Soul to Shepherd

by Linda Lamberson

  “And what about Brady? Is it too late for him?”

  “I don’t know. But I promise I’ll do everything I can to find out.”

  Quinn smiled at me—that beautiful, heart-stopping smile. That’s when I noticed it—my heart had stopped beating. I gasped at how hollow my chest suddenly felt. I’d forgotten that this was part of the package deal. Only Shepherds can feel the heartbeats of their assigned charges—and Quinn was no longer technically mine.

  “What is it?” Quinn asked in alarm.

  “My heart—your heart—I can’t feel it anymore. It’s gone.”

  “Evie, it’s right here.” He took my hand and placed it over his chest.

  “But it’s not here.” I placed my other hand over my chest. “Not anymore,” I said sadly. “It’s official. I’m no longer your Shepherd.” My chest heaved upon feeling the unexpected vacancy within. It was a different kind of emptiness from what I’d experienced up in the Archives. This time it was my choice to give up the familiar, comforting rhythm of my true soul mate reverberating inside me.

  “Dylan,” I muttered, choking on the words forming in the base of my throat. “Only he can feel your heart beating now.”

  “Dylan?” Quinn visibly shuddered at the thought. “That’s messed up and twisted on so many levels.”

  “I know it may seem that way to you right now, but as your Shepherd, Dylan has to be able to know where you are and how you’re doing.”

  “And you? You don’t need to know those things anymore?”

  “I do, but I’m not your Shepherd anymore.” Fear stirred within me as I clutched my chest with both hands. “Crap. How am I supposed to protect you if I can’t even find you anymore?” I was on the verge of hyperventilating as I second-guessed my decision. “Quinn, I think I screwed up. I—I didn’t think the whole thing through.” I gasped. “I didn’t realize I’d be giving up the one thing that connects you to me.”

  “It’s not the one thing, Evie. It’s just a thing.” He cupped my face with his hands and looked into my eyes. “Hey, you may not be able to feel my heart beating anymore, but you still have it, and it’s yours to keep.” He wiped a tear from my eye. “We’re true soul mates, remember?”

  “Yeah, but your soul has never led me to you when I didn’t know where you were.”

  “Hasn’t it? How did you know I was up here? I mean, isn’t this place supposed to be some vacuum in time and space?”

  “Yeah, but that was different. In my mind, there weren’t that many places where you’d be.”

  “Still, wasn’t this the first place you checked?”

  “Actually, it was the third.”

  “The third? Wow! It took that long, huh?” he teased.

  “Thanks. Kick me while I’m down,” I mumbled, not wanting to bother getting into the reasons for the roundabout way I searched for him.

  “Evie, relax. I have the perfect solution to our little problem. All you need is a cell phone.” He smiled triumphantly at me.

  I laughed. The answer was so simple and yet it’d completely escaped me. I used to live on my cell phone when I was alive. “You know, if it weren’t for you, I probably would’ve tortured myself all day trying to come up with some supernatural way to keep track of you.”

  “Evie, when are you finally going to accept I’m here to help—that you need my help?”

  “Well, I definitely need your help with one thing.” I smiled seductively and kissed him as I pushed him down onto the grass and straddled him.

  “So you really can’t feel my pulse speeding up right now?”

  “No, not at all.”

  “That’s too bad.” He kissed me back but then moaned and pulled away.

  “What is it?” I asked in alarm.

  “Nothing, really.” He pulled me back down to kiss me again, but I resisted him.

  “Tell me.”

  “It’s just kind of twisted to think Dylan is running around with my pulse now.”

  “It’s not like he’s borrowing your toothbrush or underwear. Think of it like you’ve got your own personal ringtone on his cell phone.”

  “That does make it sound a little less disturbing,” he noted with approval. “Can he really feel it every time my heart rate accelerates?”

  “And every time it slows down,” I added. “As long as you’re both in the same realm.”

  “So if he should drop by up here right now …”

  “He’d know exactly what we were up to before he even saw us,” I said, completing Quinn’s thought.

  “Well, at least now he’ll always have a heads up.” Quinn smiled wickedly. “It’s better than hanging a towel outside the door.”

