How to Knock a Bravebird from Her Perch : The First Novel in the Morrow Girls Series (9780985751616)

by Bryant Simmons, D.

  “What time Helen coming to get you? She better hurry it up or else you gone be busy.” Clara smirked, seeing exactly what I saw. “Ricky. Give Pecan some money so she can get herself something to drink.”

  He handed me a five dollar bill. He was just dying to ask if I was going to be drinking something other than a Shirley Temple but he was too set on giving me the silent treatment.

  “Thanks.”

  “Mama, I’m gonna go with you.”

  Clara sighed and repositioned herself in her chair. She was getting real tired of Jackie’s hard-headedness. But all I could think was nobody was going to tell my baby she couldn’t have what she wanted. Nobody was ever gonna make her do something she ain’t wanna do.

  Helen’s horn beeped and butterflies went up and down my arms before going to town in my belly.

  “Ready?” Helen asked as I squeezed in the back seat of her itty bitty car. Paula was already snapped into the passenger seat.

  “Ready.”

  THE SMOKE WEIGHED A ton. It pressed down on our chests, squeezing between us and our sweat. Everywhere I turned folks was just plain old having a good time. And the drinks just kept coming. They came outta nowhere. I’d blink and Helen was handing me another one. They were cold and sweet, the only salvation in the steamy hot club, so I sucked them all down, one by one. After a while Paula dragged me into the washroom. The door swung open and closed in one creaky, swift motion. The three stalls were already taken. The blue paint on their doors was in definite need of a touch up but it’d been long forgotten by somebody.

  “Pecan! Girl, you hear me?”

  I was sure I did. I think I nodded.

  “Oooo, she done had enough!” Another voice said from somewheres up high. I know because I started looking for it and all I saw was the light flickering over my head.

  “Pecan!”

  The door to one of the stalls opened and I got to see just how tight it was. Got to see up close and personal like. Diana Ross was the last thing on my mind as I fell to my knees in front of the toilet. Paula helped me to my feet and somebody splashed some water in my face. About a minute later it all came clear. The voice from up high was Helen. She was wiping my face like I was a baby who’d just spit up. Don’t know why but it was all of a sudden so funny. So funny I couldn’t stand up straight.

  “Girrl, what’re we gonna do with you?”

  Next thing I knew we were all laughing so hard girls were giving us the evil eye for taking up so much precious space in the washroom.

  “You the only girl I know who wait until she married with four kids to go out and party!” Helen stood up against the door, holding it open so we could make our exit. “I guess we gotta keep an eye on you, huh?”

  As soon as she said it some guy came over and swept her off to the dance floor. Helen wasn’t the girl to turn any man down. She’d dance with anybody because of the idea that you never know who Prince Charming is gonna be. Me and Paula made our way to a part of the room that wasn’t so crowded, a dark corner off of the dance floor. The air tasted a bit salty over there.

  “I didn’t think Ricky was gonna let you come out.”

  “Huh?”

  “I didn’t think Ricky was gonna let you come out!”

  I pointed to my ear like I couldn’t hear her and went back to sucking the life outta my Shirley Temple. Last thing I wanted to talk about on my night of freedom was him. I ain’t even wanna talk about my kids. I was all set to pretend like I didn’t even have them. That’s when I saw him. Slender and graceful like a deer or something, he came through the crowd and I must have gasped because Paula looked at me then looked at him and back at me. “You know him?”

  “No.” I tried not to look directly at him but he was getting closer so it was getting harder not to see him.

  “Well, he looking at you like he knows you.”

  The thought made me smile. Wasn’t right but it did. Some man I ain’t know wanted to get familiar with me. He stood in front of me saying nice things but I knew what he was really saying. I should’ve gotten mad, maybe I should’ve slapped him. But I danced with him instead. He wasn’t a bad dancer but he wasn’t a good one neither. Not that it mattered. He spent more time trying to strike up a conversation than he did trying to keeping on beat. But I ain’t mind. He had real solid eyes, like rocks, like real solid rocks. He knew stuff. I could just tell he knew stuff. Stuff that I was dying to know. He asked me if I paid attention to politics and what I thought of this actor that thought he could be president. He must have been nervous because he ain’t wait for me to answer before rattling on about some debate. His long bony fingers slid down my back and I forbid the smile that was just itching to show itself.

