by Max Hudson
“Hey there guys. My name is Corey and I’ll be serving you tonight. The kitchen is open until eleven, so if you want to put in some orders, you better do it now,” he said before he licked his lips lasciviously at Owen. “I’m not on the menu but that could be arranged.”
I rolled my eyes as Connor began coughing. He leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Why did I think it was a good idea to invite my brother?”
“Because you love him, and you missed him and wanted to spend some bro time with him.”
“Right,” Connor said with a slight nod. “Might be regretting that.” I smiled and shook my head. When I looked up, Owen was staring at me, well, he was staring at my mouth and I didn’t know what to do with that. The waiter was looking at me too, well, more like glaring and I again didn’t know what to do with that.
We ended up ordering a few beers since we were all driving. I didn’t like getting drunk. Not being in control of my body just didn’t scream a good time to me. I’d go out drinking with the crew from the tattoo shop every now and then, but I never got drunk. I’d learned my lesson the hard way during college and I was not a fan of morning after hangovers. So, I very rarely drank the hard stuff. I was fine with my beer.
The waiter walked away soon after but not before looking over his shoulder at Owen to make sure he was watching. Owen was of course, and the little twink put an extra sway in his hips as he walked toward the bar to put in our orders.
“Well, I guess it’s safe to say you’re getting laid tonight,” Connor said, and I forced myself not to react. I didn’t even blink, which in hindsight, probably looked really weird.
“Nah, he’s cute and would probably be really enthusiastic but I like my men with a little more meat on their bones. Little guy like that wouldn’t be able to give me what I need.”
I bit down on my tongue so hard, that I tasted blood. I didn’t want to think about anyone giving Owen what he needed especially when I thought I’d done just that. I hadn’t been the most experienced lover, but I knew when someone was enjoying themselves and the way Owen had moaned my name told me he had definitely enjoyed what I’d been doing to him.
My knee bounced under the table. I hated going back to that night. Hated remembering how good it had felt, how right it all seemed. Only to wake up and find that I’d been alone in my feelings. I took in a deep breath and forced myself to calm down. He wasn’t talking about me. He couldn’t be and I needed to remember that.
The waiter returned and lingered a bit to flirt with Owen. I swallowed down half my beer in one go and Connor stared at me with a confused expression on his face.
“You all right, man?” he asked, and I nodded as I took another pull.
“Just a little tense. I need to get laid,” I said, and beer spewed across the table as Owen began coughing. The waiter let out a squeak of horror as beer landed on him and I tried my hardest not to laugh. It was a difficult feat.
Owen apologized between coughs before he took in a deep gasp of air.
“What in the hell is going on with you two tonight?” Connor asked and the table fell silent. I refused to look at Owen, knowing if I did, it would give us away. Connor could never know what happened between me and Owen. It would freak him out and piss him off at the same time. There’d been out guys in high school who would try to befriend Connor to get close to Owen. It used to piss Connor off. I felt he knew me better than that, but I knew it would still hurt him if he ever found out. Especially since it had only been a hookup. It wasn’t worth him knowing about it.
I took in a deep breath to speak but Owen beat me to the punch.
“Sorry, it just surprised me is all. The last time I saw Benji he was just a kid, you know? You both were. It’s a little weird hearing you talk about getting laid.”
I chewed at the inside of my jaw at his choice of words. I hadn’t been a kid. I’d been eighteen and he didn’t seem to have had a problem with it when I’d been blowing him or when he’d fucked me into the mattress.
“I’m going to the can,” I said as I got up from my seat and walked toward the bathroom. I didn’t really need to go but I did need to calm down. So, I splashed some water on my face before I took a good look at myself in the mirror.
I’d changed a lot over the years. I looked more man than boy, so I guess I could see why Owen used the kid reference. But I still didn’t like it. I knew I couldn’t get through the night feeling like I was feeling. As much as I wanted to hang out with Connor, I couldn’t do it with Owen around. Decision made, I turned to leave but then Owen walked through the door.
I cursed the heavens and damned the universe to hell as we stared at one another. I didn’t know what to say. If anything should even be said. But I also knew we couldn’t keep standing there staring at each other like a cliché romance novel.
“Why’d you follow me in here?” I finally asked and Owen sighed heavily.
“I’m sure you know why Benji,” was his reply and I didn’t respond. I wasn’t the one who needed to do the talking; that was all on Owen. And he knew it. I could see it in the way he looked at me. I saw the regret in his gaze and I almost let him off the hook. Almost.
“Look, I… I have a lot of things I need to say to you. Things that will take a lot longer than a few minutes to say and I’d really rather not have this conversation in a bar where two guys are currently fucking in the last stall.”
I pressed my lips together and tried not to laugh as one of the guys cursed. Owen grinned and my toes curled in my shoes.
“So, what are you suggesting?” I asked.
“I want us to talk. I mean have a real talk. I’m going to stick around a while, maybe stay at Mom and Dad’s while they’re gone, house sit or whatever. So, I’ll be around. I’d like it if we could meet up one day soon and you’ll allow me to say what I need to say.”