  “Ugh, only a guy would think like that.”

  *

  That night, Quinn filled me in on his friends and the details of what I’d missed the past two months. Apparently, Adam was keeping the apartment and one of his fraternity brothers took over Quinn’s lease. Adam was taking a couple summer school classes so he could graduate on time, while Lisa went home to work for the summer. She and Adam were on an “unofficial break,” which meant that they were still dating but could see other people since they were spending the summer apart. It was Lisa’s idea. She was going to Europe for a month with her family at the end of the summer, which, if I had to guess, was the impetus for their break. I’m sure she wanted to be free to guiltlessly flirt and hook up with whomever she wanted while abroad.

  Marlin and Jayden graduated and moved in together in Indianapolis. Marlin was working for some insurance company, while Jayden worked as a pharmaceutical rep.

  Coop and Rachel were still going strong. Coop also graduated, but chose to get his graduate degree in education at IU. If all went as planned, he’d graduate the same time Rachel finished undergrad.

  And Mark and Stewie were still up to their old tricks. They were sticking around Bloomington for the summer bartending, no doubt counting down the days until the new wave of freshman girls arrived on campus.

  As for Quinn, after the Incident in April, he’d holed himself up in the apartment and focused solely on his finals. The day exams were over, he packed up the Defender and took off for Chicago. At some point prior to leaving, he’d told his coach and friends he was going abroad for the first semester of next year and would have to quit the swim team.

  “When you left, and with everything that had happened—” He sighed. “Let’s just say I wasn’t in the mood to stick around Bloomington. So once the semester ended, I took off. I felt claustrophobic, like everyone was watching my every move, and I wanted to get away. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to feel lost, so I headed out west.”

  “Did it work?”

  Quinn chuckled. “Yeah, for about two days.” He ran his hand though his hair and looked at me. “No one can really run away, can they? I mean, you can never really escape who you are and what’s going on inside your head. I guess it’s true what they say—sometimes, you’re your own worst enemy.”

  “Yeah, I like to refer to that as College Boy’s ‘Dark Period,’” Dylan stated from behind me. He phased into view and dropped down on the grass beside us. “That’s when I realized our friend over here was in desperate need of my intervention.”

  “Whatever, man,” Quinn jumped in. “You weren’t even around then.”

  “Actually, I’d been keeping tabs on you ever since K.C. left. I just didn’t let you see me in the beginning.”

  “Why not?” Quinn asked.

  “Because I knew you’d ask about her and up until about a month ago, I didn’t have any answers for you—none that you wanted to hear anyway.”

  “Are you sure that’s the only reason you were keeping tabs on me?” Quinn asked curiously. “I want to hear more about this Watcher of mine.”

  “Yeah, so maybe my motives for hanging out with you were a little mixed once I saw her,” Dylan admitted.

  “So, what, you’re a one woman guy now?” I teased.

  “I guess so.” The tone of Dylan’s voice
and the look on his face made me think he’d just come to that realization.

  “Seriously?” Quinn asked in surprise.

  He sighed. “Let’s just say that it’s been a while since I visited the Manhattan penthouse, and I have no plans on going back anytime soon.”

  “Wow!” I exclaimed in complete shock. “Now I really want to meet her!”

  Dylan laughed. “You will. When the time is right.”

  *

  The next morning, Quinn and I left the portal to go to Chicago and buy me a cell phone. Afterwards, we stopped by Quinn’s old West Loop neighborhood so he could grab a quick bite. We’d hoped to run into Ronald, but not surprisingly he was nowhere to be found. Before heading back to the Falls, we took a quick detour to the woods just behind Adam’s fraternity in Bloomington, but still no Ronald.

  Feeling somewhat discouraged, we returned to the portal. Quinn used the downtime to catch up on some much needed sleep.

  “You’ve been gone a while,” I remarked when Dylan returned to the Falls later that day. He hadn’t checked in on Quinn since he’d left the Falls last night, and I was beginning to wonder if Tara’s concerns about Dylan were well founded.

