It's Always Been You

by Max Hudson

  I was nervous as I stood in front of Benji’s door at ten till eight at night. I could smell something delicious coming from inside and my stomach growled. I’d all but forgotten about lunch after I’d agreed to come here. So, I was famished. For the millionth time that day, I contemplated if I should just go back to my parents’ house and pretend none of this ever happened. But I couldn’t do that to Benji. He was cooking dinner for me. Sure, he wanted to get all up on this, but he could have just taken me upstairs earlier that day and fucked my brains out, but it didn’t seem that was how Benji rolled. Then I remembered that he said people don’t come to his place. He was inviting me into his space for the second time and that had to mean something.

  I finally took in a deep breath and knocked on the door. It didn’t take long for Benji to answer. He smiled beautifully at me and it was almost too much. He had the most beautiful smile. I didn’t know what my face expressed but Benji’s smile faded.

  “Hey,” he whispered as his hand came up to cup my cheek. “I’m sorry. I know I was being pushy earlier, but I promise Owen, all we have to do is have dinner if that’s what makes you comfortable. I don’t ever want you to feel pressured. I promise.”

  I sighed and leaned forward. My head landing on Benji’s shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me, and I sank further into his embrace. I wrapped my arms around his waist, and we stood there for a long time, neither of us speaking.

  I finally leaned back enough to meet his gaze. He really was beautiful. “I want you,” I said and Benji nodded. “Way more than I probably should, and it freaks me out a little bit.”

  “Only a little?” he teased, and I smacked his chest, which made him laugh.

  “I like you Benji,” I said. He studied me for a long time after that then his hand was cupping my cheek again.

  “Good, because I like you too. Always have. Now, come on in so I can feed you; I heard your stomach growling from the hall.”

  I laughed and Benji smiled before he led me inside and closed the door.

  Dinner was amazing. I never knew Benji could cook but the spaghetti and garlic bread he’d made were absolutely delicious. I moaned as I ate and Benji stared at me like it was me he’d rather be eating.

  “You’re doing that on purpose,” he accused, and I grinned around my piece of bread.

  “I have no idea what you mean. I’m just enjoying this orgasmic food.”

  Benji glared at me and I winked as I took another bite. He wasn’t the only one who could flirt. I’d just been too caught up in my head to reciprocate. I was past that now.

  We finished up dinner relatively quickly. It had nothing to do with the fact I wanted Benji on his back and beneath me or above me. I was fine either way. But Benji didn’t lead us to the bedroom after dinner. No, he plated up two slices of cake and led me to the couch. He turned down the lights and turned on the TV. I didn’t get what was happening. I’d thought we’d get right to the sex. I didn’t complain though; I just ate my cake and watched the movie playing on the flat screen.

  At some point during the movie, I found myself curled into Benji’s side. His arm was wrapped around me, his fingers playing in my hair. It was nice. Too nice.

  “Benji,” I said.

  “Yeah?”

  “This feels really date-ish.”

  “Yep,” was his reply and that was it.

  “So, we’re on a date?” I asked and Benji chuckled.

  “Caught on to that did you?” I sat up and turned to look at him. He was grinning at me while my heart was racing like a horse in the Kentucky Derby.

  “Y-you want to date me?” I croaked and Benji sighed before he reached for the remote and muted the TV.

  “Yes, Owen, I would like to date you. I would also like to fuck you into my mattress until you come so hard you pass out, but mostly I want to date you. Tonight was our first date. I don’t usually put out on a first date but for you, I’ll make an exception.”

  I had no idea what to do with that news. I was stunned.

  “S-so, you don’t want this to be a one-time thing?”

  Benji’s brows furrowed and his jaw ticked. He looked upset but then he took in a deep breath and said, “I’ve been thinking about this a lot since this morning and something I kept coming back to is the fact that we’ve been here before. Eight years ago, we did the exact same thing. We started something on a whim, made promises to only let it be one time and then it blew up in our faces. We both know that we have chemistry. We also know that we’re compatible in bed.

