Big Girls Drama

by Tresser Henderson

  “I didn’t mean to interrupt you,” his baritone voice said.

  “No, you are fine. I was just talking to my dad.”

  The man looked around like he was searching for my father, and I instantly felt embarrassed. He looked at me like I was crazy.

  “My father has passed. The park was our favorite place together. So, I come here to talk to him when I’m going through some difficult times,” I explained with a nervous chuckle.

  His sincere expression let me know he understood.

  “It’s good to know men like your dad exist.”

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “I lost my mother a year ago, so I completely understand where you’re coming from.”

  “It’s crazy how hard it still is.”

  “I know, right? My mother was my rock. I still pick up the phone to call her, realizing she’s no longer here. I feel like an idiot when I do that.”

  “Just like I do now. I mean, look at me,” I said wiping my hands on my black-pleated skirt. “I look like a crazy woman.”

  “You look fine to me,” he said tenderly.

  The way he said it caused me to gaze at him, only to notice he was looking at me compassionately. The handsome man smiled, causing my stomach to flutter.

  “Daddy, can I swing now?” the little girl asked him.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” I said, getting off the swing. “Here you go, sweetie. Aren’t you a cutie-pie.”

  “Thank you,” she said sweetly.

  I watched as the little girl let go of his hand and ran over to the swing I was just in.

  “How old is she?” I asked.

  “She just turned five. I can’t believe she’s starting elementary school in September,” he said as we both watched her rock back and forth to make the swing sway.

  “By the way, my name is Landon,” he said holding his hand out. “And that’s Gabrielle.”

  I looked at my hand, which had smears of mascara, and hesitated shaking his. He reached over and took my hands into his, letting me know it was okay.

  Smiling genuinely, I said, “My name is Kellie.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Kellie.”

  I don’t know what it was about this man, but I really found him attractive. I was always leery of men I came in contact with because most were always gawking at me like I was a piece of steak. I didn’t get that from Landon. For some reason, this man made me feel comfortable around him. But most killers did, didn’t they? Damn, I’ve watched too much Wendy Williams, I thought. She always said the killer is lurking.

  “Daddy, come push me,” his daughter demanded in her cute squeaky voice.

  “I’m coming, honey. Give Daddy one second.”

  “Let me leave so you can get back to your sweetie pie,” I said.

  “Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.”

  “I am. Thanks for asking. Besides, I don’t want to intrude.”

  “You are not intruding at all. This is an open park. You are more than welcome to join us.”

  “I don’t know,” I said with hesitance.

  “Please. Stay. Do you see that young lady,” he said pointing to Gabrielle. “She’s going to wear me out. We can be out here an hour swinging, and she would still want to stay. As much as I love this quality time with her, a brother needs a break and sometimes a little adult conversation. You would be amazed at the things my daughter brings up to talk about sometimes. It scares me.”

  I laughed at Landon, thinking I loved his sense of humor. I decided to join in the fun.

  “So, what you are saying is you want to use me for a break?” I asked jokingly.

  Chuckling, he said, “Of course.”

  I laughed, asking, “Then how can I say no to that?”

  Landon nodded with a smile as his daughter called out to him.

  “Daddy, come push me.”

  “Stay right here,” he said as he scurried over to his daughter.

  I stood and watched, happy he’d invited me to be a part of his father-daughter moment. The little girl squealed with laughter as Landon pushed her. She grinned as that same wind that was caressing my face was now embracing hers. Her daddy made sure she went high, and it looked like she enjoyed every bit of it. He smiled at me as he pushed his daughter who screamed, “Higher, Daddy, higher.”

  Remembering my father doing the same thing, I beamed, knowing he was here with me. I knew that was my father’s way of letting me know you are going to be just fine. I was going to take it as that because seeing this dad and daughter together gave me a comforting feeling that I hadn’t felt in a long while.

  I wasn’t sure how long I was in the park with Landon and his daughter, but I knew it was long enough for my brother to call me several times to make sure I was okay. I ignored the first three calls, but I finally answered him, letting him know I was okay.

  When I hung up, Landon asked, “Your boyfriend?”

  “No, that was my brother. He’s worried about me.”

  “You don’t look like you should have any worries,” Landon said, watching his daughter climb the jungle gym in the park as we sat on a nearby picnic table.

  “You would be amazed.”

  Gabrielle ran over to her dad and asked, “Daddy, are you ever going to tell me where babies come from?”

  “I’ve told you already.”

  “Babies don’t come from bakeries, Daddy. I asked Mom.”

  “Then where did your mother tell you babies come from?” Landon asked his daughter.

  “She told me to ask you again.”

  Smiling warmly, Landon said, “Babies come from a special garden where people plant seeds.”

  “Can we go find some of those seeds, because I want a brother or sister? I can help plant them,” Gabrielle said.

  Landon sighed nervously, mumbling, “I want you to stay away from those seeds.”

  “Why?” she asked, tilting her little head.

  “You weren’t supposed to hear that young lady,” he said.

  “Why?” she asked again.

  “Gabrielle, we will talk about this later, sweetie. We are going home in a little bit. So, go have a little more fun before we go, okay?”