  “I knew he’d be safe with you,” Dylan replied. “Besides, I wanted to give you two time to be together. It’s been pretty lonely up here for him while you were gone. I mean, I could only do so much to entertain the guy. Plus, I know your soul was just aching to be back with him.” He winked and flashed me a mischievous grin.

  “Thanks,” I said, ignoring the innuendo. “And thanks for checking in on Quinn while I was away.”

  “No problem. College Boy’s a decent guy. And I’m glad I was able to update him on what little I’d heard about you. It seemed to ease his mind some.”

  “Hey, how did you even know where to find him once Quinn was on the road?” I asked Dylan. “How were you able to keep track of him?”

  Dylan flashed me a smitten look.

  “Oh, her. You going to tell me about this girlfriend of yours?” I teased.

  Dylan initially scowled at my characterization but then smiled excitedly. “Her name is Minerva, but I call her ‘M.’” His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree at the mere mention of her name, which made me smile. “I first ran into her maybe a week after she was assigned to Quinn. He was still in Bloomington at the time.” Dylan chuckled. “Boy, was she pissed off when she saw me. I think she was under the impression that I was trying to invade her turf, either that or she must’ve gotten the idea someone thought she needed help—which she didn’t, by the way,” Dylan quickly added in her defense. “Anyway, I thought she was going to take my head off when she first saw me.”

  “And then?”

  “I kept showing up night after night to check in on Quinn while he slept. I didn’t try to engage her, and I didn’t let Quinn know I was there because I hadn’t heard any good news about you, and I didn’t want to show up empty-handed, you know?”

  I nodded.

  “So once M realized I wasn’t a threat and that she couldn’t get rid of me, she sucked it up and dealt with me. That’s when I worked my magic,” Dylan noted, grinning as he cracked his knuckles. “And it turned out she couldn’t resist my charming personality—or my stellar manly prowess.” He winked and flexed his biceps.

  “Do we really need to go there?” I asked, cringing a little to mock him.

  “You’re just jealous you never got a piece of Big D,” he joked, pointing at himself with both thumbs. “And now it’s too late.”

  “Yeah, that’s it!” I laughed.

  “M and I started hanging out every night while College Boy slept, and he was never the wiser. And while he was on the road, she kept me posted on his whereabouts.

  “Hey,” he threw in, “did you know Watchers communicate telepathically with each other like we do? And that we can communicate telepathically with them?”

  “No,” I replied. “Actually, I hardly know anything about them.”

  “Well, they were created after we were, shortly after the Servants agreed to the Three Incident rule. The Order wanted to make sure the Servants held up their end of the deal, and Watchers make sure the demons don’t cheat the system.”

  “Peter told me Watchers don’t protect humans from Servants—that it’s not their job.”

  “He’s right in a way. Watchers are more of an insurance policy—witnesses should the Servants ever violate their end of the bargain. I guess the shit would really hit the fan if the Servants ever breached their Agreement with us. But don’t get me wrong, it’s not like Watchers can’t fight. They basically go through the same training we do, and they’re allowed to intervene on their charges’ behalf, as long as there are no safety or exposure risks. In fact, they’re a lot like us. Almost everything about them, about their existence, is modeled after us. They have their own Realm, called the Gallery, with their own Rules and Council. Watchers can telecommunicate, teleport, phase, heal—hell, even their senses are heightened like ours, if you know what I mean.” He raised his brows twice quickly.

  “Dylan, can you at least try to keep sex from being the main topic of conversation for more than two seconds?” I grumbled.

  “Hey, you know me—always thinking with my head.” He chuckled as I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, M and I have kinda had to keep things on the down low.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because, as a general rule, we don’t talk to them and they don’t talk to us. It’s really messed up—like, we hear things about each other through the grapevine, but neither side wants to acknowledge the other’s role in this whole mess,” Dylan explained. “Our only communication is what we choose to share in our charges’ files—which is pretty limited most of the time. Perfect example: When M was assigned to Quinn, she had the CliffsNotes version of his case, but had no idea about your relationship with College Boy or the details of your run-ins with the Servants.”

  “Kind of makes you wonder how they can do their jobs without an accurate picture of who they’re watching, doesn’t it?” I asked.