  “Being attracted to each other isn’t our problem. Fucking each other’s brains out also isn’t going to make this go away. If anything, it’s going to be so fucking good, we won’t be able to walk away from it. What we need to deal with is our feelings. You have feelings for me Owen. I have feelings for you. That is what we need to focus on.”

  I hated that he was right, and I hated that he was mature enough to say it. I would have chosen to ignore it but not Benji. He’d grown up. He was no longer an eighteen-year-old kid. He was a grown ass man who had a successful career. He could get laid anytime. So, I should have known better. Known that this wasn’t going to be some hookup. I was an idiot.

  “If this isn’t what you want, I get that. But I don’t think sex is going to solve what we have going on.”

  “You’re right,” I said and Benji sighed. “I know you’re right and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared.”

  “Why?”

  “Benji, if we start this, we aren’t going to be able to hide it.”

  “I don’t want to hide it,” he said and frowned. “I mean, I get why we should, but I don’t want to.”

  “If we start this, and my parents find out, they are going to freak,” I said and Benji’s face fell. “In the best way, Benji,” I finished. I took his hand in mine and it felt natural. Too natural. “They love you. They’d think I was the luckiest man in the world to have you. But if this fails between us, it will break their hearts. I don’t want to hurt them, and I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to be the reason our family falls apart. They’d hate me if they lost you Benji. Besides, Dad… well, he sort of already knows.”

  “What?” Benji said, his voice a croak.

  “Yeah,” I said rubbing at the back of my neck. “We apparently weren’t as quiet as we thought.”

  Benji’s cheeks turned bright pink as he began to sputter. I smiled and shook my head. “It’s cool. He was cool, which is why I said, they’d be hurt. Dad knows we shared something, and he told me to make it right because he loves you. He loves me and he wanted us to be okay. If we pursue this and it goes wrong, I can’t help but feel like you’d walk away for good this time and they’d blame me.”

  “Hey,” he said and cupped my face. “I’m not going anywhere, no matter how this goes. Look, we don’t have to tell them anything at first if that’s how you want to play it. I’m fine with that but I can’t keep this from Connor. It’s eaten at me for years that I never told him the truth about what happened with us. He’s my best friend, and I need him to know what’s going on.”

  I pressed my forehead to Benji’s and sighed. This was not how I expected the night to go and I wasn’t mad at the turn of events. Yes, it was new and scary. Yes, I was worried that this would blow up in our faces but my heart, my heart felt more settled than it had ever been. I found myself feeling hopeful for a future with Benji and it scared the ever-loving shit out of me but still I said,

  “Okay. We can tell Con.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah, Benji.”

  “Thanks,” he whispered, and God did my heart melt.

  “You’re turning me into a sap and we’ve only been dating for a few minutes.”

  Benji laughed and then my world tilted when he pressed his lips to mine. Waves of electricity flowed through me and I gasped. Benji’s fingers gripped my hair and my gasp turned into a groan. I cupped his face in my hands and tilted my head to deepen the kiss. He tasted like chocolate and I wa
nted to devour him.

  I didn’t know when I’d crawled into his lap but next thing I knew, I was straddling Benji’s hips while he gripped my ass. Our cocks pressed together as we kissed.

  “Want you,” I moaned against his lips.

  “Me too,” Benji growled. “Take your pants off,” he commanded, and I trembled. I quickly stood and removed my pants. Benji did the same and I gaped at the imprint of his cock in his briefs.

  “My, my, how you’ve grown,” I said, and my mouth watered as his hand lightly caressed his cock.

  “Get your sexy ass back over here,” he said, and my knees wobbled as I moved. I straddled him and he gripped my ass again. “I’m not going to fuck you tonight,” he said, and I pouted. Benji chuckled and nipped at my bottom lip. “Don’t pout, baby. I’m still going to get you off.” I trembled at the term of endearment. I didn’t care much for pet names but Benji calling me baby, really got my gears going.

  “Show me your cock. Is it as pretty as it used to be?” he asked, and I swallowed hard as I reached into my briefs and pulled out my rock-hard cock. I watched Benji’s face as he looked down. His nostrils flared and his hungry gaze met mine. “You got pierced?” he growled, and I nodded.

