by Max Hudson
Owen cleared his throat, but I still didn’t look at him. “Mom, Dad,” he said, and my toes curled inside of my shoes. His voice had gotten deeper and it was the sexiest sound I’d ever heard. I needed to get the hell out of there before I popped wood in front of my parents over their son. If that wasn’t a strange thought, then I didn’t know what was.
“We love you and we couldn’t think of a better way of showing our appreciation by fulfilling your dreams. You’ve sacrificed so much for us and we could never repay you for all you’ve done. So, Connor, Benji, and I…” my name sounded like silk on his tongue and it brought back memories that I’ve tried to forget. “You’re not just going to France and Greece,” he then pulled out his own envelope and I frowned at Connor who smirked. “We’re also sending you to Italy and Ireland. One week in each country, which means a month-long anniversary trip.”
Tony covered his face in his hands as his shoulders shook. I had to wipe my own eyes as he stood up and wrapped Connor, Liz and Owen up in a hug. I smiled and looked away but then Tony said, “Benji, if you don’t get your ass over here and hug me, you won’t like what I do next.” I laughed and joined in on the huddle.
“We love you boys, with all of our hearts. We didn’t do what we did because we wanted payback. We did it because you three are the most important things in our lives and we are very blessed to call you our sons. All of you,” Tony said with a pointed look at me. I really was on the verge of tears and needed to get out of there before I made a fool of myself.
I swiped at my eyes as we broke apart. “We’ve already called your jobs and told them you’re taking vacation time. You guys accumulated more than enough over the years and they were more than willing to give you all the time you need.”
Liz shook her head as she smiled. She’d worked her entire life as a nurse and she loved her job, we knew that, but we also knew she could use a break. Tony owned chain of auto shops but liked to spend his time underneath the cars rather than behind the scenes. I guess I was like him in that way. They deserved a break, a long one and I was so glad we were able to do this for them.
“We love you boys, thank you so much for this, it means the world to us. She kissed each of us on the cheek before she wiped at her eyes.
“I guess we have some shopping and packing to do today!” she shouted with excitement and Tony groaned. “Quit your groaning. We’re about to spend a month in Europe! Get your ass in gear old man, we have money to spend.”
She moved swiftly out of the room and up the stairs while I smiled after her. Tony shook his head before he too gave us each a hug.
“Love you, son,” he said as he got to me.
“Love you too, Dad.”
He disappeared upstairs and I could hear Liz chatting away excitedly. I was glad we were able to do this for them. But with them upstairs, I suddenly felt like I was suffocating. I needed to get out of there and fast.
“Good timing man, when I didn’t see your car, I got worried,” I said to Connor as I gave him a hug.
“Sorry about that. This asshole finally woke up long enough for me to tell him our plans. He ordered the tickets and reserved their hotel when he got up. So, everything is good to go.”
I nodded but still refused to meet Owen’s gaze. “I’ve got to get to the shop, I have an appointment at two o’clock, shouldn’t take but a few hours so I’ll meet you guys at the restaurant.”
Connor nodded and his gaze shifted to Owen. I didn’t follow his line of sight and walked out of the room.
“Dude, you could have at least said hi,” I heard Connor say to Owen, but I didn’t bother sticking around to hear him respond. My chest felt tight and my skin tighter. I was ready to get this night over with so Owen could go back to his life and back to ignoring me. It was for the best.
Chapter Four
Owen
I watched him walk out the door and my throat seized. I wanted to say his name, call him back but I couldn’t. Seeing him up close was a shock to my system. He was much bigger, and broader than he used to be. Tattoos covered his skin and it looked sexy as hell on him. His hair was longer and pulled into a bun on the top of his head and he had a short, thick beard. He looked like a man. A very grown and handsome as hell man. He also looked like he wanted to be anywhere but where he was, which was why I said nothing as he walked past me and out the door.