  “Okay, Daddy,” she said running back over to the jungle gym to have more fun.

  With his hands clasped in front of him, he dropped his head, blowing out a deep sigh. All I could do was giggle at him.

  “You see what I’m talking about? She stopped everything she was doing to ask me that. Where do kids get these questions from?”

  “She sounds like a smart little girl,” I complimented.

  “She’s too smart. And I wasn’t playing when I said I wanted her to stay away from seeds,” he said, shaking like the image disturbed him. “My daughter may not ever be planting any seeds of her own if I have anything to do with it.”

  I laughed to myself, realizing he was a lot like my dad. My father didn’t want me having any kids either. Not any time soon. Little did he know I may not ever be able to have any.

  “There you go again. What’s on your mind?” Landon asked, noticing I’d drifted off a bit.

  “Just things,” I answered hopelessly.

  “I hope you know whatever you’re going through, it’s going to work itself out.”

  “How do you know?” I asked.

  “Faith.”

  His answered stunned me. Not because it wasn’t correct, but because it was something my father talked to me about when he was alive.

  “You do have faith, don’t you?” Landon asked warmly.

  “I would like to think I do, but sometimes, I feel like I have none,” I said honestly.

  “It’s okay.”

  “But it’s not okay. I need to have faith things will work out . . . but I don’t. The way things have been going in my life, I’m waiting for the next negative moment to happen to me.”

  “If you are looking for it to come, then it’s going to come. Bad things or negative things will al
ways happen, because that’s life. Unfortunately, we are not living in heaven. I pray I make it there.”

  I chuckled at his humor.

  “There’s always going to be bad times, but there are going to be good times as well. There is no reason for you to sit and be unhappy about the bad things that may happen when you can concentrate on the good things that are.”

  “Can you say that again?”

  “No. That was a mouthful,” he chuckled.

  “I know you’re right, but it’s easier said than done,” I disputed.

  “True, but you have to smile your way through.”

  “Is that what you do?” I asked.

  “Not all the time. Giving you advice is a lot easier than me taking my own.”

  Remembering my conversation with Sonya earlier, I knew that all too well.

  “I tried to give a friend advice today, and I believe it ruined our friendship,” I told him.

  “It didn’t sound like she was a friend to start with,” Landon surmised.

  I looked at him with a puzzled expression. He understood my look and went on to explain. “If you were truly friends, something as simple as advice shouldn’t ruin a friendship. That’s what friends do . . . advise one another, especially when we see our friends maybe doing something that could hurt them in the long run.”

  “I would like to think we were friends. I was definitely a friend to her,” I said.

  “But was she a friend to you?” Landon asked.

  That was one of the things I’d been racking my mind about all day. To know we’d been hanging out with each other this long and her allowing her daughter to stay with me, how could Sonya not be my friend? It was very difficult to think she never was one.

  “Sometimes, we force relationships to work in our lives. Whether friendships or partnerships, it doesn’t take one person to make these things work. All parties have to be a part of making any relationship work.”

  I looked at Landon who watched his daughter enjoy herself wondering where this man came from.

  “Daddy, I’m hungry,” Gabrielle said, running back over to Landon.

  “Me too, honey. What do you want to eat?”

  “Pizza,” she said with excitement.

  “I think Daddy can make that happen.”

  Landon stood to his feet and scooped his daughter into his arms.

  “I’m tired too, Daddy,” Gabrielle told him, laying her head on his broad shoulder.

  “Good. Maybe Daddy can get some rest when you take a nap.”

  “I’m too big to take a nap. Remember, I’m five.”

  “Nobody is ever too big to take a nap, sweetie. Your daddy might take one himself.”

  “But after pizza, okay?” his daughter said sweetly.

  “Okay,” he said chuckling.

  Landon turned to me and said, “You are welcome to join us if you like.”

  “No, I think I better get home before my brother sends out a search party for me.”

  “It was really good talking with you, Kellie. Don’t get me wrong, I love being here with Gabrielle, but having you here made this outing even better.”

  “I enjoyed being with you and Gabrielle as well.”

  “Do you think I can ‘use’ you again?” Landon asked, smirking.

  “Um, I don’t know . . .” I said with hesitancy.

  “I’m not twisting your arm or nothing,” he joked.

  “I know. It’s just—”

  “You have a boyfriend?”

  I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to tell him I was married. I saw him peep at my left hand, I guess checking to see if I was wearing a wedding ring. I was glad I was no longer wearing them. I took my rings off the day I found Jeffrey together with Kyle. Those rings were supposed to be a symbol of a loving union which Jeffrey and I didn’t have.

  “Look, put my number in your phone,” Landon suggested.

  I pulled out my cell and entered the number he recited to me.

  “This way, you can call me if you would like to have lunch or something. We can even do the park again, if you like. I can push you real high on the swing next time.”

  I giggled saying, “I’ll let you know.”

  “Good.”

  “Daddy, come on. Let’s go. My tummy hurts.”

  Smirking, he said, “I better get out of here before I be in trouble.”