  Benji gripped my cock and ran his thumb across my frenum piercing. I gasped as he rubbed against it, causing precum to build at the tip.

  “This is so fucking sexy,” he growled before he let go and reached for my shirt. He quickly pulled it over my head and tossed it to the side. I had no time to think before his tongue flicked at my nipple. My gasp quickly turned into a groan when he gripped my cock again.

  “Ever thought of piercing these?” he asked before he bit my nipple.

  “Yes,” I moaned and Benji chuckled.

  “I’ll do them for you. I don’t want anyone else to touch them,” he said before he sucked one nipple into his mouth. He sucked and licked at my nipples while he stroked my cock. I was in pleasure overload.

  “Benji,” I moaned as he picked up speed. My heart was racing as my orgasm loomed. “Wanna touch you too,” I panted. Benji unlatched himself from my nipple only to move to my neck. He found the spot that made my toes curl and I cried out as he licked and bit down.

  “Don’t worry about me, this is for you. We have plenty of time for you to take care of me. But right now, right now I want you to cum for me Owen. I want you to let go and show me what I do to you.”

  That wasn’t going to be a problem because my orgasm could be created from his words alone. His thumb rubbed against my piercing and with a flick of his wrist, I was shouting his name as ropes of cum shot out from my dick and splashed on my chest. Benji stroked me until I was shaking with the aftermath of my orgasm. He pulled me forward and kissed me for all I was worth.

  “Beautiful,” he whispered against my lips and I sighed. “Come on baby, let’s get you cleaned up.”

  I was dead on my feet as we moved toward the bathroom. We quickly got me cleaned up and then I was lying on a lush, king-sized bed with sheets softer than anything I’d ever felt. Then Benji’s chest was pressed against my back, his arms wrapped around my waist.

  “You want me to stay?” I mumbled and Benji placed a kiss to my shoulder.

  “Yeah. Now, sleep.”

  “Kay,” I moaned sleepily and Benji chuckled.

  “Night, Owen.”

  “Night Benji,” then, I slept like the dead.

  Chapter Eleven

  Benji

  Kisses were being trailed across my chest and I sighed at the warm lips touching my skin. Those lips licked and sucked at my nipples making my already hard dick harder. Then they kissed down my stomach, hands caressing my abs. When those hands wrapped around my cock, I sighed. They stroked until I was at full mast. Then I was surrounded by wet heat.

  “Fuck, Owen,” I groaned as Owen took me into his mouth.

  I opened my eyes and leaned up on my elbows to watch my dick disappear between his pretty lips. They were stretched wide as he took my girth.

  He licked at the head and I hissed as he hollowed his cheeks and began sucking me off. His mouth felt amazing wrapped around me and I wasn’t going to last long.

  “Cup my balls,” I growled, and Owen moaned around me. His hand cupped my sack and rolled them in his palm as his head bobbed.

  My head fell back, and my hips began to move. I didn’t want to hurt Owen but the urge to fuck his mouth was strong.

  His mouth was suddenly gone, and I looked down in time to see him suck one of my balls into his mouth.

  “Fuck yeah, that’s good.” He stroked and rubbed at the head of my cock while he worshipped my balls. I was close to coming.

  “Fuck my mouth,” he said as he licked at the head. “Want to feel you in my throat for the rest of the day.”

  “Fuuuck” I moaned and gripped his hair. I slid the head in slowly, pacing myself for what was about to happen. With each stroke I slid in deeper and deeper. Owen moaned with each stroke, only making my hard dick, harder. I hit the back of his throat and he swallowed around me. I shouted out a curse and picked up speed. His mouth was hot and wet, and he took my cock like a champ. I wasn’t small, at least eight inches long and three inches thick. That was a lot of cock to take and Owen was handling it perfectly.

  He moaned and whimpered as I fucked his throat. His free hand jerked his own cock and I moaned at the sight of him getting off just from sucking me.

  “Yeah, baby, get yourself off. Gonna cum down your throat,” Owen’s strokes picked up speed and so did mine. Owen hollowed his cheeks and rolled my balls in his hand and that was it. I fucked his mouth viciously as my orgasm slammed into me. Our mixed sounds of pleasure filled the air as my orgasm hit and I spilled into Owen’s throat. My grip on his hair was tight as I held myself in his throat and released my pleasure.