When Connor pointed out I was being a bit of a dick by not speaking to Benji, I knew he was right, but I couldn’t find words. What did you say to the man you fucked into the mattress before you ghosted him? I didn’t think saying sorry was enough. I saw it on Benji’s face, even if he tried to hide it. I’d hurt him. I’d hurt him and I felt like total shit because of it.
“He looked like he was in a hurry,” I said lamely, and Connor knew it was lame. He was never the type to let you bullshit him and he knew I was bullshitting him.
“Look, I don’t know what happened between you two, but it’s been going on long enough. He’s family, Owen. He isn’t going anywhere, so whatever you did to him, apologize for it.”
“What makes you think it’s something I did?” I asked, feeling a bit offended. Connor raised a brow at me that told me not to bullshit him. He was right though. Benji never bothered a fly. He was a good guy, a nice guy, a sweet guy who just so happened to fuck like a rock star.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head. I needed to stray far, far away from those thoughts for the remainder of the weekend. I could keep my cool. I could be mature about this.
“I’ll talk to him,” I said, regretting it instantly.
“Before you leave?” Connor said, “And not over some bullshit messenger app?”
He knew me too well. “Yeah, Con,” I said, and Connor nodded.
“Good. I have a meeting to get to, I’ll see you tonight,” he said before he wrapped me up in a hug. “It’s good to have you home, bro.” He patted me on the back before he let go and he too left the house.
“So, Connor still doesn’t know?”
I spun around and found Dad looking at me over his sunglasses.
“W-what do you mean?” I asked and Dad shook his head like he was disappointed in me. I got it; I did some disappointing things in my life, but I didn’t know what he was referring too.
“I’m talking about you hooking up with Benji.”
If there were the slightest breeze, it would have knocked me over. “W-what?” I managed to sputter. Dad only grinned and took a step toward me.
“Look, I didn’t say anything because you were both of legal age. But son, the walls are thin and when someone is going to the bathroom at two in the morning, they hear things. Things a father never wants to hear and took me years to compartmentalize.”
My face was burning bright red as I stared at my dad with wide eyes. He knew. Holy fucking hell he knew. It felt like the room was spinning but then my dad’s hand was on my shoulder and he was telling me to calm down. I did calm down, but I was still having a mental freak-out.
“You knew all this time?” I squeaked out and he nodded.
“Yeah, I used to see how Benji looked at you and I thought about saying something about it, so he didn’t get his hopes up. But then I saw the way you looked at him too, and honestly… it was weird at first because you’re my sons but then I had to remember you and Benji never really acted like brothers. In fact, you acted like you couldn’t stand him. It wasn’t until you guys got older that I recognized it for what it was. Anyway, I decided to step back and let you two figure it out. I didn’t think it would result in you two having sex, then you running off to avoid what you’d done.”
I blinked rapidly as sweat beaded at my temple. I had no words. I couldn’t deny what he was saying because it was all one hundred percent fact.
“Why are you saying something about it now?” I asked and Dad shrugged.
“Because it’s been eight years, and this is the first time you’ve both been in the same room together. If it wasn’t such an emotional mor
ning, your mom would have cottoned on to the tension in the room.”
“So, she doesn’t know?” I asked and when he shook his head I sighed in relief. It was one thing knowing Dad knew, it would have sent me running to the airport if my mom knew.
“Nah, she would have wrung your neck for hurting Benji the way you did.”
I stared up at my dad as confusion and guilt hit me like a brick. I knew Benji had looked hurt a minute ago, but had it really been that obvious.
“What do you mean?” I said and Dad shook his head.
“It’s not really my place to tell but what I will say, it was obvious he was hurt and disappointed. He tried to hide it but then I’d catch him staring at the empty chair during dinner and he’d look dejected.”
I pressed a hand to my stomach and looked at the door that Benji had just walked out of. I wanted to find him and hug him. I wanted to apologize. I didn’t know if my leaving would hurt him when I’d done it. I was sure he was confused but I didn’t know he’d cared enough about me to feel hurt. I was an asshole.