  I watched Landon walk away with his daughter as I thought about the wonderful afternoon I had with him. My cell phone rang, and I knew it was Vic calling me again, but when I answered, Vic’s voice was not the one on the other end of my phone.

  It was Dr. Hoffman.

  Vivian

  34

  I was in the kitchen preparing dinner for Sheldon and me, acting like things were okay with us when clearly it wasn’t. Just because he came in earlier and professed his love to me in front of our friends didn’t mean I didn’t have a problem with him showing up at that restaurant with another woman. I still felt some type of way about him introducing me by my name and not my title. I yearned to get to the bottom of it at once, but I had to wait until my company left first.

  “Dinner smells great, babe,” Sheldon complimented as he walked over and kissed me on the cheek.

  He’d gotten comfortable and changed into a pair of his basketball shorts and a tank. I could tell he’d showered also and wondered if he did this to wash away any remnants of the woman he was with.

  A cold “Thanks” passed my lips.

  He pulled out a stool from the island to sit down. He knew I was still pissed, which was why I kept my back turned to him. I stirred his favorite dish, gumbo, which I made for him and my sisters all the time.

  “You still mad at me?” he asked.

  “What do you think?”

  He sighed as he said, “Vivian, I’m really sorry about earlier.”

  I said nothing.

  “I should have told you about the meeting I was having, but I didn’t know how you would take it.”

  That was my cue to turn to him and engage in this conversation.

  “Why? Did you think I would lose it?” I asked with an attitude.

  “Yes, in a way, I did. I didn’t want you to think I was interested in another woman,” he explained.

  “You see how that worked out, don’t you?”

  “Yes,” he said dejectedly.

  “Like you being with that woman wasn’t bad enough, you introduced me as ‘Vivian’ and not your ‘wife.’ How would you feel if I did that to you?”

  He closed his eyes, now realizing why I was so upset with him.

  “Viv, I didn’t realize I introduced you like that. I thought you were mad because I didn’t tell you about the meeting with Nina.”

  “You know what? There’s a lot of things you don’t realize anymore. You seemed to pay more attention when you were my best friend than now that I’ve become your wife. You have fallen into the same category with the rest of the men who fail to pay attention to the woman they claim to love.”

  “Please, Viv, don’t put me in a category with anybody else,” he warned. “I’m my own man.”

  “Then act like one. If you haven’t noticed, I think our marriage is in trouble,” I informed him as I turned back to the pot of gumbo and began stirring it again.

  “Are you regretting you married me?” he asked probingly.

  “Yes. Yes, sometimes I regret marrying you, Sheldon,” I answered clicking the stove off as I removed the pot from the heat. Then I turned back to face him.

  Disappointment was etched on his face, and for a moment, I wondered if I had made a mistake by telling him that.

  “Babe, you know my biggest fear was our intimate relationship with each other, and I feel marriage changed that. I miss the friendship we once had,” I said, speaking in a softer tone, hoping this would relieve some of the tension that was building.

  “Come on, Viv, that’s not fair.”

  “Why isn’t it? Can’t you see things have changed?”

  “
It happens when people get married sometimes,” he countered.

  “Did you forget we were friends first?”

  “No, Viv.”

  “You don’t think I’ve noticed the man you’ve become is all of a sudden holding back from me?” I conveyed. “You always could be yourself with me. But these past few months, something has changed with you.”

  “I wish you would stop saying that,” he belted out.

  “What else am I supposed to think other than you are not attracted to me and maybe you regret marrying me?”

  “I don’t regret marrying you—unlike yourself,” he deflected.

  “You act like you don’t want to be around me. You don’t have sex with me as much as you used to. Hell, you act like you don’t want me to suck your dick anymore.”

  “What I’m going through has nothing to do with you.”

  “Then tell me what’s wrong.”

  Sheldon searched his mind for what to say. I could see his wall going up, and this unnerved me. He never used to be this way with me. He was always an open book with me, but now, he was starting to hide chapters in his life, like I was not important enough to know his full story.

  “I can see you shutting down now.”

  My husband lowered his gaze. I stepped toward him and watched as he pinched the bridge of his nose. I could tell he wanted to say something, but he wouldn’t allow his thoughts to part his lips.

  “You know as well as I do, this marriage can’t work with only one of us willing to give our all. And right now, I’m tired of trying to pull things out of you, when this was never you in the first place.”

  “Viv, you keep pushing me,” he said with frustration. “Why can’t you allow me to choose the time to tell you what’s going on with me? As my friend, you never pushed me, but now, that’s all you do.”

  “I’ve let you have your space. If I see something wrong, of course, I’m going to ask you what’s wrong, but when you say nothing, I’ve left it at that, Sheldon. So, how in the hell am I pushing you? This is the only time I’ve really come at you like this, so I’m confused,” I said, growing agitated.

  “Please, just leave this alone for now, okay?”

  “Okay,” I blurted. “You want to leave that alone, then how about this? Who was the bitch you had lunch with?”

  “Now, we are back to this,” he sighed loudly. “Make up your mind what you want to talk about. Damn.”