I nibbled at my lip and Owen’s eyes trained on them. His nostrils flared before he slammed his eyes shut. But I saw it. Holy fuck did I see it. He wanted me. He still wanted me. After all these years. He still wanted me. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or rage. I decided on neither. I pretended to ignore it. Because at the end of the day, I needed more than lust. Sex was great and all, but I could get that anywhere. I could walk out of this bathroom and have someone on their knees for me in no time flat. Hookups were easy to get. What I wanted was a relationship. I wanted the hearts and flowers and happily ever after. What Owen wanted from me, clearly wasn’t that.
“Sure, I work most days but I’m the boss so I can take some time off. What day works for you?”
Owen looked a bit surprised that I’d agreed but he quickly recovered. “I’ll be back over this way on Wednesday. We could do lunch?”
I recalled my Wednesday schedule and I only had a few piercings that morning, so it worked out.
“Sounds good, you know where the shop is?” He nodded. “Okay, you can meet me there around noon, there’s a burger place around the corner where we can sit down and… chat.”
Owen took in a deep breath then flinched. It smelled like sweat and sex, and I was over being in there.
“All right, see you Wednesday.” I made to walk past him, but his hand grabbed my wrist. The small touch sent chills down my spine and I barely suppressed a shudder. I met Owen’s gaze and it looked like he wanted to say something more but decided against it. His fingertips trailed across my skin and I swallowed thickly as he took a step away.
“I’m gonna head out, tell Connor I’ll catch up with him later since I’m sticking around,” he said before he brushed past me and practically ran out of the bathroom.
I didn’t know what we were doing but I did not see this ending well.
Chapter Six
Owen
I was a nervous wreck as I approached Cole World Creations. I had spent the past few days wracking my brain as to what to say to Benji. I knew I had a lot of explaining to do but I didn’t even know where to begin. Was I looking for forgiveness or was I just tired of avoiding him? I reall
y didn’t know but my dad had been right. Benji was a part of the family and I couldn’t continue to pretend like he didn’t exist because I was embarrassed.
I ran my fingers through my hair and took in a deep breath before I walked through the doors. I was instantly shocked at what I was seeing. Cole World Creations wasn’t like any tattoo shop that I’d ever seen and to be honest I’d only seen one when I got pierced a few years ago but even that shop didn’t compare to this one.
Cole World Creations looked like an upscale establishment with its rose gold and gray décor. The space was very open and large. I counted six different tattoo stations and what looked to be two private rooms toward the back. The waiting area had a lush gray love seat with matching accent chairs along with a gray coffee table that was covered in photo books. Framed photos of celebrities lined the wall and I didn’t miss how most of them had Benji in them. The shop was phenomenal.
“Can I help you?”
My head whipped to the left and was greeted by a petit looking woman with platinum blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She looked innocent as hell with her makeup all done up and her bubble gum pink lips. But then she tilted her head and I caught a flash of her tattoos on her neck that also peeked out from beneath her sleeve and all the way down to her wrist. The sleeve tattoo was stunning, and I would have loved a closer look, but I thought it would come off creepy.
She raised a brow at me, and I remembered she’d asked me a question.
“Oh right, hi. I’m Owen, I’m here for Benji.”
Just then Benji walked out of the back rooms and I fought not to groan at the sight of him. He wore a pair of loose-fitting jeans that hung low on his hips. His shirt was tight against his chest and arms and had the shop’s logo on the front. His hair was pulled up in a bun and I wanted nothing more than to see it down. To compare it to how it had been the last time I’d seen him. He had on a pair of glasses that had my knees going weak.
“Fuck me,” I groaned, and the receptionist giggled, which had me glancing her way.
“He gets that a lot, no worries,” she said before she called out Benji’s name. He looked over toward her and then his eyes snapped to me. His face remained neutral, but I swore I saw a flash of something in his eyes. It could have been my imagination playing tricks on me but then “tattoo barbie” said, “Well… I’ve never seen him react like that before. Just who are you, Owen?” She said with a mischievous glint in her eyes.
I looked back toward Benji who was speaking with his customer. The girl was looking up at him like he hung the moon and the stars and saw what the receptionist meant. They walked toward us and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.
“Carrie, set Ms. Howard up with some after care for her piercing. I’m done for the day,” Benji said and Carrie stood before she walked over to the cabinet and pulled out what looked to be premade bags. She began giving Ms. Howard after care instructions and I tuned her out as Benji turned toward me.
“You ready?” he asked but didn’t wait for an answer as he strode toward the door. Carrie shouted out a goodbye and Benji tossed a wave over his shoulder as he walked out the door. I followed quickly behind him. He was taller than I was now, and his legs went on for days he took big strides as he walked while mine was more of a strut.
We didn’t say anything as we walked toward the restaurant and I became more nervous the closer we got. I didn’t know how Benji was going to react or if he’d react at all. I just hoped this wouldn’t blow up in my face.
We were seated almost immediately, which gave me no time to stall. Benji remained silent as we looked over our menus. My knee was bouncing like crazy underneath the table and it felt like my heart was going to explode in my chest. I was freaking out.