  “You’re a good dancer.” The rock eyes said. “What’s your name, dancing queen?” He grinned and I could see that one of his front teeth was shorter than the others, not that I cared enough to think on it too long.

  “Pecan.”

  “Pecan? What kinda name is that? Your people named you after a nut?”

  Smart and funny. It took me a second to wrap my head around that. “Belinda. Nobody really calls me that but...that’s my name.”

  “People call me Heziah.”

  “Hezikiah? Like in the bible?”

  “No, Heziah. Like…without the k.”

  The music slowed down and Heziah pulled me in. He held me soft like, like he was dancing with a loaf of bread and he ain’t wanna squish it. Like I was precious. By the end of the second song, I ain’t wanna leave. I was dying to be squished. I kept hoping that somebody would bump into us and close the gap but it never happened. Was probably best, though. What I need with some man treating me like that? Some gentle man who ain’t know how to dance?

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” Soon as I said it, I knew it was a lie. A straight out lie. That’s when I saw him. Outta the corner of my eye. He was dancing like a grown man with nasty things on his mind. Dancing with some chick that wasn’t his wife. I knew his wife.

  “Who’s that?” Heziah asked, looking where I was looking.

  “My neighbor.”

  “Oh.”

  “He got a wife and that ain’t her. Got a wife and two kids.”

  “That bothers you, huh? A married man dancing with a woman?” Heziah’s grin came back, this time threatening to turn into fun for the both of us. “Guess you think married people aren’t supposed to be dancing with people they’re not married to, huh?” His hold on my hand shifted until he was mostly holding on to one of my fingers. The one with my wedding ring on it. “Is that right, Belinda?”

  “I guess.”

  “Maybe it’s innocent. Maybe she’s just his friend.”

  I had friends. We ain’t hump all over each other like they were doing. Like two dogs in heat, they were. Might as well got them a room somewhere and kept the rest of us outta it. Heziah was laughing at me by then so I tried not to stare at my nasty neighbor no more.

  “You two know each other well?”

  “Hmm?”

  Heziah looked back over there but I kept on looking at him because my nasty neighbor wasn’t getting no more of my attention. “They’re gone,” he said. “He took one look at you and took off running! Guess you really do know his wife, huh?”

  “They live two houses over.”

  “What’s she like?”

  “His wife?”

  “Yeah. I’m curious now. Sometimes people find the need to go looking for what they don’t have at home. Sometimes...it’s not so much a choice as it is a need. Everybody has needs, Belinda. Being married don’t necessarily fill everything up.”

  “You married?”

  “Me? No.” Heziah shook his head and the fun that was on his lips left suddenly, leaving sadness behind. “I was...married. About two years ago. Now I’m divorced.”

  “You cheat on her?” I probably shouldn’t of asked him that. But seeing as we probably wasn’t gonna see each other again, I did.

  One of the girls f
rom the bar came around with a tray full of tiny glasses. Heziah took one and damn near swallowed it whole. “Want a shot?”

  “No, thanks.”

  “You sure?” He folded a few bills on the tray and put the empty glass down on top of it. “My treat.”

  “You want me to get you something else, honey?” The girl asked, handing somebody behind her a few glasses. Whatever was in them swished so much she had to lick it from her fingers. “What you want? Rum? Vodka?”

  I ain’t want nothing. I shouldn’t of had the few drinks I did. The girl looked from me to Heziah like she ain’t believe me.

  “Thank you, miss, but I think she’s made up her mind. We’ll let you know if things change.”

  She shrugged and went about her business. Heziah went back to looking at me. But wasn’t no fun in his eyes. Looked the same as one of my kids did when they were about to get caught doing something they ain’t have no business doing. Guilty. He looked guilty. I was right. He was a cheater. All men were probably cheaters.

