. I’d been so wrapped up in being with Quinn I’d forgotten all about the nasty scars scattered across the upper half of my back.

  “Work hazard,” I offered lightheartedly despite my growing insecurity from his reaction.

  “What do you mean ‘work hazard’?” He obviously did not find my remark all that amusing. He spun me towards the candlelight so he could see the full extent of the damage.

  “Holy shit!” he gasped in horror and he ran his fingers over each of the four distinct, large bite marks now forever etched across my back. “These—they’re from—” Quinn was choking on his words as he realized how I got the scars. “What the hell did those bastards do to you?” he asked through gritted teeth as his hands trembled with anger.

  “To us,” I corrected him. I turned to face him. “Apparently, certain types of demons are capable of giving some pretty nasty love bites,” I joked weakly, forcing a smile even though there was nothing funny about just how close the Servants had come to finishing us off.

  “Evie—” Quinn took a step backwards and ran both of his hands through his hair. I could see the tears welling up in his eyes. The distance he’d just put between us scared me. What if the scars were a constant reminder of the traumatic attack? What if he could never look at me the same way again? What if every time he saw me he’d be reminded of someone he used to think was beautiful? Knots were forming one on top of the other in the pit of my stomach. Panic began to bubble up inside of me, and I tried my best to swallow back my own tears. I immediately shimmered into a pair of black underwear and a tank top.

  “Hey, please don’t,” he implored, tugging on the bottom of my tank top. “Please.”

  I closed my eyes, and morphed back out of my clothes. I held my breath and waited. I sensed Quinn slowly circle behind me. He gently swept my hair to one side and traced each scar with his fingers, making me shiver anxiously.

  “I’m so sorry,” Quinn whispered in my ear just before he kissed the scar just below my right shoulder so tenderly that tears immediately sprang into my eyes and ran down my cheeks. “I’ll never be able to thank you enough for saving my life that day.”

  I wanted to say something. I wanted to tell him that he didn’t need to thank me, that these scars were a small price to pay for saving his life, that I’d do anything to protect him even if it weren’t my job, but the painful knot in my throat blocked any words from coming out.

  “Evie.” He sighed loudly. “Every time I look at you, at these marks on your back, I’ll remember what you did for me.” He kissed the back of my neck and then gently brushed his lips against a different scar. I took a deep breath and swallowed hard, forcing down the knot in my throat.

  “Don’t sell yourself short,” I said hesitantly, still yet to be fully reassured that he didn’t view me as irreparably broken and ugly. “You insisted I hold on to you, remember? It’s not like you didn’t suffer the pain right along with me.”

  “I didn’t want to lose you.” He kissed another scar on my left shoulder blade. “I don’t ever want to lose you.”

  “So, you don’t—” My voice was trembling, and I exhaled loudly, trying to find the right words to say. “The scars … they don’t bother you?”

  “Evie, you’ve never been more beautiful.”

  I turned around and looked into Quinn’s eyes—the eyes that now gave away all his secrets.

  “You really mean that, don’t you?” I whispered.

  “With all my heart.” Quinn placed his hand on my chest, knowing I could feel his heart beating within me.

  Tears of relief welled up in my eyes. I threw my arms around him with such force I sent us both toppling down onto the bed behind him, making us laugh. I stared into the sapphire blue windows to his soul and was overwhelmed by how much I suddenly understood about him—about his feelings for me. He, too, seemed lost in my eyes. We kissed, and for a moment it felt like we were no longer two separate people. I sat up and looked at him. Even in the candlelight, I could see his aura was lighter, brighter in hue, reminding me of the kiss we’d shared months ago after vowing to love each other absolutely and forever.

  “Did you feel that?” I asked.

  “Feel what?” he asked in confusion.

  “It’s just—I know this is going to sound crazy, but I think our souls might have connected for a second when we just kissed.”

  “Are you sure you’re not mistaking our ‘souls’ for something else?” he teased and tried to kiss me again.

  I resisted him. “Quinn, I’m serious. There’s this energy about us—this bond. And there’s something about your eyes. It’s like I know how you’re feeling just by looking into them.”

  “If that’s so, then how am I feeling right now?” he challenged me.

  I accepted the test and looked into his smoldering eyes, now almost black with desire; it was so raw, so pure—so fierce.

  “Oh,” was all I could manage as a wave of lust and hunger crashed down on me, drowning me in my own desire for him. As if Quinn was capable of reading my mind, he flipped me over and rolled on top of me.