  When I slid from between his lips, I felt boneless. Owen crawled up my body and laid on top of me. I cupped the back of his head and ran my fingers through his hair. It was soft and a bit tangled from my rough handling of it.

  “Was I too rough?” I asked him and kissed the top of his head.

  “No, that was… it was perfect Benji.” He sounded as if he were in awe and I smiled.

  We stayed that way for a moment before Owen groaned and lifted his head. He smiled down at me and my heart clenched. He was so beautiful, and I couldn’t believe he was mine.

  When I’d gotten home yesterday, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. I’d wracked my brain about it until I realized, I wanted Owen for more than just his body. I wanted all of him, all or nothing. I could hook up with anyone, I didn’t want a hookup with Owen. He’d meant something to me once and those feelings had never completely gone away.

  So, I took a leap and thank God it paid off.

  “I need to get going. I have to be to work in a few hours and have to drive home to get some clothes.”

  I rubbed at his back and he sighed. I didn't want him to leave but I had to start getting ready for work as well.

  “If you must,” I sighed, and Owen laughed before he leaned in and kissed me. He tried to make it quick, but I cupped the back of his head and deepened it. He moaned into my mouth and my dick twitched. He pulled away and pushed up off the bed.

  “Who knew you were so much trouble?” he said with a grin before walking out of the room.

  I got up, pulled on my sweats and followed him to the living room. He pulled his pants on and I watched him dress.

  “When are you officially moving in?” I asked.

  “A couple of days before Mom and Dad get back. Which reminds me, you've got a truck right?”

  “Right…”

  “Do the seats fold down? I have some furniture to pick up and could use a truck. You wanna help me?” he flashed a sweet grin at me that was almost impossible to say no to.

  “You are trouble,” I said, and he laughed.

  “Funny, I was thinking the same about you. Anyway, if you can't do it that's fine. I can just pay for them to
bring it.”

  “I don’t mind baby, as long as it’s a Wednesday.”

  He smiled and walked over to kiss me. “I like it when you call me baby. I didn't like it from others but with you…” he shook his head and grinned. “Anyway, I really need to get going. Is… is it okay if I stop by again before Wednesday?”

  My heart sang knowing he wanted more time with me. This was what I’d hoped for eight years ago and it was finally happening. It seemed surreal.

  “You’re welcome here anytime,” I whispered before kissing him softly.

  “Okay,” he whispered back. Then with one last kiss he walked toward the door. “I'll call you later. Later babe.”

  I smiled, having not heard that word in a long time and more than happy to hear it again. So I was smiling as Owen walked out the door, taking my heart with him as he went.

  That day at work, I felt lighter, happier, at ease. And it showed.

  “Okay, who is he? Is it preppy that looks at you like you hung the moon?”

  I looked up at Carrie, who stared at me, her arms folded across her chest. She had attitude for days, but she was the most well-organized person I’d ever known, and she kept the guys and my appointments scheduled. I paid her well over what was required but that’s because she was damn good at her job. But she was also nosy as fuck.

  “What are you talking about?” I asked as I wiped down my station.

  “You know exactly what I’m talking about. You walked in this morning and you were all, good morning ya’ll. Beautiful day isn’t it?”

  I frowned and then thought back to a few hours ago. I was happy when I got to work but I was happy every day and I pointed that out to Carrie.

  “Okay, yeah, sure we all know you love being here but this morning it was different. It was like you were almost giddy. You’re a big dude, Benji, you don’t do giddy. There are only a few things that could make a guy like you giddy. One of them is getting some really good ass, so again, I ask, was it the prep?”

  “Stop calling him a prep. He isn’t like that?”

  Carrie grinned like the cat who got the cream and I cursed. Reacting to her nickname for Owen was enough to show her I cared. Not that I was ashamed of that. But Carrie liked to pry. She loved us and she was all for us being married off and having babies. Being gay didn’t make me exempt from her attempts.