“Dude, I’m not going to punch you or anything, you can calm down,” Benji said and I looked up and met his gaze. His brows were furrowed as he watched me, and I realized I was being an idiot. This was Benji. He’d never hurt a fly.
“You’re right, I’m just nervous.” He nodded and went back to studying his menu. Our waitress came shortly after and we placed our orders and waited for our drinks. When they arrived, I took a large sip to hydrate my suddenly dry throat.
“So, you wanted to talk, let’s talk.” Benji said.
My heart sped up again and I cleared my throat to speak but nothing came out. I tried again and my throat seized. I couldn’t believe how I was acting. I literally spoke for a living. All I did almost every day was talk and the moment I needed to the most, I couldn’t seem to get the words out.
Benji sighed and scratched at his beard. “Okay, I’m going to assume you want to talk about what happened eight years ago?” He raised a brow at me and I nodded. “I’m also assuming this talk is about why you ran away the very next morning and ghosted me for almost a decade, correct?” I nodded again.
Benji steepled his fingers on the table and my mind immediately flashed to the last time those talented hands had touched my skin. I squeezed my eyes closed and forced myself to calm down. I was making a fool of myself and I needed to relax.
“Owen,” Benji said, his voice soft. It made my chest ache hearing my name on his lips for the first time in eight years. My eyes slowly slid open and I stared into those gorgeous dark green eyes. He was so damn handsome it stole my breath. I always knew he would be, but he exceeded my imagination.
“Sorry,” I finally forced out. “I’m acting like an idiot. I just didn’t expect this to be as hard as it is.” Benji remained silent as I took in a deep breath. “I’ve thought about that night probably more times than is healthy, and there were days when I felt it was a mistake.” Benji looked down at the table and I cursed underneath my breath. “Then there were other days when I felt it was one of the best nights of my life.”
Benji’s head came back up and his eyes locked with mine. He looked as confused as I felt but still, I pushed on. “I shouldn’t have run away the way I did but I was feeling a lot of conflicting emotions after that night. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to sort them out with you around, so I took off. I told myself it would only be for a few days, a week tops. But after a week, I still didn’t know how to explain what I was feeling, so I stayed away. Eventually so much time passed, I thought it was best for me to just stay gone.”
“For eight years?” Benji said and it was the first time I heard the anger in his voice. “You were gone for eight years. You avoided me for eight years. Do you think it was any easier for me? I had to listen to your parents and your brother wondering why you never came home, and I knew it was because of me and I couldn’t even tell them. I’ve lived with the guilt that I ran you away. I was forced to face what I’d done while you conveniently ran away from it, leaving me behind to deal with it alone.”
My nose began to tingle and I fought back tears. I hadn’t stopped to think about what Benji was feeling. I’d been so freaked out, I’d acted selfishly. I did leave him to deal with things on his own. I was seriously a shitty person.
“You’re right, I did, and I can’t change what I’ve done. What I can do is try to make it right. I’m sorry Benji. It wasn’t any fault of yours why I left the way I did. It was my own head that got confused and I didn’t know how to handle it.”
“What couldn’t you handle?” he asked, and my throat seized again. I didn’t know how to word my thoughts, so it all came out in a rush.
“It was really hard for me to ignore you when we were growing up. You were always at our house and I remember thinking when you were going to go home. It was annoying at first because I’d already had one annoying little brother, I didn’t need another one. Then I started noticing my interest in boys and lo and behold, who was the person to make me realize I liked boys in the first place,” I held my hand out toward Benji and his eyes widened. “You guessed it, my little brother’s best friend. It sucked, it sucked because I didn’t understand what I was feeling, I just knew I wanted to kiss you like Dad kissed Mom. I didn’t think that was normal, so I blamed you for it
. I hated you for making me weird.”
Benji blinked rapidly but he didn’t even try to speak, which I appreciated because I was on a roll and now that the words were spilling out, I didn’t think it was possible to stop them.
“The older you got, the worse it became. It was nearly impossible for me not to get an erection when you were around.” At that moment the waitress came back and put down our plates. Her lips were pressed together like she was holding back a laugh and I hung my head as Benji chuckled across from me.
I glared at him and the bastard winked. He winked and my entire body lit on fire. I wanted to curse him for being so damn sexy, but it wasn’t his fault I’d harbored a lifetime crush on him.
When the waitress walked away, Benji grinned and said, “So you were saying?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I grumbled and Benji chuckled.
“Oh really? Well, I’m pretty sure you were admitting to perving on me when I was just a young impressionable little boy.”
“I hate you,” I grumbled and Benji’s grin turned into a full smile, dimples peeking out from under his beard and all.
“Yeah… I doubt that.” He popped a fry into his mouth and it shouldn’t have been sexy. There was nothing sexy about eating French fries but for whatever reason, it was when Benji did it. I looked away from him and began eating my own food. We took a few bites before Benji spoke again.
“So, you realized you were gay, because of me?” I nodded and he grinned. “When?”
“What?” I asked really not wanting to answer this question.
“What was the defining moment?”
I groaned and buried my face in my hands. I didn’t want to do this, but I knew Benji wasn’t going to let me off the hook. And once I told him, I’d never be able to live it down.