  “Yup,” he agreed. “That’s why I filled M in on your guys’ story—the attacks, the portal, the whole deal—she’s cool with it.”

  Instantly, I felt all the color drain from my face; I must’ve looked as white as a ghost. The thought of a perfect stranger, an immortal stranger, being privy to the ins and outs of Quinn’s and my situation terrified me. And it made me mega-pissed to hear Dylan had risked our safety on some random girl for whom he’d supposedly developed “feelings,” when he was probably just mesmerized by the great sex. For all I knew, there might be nothing random about her. Maybe she was a plant, a spy, sent to weasel her way into our group and learn our secrets—secrets the first-rate dumbass I’d just volunteered to be Quinn’s Shepherd handed to her on a silver platter.

  “Dylan!” I seethed. “Are you out of your mind? How can you tell a complete stranger all of that? Just because you’ve slept with her a few times doesn’t mean she’s trustworthy!”

  “First of all, M is not a stranger!” he snapped back. “And second, she’s totally trustworthy.”

  “And you’re basing that deep-seated trust on what? The way she—”

  “Watch it!” Dylan snarled, catching me off guard. I’d never seen Dylan so angry before. “You’re out of line, K.C. I realize my telling M everything is flipping you out. I probably should’ve come to you first before telling her, and I’m sorry about that. But you’ve got nothing to freak out about here. Believe me, she’s not going to tell anyone anything. She’s not like that. She’s one of us. You’ll see when you meet her.”

  “And when will that be?” I asked, dropping the edge in my voice.

  “Soon,” he replied, also more calmly.

  I suddenly felt very protective of Dylan. He obviously cared about this girl way more than I’d realized. And while I still had doubts about their relationship, I no longer questioned the strength of his feelings for her, which worried me on a whole other level. Dylan
didn’t get emotionally attached to the girls he hooked up with—he used them for sex. Letting someone in was new for him, and the last thing I wanted was for him to get played.

  “So, you two are pretty close, huh?” I asked.

  “Let’s just say that I’m no longer who you accused me of being. What was it again? Oh yeah, the guy who was ‘screwing the entire female population in New York,’” he replied with a mocking edge in his voice.

  “You’re telling me you’re monogamous now?”

  He laughed. “Like I said, M’s amazing. She’s beautiful, smart, feisty, sexy—kind of like someone else I know.” He winked at me, knowing full well that I sucked at taking compliments. True to form, I instantly felt the blood rush to my cheeks.

  “And she keeps me in check. Since I met M, I haven’t strayed once—haven’t even wanted to. I respect her too much as a friend.”

  “And the trustworthy part? You’re sure about that?” I asked. “You haven’t known her all that long—especially by our standards.”

  “Hey, I’m a great judge of character,” Dylan remarked, sounding insulted.

  “Yes, but is it possible you might be playing into her hands?” I framed the question as delicately as I could.

  “You want to know if I think Ms. White-Hot-and-Sexy is taking me for a ride so she can pump me for information about you two,” Dylan called me out. “I’m not an idiot, K.C. Yeah, sure, in the beginning the thought crossed my mind, but not anymore. I know she’s not playing me.

  “I know it all sounds too good to be true,” he continued when I said nothing. “I mean, it’s like the most amazing woman fell from the stars and into my lap. But she’s the real deal. What we have is real.”

  I looked at Dylan and sighed compassionately, hoping for all our sakes he was right about this girl.

  “Look, M’s a Watcher. She plays by the same Rules we do. And I know for a fact she can’t lie.”

  “Supposedly, neither can Peter,” I countered flippantly.

  “Give me a little credit, K.C.,” Dylan said in a more exasperated tone. “I didn’t just blurt everything out all at once. I started with the small stuff to test her. First, I told her about the last attack on Quinn and how the Servants stole some of his blood. I also mentioned that his ‘Shepherd’ destroyed one of them. I thought it was in Quinn’s and her best interests for her to know in case they came after him again. You should’ve seen her reaction. I don’t care who you are, no one could fake the look on her face—M was totally shocked on both counts.