“I didn’t mean to hurt him,” I said, and Dad pulled me into a hug. My dad was a tough guy, but he never failed to show his affection for us. He gave the best hugs in the world. They never failed to make me feel better, until today. I accepted the hug anyway because like I said, the man gave great hugs.
“I know you didn’t, son. But you need to make it right. Connor was right. Benji is family. We love him as much as we love you and your brother. For as long as he wants us, we’re keeping him. So, figure your shit out,” he said just as Mom came bounding up the stairs. She looked happier than a pig in shit and it made my heart warm to know that Benji was the reason for it.
When Connor had called me that morning, he told me how Benji came up with the plan to send Mom and Dad on a second honeymoon. It was a brilliant idea, and when I recalled Mom and Dad’s dream board, I knew where I wanted to send them. Buying the tickets was easy and I didn’t even flinch at the price. My parents deserved the world and if it was in us to give it to them, then we would. All three of us would.
I kissed Mom on the cheek as she passed me. Then she and Dad were out the door. I had my own plans for the day, but it seemed I needed to change them. I needed to make things right with Benji, but I didn’t know where to start.
***
Dinner that night was amazing. We sat at a family table as my dad showed the three of us what it meant to love someone unconditionally. He’d looked at my mom like she was his entire world. I had to look away because it felt too intimate, like we were invading on a private moment. But it was beautiful what my parents shared. I knew we were lucky enough to witness it.
Their love was what I’d always wanted for myself. Sure, I was a bit of a playboy in my younger years. But as I got older and went through a number of relationships, I realized I wanted forever. I wanted someone who would look at me like my dad looked at my mom. I wanted to feel a love so strong that people needed to look away from the beauty of it. I wanted that everlasting connection.
What I’d never expected was to feel an inkling of it when I’d hooked up with Benji. Calling it a hookup was almost insulting. No, what Benji and I had done that night was earth shattering. He wasn’t some guy just trying to get off. He’d made sure everything he’d done was pleasing me. He’d been in it for my pleasure and it had stolen my breath. He’d given me more than an orgasm. He’d shown me what it was like to share something with someone who actually meant something to you. I hadn’t been able to find that again with anyone since. I didn’t appreciate it back then; in fact, it scared the hell out of me what I’d felt for Benji in that moment. Dad called it a crush, sure, it started off that way but by the time that night ended, I knew I could fall in love with Benjamin Cole. I just hadn’t been ready.
I looked at him across the table and found him smiling down at his lap. He was likely feeling what we all were feeling, and I figured I’d need to get a hotel for the night. Dad was looking at Mom like he wanted to devour her, and I wanted no part of it.
As if he could sense me looking at him, his beautiful, jade green eyes met mine. He studied my face and I would have given anything to know what he thought when he looked at me. Benji had always been expressive in his features. He was easy to read, and it was one of the things I’d found intriguing about him. He didn’t shield himself from people. He was comfortable with who he was. But as he looked at me, I saw that that had changed. He had a wall up and I wondered if it was for everyone or just me.
My question was answered seconds later when he and Connor began talking. The wall went down and I saw Benji’s genuine happiness to be with my family, our family. It was only me he didn’t feel like he could be himself with and it stung, even if I knew I was to blame.
After we’d stuffed our faces with cheesecake, Mom and Dad said their goodnights. I knew they were heading home, and I pulled out my phone and booked a room at The W next to the mall where The Cheesecake Factory was located. Walking in on my parents bumping uglies was not on my to-do list. I shot Dad a text letting him know they had the house to themselves. He sent back a ton of wink emoji’s, which made me laugh and gag at the same time.
“So, you two heading home?” I asked. It was only ten on a Friday night. I knew Connor had the weekend off and figured he’d want to get into something. I didn’t know what Benji was into these days but if Connor was around, Benji usually was too.
“Yeah, we were going to head over to The Eagle, they’re having a little party for PRIDE so we figured we’d swing by, get a few drinks and see what the night will bring.”