  “So where’s your wife now?”

  “She’s not...not my wife anymore.”

  “Right...” I ain’t have no right to be disappointed. So what if he was just a regular kinda man. Kind that cheated on his wife. That come up to a married woman, tell her how pretty she is and ask her to dance. I should’ve known.

  “See somebody else you know?” Heziah asked, trying to see where I was looking.

  “Just looking for my girlfriends. We came together.”

  “Girls night out, huh?” When I ain’t answer he started dancing in the other direction, turning us in a circle. Damn near knocked the couple next to us to the ground. “Oh! I’m sorry, man. Miss? I’m sorry,” he said. I don’t know if it was one of the colored lights that was shining out on the dance floor or if his face really was that red. They glared at him then moved out the way. “Guess I’m not too good at this.”

  “You fine.”

  “You’re just being nice. Dancing’s never been my thing. I just had to find a way to get you away from your girlfriend.”

  “Why’s that?”

  His eyes got real big and he swallowed so hard it looked like a ping pong ball just rolled down his throat. “Well...why does any man wanna dance with a pretty girl?” That wasn’t nowhere near the right thing to say. He caught on a little bit after I did and started stuttering and stammering something awful. “I...I just mean that y’all run the world. Have us doing whatever you please if it means you’ll give up one of them smiles. Make a man feel good about life to have the affection of a good-looking woman. But I apologize. I didn’t know about your...um, that you’re married.”

  “You apologize?”

  “Yeah, I didn’t mean any disrespect. If you want to go back to your friends, I understand.”

  Through the bodies on the dance floor I caught a glimpse of Paula standing exactly where I left her. She was smiling and doing her best to be polite to some man who was kind enough to ask her to dance. Let him down easy, she did. Not like me. No, I had to go and say yeah.

  “Belinda?”

  “I’m fine. With you. I’ll just...stay here with you.”

  I ain’t wanna believe it but there it was, the truth. In that dark smoky club, I’d found it. The one man that wasn’t a horny devilish mess. Heziah Jenkins was what my daddy called an honorable man.

  The Affair

  "LEAVE YOUR MAMA ALONE!” Clara stood in the doorway, waiting for the girls to leave my bedside. “She ain’t had nothing but a few hours of rest. How you feel if somebody come and wake you up after your head just hit the pillow? Now go on downstairs.”

  “It’s okay. I’m up.”

  “N’all. Now go on back to sleep.”

  Clara disappeared and so did my little ones. All I needed was to hear her voice and the front door closing to know she got Nikki and Mya off to school. I yawned and stretched my body as far out as it could go. I still had on my dress from the night before but my earrings hadn’t made it home with me. For the life of me I couldn’t remember what happened to them. I remembered the trip to the washroom...the dance floor...and...Heziah.

  Ricky was nowhere to be found but that was normal. He got up and out the door just before sunrise. He had a fight coming up in a few weeks that if he won would move him to the next division he said. It was the second time in his career he’d gotten close to it. Last time he choked against a weaker guy. That’s how he’d put it. He just ain’t wanna admit that somebody could beat him at something, could be more trained, more talented. He wouldn’t even think it was possible.

  “What you smiling about?” Clara came back, with a smile of her own at the sight of mine. “You have fun last night?”

  “I think so.”

  “You think so? How you not gonna know, hun? You had that much fun? That you don’t even remember?” I nodded and she kissed me on the head. A wet, brisk kiss. “It feel real good to live life, don’t it? Instead of just letting it pass you by.”

  “Yeah.”

  I kept that feeling all the way through breakfast. We sat in the kitchen, sipping our coffee and keeping still. I gave Natalie her bottle even though she was getting to the age that she was more interested in what we were drinking than what I had for her.

  “So you girls had yourselves a good time, huh?”

  “Sure did, Auntie. We danced and drank...”