  “Welcome home, Evie.” He crushed his mouth against mine, and the world around me soon faded away completely. All that was left was Quinn.

  *

  I lay in bed, curled up in Quinn’s arms and watched the flame of a nearby candle as it flickered perilously on a wick, dancing like it was trying to escape the pool of hot wax collecting beneath it. I slowly exhaled and extinguished the flame, following the thin trail of smoke as it gracefully furled and twisted in the air, wafting up to the cave ceiling. The way the smoke dissipated reminded me of Ronald—and of Council Member Tara’s suggestion that I speak with him. I sighed heavily as the reality of Quinn’s and my predicament settled like a weight on my shoulders.

  “What are you thinking about?” Quinn asked as he wrapped a lock of my hair around his finger, only to release it and do it again.

  “Nothing fun,” I said soberly as I rolled over to face him.

  He traced my frown with his finger. “That good, huh?” He propped himself up on one elbow. “Care to share?”

  “I will.” I maneuvered myself on top of him. “But first, I was hoping we could extend my welcome home reception a little while longer.”

  Quinn exhaled loudly. I knew he was worried I was holding out on him.

  “Hey,” I began, “I haven’t forgotten we’re in this together. In fact, we are now officially a team.”

  “You and me—a team?” His derision cut through the air like a knife. “That’ll be the day.”

  “Well that day is here,” I announced. “I’m serious,” I added when Quinn looked at me like I was crazy. “My instructions are to work with you to figure out what’s going on and come up with a plan to keep you safe.”

  Quinn’s face remained expressionless, but I could see the satisfaction creeping into his eyes. He was now legitimately part of the loop, and he was privately gloating about it.

  “So, where were we?” I smiled as I traced my finger lightly down his chest.

  “You said something extending your welcome home?” He grinned just before kissing me.

  *

  After having taken a dip in the cold water, Quinn and I were soaking up the sun’s warmth near the water’s edge. He sat up, placed his forearms on the tops of his knees, and rested his chin on his bicep to look at me.

  “So, are you going to tell me what’s up?” he asked pointedly.

  “Where do you want me to start?” I asked hesitantly. After Quinn remembered me last winter, I’d promised him I’d never intentionally hide anything from him again. But when I made that pledge, I had no idea what the Servants had in store for him. I couldn’t just come out and tell him the Servants wanted to convert him into one of them. I knew Quinn, and he wouldn’t handle it well. This information would cloud his judgment, a
nd I needed him to remain clear-headed. I needed more time to figure out the best way to break the bad news to him.

  “How about with what happened after the attack a couple of months ago when you abandoned me in the soccer field?”

  Inside, I cringed at his characterization of my leaving him.

  “Well,” I began, sighing, “naturally, there was another Inquiry. Only this time, I think most everyone on the Council Tribunal was out for my blood.” I rolled my eyes.

  “So what happened?”

  “Ronald. He stepped in and saved the day—he and Tara, she’s the head of the Council Tribunal. Despite all the trouble I’ve caused, I’m beginning to believe she actually might be sympathetic to what I—to what we—have been going through. She seemed to understand why I broke the Rules, again.

  “So,” I continued, “I ended up with a slap on the wrist and a forced hiatus in my realm. I hated being up there, being unable to see or talk to you, but at least it gave me time to heal.”

  “How did your wounds heal? Did—was it Peter?” I heard the tinge of jealously in Quinn’s voice. I knew Quinn still had a difficult time accepting he could never save me the way Peter had the night I healed Quinn’s baby niece, Mary.

  “Yes, he and two other Shepherds, Teddy and Eli, made some sort of salve.” I wrinkled up my nose. “Rank, nasty stuff, but it did the trick—well, mostly.” I instinctively reached around with my right hand and felt one of the scars on my left shoulder blade.

  “Anyway,” I continued, shaking my head slightly to clear it of images of my marred back. “When you got flagged again, I got reassigned to your case. Only this time, I was told to work with you.” I smiled, leaned over, and gave him a quick kiss.

  “Why let us work together all the sudden?” he asked suspiciously.

  “The way I understand it, there’s a certain energy that comes from our connection as true soul mates, and that energy allows each of us to physically grow more powerful—like, amazingly powerful. The Council wants us to work together so the bond between our souls continues to develop and, as a result, so does our super strength.”