I glanced at Benji who was looking anywhere but at me. I took a brief moment to appreciate how delicious he looked in well fitted jeans and a short-sleeved button up top. It clung to his arms and showed off his quarter-sleeve tattoo. He looked badass and sexy as hell. I knew Benji would grow into a fine man, but I never expected what was in front of me. He had to be the hottest man in the city of Atlanta. I could be biased but I didn’t care. He was gorgeous and I felt like an idiot for fucking things up with him.
“You could join us,” Connor said and Benji’s eyes slid closed. I knew that was the last thing he wanted but tough shit. I had things I needed to say, and it was past time for Benji to hear them. Therefore, I said, “Yeah, I’m in.”
Chapter Five
Benji
I wanted to kill Connor, but I also didn’t look good in orange and figured prison wasn’t worth it but the passion to make it happen was strong. I couldn’t say anything though because Connor would ask questions and I hated lying to my best friend. I thought about backing out but then I’d look like a dick. I hadn’t hung out with Connor in months and I didn’t want to miss out on time with him before he went back to Florida. So that meant I was going to have to endure a night with Owen.
I could feel him looking at me, engaging my reaction but I tried to remain stoic. I couldn’t let him know he still rattled me to my bones. It wasn’t like I had to deal with him long. The dinner was over and after tonight he’d be gone again. Hopefully for another eight years. Okay, that was a bit selfish of me. I knew Liz and Tony missed having him around and I couldn’t use my own hang-ups as a reason for him to stay away from his family.
I didn’t speak as we walked to our cars. I waited until I was in my truck and out of anyone’s line of vision before I let out the frustrated groan I’d been holding in all throughout dinner. Being around Owen again was bad for my health. He still made my heart race and that couldn’t be good for me. I didn’t understand how he still got to me so badly, but he did. I did a good job of hiding it though. I chatted with Liz and Tony as they gushed over all the things they were going to do once they landed in each country. Their flight was leaving early the next morning, so I wasn’t surprised they ended the night early. That and they looked like they wanted to rip each other’s clothes off, which was both sweet and gross at the same time.
They were my inspiration when it came to relationships. Whomever I ende
d up with in life, I wanted our love to be like Liz’s and Tony’s. I could say my own parents. They were still married, and I guess they were happy in their own way, but it wasn’t what I wanted. Barely seeing each other and being fine with it didn’t sound like happy times to me.
I’d been called needy in my last relationship and I could see where that came across. I needed intimacy. I was an intimate guy. I know that seemed strange with my size and the tattoos, but I was just a big old teddy bear. I loved cuddling. I’d prefer a night in, snuggling on the couch, than a night out at the bar any day. The guys who approached me expected me to be this badass dude who liked to get drunk and fuck in the bathroom stalls but that wasn’t me by a long shot. You couldn’t pay me enough to get down like that. But they saw the outside and made their assumptions. I got it, I swear I did, but it still sucked.
When we pulled into the parking lot, I was the last to get out. I was dragging my feet. I was not looking forward to this. It was different when I thought it was just going to be Connor and me. But with Owen coming along, I had to pretend that it wasn’t going to bother me to watch him get hit on. And he was definitely going to get hit on. I sighed as I joined them and then we walked inside.
The Eagle was just like any other bar except there were rainbow flags everywhere. The bar was a lot more crowded than usual thanks to the PRIDE event. There was a drag queen up on stage doing a damn good rendition of Madonna’s “Like a Virgin.” The crowd surrounded her, and they were losing their minds like she was the real Madonna.
We made our way over to an empty table but not without a few appreciative glances our way. I could admit we all looked good so I had no doubts any of us would leave with more than a few offers for a night cap.
We’d barely sat down when a waiter approached. He was tall and lithe with bright blue eyes and platinum blond hair. He was cute as hell but he wasn’t my type. I liked my guys big, maybe not as big as me but close enough. It didn’t seem to matter though because he had his eyes trained on Owen. Figures.