  “Ooo, look at you! Guess you had a little more than them Shirley Temples you used to.” Clara pushed her empty cup of coffee to the side, letting her bosom ease over the edge of the table. “You ain’t buy all your own drinks did you?”

  “No, Auntie.”

  “Good girl. You and Ricky been together so long you ain’t have no chance to explore what life got to offer. Ain’t nothing wrong with flirting with it every now and then.”

  I ain’t know what to say to that, just nodded and tried to focus on Nat. The night before was over. I was back to being just a married woman. Good thing too. Wasn’t no smoke trying to weigh me down and men trying to feel me up. Just me and my girls. Was better that way. What kinda mama would I be if I went looking for something outside my front door?

  Jackie took up her usual spot in front of the TV set, explaining to her baby sister exactly what was happening on Sesame Street. She knew all the characters by name and thought that Nat should too. Nat wasn’t yet a year but she was crawling and sitting up. If left alone, she’d crawl to wherever her sisters were and watch everything they did. I was lucky that Nat was a pretty easy baby. She ain’t cry too much. She slept the right amount. The only thing was she looked nothing like Ricky. Ain’t bother me none but I could tell it bothered him. She was darker than me, darker than anybody in his family, and when she was born he looked at her then looked at me. I thought he was gonna accuse me of stepping out on him. And on top of everything else, she was a girl. I guess I thought he’d get over it, get on to loving her like he should’ve. I was wrong. But he ain’t have to love her. His love wasn’t nothing to go calling home about no way. She was my baby and I loved her.

  We had started cleaning the dishes when the phone rang. I didn’t think much of it. Just kept rinsing and drying and humming to myself. Then Clara squinted at me and held out the phone. “It’s for you.”

  From the second I heard his voice my heart went pitter patter in my chest. I nodded hello like he was standing in front of me, afraid that I’d give it all away by the sound of my voice. He asked me if I could talk and I muttered something that sounded like yeah. The phone cord stretched all the way across the kitchen so I went back to washing the dishes. Wasn’t long before I ran outta dishes. Clara just stood there, watching me with that curious look she had. “I gotta go.”

  He wanted me to meet him for lunch. Said he couldn’t stop thinking about me, he wanted to see me, talk to me. But I couldn’t do that. What would folks say? No good was gonna come outta meeting up with some man. He asked me again and I ain’t say nothing. But he gave me his number anyway and I scribbled it on a piece
of paper and hung up the phone.

  “Mama.” I damn near jumped outta my skin. Jackie stood at the table with both hands on her baby hips. “Next time you go out I’m going with you. Okay?”

  I agreed. And two days later I told Aunt Clara I was taking Jackie and Nat out to lunch and to the park. Nat was still too little to get much use of slides and sandboxes but she liked the outside air alright. We went to the food counter at Woolworth’s. Jackie loved it. She wanted a big milkshake and a plate full of fries. I ordered both for her just to see if she’d actually finish it. She sat up like a big girl and did me proud. All the ladies said how ladylike she was. I couldn’t take the credit. I’d tried to tell her that her dress shoes shouldn’t be worn to the park but she was so hard-headed. She wore them around the house same as I wore slippers. I even caught her wearing them to bed once or twice.

  After lunch, we walked the few blocks to the park. I saw him before he saw me. I stopped dead in my tracks. What was I doing? Using my kids as chaperones? If Ricky ever found out …

  “Belinda!”

  Too late to back out. He wore a tan corduroy suit that barely fit him. He took my hand and laid a quick kiss on my cheek before checking out our chaperones.

  “Don’t kiss my mama. She my mama.”

  “Well, I’m a friend of your mama’s. Nice to meet you, little lady.” Jackie shook his hand like she’d done it a million times before. “You can call me Heziah. Can you say that?”

  “Yeah.”

  But she ain’t try. Her mouth twisted to one side like she was thinking real hard on it. The laughter from the other kids drew her eye and off she went. We sat on a nearby bench, me and Heziah. I kept an eye on Jackie and a foot on the stroller, rocking Nat until I was sure she was asleep.

  “She’s cute. They both are.”